I got my first wax senior year of college for spring break in Miami. I decided to opt out of the beginner bikini option and went for the full monty: the Brazilian wax. For those who may be unfamiliar on what a Brazilian wax is, it's a technique where all of the pubic hair is removed from front to back, leaving you as smooth and as bare down there as a baby.
It was a beautiful sunny Saturday, so my girlfriends and I picked a salon and set up a group appointment to get our first waxes just in time to hit the beach. I was so excited, but I also had no idea what to expect. We were a group of novices in the wax world all joining forces to accomplish the same mission. This may sound dramatic, but as each of us entered the salon rooms one by one, I could hear a couple of them squeal in pain. A few of the other rooms remained silent. Were they dead? Did they pass out? What's going on in there?! Those were just a few of the many thoughts running through my mind until the wax beautician called out my name. It was finally my turn to find out and face the music.
While lying on the soft terry cloth table, my beautician tried her best to make small talk with me in efforts to distract me from the task at hand. She won and I was caught off-guard every single time. Each pull was fast and painful. The sting would last for a few seconds, but when placing her hand over each area after the pull, the pain settled. These steps repeated multiple times while being put in every compromising position to get the job done. About halfway through, I told her I wanted to stop and then I looked down at how ridiculous “my half-assed situation" looked and was forced to continue until every hair was gone.
In the end, I absolutely loved the results.
Not only did I feel fresh and smooth, but the comfort in knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about my nether regions for a few weeks put me at ease! The whole experience made me curious of why other women get waxes and who they get them for, if anyone.
My girlfriends and I have had numerous discussions as to why we wax. Let me introduce you to a few of them:
For Special Occasions
Tiffany: “I didn't really think it was all that painful or unbearable. It's definitely NOTHING like getting your eyebrows waxed of course, but my experience wasn't terrible and I loved the results. I'd definitely do it again. I also choose to wax when I know I will be wearing bikinis. I like the clean look and not having to feel self-conscious about what bikinis I can and can't wear. It makes me feel free and I like that."
Sade: “I usually get waxes for special occasions. It makes the hair lighter after a while, which I like and if I haven't gone in a while, it's not as hairy or painful. When I had a boo, I did it for him, but then after a while, I just liked the general upkeep here and there. I used to go every six weeks, now I make sure to schedule 4-5 appointments over the course of the year. It makes me feel like I'm maintaining myself, similar to the feeling of getting your nails done."
Summer: “Well, I don't get waxes every month like I used to. I will every once in a while. Initially, I was getting them because I didn't want to shave… then, I got married. I do like how clean it looks and feels, but moral of the story is that I cared before I got married. I don't really do it much anymore because it's super painful, and I mean, he's going to want it regardless."
For A Man
Maria: “I JUST got a wax! It makes me feel fresh, clean, and sexy and I don't have to worry about razor bumps from shaving. When I get a wax, I'm ready to show off my kitty to anyone!"
For Herself
Brooke: “I've been getting waxed for so long that I consider it part of my regular beauty regimen. In the same way that I get my nails done every other week or get my hair done weekly, I get a wax every month. It makes me feel great and confident. And this way, I'm ready for bikini season year-round."
Christina: “Reluctantly, yes, I'm #teamwax. I haven't subjected myself to the torture since December since it's been cold and no one's clearly been on my lawn, but I'll get them when spring gets here. I definitely get them for the confidence and sexy factor. And a groomed lawn definitely makes sexy undies look better."
Sam: “I get Brazilians regularly. I feel cleaner when it's all gone and it's really smooth. It lasts longer than shaving too. I go about every five weeks and I get them for myself. The older I get, the more I like doing those things for me."
We all have various reasons why we maintain the upkeep of our lady parts. For me personally, I get waxed sporadically. Although again, I love the results, it's a lot of maintenance that I'm just too lazy to put in. It's also uncomfortable and costly over time. I believe a Brazilian can range from $30-$50 depending on where you get it done.
Add that up over the course of every 3-4 weeks, and you get the picture. If I had my way, I would laser it away so I wouldn't have to deal with it ever again. That day might be in my near future, but until then, I'll stick with my sporadic routine. Perhaps over the summer or for vacation, or maybe for my man. I'll do it whenever I feel like it.
What about you? Do you relate to me or any of my friends? What type of wax do you prefer and who do you wax it off for?
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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