

From webisodes to episodes--the sky is the limit for young director Issa Rae.
After a year of waiting Insecure is back so fans of everyone's favorite Awkward Black Girl,Issa Rae, can finally rejoice! For those that are living under a rock (seriously why haven't you seen Insecure?), the series is loosely based on Issa's own life, where she stars as a young woman on the verge of 30, that deals with the stress of everyday life and being a late 20-something who doesn't quite have it all, but hasn't completely given up on life either.
The satirical comedy also stars the handsome Jay Ellis as "Lawrence," Issa's somewhat emo and unemployed man (or ex man, the way the finale was set up - the verdict is still out on that one) who is also struggling to figure it all out, while Orji plays Molly--her bestie who has scored major success in her career, but has missed the mark in the love department. 30 year old Issa, both stars and executive produces Insecure, with the assist of producers Prentice Penny and Larry Wilmore.
In a short time Insecure has taken off, prompting everyone to add "issa" to everything (issa bae aka it's a bae). My awkward-sister-in-spirit has gone on to do great things and become an overnight success in only half the time (because we all know it takes 10 years to be an “overnight" success, let's be real).
Issa was a woman that got her first taste of viral fame in the digital space, from creating the show The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl back in early 2011. The comedy web series showed exclusively on Youtube and featured Issa as "Jay," a young woman with a mediocre job who falls somewhat victim to the discomfort that comes with often being one of the few Black girls in her work and social settings. The girl who loved bumping trap music on her way to the club, but most likely won't dance once she gets there. And although it was 100% acting, it was more "real" than most reality TV. ABG was so refreshing to me mainly because of its ability to highlight the life of the Black, introverted female who is somewhat socially awkward, but more “popular" in existence than most media portrayals of us would lead you to believe.
Issa's ability to include an element of dark-humor (no pun intended) to the real life scenarios in ABG was no surprise though. This is someone whose gone on record to say that her in television and film ranges in everything from Boyz in the Hood to Girlfriends.
So fast forward nearly two years later, Insecure had been promoted from production-purgatory to Sunday night. Granted it didn't come easy, but it came fairly quick! Issa revealed in a recent New York Timesarticle that the delays were very much so creative and conceptual based. They were trying to erase the "Black" in the girl that made the show! In her NYT article, the interviewer reveals:
"Rae recalls a phone conversation with a network executive who wanted to make it into a pan-racial franchise operation, starting with ''Awkward Indian Boy.'' Another suggested Rae recast the lead with a lighter-skinned actress with long, straight hair — in essence, the exact opposite of Rae. She turned down the offers."
She also revealed that back in 2012, just over a year into the rapid fame of becoming a Youtube sensation, she caught the attention of Scandal and Grey's Anatomy producer, Shonda Rhimes, but fell short of bringing the project into fruition due to creative differences.
"I compromised my vision, and it didn't end up the show that I wanted. 'It wasn't funny anymore.''
Issa went on to propose the question in her autobiogrphy:
''How hard is it to portray a three-dimensional woman of color on television or in film? I'm surrounded by them. They're my friends. I talk to them every day. How come Hollywood won't acknowledge us? Are we a joke to them?''
So it's crazy to think that three years later, Issa would be sharing the cover of Essence with Shonda as the youngest of five deemed "The Game Changers" of Hollywood.
And as for Insecure, after all the efforts from one too many hands to reroute and rewrite the script, the HBO show snagged a leading cast of all Black, up-and-coming talent.
To say the least, I was proud of Issa.
I am proud of Issa.
As a girl born in the Bronx and raised in Florida, I remember back in 2011 moving back to New York- Washington Heights to be exact- to follow my own dreams. Back then, I couldn't afford cable, so I would hijack my neighbor's wifi in my apartment building, in order to stream my Netflix and use the internet. It was then that I stumbled upon Issa's Awkward Black Girl series on Youtube. The web-series craze was at an all time high.
[Tweet "What I loved about Issa Rae's show is, it depicted Black 'Middle Class' angst and I could relate."]
Middle class angst is something many of use could relate to, contrary to the ethical and economical biased Black women are often subjected to by way of Hollywood stereotyping. I was drawn in to the show automatically and it was an escape from my own very humble style of living (plus it was $Free.99 to watch)!
I watched Issa's first show gain momentum, go viral, and catch the attention of producer Pharrell Williams, who would later place the show on his verified "IAmOther" Youtube channel. I knew then that this 20-something sensation had officially made it once she was rubbing elbows with the likes of a Pharrell and them. Plus it's Skateboard P--he felt like the “safe" bet and he gets it. He's Black. He's quirky. He won't compromise this (at least I hoped)!
I would later go on to watch Issa do her major interviews that come with the fame, press appearances, book deals, etc. Before the premiere of Insecure, I heard about it coming to HBO but very little updates had been released after that. Now I know it's because of her willingness to stand firm in her vision, which I can appreciate.
It wouldn't be until I'd read in Issa's book, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, that she too actually moved to New York from California after graduating from Stanford University back in 2007. And like me, Issa once lived in the same neighborhood I did (Washington Heights), where she went through a slight stint of hopelessness. Her small New York apartment had been broken into and Issa had been robbed of the little bit of everything she did have--including her laptops, tapes and video treatment for a “mockumentary" she had been designing to pitch to Viacom. However, she managed to push through the frustration and began documenting her anti-social woes that came with living in a hyper social atmosphere such as New York city and voilà--Awkward Black Girl was born. And then, Insecure.
For Issa Rae, there's been more wins than setbacks, and we've been with her every step of the way. We've watched her take destiny into her own hands with the launch of her YouTube channel, turn down major deals, and fight to make her voice heard in an industry that attempts to silence us. And although it's been a long time coming for the production of her pilot show, the digital pioneer is finally getting her chance to shine. This isn't just a win for her, but a win for us all, because her success will open more doors for the many young black creatives who are producing compelling youtube content in their backyards.
I'm personally rooting for her from the privacy of my bedroom. And I won't need to hijack my neighbor's wifi to watch Issa do her thing, because this time around, the "evolution" is televised.
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
This Is What It Really Means To Heal Your Relationship With Money
Riddle me this: If money were your partner, what kind of relationship would you be in?
Would the relationship be one that's supportive and secure? Would it be built on things like trust and mutual respect? Or would it be more like a rollercoaster, varying between hot and cold, stressful, ridden with anxiety and insecurity? For a lot of us, the parallels might be parallel-ing, as the relationship we have with money mirrors some of the same unhealthy patterns we’ve had in romantic ones: fear of abandonment, emotional avoidance, lack of boundaries, or the belief that we have to earn our rest, ease, or abundance.
Now, I've read enough of The Psychology of Money to know that our relationship with money is an emotional one. So, it's not just about what you make or how you spend, it's about how money makes you feel. And like any relationship in your life, if you're not paying attention to the emotional patterns controlling your reality, money can quickly become a source of shame, anxiety, stress, or self-sabotage. This is why healing your relationship with money has to start within.
That's something Sasha Suresh knows firsthand. As the founder of Jolii Cosmetics and Full Ritúal, an award-winning wellness brand, she’s built a 7-figure business rooted in soulful alignment, intention, and yes, financial abundance. But it didn’t begin there. Now through her 1:1 coaching and signature course The Million Mastery Method, Sasha teaches women how to rewrite their money stories, shift out of survival mode, and reclaim their power.
“There have been key moments when I realized that money wasn’t just about numbers,” she shares. “It was deeply connected to how I saw myself.”
For Sasha, that turning point was recognizing how financial anxiety was showing up as a mismatch between the value she created and what she believed she deserved to receive. “I also saw that the more money I made, the more fear I had about losing it all and the need to be wanting more and more. This recognition marked the beginning of my journey to heal and redefine my relationship with money because money is essentially just energy and should be viewed as just that. Money is the means for us to do other things and it is not the end all be all.”
Unpacking What's Holding You Back
A lot of us are carrying hidden beliefs about money we don’t even realize we’re repeating. These money beliefs might sound like:
- “Money is hard to come by.”
- “More money means more problems”
- “I’m not good with money.”
- “I'll be paying back this debt forever.”
- “I’ll never make more money.”
And while some of those beliefs may seem harmless or even rational depending on your financial situation, Sasha explains these are signs of unhealed money wounds. “There are so many signs indicating an unhealthy relationship with money and most of the time these go unnoticed because we’re so conditioned to see them as the norm and they’re a part of us,” she says. “I used to have major financial anxiety where even small financial decisions would cause me stress or I would be swiping my cards like there was no end to it. There was no in-between. My financial decisions were dependent on my emotions which can be very detrimental in the long run.”
She continues, “The tendency to undercharge for your services or accept a lower pay than what you truly deserve is a sign that your inner narrative about worth is still catching up with your actual value. And the most common of all might be avoidance – steering clear of detailed money management because it brings up old, unresolved feelings.”
At the root of it all? An unhealthy relationship with money and a nervous system that had learned to equate money with fear.
Where It All Begins
Oftentimes, our relationship with money is shaped long before we ever earn our first paycheck. In fact, our relationship with money tends to mirror what we saw while growing up from our parents or what we've experienced through societal conditioning. “If you grew up in a home where money was a source of stress or secrecy, you might carry invisible beliefs like ‘I need to suffer before I can succeed’ or ‘My value is tied to how much I earn,’” Sasha says.
She notes that many of us have internalized the idea that wealth must come through sacrifice, hustle, or even through compromising our morals. In some communities and cultures, money can even be viewed as a source of corruption.
“This conditioning often leads to cycles of overworking, guilt when money flows effortlessly, or self-sabotage to return to the 'comfort' of scarcity. We’re taught that success must be earned through hardship, so you might dismiss opportunities that feel joyful or aligned as 'not real work,'” she explains. “These narratives can create subconscious resistance to abundance, where earning more triggers guilt rather than celebration.”
Healing Your Money Wounds
Healing your relationship with money isn’t about making dramatic shifts overnight. It's about becoming aware of your wounds, knowledgeable of your patterns, and living a life more aligned with a different belief system that is rooted in feeling worthy, feeling safe, and allowing flow.
Below, Sasha shares some of the most common money blocks she sees in her coaching work, and how to begin healing them:
1. Scarcity Thinking
One of the biggest blocks to abundance is the belief that "there's never enough." A scarcity mindset creates a loop of anxiety that leads to clinging to every dollar like it's your last, rejecting opportunities even when there's alignment, or constantly feeling like you're behind in life even though you're right on time. “Your scarcity script writes your reality,” she explains. “If you narrate limitations, your world shrinks to match exactly that.”
She encourages shifting this mindset by asking yourself: What if I acted like abundance is already here? Making aligned decisions from that place can be transformative.
2. Fear of Success or Rejection
Sometimes, the fear isn’t about failing, it’s about what might happen if you succeed. You may wonder if more money will change how others perceive you, or worry that you’ll lose yourself in the process. “This fear often manifests as procrastination, undercharging, or downplaying wins,” she says. A helpful shift is to start celebrating through what Sasha calls “micro-victories.” “Each celebration rewires your nervous system to associate success with safety, not threat.”
3. Undervaluing Yourself
If you constantly discount your services or avoid negotiating your worth, that’s usually tied to deeper beliefs around not being deserving. “If you don’t feel deserving, you’ll leak wealth everywhere—discounting services, tolerating underpayment, or avoiding negotiations,” Sasha echoes.
“Your self-image becomes your financial ceiling,” she explains. She recommends tuning into where your resistance is coming from. Try writing “I am worthy of abundance” ten times slowly, really feeling each word. Notice what emotions or discomfort come up. That’s where your work begins. As Sasha says, this is where your inner narrative about worth can catch up to your actual value.
4. Emotional Avoidance
If you're prone to avoiding money altogether, i.e. skipping bills, ignoring your budget, avoiding your bank account balance, or pushing off conversations about finances altogether, these could be signs of deeper unresolved feelings or shame.
To begin healing, Sasha suggests starting small and approaching money from a place of compassion rather than resentment. Acknowledging your finances through intentional money management, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, is a powerful first step toward creating a better relationship with money.
How Healing Your Money Mindset Creates Space for Growth
Healing your relationship with money doesn’t just change how you manage it, it changes how you show up. Sasha knows this shift well. As a wellness founder and the creator of the Million Mastery Method, her business began to grow in new ways when she did the internal work around her money story.
“When you begin to see money as a tool rather than a source of anxiety, your decision-making improves. This is exactly what happened for me in my business – as I shed my limiting beliefs around money, I became more authentic in my interactions with clients and partners,” she says. That clarity translated to more ease, more aligned clients, and more income, without the burnout or over-giving she once defaulted to.
“When you’re not battling internal money anxieties, you have more mental and emotional energy to dedicate to creative and strategic endeavors. This increased focus opened so many doors for me without me chasing them,” Sasha explains. “With a healed money mindset, setbacks become lessons rather than confirmations of scarcity. You’re more resilient and adaptive, which is essential for long-term business success. Your business starts to feel like an authentic extension of who you are, leading to a deeper sense of fulfillment and sustainable growth.”
So, Where Do You Begin?
According to Sasha, the first step in healing your relationship with money doesn’t begin in your bank account, it starts in your body. It's about shifting the way you feel about money before you ever shift the actual numbers. “Start by envisioning and feeling what financial abundance looks and feels like, and let that inner truth lead you in making decisions,” she says. That vision can be as simple as imagining yourself feeling safe while checking your bank account, confidently setting your rates for your services, or tipping without hesitation.
These small but powerful acts create new emotional pathways that support the idea that money is not something to fear, instead it’s something you can trust yourself to handle. “When you align your inner world with the abundance you desire, every single aspect of your life changes,” Sasha explains. “From the way you price your services to the opportunities you attract.”
Anything worth having doesn't come easy, and that goes double when it comes to inner alignment and getting your relationship with your money right. Sasha is honest about this and the discomfort that sometimes arises as we heal, our money wounds included. “Things will get uncomfortable and may not come to you naturally,” she says, “but just know that getting to the other side of your fear, self-sabotage, and anxiety means you’ve reached your desired state—which is a state of ease, flow, and abundance.”
That’s what financial healing really is: a reclamation of your sense of safety, your self-worth, and self-trust. It’s a recommitment to self-belief. When you start showing up as the version of yourself who believes she is worthy of wealth, aligned decisions and opportunities begin to follow. You no longer have to force abundance, it starts to meet you where you are because you already are.
“Embrace this inner transformation,” Sasha encourages, “and you'll find that financial healing becomes a natural extension of your newfound self-belief.”
Money, after all, isn’t inherently good or bad. “It’s energy that reflects your boundaries, your self-worth, and your vision,” she reminds us. “You don’t have to choose between wealth and integrity. When you align money with your mission, you step into your power.”
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by blackCAT/Getty Images