Pageantry is a sport. I train and prepare for competitions so that basically makes it a sport to me. I have been competing for years, and I have lost more than I have won. To say that I haven't been devastated at times would be far from the truth; especially since I have a knack for being 1st runner up.
To be so close but not win is not easy, but in hindsight I know that all of those losses prepared me for life itself. For my destiny.
I know you must be reading this asking yourself, "What the heck is good about losing?" Well, I'll tell you. Here is my point of view:
You learn to identify your areas of opportunities:
Most people call them "weaknesses" but I am not fond of that word. "An area of opportunity" has a much better tone. It is something that you need to work on to become better; to be what you see yourself as. In identifying your areas of opportunities, you can develop a plan to improve and be better prepared for the next attempt at any goal. From my experiences, I have learned to be honest with myself about my strengths and areas of opportunities. I do not wait for others to point them out, I seek them out myself and make a solid effort to make improvements. Outside of pageantry, this has helped me immensely in my career and with my personal relationships as well.
You develop "haters" and you learn to ignore them:
I come from a small island – 32 square miles to be exact. So it didn't take long for me to get wind of what people were saying. After placing first runner up three competitions in a row, I knew people were wondering why I just didn't quit. And for a brief moment, I actually cared about what people thought. However, it did not take long for me to realize that those were the exact same people that never attempted to accomplish anything, ever. They were quick to chastise people who tried and were content with being lackluster.
At that moment, I realized that I was not to give up on a passion for those who had none.
Besides, quitters NEVER win! fast forward a few years later, and I am an international title holder whose accomplishments have also allowed me to be recognized by one of the biggest and most respected entertainment/hospitality companies and assist in fast-tracking my career. If I had given up, I would probably be where my naysayers are now – right where I left them four years ago.
You realize that you may not win but other opportunities may present themself:
Each loss came and another door opened! I met important individuals who would play an integral role in future opportunities. I made great friends and gained supporters along the way. I met future sponsors and was able to gain valuable work experiences. I learned the value of networking (a huge aspect for my career) and the importance being kind to EVERYONE, even those that won over me. A crown and a sash is cool but being respected and gaining character development is much more important and a much bigger prize in the end.
You learn to handle disappointments gracefully:
Writing this doesn't mean that I like losing. I don't. Nor do I encourage anyone to compete to lose. I do however know that losing happens and when it does, it truly shows the character and maturity of an individual. It sucks to be known as a sore loser or bad competitor. I recall one particular pageant that I had made a lot of personal sacrifices for and did all that I could to be flawless in each category. There were many signs that the directors were rooting for another contestant but I ignored it and kept my focus on me. That evening, when we were the last two standing and I was called the runner up, she was in complete shock. In that moment, I wanted to scream and needed to get away fast but couldn't.
I had to maintain my composure and be happy for the opportunity that was given to my competitor.
More importantly, with all eyes on me I had to ensure that I accepted my loss with tact and pride. I posed for pictures, thanked my supporters, and left the stage. Like a baby, I cried only once I was alone with my mom (I promise it wasn't long). Then I gathered my things and went out to party with my friends. Over the next couple of weeks, the pageant was a hot topic amongst people that attended the show and I was asked about it more than once while out and about. My answer was simple: "The judges' decision is final and I respected that."
Did I have more to say? Yes! I was still very hurt but I knew that only my family and friends should hear my true anger and disappointment. Those feelings in public could never be revealed. It was a tough loss, very tough loss, but I survived. And not only did I survive, but I mustered up the courage to try again and I finally got the BIG title: Miss US Virgin Islands World 2012.
Life is not fair and everything happens for a reason:
I learned this lesson quickly. Sometimes you are the best and deserve the victory but it still won't work out in your favor. This is life – situations are not always fair. Let's take a look at a slightly different scenario other than pageantry: You have been working hard to earn a promotion at work. Your work is flawless, you come in on time. You look the part and spend long hours and yet, a slacker is promoted to the role that you have been working extremely hard for.
Is it fair? No, but this scenario happens more often than we like to admit. Should you be disappointed? Yes, it would be a natural feeling, but I would encourage anyone to continue working hard. A lot of the time, something better - something you may not have plan for - works out in your favor. Then you realize that what you thought was a setback was actually a set up for something greater! You must stay positive and realize that everything happens for reason. It's just that you almost never understand the reason until later.
Stay positive. Learn from your errors. Don't give up. All cliché but all are very true.
*Featured image by NatashaSmithPhoto
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Anyway, one of them was recently expressing in the chat that, although, according to her doctor, her hormone levels seemed to be fine, she felt like certain perimenopause symptoms were telling her otherwise. She’s probably right because the reality is you can be in a state of perimenopause — the transitional phase that comes right before menopause — anywhere from 4-10 years (keep in mind that the average age for entering menopause is 51).
And so, after hearing about some of what she was experiencing and recommending things like evening primrose oil and raspberry leaf tea, it reminded me that I should also pen an article on seed cycling — a practice that is gaining more traction when it comes to all-natural ways of keeping certain hormones in balance.
If you’re curious about what seed cycling is all about, I’ve got a few details that may interest you — and might provide you with some perimenopausal relief — below.
What Is Seed Cycling and Why Is It Becoming More Popular?
GiphyProbably the easiest way to define seed cycling is it’s all about consuming certain seeds during certain times of the month in order to balance out your hormones — well, not only balance hormones but boost fertility and also decrease symptoms that are directly related to menopause.
The thought process of seed cycling is if you consume certain seeds during the first half of your menstrual cycle, it will help to balance out your estrogen levels; then if you consume certain seeds during the other half of your menstrual cycle, it will balance out your progesterone levels.
So, which seeds are you supposed to take?
Flax and pumpkin seeds during the first 14 days of your cycle and then sesame and sunflower seeds during the last 14 days. And what if your period isn’t on a 28-day cycle? Well, then what you would do is take flax and pumpkin seeds during your follicular phase (the first day that you start your period through the day that you ovulate) and sesame and sunflower seeds during your luteal phase (the time that happens right after your ovulate and ends once your period starts). And why these seeds in particular? Were they just pulled out of thin air? Nope.
Flaxseeds contain phytoestrogenswhich is a form of plant-based estrogen. Estrogen is low at the beginning of your menstrual cycle, so phytoestrogens can help your body build up your uterine lining. When you are going through the latter stages of perimenopause/menopause, estrogen levels can significantly decrease; phytoestrogens can help to bring your levels back up. That said, as far as periods are concerned, flaxseeds can help to regulate your cycle (which can also make it easier for you to conceive, if that is something that you are trying to do). As far as perimenopause and menopause are concerned, they can help to make their symptoms more bearable.
Pumpkin seeds are a rich source of magnesium and manganese which help to ease PMS symptoms and reduce menstrual discomfort. When it comes to perimenopause and menopause, magnesium can reduce anxiety and depression and help you to sleep better which can reduce symptoms that are associated with both conditions. And manganese? Manganese helps to regulate blood levels and improve bone density. Pumpkin seeds also contain a considerable amount of zinc that helps to regulate hormones. Fertility-wise, pumpkin seeds can increase testosterone levels and they can help you to have a healthier pregnancy.
Sesame seeds also have phytoestrogens in them; however, the reason why sesame seeds are recommended for seed cycling is because the zinc, selenium, vitamin E, and fatty acids in them are what help to give your progesterone levels a boost during the second half of your menstrual cycle. Progesterone not only creates a healthy uterine lining, if an egg isn’t fertilized, but it also helps your body to shed the lining. When it comes to perimenopause/menopause, progesterone is needed because it can help reduce the impact of hot flashes and menopause-related insomnia. When it comes to conceiving, sesame seeds can help to reduce inflammation and boost your immunity — making it easier for your body to get pregnant.
Sunflower seeds are loaded with vitamin Eand that alone makes them great when it comes to your menstrual cycle and dealing with perimenopause and menopause-related symptoms. That’s because vitamin E helps to reduce period discomfort and, if you happen to have heavy cycles, it can help to decrease the amount of blood that you lose during your cycle as well. For those dealing with perimenopause and menopause, vitamin E helps to bring relief to symptoms like hot flashes and vaginal dryness. Sunflower seeds can also aid in fertility, thanks to the fatty acids in them that can make it easier to conceive.
So, as you can see, there is a method to the madness when it comes to the seeds that are selected for seed cycling. Okay, but how do you actually incorporate seed cycling into your lifestyle? Good question.
How to Do Seed Cycling in Order to Receive the Most Optimal Results
GiphyIf you want to try seed cycling in order to see if it helps you and your hormones out, this is what you will need to do:
During days 1-14 (again, your follicular phase), you will need to take one tablespoon of ground flaxseeds and one tablespoon of ground pumpkin seeds.
During days 15-28 (again, your luteal phase), you will need to take one tablespoon of ground sesame seeds and one tablespoon of ground sunflower seeds.
The strategy here is if you do this consistently for 3-4 months, you should start to see an improvement when it comes to the imbalance of your hormones. It should also go on record that some health experts recommend adding 1200-1500 mg EPA/DHA to the follicular phase of seed cycling and evening primrose oil to the luteal phase. That’s because EPA/DHA are fatty acids that help to reduce bodily inflammation and evening primrose oil helps to decrease PMS symptoms as well as hot flashes.
As far as side effects go, there currently aren’t any drastic ones that have been reported. The main thing to keep in mind is that you may experience some gas, bloating, or changes in your bowel movement patterns for a moment. That’s because certain seeds are filled with fiber.
How These Seeds Will Benefit Your Health Regardless
GiphyNow that you know more of what seed cycling is all about, you might be wondering if it’s truly worth your while. The truth is that research is still being conducted which means that there are articles out in cyberspace that tend to Elmo shrug seed cycling more than anything else. My two cents? I mean, the fact that the four seeds listed have other health benefits, if you’re someone who prefers to take all-natural approaches to your health, it can’t hurt to up your intake of flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, and sunflower seeds anyway. Here are a few (additional) reasons why.
Flaxseeds. Aside from the fact that flaxseeds are a beneficial source of fiber and protein, they are also good for you because they are rich in omega-3s (which reduce inflammation and decrease cholesterol levels), they can help to keep your blood sugar levels in check, they are good at assisting with weight management and they can strengthen your digestive system.
Pumpkin seeds. If you’re currently trying to eat less meat yet you don’t want to do it at the sacrifice of your daily protein needs, pumpkin seeds are the answer to your prayers. They are off-the-charts when it comes to how much protein is in them (almost nine grams per serving), plus they contain a solid amount of copper, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, zinc, and antioxidants. If you want to improve your bladder health, pumpkin seeds can help to make that happen. If you want a stronger heart, pumpkin seeds offer support in that department.
Something else to keep in mind is, that since pumpkin seeds have antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, antioxidative, and anti-ulcerative properties in them, they can also help your body to heal from minor issues and wounds faster — which is always a good thing.
Sesame seeds. If you are looking to get more fiber and protein in, lower your cholesterol and blood pressure levels, keep your bones in good shape, uptick your vitamin B intake, and/or strengthen your immune system, these are the areas where sesame seeds can be of great assistance. Something else that’s cool about sesame seeds is they have a reputation for helping to keep your liver and kidneys in peak condition as well.
Sunflower seeds. As far as snacking goes, probably the most popular seeds (on this list, anyway) are sunflower seeds. If they are something that you enjoy indulging in, you can feel good about that since they contain properties that fight cancer, help to regulate your thyroid, assist with preventing muscle cramps, provide you an energy boost, reduce your blood sugar levels, and make your gut (where 80 percent of your immunity resides) healthier.
Hmph. Looks to me that if you take these seeds in, your health is only going to improve — if that includes when it comes to your hormones, then that is just a bonus.
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Now that you know more about seed cycling, of course, it is totally up to you if you want to give it a shot. Again, though — since all of these seeds are good for you, what do you have to lose in trying it?
I don’t see one damn thing, y’all. Not one.
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Featured image by Daniel de la Hoz/Getty Images