

I have worked at some of the largest corporations in America. I have also worked at some of the best law firms in this country. By most accounts, I would be considered "successful".
For the most part, I felt prepared to work in corporate America, but I must say, I was not prepared to feel some of the inadequacies, loneliness, and - if I'm keeping it all the way 100 - anger that I felt while working in predominantly White corporate environments. I mean, after all, I was basically told my entire life that as long as I worked twice as hard as everyone else, I would do well and climb the corporate ladder. But what I have concluded is that working twice as hard doesn't work and we should stop giving out that advice.
Growing up, I was told, "You have to work twice as hard to get half," or "You need to make sure you don't make mistakes," or better yet, "Never let them see you sweat, cry, or look weak." But after looking at the abysmal numbers of Blacks in the C-Suite, I have concluded that although working twice as hard might help select individuals gain success, bearing the burden of the "twice as hard" mentality has not helped increase the numbers of Blacks at the top of the corporate ladder. So, I think it's time that we start giving out different advice -- work hard and if your company doesn't appreciate you, learn all you can, and then strategically position yourself to own your own company or at a minimum, leave that company.
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Numbers don't lie, and we are still underrepresented in almost every major professional field, but the numbers of Black professionals are particularly dismal in the STEM, legal, and medical professions.
Why? Simple. Many of the organizations in which we work were never built with us in mind – not us as Black professionals anyways. Many of us work in corporations, firms, and organizations that started at a time when Blacks and Whites couldn't share a bathroom - let alone an office space. So, it is no wonder that no matter how hard you work as a Black professional, it is possible that you may still be undervalued, underpaid, and overlooked.
Could this be fixed? Here's the thing, if organizations really wanted true diversity, where racially diverse professionals felt valued and free to be themselves, they could obtain that. But in order to effectuate the change companies need to put in place systems by which individual bad behavior could be policed; real systems that punish things like implicit bias, racist remarks from superiors, and inequitable reviews across professionals of different races. But, until organizations put these systems in place and punish those that perpetuate inequality within these organizations, there will never be true racial diversity.
So what's our takeaway? We will never have power if we are seeking it from organizations that were never built with us in mind. Our power is found in knowing who we are absent the approval of unjust systems.
Instead of teaching our kids to work twice as hard to seek the approval of people and companies that simply don't know how to appreciate and respect Black brilliance, let's start teaching our kids that racist systems will never be able to fully value them because many were never built with them in mind, but they are exceptional whether it's recognized or not.
Consider this, if I built my house for people that are three feet tall, could a man that was five feet tall enter my house? Maybe, but it would be uncomfortable and after a while, he would have to leave. Why? Because he would start experiencing pain from being in an environment that was not built for him. Where would he go? Well, probably back to his own home.
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We need to find our own homes.
So, are we helpless? Absolutely not. Find your voice. Believe in yourself. Get centered and ask for wisdom in navigating systems that were never truly built for you in the first place. And, if you want to dominate those systems and organizations, you can, but there's a cost that you have to be willing to pay. Nothing's free.
Here's what I don't think some people understand: when you are Black and every single day you walk into a company where the only other Blacks you see are working in service positions, and not as your professional peers, it weighs on you in a way that is often not discussed. It tells you that you are an anomaly, but overall your people aren't "good enough" to do this job, and, if I am being all the way real, the implication is really that maybe you aren't good enough either.
Before owning my own firm, I remember making a conscious effort, daily, not to internalize the subliminal messages that a predominately White workspace spews out, but it was not easy. And to work in that type of an environment for a certain amount of time requires you to sacrifice a piece of yourself that I am not sure many are willing to sacrifice. What piece? Your voice.
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You are expected to be grateful for a seat at the table, but you are often not invited to talk.
God forbid you want to call out racism or inequality – it can impair your chances of rising to the top. We need to prepare Black professionals early for the very real battles they will face when working in systems that were built at a time when Blacks were only expected to do one thing: serve and service White folks.
At some point, we have to expect greater and not entrust our worth to unjust systems. I learned this the hard way, but in 2018, I left my close to $300,000 a year cushy corporate law firm job to open my own law firm, Mobile General Counsel, which helps entrepreneurs to legally protect their businesses with trademarks and contracts. I also provide gender, generational, and racial diversity trainings to corporations and colleges across the country. The fact that I've been able to help dozens of minority-owned companies is a major plus of my new path, especially since while working for large Chicago-based law firms, none of my corporate clients were Black-owned.
Even though I left corporate America to be an entrepreneur, I don't think we should have to choose between a hostile corporate work environment or entrepreneurship. Companies should work harder to make all employees feel valued, but until they do, don't you worry, know this:
Your brilliance is beyond measure. Your swag stays on one million and despite what your colleagues, superiors, and peers may tell you, you can do anything that you put your mind to.
In case no one has told you today, you are valuable. You are doing a great job. You matter. The world needs your voice. Your ideas are earth shattering and your presence is felt.
If no one else has said this to you, hear it from me, I respect you and I hope that you keep your head up and eyes on the big picture when working while black.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally published March 8, 2019
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Ashley Kirkwood, the self-proclaimed "lit lawyer," is a Northwestern University School of Law graduate, TEDx speaker, and founder of Mobile General Counsel, the trademark focused law firm for entrepreneurs and growing businesses. She also hosts The Currency of Confidence - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to level up your confidence so you can demand what you want out of life. Even though she's a lawyer, she teaches entrepreneurs how to do their own legal work through her fun classes, such as Clapback With Contracts and Get The Tea On Trademarks. Connect with her on Instagram @theashleynicoleshow or @mobilgeneralcounsel. If you want some free legal tips for your business, text 66866 to join Ashley's mailing list!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by Igor Alecsander/Getty Images
Originally published on February 6, 2025