April is a time of growth, transformation, love, and fresh starts. There is a need to balance passion with emotions and grace with courage this month, as many different pieces of the puzzle begin to come together after somewhat of a confusing start to 2022. April begins with the Sun in Aries and a New Moon in Aries on April 1. The month begins with fiery passion, self-expression, and initiation, and signifies the fresh starts that this month is bringing in general. Change is inevitable and Aries reminds us of the empowerment that can come from making things happen for yourself, no matter what obstacles may previously have been there.
Venus enters Pisces on April 5 and will remain in this emotionally influenced water sign until May 2. Love is about going deep, transcending, and moving with compassion right now. The emotional inspiration is strong while Venus is in Pisces, and this is a good time to create art and admire the connection to love and the mysteries of life. Mercury enters Taurus on April 10 before Taurus Season begins on April 19. And while Mercury is in Taurus, communications become more grounded and rooted in the facts and the meaningful. Mercury in Taurus wants to build, grow with another, and express love in practical ways and there is a balancing act happening this month between wanting to stabilize what is, and letting things flow how they want to right now.
On April 12, there is a powerful conjunction forming between Jupiter and Neptune, and this conjunction signifies intentions turning into manifestations, and making your dreams come true. The effect of this conjunction will be flowing throughout the entire year, and this is one of the most important days of the year for positive thinking, intention setting, and creative and spiritual pursuits. A few days later, Mars moves out of Aquarius and enters Pisces on April 14, and the drive turns from mental pursuits to emotional.
Although we are in fire and earth seasons this month, April has a strong emotional pull to it and these are where a lot of the transformations are taking place right now. April is overall the month of new beginnings and emotional breakthroughs. There are two New Moons and one Full Moon happening this month, which is significant in and of itself. The powerful New Moon in Aries on April 1, the balanced Full Pink Moon in Libra on April 16, and the transformative New Moon Partial Solar Eclipse in Taurus on April 30.
Emotions are high, and they are meant to enlighten and awaken at this time. This is the month to claim your new beginnings.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAries Season is here, and it’s your time to shine, Aries! This month brings with it a time of fresh starts, growth, and compassion. With a New Moon in your sign on the first day of the month, you are entering April claiming your new beginnings and your empowerment. Goals are being attended to, and you have all of the support with you right now to make some major waves in life. Your inner world is flowing with ideas, gifts, and truths, and your intentions are showing fruition in April.
Although you are seeing major progress and growth right now, you are still in a time of important self-reflection and of releasing from your life what hasn’t been serving you. From April 5 to May 2, Venus is in your 12th house of endings, the subconscious, and all things hidden, and your emotional world is spending some time in reflection. You are learning from the past, letting go of old patterns here, and seeking your emotional truths. With a Full Moon in your opposite sign Libra and a Solar Eclipse in your 2nd house before the month ends, something about your partnerships is changing this month, and you are the one making the calls here.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are on the path towards greater abundance right now, Taurus. April is a time of transformation and a time where the seeds of your intentions are blooming into the flowers of your desires. You have been doing important work when it comes to self-love, valuing yourself, and valuing what you bring to the table, and this energy is transforming things in positive ways when it comes to your financial world. Make space for more to come this month, and take the time to plan for your future. With your ruling planet Venus moving through your 11th house of friendships, aspirations, and community in April, you have the people around you to help make your dreams come true.
Moving into the month, the energy begins to move into your sign, and your solar return is here. On April 10, Mercury moves into Taurus, on April 19, Taurus Season begins, and on April 30, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Taurus as well. April is your time of becoming. You have been working diligently towards the things that are most important to you in life and you are feeling a renewed sense of vitality with the support, abundance, and connection that is in your life in April.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is a time of balance, patience, and trusting everything is coming together for you, Gemini. There has been a strong focus on your career this year, and April is bringing in those achievements and recognition you have been looking for. The New Moon on April 1 is transiting your 11th house, and you are moving into April with your community, social circle, and friendships in mind, and are seeing some new beginnings here. This month is all about learning to work together with others in harmony, and keeping an open mind when it comes to different perspectives and ways of navigating your experiences with another.
There is a need for some closure this month, some time to understand the different perspectives and self-beliefs within, and to dive deep into which ones serve and which ones hinder. Mercury will be in your 12th house of the unknown until it moves into your sign on April 29, and for most of the month some more mental downtime, rest, and self-reflection are necessary. With a Full Moon in fellow air sign Libra on April 16, there are key moments of love in your life this month, and gratitude should be acknowledged right now.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is all about not overthinking things and letting things come to you, Cancer. There is a New Moon in your 10th house of reputation as the month begins, and your Moonchild Soul is shining in your authenticity. You are thinking a lot about your career and professional successes at the beginning of the month, and processing the changes that have been flowing through here. April overall is the time for you to take things one day at a time, honor your creativity and inspirations, and to continue to show up for yourself.
Venus moves through fellow water sign Pisces from April 5 to May 2, and this energy is positively influencing your love life and sense of adventure. With Venus in your 9th house of travel and exploration for most of the month, April is a good time to take that trip you’ve been wanting to take, and to overall get some time away to decompress. Your mind is a gift, and you are learning more about the different perspectives and intuitive insights that have been flowing through your world. April is your month to align, gain clarity, and explore what the universe has to offer you, Cancer.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a time of karmic justice, and the tables turning in your life, Leo. You are moving out of a time of challenge and into more of your personal success, as past decisions and paths show fruition. April begins with a New Moon in fellow fire sign Aries, and opportunities are headed your way at the beginning of the month. There is a sense of passion, inspiration, and freedom in the air for you and there are some exciting experiences to say yes to right now. What’s unfolding for you is the divine plan, and it’s coming through from your dignity, patience, and the time you took to really consider your options and your path in life.
With Venus moving through your house of intimacy for most of the month, and a Solar Eclipse in your house of publicity before the month ends; balancing personal life with professional life is necessary. There is an emotional need to connect, commit, and dive deeper emotionally this month, and you are getting opportunities to grow with another. Your guidance is to trust your intuitive visions and insights and to uncover what wants to come to the surface right now. You are making the unknown known this month, and breaking free.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is the motive this month, Virgo. April is a time of new beginnings for you in your relationships and within your emotional world. With a New Moon in your 8th house on the first of the month, you are breaking through any barriers that have been placed between you and love and letting the walls fall. With Venus moving through an area of your chart dealing with relationships for most of April, you are feeling the progress, connection, and alignment you have been looking for in love, and there is a confidence in you both physically and emotionally.
Your ruling planet Mercury is moving through your 9th house of adventure from April 10 to April 29, and you are exploring your options in life right now. With a Full Moon in your 2nd house of values, assets, and income in mid-April, you are releasing from your life anything that doesn't add up with how you see yourself, your future, and how you value yourself. April is all about playing your cards right, and thinking out of the box to gain new insights. There is a Solar Eclipse happening on April 30, and you are ending the month inspired by the paths that are opening for you right now.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is all about fresh starts, speaking your voice, and cutting through the bs. You are empowered by the transformations that you are moving through right now, and others are inspired by your process and progress this month, Libra. You start the month out with Mars in your 5th house of romance and a New Moon in your 7th house of love, and this combo is exactly what it sounds like. The beginning of the month is all about basking in love and letting yourself receive the love that you so often give to others. Make your happiness the priority right now, Libra.
Moving into the month, there is a Full Pink Moon in your sign on April 16. This is a time where you are going to really be seeing the culmination, endings, and new beginnings in your life, and a time to release what doesn’t feel like you anymore. Boundaries may need to be placed this month to honor your self-respect and self-love, and you are getting the space to do just that. The balance of the yin and yang within comes into play right now, and April is the time to accept, release, renew, and speak up. You are powerful, Libra.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecolePositive outcomes are coming through for you this month, Scorpio. April is a time when you are shining in your joy, your truths, and your compassion. The beginning of April is bringing in new beginnings to working/everyday life and you are seeking out new, beneficial, healthy routines that work with you. You are taking a grounded approach to things right now, and letting the blessings unfold for you. With Venus moving through your house of romance for most of the month, April is all about feeling the love, giving it, and grounding yourself in gratitude.
Old chapters are closing in April, and you are satisfied with what is coming to fruition for you right now. You are ready to leave the past behind and are finding peace in doing so. On April 29, one of your ruling planets Pluto goes Retrograde, and there is a need for more patience and understanding when it comes to communications, expression, and making your voice heard. On the next day, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in your sister sign Taurus, and you are gaining clarity on what support systems, love, and relationships have and will be there for you through it all.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of seeking truth, understanding, and new developments, Sagittarius. There is a New Moon in the fellow fire sign on April 1, and this New Moon is influencing your love life and sense of happiness. The beginning of the month is all about reminding you how loved you are, and about giving you those nudges to speak up for yourself, your heart, and what it needs. View things within the lens of self-love this month, and don’t let any naysayers get you down. You know what is best for you and you have the power to connect with more of the people who align with that as well.
With Mercury in your 6th house of work, health, and daily routines from April 10 to 29, and a Solar Eclipse in this area of your chart on April 30, you are moving towards the end of the month with your health and well-being in mind. The ideas, insights, and breakthroughs are coming in for you right now to see what needs to be released and what would nourish you. April is about clearing out any old perspectives that aren’t serving you now and letting yourself rise to your new beginnings, Sagittarius.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleApril is your month of breakthroughs and fortune, Capricorn. You are entering a time of success after some experiences of feeling like your world has been flipped upside down. April is all about things falling into their divine place, finding your ground, and you benefiting from the transitions you are seeing in life right now. With Venus flowing through your 3rd house of communication for most of the month, you are speaking from the heart and receiving messages of love as well, and this is a good month to connect, communicate, and get your ideas and thoughts heard.
You are known for being your goal-oriented and hardworking self, and with a Full Moon on April 16 in your house of career, you are getting the right opportunities to close out old chapters in your professional world, and see some new paths open for you here too. There is a sense of leveling up this month. Pluto goes Retrograde in your sign on April 29 before the month ends, you are entering a journey of understanding yourself more, your path in life, and what feeling personally empowered means to you. Flow with change--don’t force, and make space for your blessings, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about gaining new insights, opening your mind, and spending some time reflecting on all that’s been, Aquarius. The New Moon on April 1 is highlighting your communications and your personal influence, and this is a good time to express yourself, connect with others, and get some errands done. Some important messages are coming through right now. April is all about acting on intuition and intention rather than impulse, and about making sure your actions align with your values. You are seeing things with new eyes this month and also taking into account who and what supports this vision for yours, Aquarius.
With Mars in your sign until April 14, you have some extra energy at your disposal right now, and all the opportunities to move forward with your personal dreams. The Full Moon happening in fellow air sign Libra on April 16 is happening in an area of your chart that has to do with adventure and expansion, and April overall is a good month for you to network and meet some new people. Have fun with your self-expression this month, and remind yourself how valuable and needed your perspective and knowledge is in this world, Aquarius.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAlthough Pisces Season has wrapped up, you are still feeling the inspiration and the strong influence of Pisces energy with Venus and Mars moving through your sign for most of the month, joining Jupiter and Neptune who are here as well. 2022 in general is a big year for Pisces, and this month is when things really begin to get going for you. The beginning of April is a time to look at your bank statements, financial growth, and financial goals, and to plan for the future. This is a good month to take into account the giving and receiving in your life and to make sure everything adds up with what equates to balance for you.
Jupiter and Neptune form a powerful conjunction in your sign on April 12, and this is a good day to make a wish. The energy you naturally bring forth is being highlighted and well-received and you are shining with creativity and passion as you move into the month. Mars finishes its transit in your sign on April 29, and there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse the next day. The end of April is all about transformations within your personal community, communications, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture, Pisces.
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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