I have a preference for tall men — really tall ones, at that. I ain’t got no lies to tell you. And I am definitely one of those kinds of people who don’t think that anyone (male or female) has to defend or justify what their preferences are (nor be bullied out of them). At the same time, though, some of my best friendships consist of shorter guys, some of the best sex of my life came from shorter guys, and some of my favorite and most inspiring folks in this world are shorter guys…so, in my opinion, they definitely deserve their props.
Not to mention the fact that the average height for men in this country is 5’9” (genetics play a huge role in that), and — get this — only 15 percent of American men are 6’ and over. And you know what that means, right? If you decide to not even give a shorter guy a chance, you are cutting out 85 percent of the male population.
I know that some of y’all couldn’t care less about anything that I just said — you have a type, you want what you want, and you’re sticking to it. Yet what if staying close-minded is costing you without you even realizing it? Because while having a preference (knowing what you naturally gravitate to) is more than fine, an unfounded prejudice (an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason) is something that’s completely different. And the reality is the latter could be blocking you from your blessing.
To further solidify my point, I asked some men who fit into the height majority (some of y’all will catch that later) to share their thoughts on being under 6’ and how that can actually be a win in the realm of relationships. Some of their thoughts just might show you how you could be “coming up short” by not dating them.
(As always, middle names are used.)
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1. Roman. 31. Married. 5’7”.
“I’ve never had a problem being short — or at least, what our culture says is short. Only athletes in my school were super tall, and I find women with heels on to be sexy because I’m a legs man. I guess I’m lucky because I don’t even remember hearing ‘short man jokes’ back in the day. As far as what makes short guys a good catch, overall, is I think that we have such a level of confidence and self-awareness that makes our brand of masculinity appealing…at least, that’s what my wife says. She’s 5’4” and has always preferred guys who are on the shorter side of things.”
2. Caide. 29. In a Serious Relationship. 5’5”.
“I ain’t got no lies for you. When I was growing up, I was pissed about being the size that I am now. It wasn’t so much because of women — I just didn’t like it. Once I got to college and met this 5’10” girl who I dated for about two semesters, my entire perspective changed. We both like fashion a lot and have hella natural style. Before long, we had a reputation for being trendsetters on campus, and people liked that she didn’t care that I was shorter and that I got over the fact that she was pretty much towering over me when she had on her heels. When two people like each other, no matter what, there’s something really appealing about that. My lady now is taller than me too. Ask me if either one of us cares.”
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3. Jakari. 45. Married. 5’7”.
“I’ve never understood why a woman who is five feet thinks that she needs a man who is towering over her. If she even got with a guy who is 5’5”, he’s gonna be taller than her. Relax."
"Anyway, my wife is 5’6” and she’s gonna keep some heels on her feet. The two boyfriends before her were over 6 [feet], and treated her like sh-t. She said that a man who is tall in character beats a man with height any day. You see who she’s with…right?”
4. Nicco. Single. 5’3”.
“Some men have a so-called ‘Napoleon Complex,’ I won’t lie. But for the most part, if you ask any woman about the traits of shorter men, they are almost always gonna say that we’re funny, charismatic, and great communicators. Those are things that we had to work at so that our height wasn’t the main focal point. If you want one hell of a good time, a short man is almost gonna guarantee you that. I swear, y’all be missin’ out.”
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5. Elias. Married. 5’6”.
“I’ve personally never really cared what people think. For what? Folks change like the weather. I personally think that’s what a lot of women found attractive about me. Why should I stress over something that I cannot change or want someone who doesn’t want me over something as shallow as my height? I once read that people who care about what others think tend to be paranoid, unstable and that they constantly blow things out of proportion. No woman is gonna feel safe around that kind of man. Embracing who you are and then maximizing its potential is gonna make you stand out — no matter how tall you are.”
6. Oryn. Single. 5’3”.
“You asked, so I’ll tell you why so many women trip. It’s because they think that ‘short’ automatically means ‘small.’ Please tell them that penis size has to do with genetics, not height, and there are a lot of tall men who won’t bless you like some of the shorter fellas well. That sh-t needs to be taught in science class because the way that ignorance gets spread is wild, boy.”
(Shellie here: He’s right. Some of the tallest guys that I’ve been with had some of the smallest packages. Please let the hand and shoe-size myth go.)
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7. Enzo. 25. In a Serious Relationship. 5’8”.
“Back when I was trying to get my now-girlfriend to go out with me, I asked her who her favorite celebrity was. She said, Usher. In my mind, I thought, ‘Perfect!’ because I already knew what his height was. I said, ‘I thought you said that you’re not into short men,’ and when she said, ‘I’m not,’ I said, ‘Google the brotha.’ You should do it too because that man is 5’8” — just like me. I took her to his show in Vegas, and we’ve been going strong ever since. It’s kind of wild how that totally changed her perspective — just realizing that he’s not as big as she made him up in her mind to be. Pretty sure that there’s a deep life lesson in that.”
8. Langdon. Married. 5’5”.
“Back when I was dating my wife, she said that she was concerned about what people would think when they saw us out. She wondered if they would assume that she was settling because she’s close to 5’10”. All we get are compliments because we’re often told that our style and energy are attractive. She also said that I’m what made her finally consent to the fact that we all really are the same height lying down. I’ll let y’all read between the lines with that one.”
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9. Carter. 40. Engaged. 5’7”.
“I’m not playin’ these games. While women are out here turning their nose up at ‘regular’ short guys, their favorite celebrities are short too. I work in entertainment, and even the ones who claim they are 6’ are usually lyin’. Pay attention to how women measure up to men the next time you watch a movie or television show. Watch how many guys are eye to eye with the ladies. Y’all don’t care about height as much as you think you do…so long as men have other things to bring to the table.”
(Shellie here: I got to give this “height hack” to him because I once read that the average height for leading men is around 5’9” while the average leading lady clocks in at about 5’5”. Do with that what you will, chile.)
10. Braylon. 32. Single. 5’8”.
“Hypocritical jargon and double standards withstanding — women having preferences don’t bother me. I just tend to ask women who claim that you have to be a certain height to ‘ride their ride’ to explain where they are coming from because a lot of them only repeat what someone else has said as far as the whole height thing goes. As far as what they’re missing, I think it should be approached from a different angle — if you’re so caught up in a man having to be a certain size to even get a date with you, aren’t you setting yourself up to miss out on some really great people?
"Wanting a tall person for no reason than ‘just because’ is limiting. As for me and my dating life, I’m doing just fine. You’d be amazed how many more dates you can get when you’re open to different types of people.”
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11. Jaxen. 34. Single. 5’4”.
“I’ll put it to you this way: There are certain sex positions that can be enjoyed so much more because two people are standing eye to eye. Hell, even a hug and kiss can feel more intimate when your bodies are lined up with each other. I don’t have to sell anyone on it — too many women have told me directly. Short guys are up to the challenge of making women fans of their size. Trust me.”
12. Roosevelt. Married. 5’8”.
“Remember when you told me about that woman who said that she didn’t need a tall man because she had a father to look up to? My wife told me something similar. She said that she thinks that a lot of women think that a tall man is a sign of protection, especially if they didn’t have a father while growing up. But because her dad is 5’7”, a military man and a marksman — she has never seen masculinity through height. I think the main thing that women miss out on when they refuse to even consider a shorter man is that a good man has nothing to do with if you can physically look up at him…it’s if you can respect how tall his character is. If that isn’t something that you care about, you’re not as ready for a relationship as you think you are.”
(Shellie here: WELP.)
_____
There you have it: 12 men who aren’t 6’, who are out here living their best life — because they know that height isn’t everything. Never has been. Never will be.
May we all take the hint.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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