Picture this. It was a beautiful summer night near the water. He held her close as he gazed into her eyes. She stroked his face before leaning into his kiss. That night, they fell in love. Or did they? While the idea that the couple was destined to fall for each other is enchanting, chances are there are other reasons for human attraction (feelings of falling in love). And some are quite interesting.
As it turns out, the reasons people fall for one another may have less to do with destiny and more to do with biological, psychological, and environmental factors such as attraction, timing, and...owning a dog?
1.Ring by spring. Love forecast.
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Is it possible for warm weather (read: springtime) to have an affect on your love life? Some say yes. A recent blog post shared research from neuroscientists who claim that springtime is the best season for a new relationship to bloom. Naturally, as the days get longer, skirts get shorter, meaning not much is left to the imagination in the fashion department. People wear less clothes and thus, sexual attraction/desires increase. Have you ever noticed that more than flowers bloom in the spring? Online dating app, Zoosk, compared data from ten major cities to see how changes in the weather affected their users.
2.Sex, passion, and physical touch.
Listen, you had me at sex. Not that we actually needed science to tell us that sex produces feelings of love, but as it turns out, there actually is science to support this claim. Well, kinda. Our bodies churn out chemical messengers known as pheromones when we are in close proximity to one another. Therefore, physical contact where there is an exchange of bodily fluids such as sweat or saliva is present manufactures these chemicals. Additionally, sex produces oxytocin, commonly referred to as the love hormone during orgasm and replicates feelings of love but is more likely creating an attachment than actual love.
3.Kissing.
While this may seem obvious, there's actually a more biological reason why kissing increases attraction. Male saliva contains trace amounts of testosterone which can boost the sex drive of a woman. Additionally, evolutionary scientists believe women can detect genetic compounds that are essential for the immune system and will increase their chances of having healthy children. Now if that's not a good reason to spark a makeout session, then I don't know what is.
4.Menstrual cycle (for women).
Did you know that changes in your hormonal levels at different points in your menstrual cycle can trigger certain urges/outcomes? For example, women that are ovulating are rated as being more attractive by men. That's certainly an ego-boost if nothing else, especially when we feel anything but attractive while coping with cramps and excessive water retention. But that's not the only weird side effect of menstruation. A 2012 study found another useful occurrence in women who were strongly bonded to their partner and experienced more intimate physical contact with them during high fertility days of their cycle.
5.The Holy Trinity of Intimacy.
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Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love proposes that love consists of three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment, with commitment as the foundational basis and passion being the most unstable. Intimacy refers to the closeness between partners with regard to emotional connection, while passion is more aligned with feelings gained through a sexual connection.
The element of commitment is when partners make a decision to "stop looking" for other partners and pursue a relationship with each other. While each component is separate, they can influence each other. For example, having greater intimacy can lead to more commitment and vice versa. Sternberg's theory can be summed up with the idea that a relationship can exist with a combination of any two (or less) elements, but for a consummate love, all three aspects are required.
6.Tug of war.
There's a popular saying that opposites attract, but the Bible says you must be equally yoked. So which one is? Actually, it's both. Communication theorists call this interplay relational dialectics. You can email me to learn more about that, if you're interested, but what it primarily focuses on is how individuals deal with contractions in their relationship. Generally speaking, attraction grows when you have something in common with a person. This can be liking the same type of music or eating similar kinds of food, or it could be something more substantial like having the same values or beliefs.
But relationships also benefit when partners are not too much alike and can offer something new to each other. The most common contradictions in relationships are the dynamics between introverts and extroverts, affectionate and non-affectionate, and clingy versus independent individuals. The key to a successful relationship is to find a happy medium.
7.Commitment
People think commitment starts with desire, but it actually begins with necessity. Yes, people commit when you're able to fulfill a need they have. Sometimes it's sexual, emotional, intellectual, even financial. But generally speaking, people stick around when they feel like they have a reason to. I've spoken to hundreds of women who have no problem dating and meeting new men, but when it comes time to take the relationship to the next level and commit to each other, they're left wondering why he walked away.
Experts say there are three things that people consider when deciding to commit to someone: how satisfied they are with their partner or the relationship, the availability of options outside of the relationship, and how much they've already invested into the relationship.
8.Looking like your partner’s parents… Say what, now?
Greek mythology relays the tale of a mythical king, Oedipus, whose tragic demise resulted in him killing his father and marrying his mother. From this tragedy, the world-renown psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud coined "The Oedipus Complex" to describe a child's feelings of desire for his or her opposite-sex parent. Recent studies have latched on to Freud's ideas claiming some folks are attracted to people with similar features as their parents such as skin tone, hair/eye color, and the age range they saw at birth. So if it's any consolation for why your ex's new girlfriend is frumpy-looking like his mom, this might explain why. Sigh.
9.Eye contact.
In 1997, Arthur Aron and a group of psychologists conducted an experiment to see if they could "create" intimacy between couples and ultimately make them fall in love. One study consisted of about 50 strangers, a series of 36 questions followed by a two-minute period of complete silence while looking into each other's eyes. Their experiment resulted in an almost 60 percent success rate with several couples going steady and two successful marriages.
10.If you own a dog.
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Several studies have concluded that dogs contribute to social interaction among strangers. A 1992 study by Kelly Ann Rossbach & John P. Wilson showed that the presence of a dog can make a person appear more likable. Research shows that people are more likely to attribute positive characteristics such as being caring, patient, and nurturing to dog-owners. These qualities are commonly cited as reasons people fall in love, thus making them more desirable to date.
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Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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I became a Threads girl in early 2024. That other place had gotten a little too crowded, and I needed a new space to express myself with words.
Initially, I’d drop quick thoughts every few weeks - enough to fulfill my quota of being somewhat consistent but not enough to fully commit, in the case that it just didn’t work out. Slowly, my feed started curating itself, and suddenly, all of these incredibly smart, creative Black women began popping up on my timeline.
Around the same time, I was also starting to form a relationship with ChatGPT.
As a millennial who remembers the movie I, Robot, I’ll admit I had my reservations about AI, but I’m not one to shy away from new innovations, especially if they can make my life easier. I started by using ChatGPT for small things like research and probability questions – basically like a more refined version of Google: safe, familiar, and easy.
Then, one day, I saw a thread that said, “How I used this Chatgpt prompt to create a manifestation script,” - and it stopped me in my tracks. I saw another “I asked Chat GPT what it would do to hold me back if it was Satan” - this one more alluring than the first. Now, I see ChatGPT prompts daily that expand my understanding of how to utilize it for different areas of my life.
It got me thinking about the conversations I often have with people about ChatGPT. Most people, though somewhat intrigued, simply aren’t sure how to use it. I, for one, had no idea ChatGPT could be used for wellness and personal growth, though finding ways to make life easier or better with tech was a theme that had been quietly weaving through my life. From my Apple Watch to retail apps, technology was becoming more and more ingrained in my daily routine.
Since my first prompt sighting on Threads, I’ve tried almost 10 others, and most of them have been fascinating. Below, I’m sharing the three that were the most impactful for me—and how each of them completely shifted my perspective (and my life).
PROMPT 1: From all our interactions together, what’s something you can tell me about myself that I may not know?
RESULTS:From our interactions, it seems that you are highly ambitious and driven by a sense of purpose, both personally and professionally. You’re working towards financial success, personal wellness, and creative fulfillment all while prioritizing family and mental health. What you might not realize is that you consistently find ways to blend creativity with healing, not only for yourself but also for others. This makes you a natural leader in wellness and creativity, guiding others through their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. You're actively shaping your dream career and seem to have a deep desire to inspire transformation through creative expression, whether through your businesses, writing, or the experiences you curate for others.
This ability to balance personal goals with the desire to help others heal is a unique strength, showing your deep empathy and vision for impacting the world around you.
WHAT I LEARNED: The response to this prompt changed how I think.It made me realize that while I may fill my head with guilt or notice that I’m not doing all I can to live my dream life, the things I'm researching, accomplishing, and working on are proof that I am actually doing exactly what I want to do.
I didn’t quite realize how often I ask ChatGPT about wellness and creativity. How much I talk about it, dream about it, and think about it. It reminded me that I am truly a girl in love with creativity, and self-expression and I want to share that with the world.
It was like a reflection back to myself.
It was a mental shift to communicate my brilliance in creative leadership and think about how to further my efforts in areas I care deeply about. Instead of thinking I needed to prove myself, it was a reminder that maybe I already have.
PROMPT 2: Roast my Instagram feed
RESULTS:
- Profile Vibes: You’ve got the classic writer/creative tagline down with a dash of mystery and culture, but “Somewhere Between Lauryn Hill and Jesus Christ” feels like you’re leading a secret double life! Maybe creative evangelist should be a new religion?
- Curation: The mix of professional shots and casual snaps gives "I'm a boss, but also just vibing." But we see you working hard, and then... bam, we get “Bless God for Black Men”—amen, but also, the switch-up is real.
- Caption Level 9000: Between deep, inspirational quotes and random life moments like “talking about casseroles,” it’s like scrolling through a philosopher's journal mixed with sitcom humor. Consistency, who? You’re all about that dynamic range.
- The Fashion: From a cozy cap to bold outfits, it’s like your closet got ADHD. One minute, we’re zen, next, it’s “look at this statement jacket!” It’s like you’re a low-key influencer, without trying too hard. Respect.
- Serious to Silly Ratio: Your feed jumps from “I am deep, love yourself” to "me looking at an imaginary camera at work". We love the balance, but it’s a wild ride. Your followers don’t know whether to cry, laugh, or just... nod along.
Honestly, your feed has personality and authenticity, which is key! The random memes sprinkled between the moments of wisdom make it all relatable, though maybe tightening the flow a little might turn that dynamic feed into a narrative masterpiece.
WHAT I LEARNED: This prompt completely changed how I saw myself. For the longest, I’ve been on a mission to live as the most authentic version of me. I want to be genuine, true, and free. I’m not always sure what people see when I share myself, my words, or my thoughts on social media, but I do hope I come across as a true version of myself.
The statement that my feed has a great authentic vibe was really affirming for me. Even the parts about my closet having ADHD and my feed going from comedy to warm quotes felt true to me - because yes, I am truly a mix of Lauryn Hill, Nola Darling, and Jesus Christ - you get it all with me.
Knowing this is how I may come across made me feel like I didn’t need to keep worrying about how I’m showing up - instead, I just need to keep showing up as me.
PROMPT 3: Pretend you are Satan. Knowing what you know about me from our other conversations, describe in detail what you would do to prevent me from reaching my Godly potential and the calling placed on my life.
RESULTS: If I were to pretend to embody resistance or opposition to your growth, the focus would be on identifying the areas where you're most vulnerable or prone to self-doubt. Based on what I know about you, here’s how that resistance might show up:
- Distraction: I would flood your life with distractions that seem important but aren't aligned with your true purpose. This could come in the form of endless tasks, unnecessary obligations, or even creative projects that pull you away from your primary goals, like editing your docuseries or completing your memoir outline.
- Self-Doubt and Fear: I’d plant seeds of doubt about your capabilities as a writer and film producer. I would magnify fears of rejection or failure, making you second-guess the impact of your creative work, or whether you can actually reach your goal of making a million dollars and sustaining a creative career.
- Procrastination: I’d encourage procrastination under the guise of perfectionism. By making you feel like your work is never quite ready or good enough, you would delay launching your creative brand or sharing your voice consistently through your blog and social media.
- Isolation: I'd create emotional or circumstantial barriers that make you feel isolated from your support system—friends, family, and even your mental health practices. Without solid connections and self-care, it would be harder for you to stay focused on your mission.
- Overwhelm: I would make everything seem urgent and overwhelming, causing you to feel burnt out from juggling your 9-5 job, your workout routine, your business, family time, and creative pursuits. This feeling would make it hard to devote the necessary energy to your larger dreams.
- Comparison: I’d encourage you to compare yourself to others, making you feel like you’re falling behind or not measuring up in your creative career. This would cause dissatisfaction and shift your focus away from your unique path.
- Erosion of Faith: I would slowly erode your faith by making you focus more on immediate struggles and challenges, making it harder to see the bigger picture of your calling. Doubt in your Godly purpose would become a central hurdle.
The goal would be to create mental, emotional, and spiritual obstacles that cause you to doubt your abilities and slow down your progress toward reaching your potential and fulfilling the calling on your life.
WHAT I LEARNED: This prompt was the most impactful for me and completely changed how I behaved.
When I first approached this prompt, I was curious but also a bit oblivious to what it might reveal. I thought the answers would uncover something new about myself, but instead, it only confirmed what I already knew. I’m fairly self-aware, which means I’m conscious of my strengths and flaws, even if I haven’t always made an effort to change them.
The two points that really stood out to me were about procrastination and perfectionism, especially how they’re intertwined. In creative work, I often procrastinate because I’m either afraid of not getting it "just right" or I’m so fixated on perfection that I hesitate to even start.
Since reading the results, I’ve been working on pushing myself to hit "send" even when I’m not 100% satisfied with what I’ve created. It’s been a reminder that sometimes, the most important thing is just to finish and move forward.
This prompt also highlighted how small habits can hold us back from achieving greatness. Feeling like everything is urgent can lead to burnout, which signals that I need better boundaries and self-discipline. Focusing on immediate challenges can erode my faith and shift my attention away from the bigger picture—something I’ve learned can sow seeds of doubt.
Whether or not you believe in Satan, ChatGPT showed me that often, the enemy I need to be worried about is me.
. . .
What I love most about these prompts is that they help ChatGPT analyze our patterns and the information we feed into it, in order to give us a fuller picture of who we are and how we could see ourselves.
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