Woman Who Had Feet Washed By Essence Atkins: "She's Anointed"
When Allison Person walked into work last week, the last thing that she was expecting was that a selfless act of kindness would have her in tears. She didn't expect that a brief moment would turn into a memory of a lifetime, nor that through her the message on the importance serving others would be shared with the world.
In fact, as soon as she stepped into the door to begin her daily duties as Promotions Coordinator at Radio One, she was ready and anxious to clock out. It was a morning where she just wasn't feeling the vibe of the day, and after a fellow coworker proposed the idea of a foot bath as part of a skit promoting the stageplay Things Your Man Won't Do starring Essence Atkins, Allen Payne, and Tony grant, Person was ready to run out the door.
But things took an unexpected turn for the better when actress Essence Atkins (Deliver Us From Eva, Half & Half, Smart Guy) decided to take part in the skit. As the promo coordinator at her station, Allison was used to serving the many celebrities that would stop by to discuss upcoming projects. But that day she found herself at the mercy of loving hands as Atkins bent down to wash her feet--an act of humility that was recorded in what would later become a viral video.
When I talked to Allison about the experience, I wanted to know why her? Person initially laughs as part of her response and takes a moment to reflect on it all, a day she says she'll never forget. She follows up believing it was an act of reciprocation from God with her delving into a story about her own acts of service on a daily basis at work.
Walk us through The 'Things Your Man Won't Do' event
We did a Meet & Greet of the cast of a play called Things Your Man Won’t Do created by Je’Caryous Johnson. The cast came and we had a lot of listeners, and it was actually my co-worker, Myron "Magic" Gigger's idea to kind of take it to another level and do things different. He wanted to put on a skit of things your man won’t do, and his idea was to do a foot bath. What people didn’t know was that my foot was actually in a boot because I had a minor foot surgery. I said “Magic, I cannot do this with this ugly boot on my foot” and I was really reluctant like, I’m not down for the cause. But I went on ahead and did it. That’s where it came from.
It started out with Leon Robinson playing a role in it, and Allen Payne and Tony Grant who are actors in the play. Essence, who really wasn’t involved in the skit, I guess, felt compelled by the spirit to take it to another level. None of us were really expecting it. Before I knew it, she was rolling up her sleeves and taking off her jewelry and she said, “I have something I want to say.” I could see by the way she was moving, I thought, "Oh Lord, I ain’t really ready” and she just went into it.
As you could see from the video, my heart was just so full of joy and it was such a selfless act. It was even greater being that it came from someone of her stature. It would still be great if it were from someone I didn’t know or a friend, but someone who wasn’t doing it for the video or accolades, she was doing it because she was being obedient to the spirit of God. It was absolutely a joyful moment.
Do you know why she chose you in particular?
I have no idea. If I had to give an idea, I’m a natural servant and when we have guests come to the radio station, I like to serve them and give them that VIP experience. It’s just little things I like to do that make their experience a little bit better, such as when we have food, I don’t let them get up to throw their food away. I like to grab their plate. So, I’m thinking maybe she saw me working and in that boot, and she’s like this girl is getting it. That’s just me.
[Tweet "I don't do it for the accolades; it's my job!"]
I was once a listener and I still want to give our guests what I would want when I was the average listener.
Tell me about your reaction prior to Essence doing the foot bath and the moment when she did it and it was caught on camera.
I’m going to be transparent and say I was having a rough day. In my head, I’m thinking, "Can we wrap this up because I’m not feeling it?" Again, I was really reluctant when my co-worker brought the idea to me and even in that moment right before she started I was laughing, but I wanted to get it all done. When she did it, I kind of became numb and all I could do was just cry because my heart just filled immediately. It wasn’t gradual.
"It just feels so amazing how God can take you out of yourself and make you realize it ain’t always about you."
When she did it, my mindset obviously changed and because my co-workers were recording it, I allowed myself to be free and vulnerable in that moment as the Holy Spirit compelled her to do what she did. Who am I to stop that? It’s about God; it’s not about Allison Person. I’m so humble because I’m like, here I was in a bad mood, upset about nothing when I look back at it, and here I was about to stop the process and His will. I’m honored. I’m not perfect and we all have our days and that just was not my day.
When Essence started speaking–and she speaks with so much power–you can tell she’s anointed. She just let it flow and she’s such a beautiful spirit.
I spoke with her afterwards and told her, "You really just blessed my socks off, for real." I just thought it was going to be some little skit and I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
What were your thoughts seeing yourself on a viral video?
My first reaction was thank God it’s something good and something glorifying your name [laughs]. It could’ve been much different. It’s mind blowing. I have people from high school, middle school, elementary school saying things. When I saw it on xoNecole and then VIBE picked it up and Shade Room, it was crazy. I’m just a young adult in Riverdale, Georgia that most folks don’t know about. At the end of the day, it’s not about me at all. It’s not even about Essence; it’s about an act of God being done.
Hopefully through that exposure, people can take that same act and it’s not about getting down and washing everybody’s feet. It’s not about that, but metaphorically, how are you washing somebody’s feet? It’s not about me, but the message being sent out to the masses. My prayer is that people see the message. There were people like why did she have to go and wash her feet? Let’s step outside of that and see it for what it is–it’s about serving. That’s what Jesus did. How are we serving one another?
If we, especially women–Black women–take a little bit of time to empower our sisters and serve them a little bit more, we probably wouldn’t have all this negativity coming towards us, the stereotypes and the drama. It would be a lot more loving, even in the world. If we just learn to love one another, things would be a lot different.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images