November is going to be a month that sheds light on the things lurking underneath the surface of all of our lives. With Scorpio Season remaining in effect for much of the month until the 21st, trust that your inner investigative nature is likely to make an appearance!
This will be an introspective and transformational period where many of us will be focused on growing and healing. The period surrounding the New Moon in Scorpio taking place on November 4th in particular is ideal for shadow work or to engage in reflective and meditative practices like crystal healing, reiki, yoga or taking spiritual baths.
A Full Moon partial lunar eclipse will take place on November 19th in the sign of Taurus. Look out for urgent revelations and sudden conclusions relating to the balancing of your needs and the desires of those close to you.
Here's what you can expect for your sign in November:
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSince Scorpio season began on October 23rd, you may have found yourself paying increased attention to matters related to sex, death, inheritance, or investments. Experiences and people related to this, or to all things taboo and hidden under the surface, have been highlighted for your awareness and reflection for the majority of this month. Adding to the intensity that this month will bring for you is the New Moon in Scorpio taking place on November 4th, illuminating a transformational area of your chart. Expect positive new experiences and beginnings with a lover, or financially. They are likely to positively transform your perspective and approach to life.
The following day, Venus will light up the area in your chart ruling your profession. Your money-making abilities are likely to be boosted for a full four months until this cycle ends in early March 2022. Secure that bag, Aries! Use this opportunity to ask for a raise, or to otherwise make upward moves in your career! Later in the month on November 19th, someone, something, or a situation that has been getting in the way of you feeling like your best self is likely to eclipse out of your life. Or you may decide to take steps toward ending a toxic relationship or leaving an unhealthy environment in the three days preceding and following the 19th.
It is likely to be an emotional time for you so take a moment to reflect and recharge. Whoever or whatever exits your life at this time wasn't meant to remain for the long haul. After the heavy energy and experiences during the week of the 19th, you may feel like getting away when the Sun enters your house of travel, expansion, and exploration on the 21st. Embrace the bolder and more daring energy that's entering your life now while you have a chance! When the Sun leaves Sagittarius and enters Capricorn at the end of December, it will be time to put your career hat back on.
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe sun has been illuminating the area in your chart ruling partnerships and marriage since late October. Are you thinking about taking things to the next level with your significant other? Or are you reflecting on whether or not you should call it quits? New relationships (or a fresh start in an existing relationship) are likely to occur on or around November 4th, when the New Moon in Scorpio breathes new life into your serious partnerships. The following day, on November 5th, Venus enters your 9th house adding a sense of beauty, good fortune, and enhancement to the area of your chart ruling travel, expansion, bold moves, and new experiences. You are going to enjoy this period, which will last for four months until early March. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone Taurus!
Whatever bold moves you make now are likely to work in your favor. Use this period to expand your horizons.
Learn something new or explore a new locale. The full moon taking place on November 19th will feature a partial lunar eclipse. This period will be one of self-awareness and self-actualization for you. You may have been in the dark when it comes to an aspect of yourself that hasn't been serving your relationships or higher self. You are likely to have a slight epiphany about something you have been in denial about or that was kept hidden from you. When the sun enters Sagittarius and your 8th house on the 21st, you will notice an energy shift on a focus towards sex and investments.
Sex will take on a healing and deeply transformational slant during this period, a perfect phase for exploring sexual healing modalities like tantric sex, tantric self-pleasure, or something more intense like BDSM. That would be an excellent phase to work on balancing your root chakra.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe Sun has been illuminating your 6th house since late October, emphasizing your focus on health, work, and daily habits. Your focus on these areas will likely continue until the Sun enters Sagittarius and your 7th house on the 21st when your attention will shift to how you can contribute your newly revitalized self to the improvement of your close relationships. Strengthening your focus on this area will be the New Moon in Scorpio taking place on November 4th. The period surrounding the 5th of the month is an ideal time to begin a new daily habit that will benefit your health or your work. Can you squeeze in a quick HIIT workout between Zoom meetings? What about a walking meditation during your lunch break? Have you been curious about starting a Keto diet? Now is a great opportunity to embark on a new beginning as it relates to your health and exercise habits.
You may even find yourself making a new connection with a coworker as your mind shifts to adding more structure to your work, your diet, and your health. The highlight of November for you will take place on or around November 5th when Venus shines beams onto your 8th house of sex, investments, and other people's money for a full FOUR months. Don't be surprised if you receive a sudden unexpected windfall, or if you embark on a journey of sexual healing that transforms you on a mental, emotional, and physical level.
At the end of the month on November 19th, a partial lunar eclipse will take place in the area of your chart that rules hidden enemies and your subconscious mind. Pay attention to any insights you receive from your intuition or gut feelings during this period of time, especially as they relate to frenemies. When Sagittarius season begins on the 21st, carve out some time to strengthen your bond with your significant other or business partner.
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe Sun has been lighting up your 5th house of fun, flirtation, creativity, and recreation since Scorpio season started on October 23rd. Enjoy three more weeks of good times, enhanced artistic abilities, and increased opportunities for flirting! Lean into this by tapping into your inner child. You know how the saying about all work and no play goes! Take this time to have fun before the Sun enters your house of well-being and work on the 21st, at which time you'll find yourself having to take on more of a structured approach to life. The New Moon taking place on November 5th will further illuminate this area of your chart; you may pick up a new hobby, create something, or lock down a cutie for cuffing season!
This is an ideal time for working on your sacral chakra or carrying orange and yellow crystals.
The most exciting news for you this month is an extended visit from Venus to your seventh house of long-term relationships, marriage, and business partnerships - and she's bringing blessings and positive vibes with her! Expect a boost of good fortune when it comes to your relationships. What starts out as a fun flirtation early this month may end up standing the test of time over the next several months. Are you already in a serious relationship? Don't be surprised if things reach a higher level of intimacy over the next four months.
At the end of the month on November 19th, a partial lunar eclipse takes place in the area of your chart ruling your social circle. Take it that there's something you didn't previously know about someone in your friend group. You may receive an epiphany and this may be an emotional time for you. Whatever realizations you make now are unlikely to be fully revealed or resolved until the Taurus solar eclipse in April 2022. Tread cautiously and take time for yourself!
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleIt's time to get your house in order Leo! Prepare for a month that focuses on foundations of all kinds, especially as they pertain to your home, your job, your health, and your family. The New Moon taking place on the 5th will emphasize your focus on family and living arrangements. Are you moving to a new place in the three days immediately preceding and following this new moon? Do you plan on taking on a caregiving role soon for a friend or loved one? Getting a new roommate? Welcoming a new member to the family?
Rest assured that you have blessings on your side. Now is an ideal time to rearrange your home or to invest in some decor that will breathe fresh life into your crib. Your new living or family arrangements are likely to be beneficial or to otherwise work out in your favor. Venus will shine lucky beams into all endeavors relating to your health, daily habits, and work for the next four months, beginning on November 5th! Have you been thinking about picking up a new workout routine or diet? Now is the time to start - you are likely to receive impressive results from it that will be evident by the time this cycle ends in March 2022.
Despite all of the positive vibes from the Sun and Venus, keep an eye out for a partial lunar eclipse taking place in the area ruling your career. Take it that you may be in the dark as it relates to something going on at work or in your professional field. Whatever it is is unlikely to be revealed until April 2022.
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleExpect to spend more time with your siblings this month, Virgo. Whether it's in person or virtually, this month's focus will be on your communication with siblings, neighbors, your use of (and purchasing of) technology, and short local trips. This is a favorable time for short road trips or purchasing new gadgets. The great news for the month is when Venus lights up the area in your chart ruling friendships, fun, and creative endeavors.
Use this period of time to focus on picking up new hobbies, tapping into your creative side, or embracing your fun, flirtatious side.
Better yet, combine the two! Sign up for a few art or dance classes. Online dating will also be especially fruitful during this phase. On the 19th, a full moon partial lunar eclipse will take place in your house of expansion. Are you itching to make bold new moves, or to set up travel plans? Take your time, and make sure you cross your t's and dot your i's before booking that flight. Lunar eclipses conceal. Take it that you may be in the dark about something you were looking forward to boldly embarking on.
When the Sun enters Sagittarius and your 4th house on the 21st, your focus will naturally shift to matters relating to your family, your foundation, and your home. Use that time to take care of any loose cracks in your house or in your family relationships before they get out of hand!
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleNovember will shed new light on your sense of self-worth and more tangibly, your financial worth. You are likely to find yourself re-evaluating the yardsticks and other people to which you compare yourself and your successes. This is the perfect time to embark on new activities and experiences geared toward boosting your self-esteem, finances, and sense of worth. This is especially true with the New Moon in Scorpio illuminating this area of your chart on the 5th of the month. Any new jobs, side hustles, or self-esteem boosting endeavors are favored during the three days preceding and three days following this phase.
The highlight of the month for you will be when Venus lights up your 4th house of family, home, and real estate. Expect good fortune and blessings as it relates to those areas and for the entire four months that Venus will remain in that area of your chart. Keep your eye on a partial lunar eclipse taking place in your 8th house of sex, transformation, death, and other people's money. Lunar eclipses conceal, and with this partial lunar eclipse occurring in your area of things lurking underneath the surface, take it that you are in the dark about something related to your investments and sex life. Whatever it is won't be revealed until April 2022, so be sure to vet any potential sexual partners or investment opportunities with a fine-tooth comb.
Sagittarius season arrives on the 21st, shining beams on the area of your chart ruling siblings, technology, short-distance travel, and neighbors. You are likely to purchase and/or receive gadgets for Christmas and to spend increased quality time with your siblings and neighbors. These experiences will be especially meaningful and beneficial for you during this time. Short distance travel is emphasized this month through to December 21st for you specifically.
Of all the signs, you are among those most likely to be embarking on an above-average amount of short-distance travel for the holidays so buckle up!
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleNow's your time to shine, Scorpio! You are likely to receive increased attention now through to the end of the month when the Sun enters your second house of value and self-worth. This is particularly true on the 4th when the New Moon in Scorpio lights up your first house of self - you are likely to receive a level of recognition for something you've been diligently working behind the scenes on. Take credit where it's due Scorpio - you deserve it!
A special treat for you will begin on the 5th of the month when Venus enters the area of your chart ruling your relationship with siblings, neighbors, technology, and short-distance travel. Venus will remain here for four months during which you are likely to see a boost in these areas of your life. Whether you plan on speaking at a conference, starting a blog, establishing a social media presence, or diving into online dating, expect increased communication during this phase - it will work to your benefit financially and/or romantically!
Be wary, however, of a partial lunar eclipse occurring in your house of partnerships and marriage. You may be in the dark about an issue as it relates to your spouse or business partner. Whatever it is will come to light during April 2022's solar eclipse, so hold tight!
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleWhat has your intuition been trying to tell you for the past week or so, Sagittarius? Whatever gut feelings you have been experiencing since the 23rd of October are likely to continue through to the end of this month. Pay close attention to them, because whatever messages you receive during this period of time are likely to be extremely valuable for you. This is particularly true during the period surrounding the New Moon on the 4th and the partial lunar eclipse on the 19th.
New Moons are a period of new revelations and experiences whereas Full Moons are a period of culmination and conclusions.
Don't be surprised if a hunch you have around the 4th is confirmed during the period surrounding the Full Moon in Scorpio taking place on the 19th. But don't boldly act on your hunches yet, Sag! Lunar eclipses conceal - whatever hunches you receive may only be partially true, with the rest to be revealed on or around late April 2022. The best news of the month for you? Venus enters your house of finances, self-esteem, self-worth, and beauty.
The period between now and March 2022 will be a literal glow-up for you! Tap into this energy by investing in your finances, your appearance, and in building any skills that will boost how valuable you are in the workspace and from a romantic perspective. All the introspective work that you do now will feed the highlight of the year for you which will be your birthday phase beginning on the 21st.
Do the inner work now, during the first three weeks of the month, so that your outer self can begin to shine when Sag season begins at the end of the month!
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleSure, you're the boss chick of the zodiac. But you don't need to keep your work hat on all the time, Capricorn! As the hardest working sign in the zodiac, I am personally giving you permission to shift your focus from your career into your social life. Believe it or not, investing in yourself socially will not only boost your friendships but can also have beneficial effects on your career and overall health. Don't neglect that opportunity this month, Cap!
This is especially true during the period surrounding the New Moon in Scorpio taking place on November 4th. You may embark on a new friendship that will prove extremely valuable to you. This will become especially apparent six months from now during the Full Moon in Scorpio taking place in April 2022. The highlight of the month for you will take place on the 5th when November enters your first house of self and appearance. Venus will remain there for the next four months.
You are likely to find yourself focused on your physical appearance and the way in which you present yourself to others. Both will be enhanced and will become more refined and attractive! Expect increased attention during this period; people will take notice of you and are likely to respond to you favorably. Invest in a new wardrobe, schedule cosmetic treatments, or take a public speaking course to ensure you are presenting yourself in a way that accurately reflects who you are.
A partial lunar eclipse is taking place in your house of children, creativity, fun, and recreational sex. Lunar eclipses conceal. If you're a parent, pay close attention to your children. If you're single and mingling, make sure you thoroughly vet a potential lover before meeting up in person or having sex. If something is hidden now, it is not likely to be fully revealed until April 2022.
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYou've been on a journey of expansion and knowledge-building, Aquarius! Now's the time to apply all that you've learned and experienced to your profession. The New Moon in Scorpio taking place on the 4th is likely to provide an opportunity to enhance your career. If you are interviewing, applying for, or starting a new gig in the days preceding and following this new moon, your endeavors are likely to go well. Venus enters your house of introspection and intuition on the 19th and will remain here for the next four months. Looking for love? It will come, as long as you do the inner work first! Take moon ritual baths, get reiki, focus on your yoga practice, and/or meditate regularly.
When you shift your focus to the love of self, you will attract love from others without even realizing it.
The period between now and March 2022 is ideal for engaging in shadow work. Dig deep into who you are - flaws and all. Acknowledge and accept all aspects of yourself, even the parts you may be ashamed of or in denial about. You are not perfect, but you are worthy of love. And you can't love another until you love yourself first. This period is intended to remind you of that.
Keep an eye on a partial lunar eclipse taking place in the area ruling your family and home. You may be partially in the dark about something relating to your family, home, or real estate. Hold off on making any major decisions, like purchasing a home or selecting a new roommate, during the week of the 19th.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleGo big or go home this month Pisces! November offers a rare opportunity to live boldly as the Sun and the New Moon in Scorpio lights up the area of your chart ruling travel, expansion, knowledge, and enlightenment. You may find that the travel bug bites you really hard this month with you biting the bullet and booking that vacay you've been putting off all year. Not in a position to travel? You are likely to find opportunities to expand your horizons within the confines of your neighborhood, whether it's through visits to museums or signing up for some courses.
If you choose to expand your awareness in some way this month Pisces, don't be surprised if you find your social circle expanding as a result! Venus is entering your house of friendships on the 19th where it will remain for a full four months. Enjoy a larger social circle and newfound popularity through to March 2022! Have you been experiencing any issues with your neighbors, siblings, or with technology? Don't aim to make any major or permanent decisions relating to those during the three days leading up to and following the lunar eclipse taking place on the 19th. Take time and watch how you communicate with your siblings and neighbors during this time.
Lunar eclipses conceal. Whatever is hidden relating to those things is unlikely to be fully resolved until April 2022. Overall, this will be an expansive month for you, Pisces! The knowledge and connections that you make from your new experiences over the next several weeks are likely to create a confident new you that could potentially aid your career growth during Sagittarius season and beyond.
For more about zodiac signs, horoscopes, and astrology, check out xoNecole's Horoscopes section here.
Featured image by Laci Jordan/xoNecole
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RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
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CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
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LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
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CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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