Growing up I was a skinny minnie and an anemic. I vaguely remember the doctor prescribing this liquid form of iron and some Flintstone multivitamins so taking supplements were a crucial part of my childhood. It wasn't that I was a picky eater, though. I ate all of my meats, fruits and most vegetables – like what kid eats asparagus and brussels sprouts – and my family was all about that well-balanced meal life. But later, I assumed my food was lacking some nutrients because my folks' definition of "done" was deep-fried and overcooked.
As an adult living on my own, I made an effort to be more conscious of choosing and preparing foods that would maximize my nutrient intake so that I didn't have to rely on supplements. But somewhere in my 30s, I learned that sometimes our bodies still don't absorb enough nutrients due to age, limitations or certain health conditions that get a little selfish and consume what vitamins and nutrients we already have.
Take vitamin D, for example. According to Healthline, vitamin D is very difficult to get from diet alone, especially if you get infrequent sunlight and have dark skin. In fact, based on a 2011 study, 82.1% of African-Americans are vitamin D-deficient.
And do you know what else disproportionately affects African-Americans, specifically women? Fibroids. At age 38, I had an iron-deficiency so great from fibroids that I had to quickly increase my hemoglobin level before I underwent surgery if I wanted to avoid a blood transfusion midway through the procedure. Liver, spinach and all the medium-done steaks weren't going to do it.
Needless to say, my daily regimen during adulthood was tiny red iron tablets and Vitamin D gummies.
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I couldn't help but wonder a) how many Black women are taking at least vitamin D and iron supplements and b) what other vitamins do we lack and should be supplementing. I discovered that Black women may potentially be low on not only Vitamin D and iron but also vitamins A, B, C, E and K, calcium and folic acid. So I reached out to several women to inquire about their specific vitamin regimen, including two nutritionists, particularly to find out what vitamins Black women should absolutely have in their medicine cabinets.
I asked both Danielle Smiley-Daniel, a public health nutritionist and soon-to-be registered dietician nutritionist (RDN) based in the Hartford, CT, area, and plant-based public health specialist Chelsea Williams in Los Angeles for guidance. Danielle's immediate rule-of-thumb is food first and supplements second. Therefore, we shouldn't automatically turn to vitamins as an easy replacement.
"It would be ideal to get most of your vitamins and minerals from whole food sources but you cannot always do so," says Danielle. "I view supplements as a way to fill the gap with the nutrients your intake does not fulfill."
However, both women stress the importance of consulting with your primary care provider before implementing any vitamin and mineral supplement regimen. Popping a regular ole multivitamin or a sea moss capsule may seem harmless but they should be treated like any other prescribed medication that comes with a list of potential side effects, especially since some supplements can interfere with whatever you're already taking. It needs to be personalized to fit your current lifestyle and medical history.
"Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all supplement routine," Chelsea says. "This is due to individual health conditions – for example, pregnancy, anemia, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. Additionally, women [need] to be cognizant of any contraindications with any medications they may be taking, along with the proper dosage."
And even time of day. Some vitamins and supplements may need to be taken later in the day depending on what you're taking in the morning.
I chatted with six women – including Danielle the public health nutritionist – ranging in ages from 29 to 43 about what was in their vitamin cabinets. Their vitamins are mostly prescribed but some were added based on the women's own research. Here's what they take:
Disclaimer: xoNecole is in no way recommending adding any of the below mentioned vitamins. We are simply providing information as a way to enlighten and inform. Please consult your doctor before adding any supplements to your diet.
Martinique, 29
Courtesy of Martinique Swan
"I take Vitamin D3 for deficiency, biotin for hair, skin and nails, iron for anemia, black seed oil for adult asthma symptoms and my immune system, ashwagandha and CBD for anxiety and chlorella as a multivitamin since it's a superfood and has a lot of nutrients. I also take elderberry, zinc and sea moss for my immune system."
Krystal, 30
Courtesy of Krystal Layne
"I take vitamins C, D and D3 as well as iron and zinc. I started taking vitamin C and zinc to support my immune system. I didn't start taking vitamin D or D3 because I was deficient but my doctor did recommend it. I take vitamin D because I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Vitamin D is the sunlight vitamin that will increase my energy and mood. Vitamin D3 supports my immune system especially with COVID-19 and since I'm an essential worker. My doctor also recommended Vitamin D along with iron pills because I'm anemic. And I also take omega 3s for high cholesterol, oregano oil supplements for additional immune support and a Lydia Pinkham supplement for menstrual support."
Spencer, 33
Courtesy of Spencer St. Fleur
"I started taking vitamins to care for my overall health and wellness and provide the extra nutrition/nourishment that foods don't always provide since they're mostly overprocessed. I take multivitamins, vitamins C and D that my doctor prescribed, fish oil, black seed oil (three days per week since it's so terrible), sea moss gel, iron, zinc and probiotics for gut and feminine wellness."
Mia, 35
Courtesy of Mia Tatum
"I take supplements based on my own research and trial and error. I take ashwagandha for anxiety, astaxanthin for cognitive health, zinc for my immune system, a probiotic for gut health and B12 for energy. When I have PMS, I take Vitamin E because it helps a lot with breast tenderness. I also have a subscription to Care/of, which is convenient and offers a quiz you can take for recommendations."
Yemisi, 41
Courtesy of Yemisi Gisanrin
"My doctor recommended Vitamin D for bone health because my count was really low, folic acid for reproductive health and omega 3 for heart health and lower cholesterol."
Danielle, 43
Courtesy of Danielle Smiley-Daniel
"My supplement regimen includes Vitamin D to boost my immune system and maintain strong bones, probiotics to improve gut health and decrease gastrointestinal bloat and omega 3 to help prevent heart disease, stroke and cancer."
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I write about lifestyle and women's health and wellness. When I'm not in front of a computer screen crafting stories, I'm in a kitchen crafting cocktails. Follow me on the 'gram @teronda.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert