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The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
So, what does that have to do with anything (as it relates to today’s topic)? Well, as you can just about guess, Flew’d Out is about a woman who has men fly her out, then she tapes them and posts them on her socials in order to humiliate them and gain her some online clout whenever the transactions don’t go the way that she wants them to. Anyway, the ultimate fallout comes from her pulling that on the wrong — or right, depending on how you choose to ultimately look at it, I guess — guy.
The entire time that I watched it, mostly what I did was double-down on the points that I made in an article that I wrote last year for the site, “Guess What? Dating Was Never Supposed To Be Transactional.” Ugh. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it over a billion times before that when you don’t know the purpose of something, it is almost guaranteed that you will misuse or abuse it.
And when it comes to trying to find a healthy, solid, and long-term relationship (if that is indeed your goal, that is), being out here looking for a date that comes with the highest price tag, just so you brag about it on IG or to your friends? That isn’t going to ultimately get you what you want. All you’re going to do is attract the same opportunistic energy that you are putting out — and opportunists aren’t friends. All they really do is use each other.
Hmph. So many folks say that the dating pool has pee in it; meanwhile, I can’t help but wonder if a part of the reason why it’s that way is because the foundation of relationships, overall, are super dysfunctional at this point — and a big part of the reason why is because people are overlooking what should be a core element of any romantic connection: FRIENDSHIP.
I’m not the only one who thinks this way, either. Science does, too.
Just Like I Always Suspected, Successful Relationships Have Friendship As Its Foundation
GiphyAbout a month ago, The New York Times featured a Black couple who shared their love story. The title of the piece was, “After Years of Almost-Dates, a Romance Grows Between Friends.” The gist of it all is Cory and Stephanie have known each other since high school, they used to have lockers close to one another, they would walk home with each other after school and, although Stephanie was a couple of years older than Cory (which we all know is a pretty big deal in high school) and she had a boyfriend back then, they did happen to cultivate a friendship (bookmark that).
After high school, Cory and Stephanie ended up staying in touch and then, years later, they discovered that they both worked for the same company in Manhattan. So, in order to catch up, they met up for a meal, and afterward, Stephanie invited Cory to watch The Walking Dead with her at her place. Both of them referred to that as their “second first date” because it was a date that happened after years of almost-attempts at experiencing an official one (whether they initially realized it before or not).
During the pandemic, Cory and Stephanie spent more quality time together which caused Cory to ultimately realize that he had found his “one.” After four years of returning back to the restaurant of their second first date, Cory had loved ones meet them there so that he could propose. Stephanie said “yes” and they were married this past spring. Right before their wedding, they revisited their high school and the principal gave them a banner with the name of the high school on it; they used it as a part of their wedding day decor. Precious.
FRIENDSHIP.
Did you peep how organically and (relatively) smoothly everything evolved between Cory and Stephanie? It was because they both took their time to get to know each other. Did you also notice that there was no stratagem or cryptic agenda involved or even any pressure? Very early on, Cory and Stephanie decided that they were going to be friends and, if something came of it, cool. If not, there was still going to be a friendship intact so…also cool. Beautiful.
And you know what, just like Cory and Stephanie used their ever-evolving friendship to develop a relationship that ultimately turned them into husband and wife, science recommends that all people take the same approach…because it has proven to be a successful one. In fact, a particular popular study revealed that “the percentage of friends-first romantic couples varied from 40% to 73%. Friends-first initiation was even higher among married couples and homosexual relationships.”
The study went on to say that even if things start out as a friends-with-benefits dynamic, it has a 42% success rate when it comes to ultimately/eventually turning into something more. That’s not all. Something else that I found to be interesting about the research is only 30 percent of people said that they were initially sexually attracted to their now-partner; yep, 70 percent said that their feelings shifted over time.
Another pretty relevant thing that the study revealed is almost half of the individuals who participated in it would prefer for a relationship to start from a friendship rather than meeting someone at a party or online.
So, if there is solid data that proves that starting off as friends is certainly the best route to go, why don’t more people prioritize it? Good question.
So, Why Do More People Not Prioritize Friendship Before a Relationship?
GiphyThought Catalog is a website that has some cool essays on it from time to time. One that was published, shoot, a decade ago is entitled “To The Guy I Left In The Friend Zone For Too Long.” For the most part, it’s a personal narrative that is filled with regret because the author wishes that she had never friend-zoned a guy; now, she is hoping that she will give him another chance.
Look, it’s its own article that a lot of people friend-zone folks who would be great partners, and it’s all because they were never taught to prioritize establishing a friendship with a potential significant other in the first place. Y’all, even though attraction and chemistry are absolutely essential in a relationship, ask married folks who’ve been together for longer than five years about how much friendship has gotten them through the challenging times in their dynamic (check out “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?”).
Yeah, it really is wild to me how some people seem to underestimate the importance of friendship qualities like honesty, support, and good communication until after they commit to someone, which is actually why their relationship doesn’t go the distance; they were out here mostly only caring about if someone looks good and/or is great in bed or they just wanted to be in a relationship for having one’s sake when that stuff is to be icing far more than cake.
And how did so many find themselves in that predicament? Hmph. My older goddaughter is officially a teenager now, and while I tell her often that liking boys is completely normal, Auntie Shellie ain’t playin’ that “he cheated on me” or even “I have a boyfriend” nonsense with her. You are 13, chile — you have friends. You need to learn how to be friends with a boy, so that you can value friendship so that you can know how to properly navigate a relationship when you are actually old (and by “old”, what I mean is mature) enough to have one.
Yep — a lot of people, unfortunately, from as early as middle school on, thought, too much about the “girl” in girlfriend or the “boy” in boyfriend that they never factored in the FRIEND part. I actually recently read an article on The Jasmine Brand where Erykah Badu said that very thing about her relationship with her once-upon-a-time boyfriend and father of her firstborn, André 3000:
“When we became boyfriend and girlfriend in the ‘90s, we didn’t become friends first. We were attracted to each other first…We had stuff in common, but we didn’t learn all of that until over the years...Over these years, we’ve just become closer and closer as friends, as humans, as man, as woman…He’s one of my best friends on the planet.”
Listen, being friends is how you get to genuinely know someone. Being friends is how you can figure out if your lives truly mesh beyond the surface. Being friends is how you prioritize the qualities that make for a healthy and lasting relationship. So yes, it absolutely makes all of the sense in the world that science would say that people should start off as friends if they want their relationship to have a far greater chance at being successful.
3 Things That Can Shift Your Thinking About Guys Who Actually Have More-than-Friends Potential
GiphyOkay, but what if you’ve always been “programmed” to think that a relationship and a friendship are totally different things? What I mean by that is, what if you’ve always thought that if you are physically and emotionally into someone, that is not the same thing as being actual friends with them? In order to change your thinking, what should you do?
1. Use “just a friend” less.
I have a lot of male friends and all of them are pretty impressive in their own way, if I do say so myself. Because I am peacefully single, sometimes I get asked about why some of them aren’t more than friends to me, so I get why you may reply to a similar question with, “He’s just a friend.” At the same time, because I’ve personally learned to value friendship more than ever, I have chosen to frame that differently. Why?
Because that response low-key sounds like a friend isn’t of high value and merit. As a result, sometimes, even if a guy in our life has the potential to evolve into something more, saying that he’s “just a friend” programs us into thinking that 1) a friend is lower in value and 2) it doesn’t have the ability to change. That said, think of the guys who you say are “just a friend.” Taking into account my breakdown, why do you say that? Next sentence: Is that 100 percent accurate?
2. Understand what a relationship is about.
In The National’s article, “Is friendship the new marriage? Experts give their bestie advice,” one of the points that it makes is, “Friendships offer a unique blend of unconditional support, mutual interests, and shared experiences that differ from romantic relationships...They often lack the pressures and expectations that can accompany romantic relationships, allowing for more straightforward communication and acceptance." I totally agree and it definitely irks me that people seem to have more grace, mercy, and forgiveness in friendships than in relationships — and I think it’s because individuals better understand the purpose of friendships vs. relationships.
Honestly, a relationship should be a friendship that consists of a desire to intimately share all of the nuances of your life with another individual while being sexually connected and profoundly committed.
In other words, a relationship should be a “2.0 version” of a friendship; it definitely shouldn’t be something that is void of one. Yet…many relationships are, which is why there is very little patience, compassion, and resilience in them. Sad. Very sad.
3. Take the pressure off.
Pressure may make diamonds; however, you know what else it creates? STRESS and please tell me when a stress-filled relationship has truly benefitted anyone. You know, some of the best relationships have happened when things didn’t come with stress, ultimatums, and agendas — instead, they evolved organically, which literally means that they developed, over the course of time, without the use of force (of any kind) or pressure.
By putting a friendship first and allowing it to grow, you’ll be amazed at what you will discover — about what you need/don’t need, want/don’t want, and how much a true friendship will benefit a relationship in the long run. Know what else? Less pressure allows room and space for authenticity and trust; that way, you can know who you are truly dealing with beyond surface-level attraction or oxytocin highs (good sex).
____
Me? I’m always gonna be a huge fan of relationships that were birthed out of friendships because I like houses that are built on solid foundations.
Some of y’all will catch that later…please make sure that you do. #wink
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images