To be successful, you must live a life that is aligned with God's purpose for you.
Often in life, we tend to ignore our purpose because of fear. We slave at jobs that are unfulfilling, and we spend our days, working to live out someone else's dreams. When you do work that is not destined for you, it is believed that you will never be as satisfied, happy, and successful as you can be if you were doing work that YOU were created to do.
I recently sat down with entrepreneur and boss babe, Arian Simone, who is living proof that when you don't do work that was created purely for you, things will not fully work out and you won't be as happy as you can be. Arian is the CEO of Arian Simone Enterprises and the mastermind behind the upcoming 3-day Fearless Reloaded conference in Atlanta which aims to inspire women to live fulfilled, confident, bold lives while making a positive impact on the world. But before becoming the founder and CEO of her own enterprise, she was jobless, homeless, and was in a financial hell hole.
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With Arian's fearless attitude and her life mantra of "If there is a will, there is a way," she was able to go from being homeless to living out her dreams and life destiny. In 30 minutes, Arian taught me what I like to call her 6 secrets to success that we can all benefit from knowing.
Secret #1: Don't pursue a career just because it will be convenient and easy.
In college, I did a five-year MBA program while running my own business. Even before college, I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit. Before owning my own business, a fashion boutique, I was in real estate, and in high school I sold Mary Kay.
The boutique Arian owned in college
When I was preparing to graduate, I became so used to entrepreneurship and I knew the ups and downs that entrepreneurship could have. I decided then that I didn't want the instability that could come from being an entrepreneur. I decided to just go get a job because I felt it would be more safe, convenient, and easy. But girl was I wrong. I did that I ended up in more hell from that than I ever had when I owned a store or any business. After college, I moved to LA and decided to ignore my entrepreneurial spirit and work for someone else. Unfortunately, just after 30 days of working there, I was laid off because the company got sold. With the job loss, I also became homeless with no money.
During this moment, I realized that people either come to a place in their life and have to surrender by choice or force, and for me it was by force because I had no choice. I learned how important it was to stay aligned with God's purpose. A lot of times when we venture off and take shortcuts (or an easier route) from what we were destined to do, chaos will come come into our lives. I learned that while living any life will have its ups and downs, your ups will always outweigh your downs and your good will always outweigh your bad in the event that you are doing what you are created to do. So when I tried to take a shortcut in that moment of my life, it created hell and I realized I should've kept being an entrepreneur. But no, I wanted to go get a 'regular job', get something stable, and do something that would keep my mother assured. But it was hell. It was truly a living hell. When people hear this story, they always say 'oh you just overcame it', but really I just got align with what I was created to do - which is being a business owner. And once that moment happened, things started to work for me in my favor.
Secret #2: Use the gifts that you were given and good things will happen.
Wherever I'm at, I always make the best of my experience, use my gifts, and have a fearless attitude. When I first went on tour with Chris Brown to be a publicist, I had no idea that I had to publicly speak. I thought that I could just do book interviews, radio broadcasts, check ticket sales, and just work at that capacity. Now I love to talk, I can talk to you all day, but I had no clue that I would have to moderate and speak by ad-libbing and performing on cue.
During the tour, Chris came up with this idea to speak at high schools and middle schools and he said that I would need to give an introduction, speak, and moderate the Q&A periods. At first I was a little uncomfortable because I wasn't expecting it, but I did my best and delivered.
Secret #3: When things get tough, push through anyway.
While I was homeless and unemployed, my parents were still in Detroit (which is where I am from). Even though going back home would have been the easy way out, I stayed in LA. My motivation was that home doesn't provide a better opportunity for me. My parents were going through a horrible divorce and were low on money, so it was either be broke there or here [in LA]. Had I went home, I would have been on my mother's couch and she was already struggling. It would've just been a mess and I would've been a burden to her. I wouldn't have been able to strike big.
Secret #4: You should never feel like you are stuck to a career.
In your career or life, you are not stuck.
If you think like this, the first step would be re-positioning your thinking because you current situation doesn't dictate your future. Nobody is holding a gun to your head, saying you have to stay where you are at. You are letting your mind condition you to think that you have to be a slave to a check and that your life and security is dependent on being at that job or having a certain career. The next step would be to create a plan or an exit strategy before leaving the place that you feel stuck at. So if you know you make $55,000 a year but desire leaving your job, you know you will need a good exit strategy. This exit strategy would need an income of about $5,000 a month to transition seamlessly so that you don't have any of the hiccups that I had when I got laid off. Your first strategy may you want to go talk to HR and see if they can outsource you at your job, but also keep you on salary. Outsourcing is a write off for the company, and they can still have you doing what you are doing. The only difference is now you have the freedom of working from home and the flexibility to start whatever this new venture is that you want or go do something else that you desire.
Another secret for this is figure out what you want to do, and then find someone to pay you to do it. Let's say you love to be a cartoonist or paint, there is someone that will pay you to do it.
Secret #5: Don't rush special moments and always take advantage of all networking experiences and resources.
When I think about the advice that I would give college students that want to own their own business in school, I would say that I wouldn't recommend it. If you want your own business, I think you should use your time in college to prepare for that, but I don't recommend to operate in full execution mode like I was. Doing so was definitely a big much - I had a brick and mortar business and I was open during mall hours which are 9am-8pm. This takes things to a whole new level for me, especially because I was a full-time student as well. I feel like I kinda rushed things and my college experience. I should have been more in that collegiate state - not that I have any regrets, but there are so much in the college experience that you can benefit from. College is such a short, precious time, and you should be able to absorb it all.
Arian Simone's boutique while in college.
During your time in college, I recommend that people take advantage of everything, including the networking and resources. College is like a huge networking incubator full of opportunity and creatives. Somewhere on the campus, there is a budding graphic artist, photographer, you name it. You should be figuring out how to collaborate with them and build relationships. A lot of successful businesses nowadays stem from those college experiences, and sometimes don't start until after college.
Secret #6: As a manager, learn how to hire smarter and better.
As a manager, you always want to hire great talent. That is key. One of my favorite producers says always “cast behind the scenes as well as on the team." You definitely want to have people that are not just good, but they have to fit in with the culture of your business. Also, as you are selecting your team, you definitely want to make sure they are aligned with the vision of your business.
Currently through her enterprise, Arian is managing her successful subscription box business. When she is not curating lifestyle boxes, she uses her personal brand and hold fearless discussions about being transparent in today's society and pop culture.
She is also known for her motivational speaking and has spoken at Dartmouth College, Purdue University, Howard University, FAMU, and a host of others. Arian has also spoken at major events such as Dwyane Wade's Wades World Youth Summit, MegaFest, and the Delta Sigma Theta National Convention just to name a few. Through her philanthropic efforts, she uses her life as an example and serves as the Founder of the Live Your Dreams Foundation, which empowers women and girls to live a fearless and fulfilled life.
What are you doing today that will shape your tomorrow?
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak