I make it no secret that when couples come to me for premarital counseling, I will apply the pressure, almost like I’m trying to break them up (if you are recently engaged, please go to premarital counseling or, at the very least, check out “276 questions to ask before marriage (or regret it later)”).
It’s not because I’m a hater (marriage is a beautiful thing and when done right, I am its biggest fan!); it’s that I have seen far too many people go into a marital union, having no clue what it’s real purpose is and/or how to know if their partner is truly the best complement for them — and then Elmo shrug it off like divorce is nothing more than a break-up between two people who were seriously dating each other.
Marriage is a covenant. Marriage is a business contract. Marriage is absolutely nothing to play with. And that’s why I actually have all of the respect in the world for those who have the courage to say, via their actions, that even if they got to the point of engagement (or shoot, even the night before the nuptials), if they see red flags — whether with their partner, the dynamic or within themselves — that they will pump the breaks. Because like I say, “It is far better to break up than to go through a divorce.” (Just ask any divorced person.)
So, let’s hear from some brave women who respected marriage enough to not play with it.
*Middle names are used here*
1. Sarai. 34. Ended a 10-Month Engagement Two Years Ago.
Giphy“I already know that women are waiting on me to rant about all of the things that he did wrong but actually, it was on me. At the time, I was trippin’ because so many of my friends were jumping the broom. So, I gave him an ultimatum after two years of dating that if he didn’t propose, I was going to end the relationship. Shellie, you know how you always say that ultimatums are threats? I used to not get that — oh, but I do now.
"If you’ve got to pressure a man to marry you, something isn’t right. I was miserable because I kept wondering if he really wanted to marry me and he was miserable because I went from pressuring him to get engaged to pressuring him to set a wedding date. I finally ended it so that we both could have peace. We didn’t speak for a year. We’re kind of rebuilding now. We’ll see.”
2. Raquel. 28. Ended a Five-Year Engagement One Year Ago.
“IT. DOES. NOT. TAKE. FIVE. YEARS. TO. GET. MARRIED. Let’s start there. I’ve read that if you wait longer than a couple of years to do it, you really don’t want to and there’s some truth to that. After some therapy and arguing with people like you [she means me, Shellie], I get that I think I just wanted the security of knowing that he wanted to marry me…someday. But after about 14 months of putting it off, I got a promotion that took priority and then he decided to totally switch career paths. And when an opportunity came up for him to relocate, he did and we tried the long-distance thing.
"Before we knew it, it was five years later and we were no closer to getting married than before. So, we ended it. Yes, it was mutual. No, there are no hard feelings. And next time, if I say ‘yes’ to someone, I’m gonna be his wife in under 12 months. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
3. Sophya. 29. Ended a Two-Year Engagement Five Months Ago.
“I’m selfish and he’s got too much growing up to do. We’ll both own it even if you ask him. I’m selfish because I honestly don’t care as much as I should about what he needs to be happy in a marriage. I mean, I’ll do what I feel like doing but I’m kind of inflexible beyond that. Always have been, I just think that there haven’t been enough consequences for my mindset…yet.
"He needs to grow, not because he’s immature but because there are a lot of things that he wants to do that I don’t want to compromise on — and I don’t think any woman does. Things that will cause finances to be inconsistent and affect his time at home to where a woman would have to make a lot of sacrifices."
"We ended on good terms. Maybe I’ll become more flexible and he’ll become more stable. For right now, we just want what’s best for each other and it’s not us.”
4. Wanda. 46. Ended a One-Month Engagement Almost Two Months Ago.
Giphy“I’m not sure what other stories you’ve heard but this might be the wildest one. I love my ex-fiancé. We’re actually still together. A lot of times, when people talk about ending an engagement, people break up but I’ve been married twice before and he’s been married once. He proposed on Christmas Eve in front of our friends and family because he thought that marriage is what I wanted.
"After two [of them], I’m not so sure and I didn’t want to give him or our families the impression that I was. So, I gave him the ring back, we agreed to take some steps back and…who knows? I don’t need the hoopla this time. I’m happy with the way things are and he honestly is too. Sometimes happy is enough.”
5. Averie. 30. Ended a 10-Year Engagement One Year Ago.
“Before women talk about how crazy it is to be engaged for 10 years, remember that I’m just now 30 which means we got engaged when I was 20 — actually 19. It was a real proposal although it started off with a promise ring and then a tiny engagement ring when I finished college and a bigger one at 26. We were long-distance and wanted to get our careers off of the ground before I relocated. Once I did, it was during the pandemic which forced us to get to know each other in a way that we never really had before.
"I get why so many divorces happened [during that time] because folks think they are in an intimate relationship but if you’re only having dinner together and watching an hour of TV before going to bed, you don’t really know each other at all. We love what we knew. We just didn’t know…enough.”
6. Ursula. 28. Ended a Five-Month Engagement Seven Years Ago.
“He cheated. Am I the only one with this story? He cheated with an ex. An ex who he told me he was over. I found out because she actually came to our engagement party and I saw them arguing outside. No, he didn’t invite her. She found out about it on social media and invited herself. But the fact that he was arguing with her instead of celebrating with me meant that I knew something was up.
"He admitted to sleeping with her right before proposing to me. He called it ‘getting closure,’ so even though I don’t give AF about her feelings, I get what she was so mad about. Anyway, needing to get someone out of your system right before asking for my hand means she’s still in your system. Good luck…but not really.”
7. Malynda. 31. Ended a One-Year Engagement Six Months Ago.
Giphy“Social media is a strange place, sis. I loved my ex-fiancé but there was always a part of me [that] felt like I would be settling if I went through with marrying him. Not because he wasn’t cute enough. Not because he wasn’t a good provider. Not because I don’t think we could’ve had a good life together. It’s just that there was someone in my past who I knew I would drop everything for in a heartbeat. So, when he hit me up to say that he was back in the country and wanted to give us another try — yep…guess what I did?
"People can say what they want but I’m happier than I’ve ever been and we’ve been discussing getting married around the end of the year.”
8. Shannon. 24. Ended a One-Year Engagement Two Weeks Ago.
“Anyone who plans on getting married should go to premarital counseling first. The break-up is still really fresh, so I don’t want to get too much into the details. I’ll just say that even though my fiancé and I passed [counseling sessions], when we thought about what it takes to not just say ‘unto death parts us’ but mean it, along with the biblical ramifications of not taking it seriously, we realized that we’re ready to love each other…just not commit for the long haul.”
Shellie here: Shannon gets all of my respect and never-ending applause for this. Also, as far as the Bible goes, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 19:1-12, and I Corinthians 7:10-11 are great places to start re: what Scripture says about marriage and divorce.
9. Toya. 40. Ended a Three-Year Engagement 18 Months Ago.
“I guess the best way to define us is we were the friends who said that if we weren’t married by 40, we’d marry each other. Yes, I said that at almost 37, and yes, we stayed engaged for three years. I guess the best way to explain it is we used that time to see if we were feelin’ each other beyond the strong friendship love that we had. Yes and no. We had sex and it was good. Our families always wanted us together. He felt like a safety net.
"But I don’t want ‘safe’ love. I want full love. Funny thing is, I attended his wedding four months ago and he’s overjoyed. I believe you should marry a friend but not just a friend. I know all of what I need now.”
10. Brea. 27. Ended a Six-Month Engagement Two Months Ago.
Giphy“My ring was fake. I don’t know what else to tell you. The rock was huge and I was hype. I went to get it appraised to prove to some of my what-I-thought-were-hater friends wrong because they didn’t get how a UPS guy could afford a ring with 2.5 carats. When I confronted him, he didn’t even try to hide it. He said that it didn’t make sense to spend all of that money on an engagement ring if we were saving up for a house. I don’t know if the lie or the ring pisses me off more. I just know that if he was never going to tell me that, he could be hiding other stuff. I’m good. Not really but I’m getting there.”
11. Xia. 32. Ended a Five-Year Engagement Four Years Ago.
“Now that I’m married to who I’m with, I’m so glad that it didn’t work out with my ex. I don’t want to put all of our business out in the street because it’s in the past but what I will say is if you’re taking more than a year to get down the aisle, there is something telling you to wait and you should listen."
"Every year that you put off means you’re not ready, even if it’s just with your finances. Being engaged means you’re ready to get married, so there’s no need to drag your feet.”
12. Imani. 40. Ended a Three-Year Engagement Three Years Ago.
“I always wanted to be married…but I wasn’t really sure why. And when the pastor asked me, I drew a blank. So, I pushed the wedding date back while my ex patiently waited and I still couldn’t come up with my ‘why.’ I think I just thought that being a wife and mom are things that women are supposed to do. Three years later, I don’t think I want to get married. I respect it too much to not take it seriously and being single out here has all kinds of benefits. I like weddings — just more as a guest. I feel peaceful in that place.”
_____
There you have it, y’all. Just like no marriage is a monolith neither are the reasons why engagements end. If you’re single, hopefully, this will give you a lot to think about. If you’re engaged and see yourself at all, hopefully, you’ll also find the courage to push pause. Because until you’re married, you are still your top priority. So, if marriage is not for you yet, for whatever the reason, be okay with choosing what is — starting with yourself. Full stop and no apologies.
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Featured image by Jelena Stanojkovic/Getty Images
- Taraji P. Henson Calls Off Her Engagement: ‘My Happiness Is Not His Responsibility' ›
- This Is Why I Have Mad Respect For People Who Break Off Their Engagements ›
- 8 Very Valid Reasons To Break Off Your Engagement ›
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Featured image by Anchiy/Getty Images
We landed in Lyon on Thursday before heading to Strasbourg and were instantly charmed by the classic French façades and smiley locals. We had an amazing first night enjoying the Festival of Lights all through the city.
Fresh off an amazing first evening, we headed to Strasbourg on Friday in a BlaBlaCar (a ride-share system in Europe) with two friendly local women who gave us tons of expert recommendations on what to do, see, and eat in Strasbourg.
They dropped us off in the center, and our faces lit up. The town was decked out in Christmas decor from head to toe, and the streets were buzzing with folks clambering around stalls selling Christmas decorations, hot drinks, and other artisan knick-knacks. They don’t call it Europe’s Christmas Capital for nothing!
We rushed to our Airbnb to put our bags down and start exploring, and that’s when everything went south.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite
I always check my lodgings before settling in because I’ve walked into hotel rooms that haven’t properly been cleaned or other situations where I haven’t felt safe enough to stay.
So we looked around the Airbnb to make sure everything was okay when I heard my friend say, “I see something moving on the sheets.” “Are you messing with me?” I responded.
I double-checked, and my heart sank. “I see it too, fuck.”
“There’s another one on this side, too.”
“Damn,” I said, “I just spotted a third.”
“We can’t stay here.” We grabbed all of our stuff and ran for the nearest cafe to strategize where we were going to stay. Only one major problem: Everything in town was booked.
Enrique, Our Christmas Angel
We looked all around Strasbourg and even at nearby towns and villages. Booked. Booked. Booked. We even started considering taking a train to a nearby town in Switzerland or Germany, which had affordable lodgings available and were only about one hour away by train.
But we still had a bus back to Lyon early Sunday morning to consider and felt going to another country would derail our whole trip to see the Christmas Capital of Europe.
I checked Booking.com for just one night instead of two, and there were three options. But every time I’d make a booking it would immediately cancel because they weren’t ACTUALLY available. Now I had over $1K in holds on my account and nowhere to stay when finally our last attempt went through.
Phew! “At least we have somewhere to stay tonight, and we can figure out what to do about tomorrow.”
We showed up at the hotel to hear the receptionist getting an ear-shattering lashing from a livid guest. Needless to say, Enrique looked like he was having a worse evening than we were.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
When we tried to check in, he said, “I’m sorry, but that booking shouldn’t have gone through on Booking.com. We are full.” I wished I was one of those people who could go into a rage. I wished I could throw an adult tantrum until I got my way, but I’ve never been capable of raising my voice. And I was one more round of bad news away from tears.
“Please, sir, we are in a desperate situation. We are two young women with nowhere to stay tonight. Our Airbnb was canceled, it’s close to freezing temperatures outside, and if we don’t figure something out, we are going to sleep on that bench outside. If there’s anything you can do, we would really appreciate it.”
He melted, “Okay, let me see what I can do.”
It took hours. And as each minute passed, even our options of going to Switzerland or Germany were off the table. The last trains had left.
We heard him clacking away on the computer between stressed sighs, and I hoped he would at least be kind enough to let us sit in the lobby all night where it was warm.
Close to midnight, he came over with two mugs of warm cocoa and cookies, and said, “I have a room for you.” I felt so much relief the tears just started rolling down my face.
Gratitude (And Hot Wine) Is The Best Medicine
The next morning, we tried to make the best of it. Between calls to our host and Airbnb customer service, it felt like our minds were still tied up in resolving our situation.
But we were still alive and well. We were fortunate to have had the money to resolve the situation even after multiple holds. And we were so grateful for Enrique’s kindness.
We just wanted to shake it off and enjoy our girls’ trip.
We took a train to Colmar as we had originally planned. The town and its nearby villages inspired the village in Beauty and the Beast, and there was a Christmas market down every quaint, cobblestoned street. It was hard to continue sulking while surrounded by so much Christmas cheer. (The multiple cups of mulled wine didn’t hurt either.)
After a few hours, we returned to Strasbourg to check out the Christmas markets. With no lodgings available in the city, we decided to take an overnight bus back to Lyon and cut our trip short.
It Got Worse Before It Got Better
More back-and-forth calls to our host and Airbnb, getting soaked at a bus station with no indoor waiting area, freezing temperatures, delayed buses, and midnight bus transfers where the only thing open for shelter was a rock and roll bar and rats. Trust and believe we were ready to go home!
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Life Is A Box Of Chocolates But It’s Also What You Make It
There were so many times on this trip that I just broke out into hysterical laughter because, with all the chaos of the trip, I was left thinking, what is this a sitcom? Did I somehow end up on the set of Eurotrip 2? Am I really in a rock and roll bar at 1 a.m. singing "Wonderwall" by Oasis in exchange for shelter?
But with every round of setbacks comes an opportunity for reflection, and here are mine:
1. Airbnb might not be the best choice during busy times, especially in smaller cities with fewer options. While we selected accommodations with a Super Host and everyone was responsive, it took three days to initiate a refund, it will take longer to hit my account, and they didn’t necessarily help find us other accommodations. At least with a hotel, there is someone onsite to help you immediately.
2. Always, and I mean always, have wiggle room in your budget or credit cards for things to go wrong. If we had waited for Airbnb to find us a solution, we could’ve been stranded for days. I joked that 25-year-old me would’ve just had the energy to party for two days straight and not sleep, but I was so grateful 31-year-old me had the money to make sure I was safe and could get a good night’s rest.
3. Strasbourg was ripping at the seams with tourists visiting the markets. You could barely get through the markets without standing in a pedestrian traffic jam—even with the rain! It felt like being at an American theme park during spring break.
If I had to do it again, I would fly into Switzerland, rent a car, and drive into Strasbourg in the middle of the week instead of a weekend. Then you could also take time to see the Christmas markets in nearby villages, which I thought were less crowded, more enjoyable, and so adorable.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
You Catch More Flies With Honey
While previously in my story, I wished I could go into a rage on everyone, like the woman at reception, I think kindness, being respectful, and keeping a cool head saved us.
Enrique could’ve turned us away. The Airbnb host initially suggested we were wrong and that it was a different kind of bug we found, not bed bugs. She is a Super Host, and this is her business. She could get shut down, and I get that. But we had no incentive to fabricate this.
In both situations, we remained respectful, expressed ourselves calmly, and reinforced what we wanted. And in both situations, we were able to get the resolution we needed.
So, if you’re also the kind of person who struggles to raise your voice and feels that sometimes makes you feel unheard, this is your reminder (and mine) that softness is powerful too.
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Feature image courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Originally published on December 25, 2023