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Since a young girl, I have always wanted to get married and have a family. I saw my mom as a great example of a wife and a mother and I longed to one day have that same opportunity. I often dreamt about it and enjoy watching shows and films about weddings (Say Yes To The Dress is my fave). At 32, I haven’t made it down the aisle or started a family yet, and I do still want those things. However, I have come to be more open-minded about women and marriage/ starting a family.


I used to be one of those women who didn’t understand why any woman wouldn’t want to get married and/ or have kids. It’s every little girl’s dream, right? But as I got older, I realized that the fairytale way of thinking that was pushed on us as girls isn’t reality, and we have to figure out what it is that we really want and not what we were told we should want.

Whoopi Goldberg's journey is a testament to the power of self-awareness. The EGOT winner recently shared her insights on marriage and her dating life with Don Lemon. “The truth of the matter is I am fundamentally a selfish person. And I've found that because I have a wonderful kid and, you know, and a son-in-law, three grandkids and one great-grand, that I don't have time for a whole lot of other people coming into my life,” she admitted. “Because you know, that's my kid, and that’s the family, and you know, so hit and runs are great. I don't mind those, you know, but you can't spend the night.”

Whoopi has been married three times, and during her conversation with Don, she opened up about how her failed marriages sent her on a journey to self-discovery.

“You have to give yourself permission because, you know, you have this whole line of words that are stacked up in your head about what you are if you say a hit and run is where you want to be and you don't want to be married, you know? Am I a whore, am I this? Am I a terrible person ‘cause I don't want.. And I never really thought about it,” she explained.

“I just thought, well, I must be doing it wrong because other people seem to be able to have figured it out. And what I didn't realize was that I had figured it out. I just was surprised by the fact that a. I didn't really want it, but I like to hit and run. And my mother said, 'Well, maybe you should just throw a party from now on, not get married anymore.'”

She added, “It requires a lot. It is really a give and take, and I'm in my life at this point. I don't really want that. I want to, you know, see you when I see you, and then you go.”

Whoopi isn’t alone in this thinking. More women are becoming open to the idea of not getting married and enjoying the single life. Research from the National Medicine Library showed that singles who have a positive self-image and good relationships with family and friends are more satisfied with their lives. Knowing yourself and making choices that align with who you are is self-awareness at its finest. And whether you want to get married or not, falling in love with yourself first is key.

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Feature image by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

 

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