Women Are Using Yoni Steams To Heal Themselves From Reproductive Issues And Sexual Traumas
My conversations with my mother and sistah-friends are honest, heartfelt, and humorous when it comes to our yoni (womb/vaginal) wellness and sexual health. (Yes, I have those conversations with my mother).
I remember being in my pre-teen and teenage years, my mother would always keep it 100 about the sacredness of my vaginal.
She said that my vagina was sacred and I need to protect and care for my vagina because it is very important for my health and womanhood.
My mother insisted that every man is not deserving of my vagina because due to lack of respect, diseases, and lustful and one-dimensional behavior some men displayed negative spirits could pollute and traumatize my yoni.
As a teenager, I used to clutch my pearls because my mother kept it too real. At 32 going on 33, I give thanks to my mother for stepping out her comfort zone and passing on that wisdom from her mother and grandmother onto me. I'm also thankful for The Almighty for giving me permission to receive that important and lifelong message of self-protection and self-perseverance.
I always knew about yoni steaming through conversations with my sistah-friends and attending workshops and teleclasses on womb/yoni care. I even participated in a womb wellness restoration group coaching program that helped me to become aware of the power of my yoni and how to release negativity and anger that surrounded my yoni.
We underestimate the importance of it until something major occurs such as infertility, fibroids, PCOS, and other vaginal/reproductive health issues.
Many women each year are diagnosed with cervical cancer, fibroids, PCOS and other gynecological issues. On top of that, women of color don't receive quality and equal treatment from physicians. Physicians perform early hysterectomies, push clinical trial treatment drugs and other unethical treatment on women of color. Our bodies have been used as science experiments for eons. Hence, why we must start advocating for equality and quality of holistic health especially womb care. We have to really take the time to care for ourselves holistically, and have honest conversations about our inner care. Now is the time to start healing ourselves and wombs.
Our womb is intricate, delicate and powerful. Not only do we birth human beings, but we birth civilizations, ideas, love, and creativity. Our wombs are our 24/7 navigation and intuitive guide. When something is off balance, we feel it in our womb. Unfortunately, our wombs are often, unprotected, disrespected, and policed by systemic racism and oppression through reproductive policies and laws, and disrespected by patriarchy. People make unspoken decisions about our wombs without our consent. We often have our wombs monitored by friends and family members, and they're polluted through processed and fast foods, medications, misdiagnoses, hyper-sexualize behavior.
We suffer in silence by not taking care of ourselves and truly loving ourselves right where we are in life even when times are hard. We break our own bodies down due to not properly resting, nurturing, or nourishing ourselves and wombs. We have to make a stance and not allow ourselves and our sistahs to no longer be quiet and participate in self-destructive behaviors to our inner FLYness and sacredness.
Some women turn to vagina steaming sessions to heal and release sexual trauma. Others may turn to steaming for relief and healing if they are suffering from uterine fibroids, painful menstruation, irregular menstrual cycles, ovarian cysts, and endometriosis.
I decided to regularly participate in DIY yoni steaming at home because I needed some inner healing.
I suffer from hypothyroidism (low thyroid functioning) and Menorrhagia (prolonged and heavy menses). Over the holiday season, I found myself on the sick and shut-in list. I was suffering from heavy bleeding and cramping due to hormone imbalances and low thyroid functioning. My menstrual cramps were unbearable to the point, I couldn't sit up and participate in daily living activities. I was hyper-emotional and intolerable to be around due to the inner suffering. I was going through pads and panties like water.
Yikes and Yuck!
I had to buy overnight pads just to keep up with the heavy flow. This was a major disruption in my life that I could no longer tolerate.
I decided to make a drastic change and start researching yoni steaming along with discussing my journey with some of my fellow sistah-friends who also yoni steam on a regular basis. I came across so many positive and honest articles about vagina steaming and the benefits of why you should steam from other brown girls who discovered a drastic change in their holistic lifestyle. I read how some have shorter and painless menses, the betterment of their fertility, and the decrease of vaginal dryness. In other words, the wet, wet came back in full effect.
While reading the articles, I was like, "Yassssss, I am steaming by any means necessary." One of my sistah friends stated that she yoni steam a few weeks after giving birth. She stated that she healed quicker and restored her uterus quicker.
So, I took the leap of faith and yoni steamed...
I went to my local health store, Fertile Underground in Providence (since closed) to purchase my dried herbs. Herbs cost around $1.50 to $3.00 per oz in a bag. I spent under $25 and have plenty of herbs to last me about two months. You want to use dried herbs instead of essential oils because our vagina is very sensitive to using hot oils. Our yoni is very delicate so please handle with care.
Drea's Herbs of Choice:
- Lavender is a sweet-smelling herb that helps with cleansing and healthy uterine functioning.
- Rosemary helps with circulating out old fluids and blood. It helps purify and stimulate the yoni
- Lemon Balm helps with reducing occasional itchiness and it smells delightful
- Dandelion helps improve endocrine and reproductive health. It helps rid excess estrogen, sugars, and toxins of the body
- Marigold helps ease and treat cramping
- Burdock root helps with balancing hormones
- Peppermint helps with restoration of the yoni and enhance energy
- Chamomile helps with cramping as well. It smells yummy and it is great for soothing and relaxation.
Drea's DIY Home Setup:
- Research what plants/herbs you need for your steam. Do you need to steam due to your menses? Do you want to tighten up your yoni? You want so steam because you want to try something new? This is when you need to sit down and ask yourself what your yoni needs. We all have different needs for our yoni. You want to steam a few weeks before your menstrual cycle to ease the symptoms of you are steaming to ease menstruation.
- Prepare your yoni steam by pre-preparing the herbs by placing them in a mason jar. You need only a cup for your herbs
- Fill your pot with filtered water and add your herbs to the filtered water
- Boil your herbs and water together for about 10-20 minutes. Let steeped for about 5 minutes before adding to your bowl. Place your forearm need the herb infused water to ensure the comfort of the water temperature. You don't want to burn your yoni outer tissue
- I don't have a yoni steam chair so I cleaned my toilet bowl and place my pot inside the toilet
- Make sure you have tea, water, reading materials ready so you are not disturbed during your steaming session. Also, change into a long skirt, put thick socks on along with a long sleeve t-shirt to withhold the steam. You want to cover and wrap yourself with a thick blanket from neck to feet to ensure the steam is not being let out.
- Remove your underwear before sitting on the chair or toilet. Open your legs to allow the steam to enter into your yoni
- Steam for 20-30 minutes
- Once yoni steam is complete, go lay down and wrap yourself under a blanket to restore your body. Steaming relaxes and restores your body. You might become lightheaded the first time due to the steam cleansing and detoxifying.
I am officially a regular yoni steamer. Yoni steam part of my self-love and self-care routine and I do it weekly up until my menses begins. I usually make it a yoni steam, spa day at home because I am healing my inner FLYness, thyroid, and loving myself more and more.
The herbs I use are very beneficial for decreasing my cramps and help cleanse my holistic FLYness.
When I steam, I set loving and healing intentions for the steam and for my work week. I usually meditate and journey during my steam session. It gets emotional at times because I am releasing a lot of toxins from my body, mind, and spirit.
This is my personal 'Me" time in the comfort of my own home.
Have you ever had a yoni steam?
*Originally published on Brown Girl From Boston
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Living With PCOS As A Black Woman - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- What Are Yoni Pearls, Detox Your Womb - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- What Are Yoni Detox Pearls, Vagina Detox - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Vaginal Moisturizing Melts, Taste Sweeter - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Spiritual Bath: Self-Care Ritual, Best Recipe - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Holistic Care Vaginal Health Wellness - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Andrea C. Imafidon is a Brown Girl From Boston, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Blogger, and Speaker from Boston, MA. Brown Girl From Boston blog fuse Hip Hop lyrics from Women Emcees and positive affirmations to promote self-care, self-love, and self-empowerment to Brown Girls around the World! Connect with Drea on Facebook and IG @BrownGirlFromBoston
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
____
Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images