Back when I was a teenager, I remember going into a health store and overhearing my mother speaking with a homeopath. For whatever the reason, what stood out to me most was the woman saying there was such a thing as "widow's disease". According to her, if a woman hasn't had sex in a couple of years and then does again, it's not uncommon for her body to literally flood with vaginal fluid and the nickname for it is, well, widow's disease. Ever since I heard her say that, I have never forgotten it nor have I been able to Google search it; however, it has caused me to keep an ear out for other "huh?!" things about vaginas that may cross my path. In walks, winter vagina.
If you just scrunched up your nose and/or your eyes got wide while looking at the screen, that's exactly how I felt when I first heard the term. And since apparently it's something that tends to creep up around this time of the year, I figured this would be as good of a time as any to break down what it's all about. Are you ready to protect yourself from ending up with — chile, CHILE — winter vagina? I totally feel you.
What in the World Is “Winter Vagina”?
And just what in the world is a winter vagina? From what I've researched, this is something that a midwife from London has been receiving a lot of buzz about. Basically, since cold weather can lead to lower humidity, brisk winds and less moisture, it's no secret that all of this can cause our skin to dry out. No shocker there, right?
OK, but wouldn't it make sense that if say, the lips on our face can feel extra chapped during the fall and winter seasons that our "lips down below" would as well? Especially since when it's colder outside, we tend to rely on central heat which can totally zap the moisture that is in the air out from whatever room that we are in. Ladies and gents, I give you, winter vagina.
The reason why this is so important to keep in mind is because, oftentimes, whenever the topic of vaginal dryness comes up, it's usually centered around there being a drop in our system's estrogen levels or some other kind of medical condition. However, thanks to the introduction of "winter vagina", now we've got something else that could be the reason for why we're not very moist (or wet enough) down below. And since a dry vagina can lead to vaginal infections and definitely uncomfortable sex, it's important that each of us are proactive about keeping our vagina naturally lubricated, as much as possible — especially around this particular time. Because, as you can see, while winter is cool, a winter vagina isn't. So, just what can you do to stay on top of this issue?
5 Things You Can Do to Prevent “Her” from Experiencing It
1. Eat some phytoestrogens.
If you think that your vagina is dry because your hormones are a bit off kilter, something that can help is to eat foods that are high in phytoestrogens. The reason why is because an even balance of estrogen can help to keep your vagina moist. Some of those foods include dried fruits, sesame seeds, peaches, wheat bran, cruciferous vegetables (like cauliflower and broccoli), peaches and alfalfa sprouts.
2. Moisturize with extra virgin olive oil.
If your inner or outer lips feel drier than you would like, something that can bring them instant relief is extra virgin olive oil (oil that is made from pure cold-pressed olives oil). The fatty acids and antioxidants in it are great when it comes to deeply moisturizing your skin, repairing damaged skin tissues and providing antibacterial benefits too.
Just make sure to not use this as a lubricant when it comes to engaging in penetrative sex if you're going to use a condom. The reason why is because oils tend to dissolve prophylactics which is definitely not what you want to happen if you're trying to prevent a potential STD or unplanned pregnancy.
3. Use lubricant during sex.
Now, if you want to use some lube (and I totally get why you would. Check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant"), just make sure to go with one that is silicone or water-based instead. Silicone has amazing slip while water-based is good for your sex toys. Either way, it's probably the best way to combat winter vagina as far as sex is concerned, so make sure to have at least a couple of tubes lying around somewhere.
4. DIY vaginal wash.
You know something else that can dry out your vagina? Perfumed soaps, gels or body washes. Not only that but they are also prone to throw off your vagina's pH balance (check out "Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced"). This is why it's best to use water only, something that is all-natural (a bar that I got on Etsy that I really like is Kaishasorganic's Tea Tree Yoni Soap) or, you can even make your own vaginal wash. If you're interested in trying "Door #3", I've got you covered. A couple of years back, I wrote "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes" for the site. I've made some of them myself. They're dope.
5. Sleep naked with a humidifier on.
Listen, something that I've been telling anyone who will listen is they should definitely invest in a (new) humidifier. Since it's officially cold/flu/COVID season and none of those viruses like higher humidity environments, sleeping with one on can help to prevent you from getting sick. It also can help to keep your skin really moist, including your vagina, especially if you sleep naked. It's something that can effectively help to fend off a winter vagina all fall and winter season long — which is definitely a good thing. Extremely so, sis.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Yara Shahidi Shares Her Formula For Manifesting The Career Of Her Dreams
Yara Shahidi is a walking testimony of what it looks like to live out your wildest dreams, and she has managed to do it all in the harsh limelight of Hollywood without selling her soul. From acting and producing to hosting The Optimist Project podcast with SiriusXM to being a full-time college student at Harvard, now graduate, the 24-year-old has built a career that inspires while staying true to her values.
But how does she balance such a demanding yet "well-rounded" life while continuing to manifest new opportunities?
In a recent episode of The School of Greatness podcast with Lewis Howes, Yara opened up about her unique formula that has been instrumental to her success: following her curiosity. When asked how she manifests things in her life, Yara explained to the host, “There are many different ways. For some of the bigger things, it really is kinda getting downloads and moments of like, ‘Oh, I think that’s next.’”
She added, “Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention.” She described these intuitive “downloads” as waves of excitement or curiosity, deeper than that, as moments that spark her interest and give her clues about what to pursue next.
"Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention."
“A lot of what I think I’m interested in tackling comes from a wave of curiosity,” she said. “Like, for some reason, this is grabbing my attention, and I really couldn’t tell you why.” For Yara, those seemingly random sparks often turn into something deeper and more meaningful for the Bloom actress. She even recalled her podcast The Optimist Project flourishing as a result of a seed planted in her mind as a result of those waves of curiosity.
Whether it’s exploring new roles in her career or partnerships in the world of fashion and endorsements, her method of following the lead of those curiosities has led to incredible results.
One story Yara shared illustrated the power of curiosity-driven manifestation. Seemingly out of nowhere, she wrote down every endorsement deal she thought of having, not as a goal-oriented thing, but more so just writing down on a whim different brands that came to her head as a result of the sparks she is often led by.
Two years later, she realized she and her team had accomplished every single one. “It truly starts as this vision board,” she explained as she recounted the power of her and her team’s alignment on their curiosities. By letting her curiosity guide her, she’s been able to align those visions with the right opportunities. “What do we see?” she asks herself and her team, emphasizing the importance of shared alignment and intention in calling in the right opportunities for her life.
Curiosity is more than just a passing feeling for Yara, in fact, it’s a practice. From her TED Talk on the subject to her daily approach to life, she’s made it clear that tuning into what sparks joy and excitement is her formula for success. She noted that the curiosities are the true start of it all and the analytics or the “how” of achieving the goal comes later.
For Yara, it’s simple: let curiosity lead and trust the path to reveal itself.
Her journey reminds us that curiosity is often the key to uncovering our true purpose. By paying attention to what excites us, we can create a life that aligns with our values and dreams. As Yara’s story shows, following our curiosity might just be the first step toward manifesting the career and life we’ve always imagined.
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