Even though love is a universal concept, it is a unique experience for each individual. Successfully building and maintaining a healthy relationship requires you to learn your significant other's love language. You may be familiar with NY Times best-selling author Gary Chapman and his work known as The 5 Love Languages—a how-to guide about the five ways that people express and experience love. These categories include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Unfortunately, many people aren't familiar with their emotional needs or struggle with voicing them altogether. This results in dissatisfaction within relationships, often leading to resentment, if someone's love needs aren't being met.
Whether you're trying to win someone's heart, maintain a thriving relationship, or simply want to make a good impression on your boss, check out the tips below to help you gain (and keep) the key to their heart.
Aries & Their Love Language
Aries is considered the baby of the zodiac as this sign represents the birth of spring and the astrological new year. With that being said, it's important that you make the ram feel like they've got your undivided attention. They aren't necessarily needy as they do have a strong independent streak. It's not so much the amount of time that you spend with them but, more so, the quality of the experience. Aries loves to be on the go and this sign usually is a natural athlete. Take them out for a few rounds of paintball or go to your local arcade. Make sure to put up a good fight and don't let them win just because they like to. The ram enjoys dueling against a worthy opponent.
Even though they prefer to take the lead in a relationship, it's quite the turn-on if you do so from time to time. Your Aries man is likely to be super-machismo, so playing a role in his bondage and discipline fantasy will make an impression. As for your Aries woman, be open to role reversal. Allowing her to drive the boat lets her know that you trust her enough to get the job done.
Taurus & Their Love Language
A way to a Taurus' heart is through their stomach and their bank account. The calm, but stubborn bull, is ruled by Venus, the planet of love and money. Receiving gifts is their primary love language as this sign has an appreciation for the finer things in life. This doesn't mean that you have to go broke dating a Taurus. Even though they enjoy the material things that the world offers, this down-to-earth sign values consistency within their bonds, having a tendency to enjoy commitment due to them being a fixed sign.
Associated with the Earth element, Taurus is known for being one of the most sensual signs, making pleasure their top priority. Treat them to a fine dining experience or a weekend vacation at the wine vineyard. If your pockets are tight, don't worry! Taurus loves to be in the comfort of their home. Offer to cook for them or order takeout from their favorite restaurant. Set the mood by lighting some scented candles, running them a bath, then rubbing them down with warm oil before laying them down in their Egyptian cotton sheets. Keep in mind that this sign is big on receiving—with that being said Taurus men and women alike are big on getting some "face time".
Gemini & Their Love Language
Gemini is known to be one of the more free-spirited, flirtatious signs of the zodiac; their mutable energy makes them notorious serial daters. This can be a bit off-putting for people that prefer a bit more predictability but this playful sign can offer one of the most stimulating, adventurous relationships you've ever had. As a dual sign, associated with the twins, Gemini can portray multiple personalities, keeping their suitor on their toes.
Even though this sign may seem disinterested in commitment, they actually love companionship due to their duality. It's as though they're longing for their "other half", the one who gets them, throughout their entire lives. They need someone who can match their passionate curiosity about life but they also need someone to be their soft landing when they're burnt out from their explorations. Gemini is considered one of the most eccentric, brainy signs that will enjoy checking out an art museum or attending a poetry lounge where you can potentially pick up a cutie to join your midnight Ménage à trois.
Cancer & Their Love Language
The sensitive crab requires an emotionally nurturing relationship that makes them feel safe enough to venture outside of the protection of their shell. As loving as this sign is, they can be slow to open up and let others into their world. Once they do so, they run the risk of overly-extending themselves and being taken advantage of due to their kind, generous nature. Patience and quality time are required to build the trust of your Cancer but once they start feeling comfortable with you, you're in for one of the sweetest romances of all time. Naturally maternal, this sign prioritizes others over themselves to the point that they can neglect their own goals and needs.
You can show your Cancer some love by offering to do something for them as an act of service. Run an errand for them, cook dinner, or clean up around the house. They won't usually voice when they need help so it's important to be cognizant of how you may be taking too much from them. Cancer men are typically attracted to assertive women so dominating them in the bedroom is welcomed. As innocent as your Cancer woman may seem, you'd be surprised at how experimental she is.
Leo & Their Love Language
Pursuing the superstar of the zodiac isn't for the faint of heart or for the prideful. It's important that you make your Leo feel like they're basically the best thing that ever happened to you. This sign is notorious for its big ego but rightfully so, given the success that the Leo often experiences. You can always expect this ambitious feline to be in hot pursuit of his or her dreams. Although they can do well in a power couple dynamic, this sign usually likes to be in the spotlight while their significant other takes a lesser, supportive, yet equally important role.
Words of affirmation are one of the preferred love languages of the sun child. Compliments can go a long way but try not to overdo it to avoid coming off as a kiss-ass. Leo is typically an accomplished sign and their achievements should give you enough to brag about along with their impeccable sense of style. In the bedroom, your Leo man prefers to dominate his prey with choking, hair pulling, and slapping and the Leo woman is equally down for a bit of rough-housing as well.
Virgo & Their Love Language
When you're pursuing a Virgo, it's important that you display consistency and practicality in your approach. They're not apt to long, drawn-out social media affairs and would much rather book a flight to spend some time with their crush. If you live in close enough vicinity to your Virgo, spending quality time with them goes a long way. This ambitious sign is usually focused on their money and their business, so when they do make time for you, take it as a sign that they're really into you.
As one of the more structured zodiac signs, you can impress them by making the date night plans, buying their roundtrip plane ticket, or purchasing that vacuum on their Amazon wishlist.
Acts of service can also go a long way with this sign. Offer to spend the day helping them organize their office or make a trip to Whole Foods to restock their color-coordinated pantry. Although Virgo is known as the Virgin, both men and women of this sign are well-experienced behind closed doors. Virgo men typically like to dominate in the bedroom and your Virgo lady may be into recreating Maggie Gyllenhaal's provocative performance in Secretary.
Libra & Their Love Language
This Venus-ruled zodiac sign is associated with the 7th house, making them naturally relationship-oriented. You'll rarely find a Libra who doesn't have someone on their roster. As one of the most flirtatious signs, words of affirmation can go a long way with them. Don't just focus on their looks though. Libra is well-known for being one of the intellects of the zodiac, so complimenting their brilliant mind will win you some brownie points as well.
This sign is known for compromising due to their diplomatic approach to life. However, they can easily forget their own needs within love, often resulting in imbalances in their relationships. When you're pursuing a Libra, it's important to teach them the value of validating their wants and needs in the relationship. You can do so through acts of service and by giving them gifts. As a giver, the Libra man is a cunnilingus aficionado; while the Libra woman will be down to sixty-nine.
Scorpio & Their Love Language
As one of the most private signs of the zodiac, Scorpio can take a while to open up to someone pursuing them. They are deeply emotional but are typically good at masking their sensitivity. Patience is needed as they won't grant you access to their heart any sooner than they're ready to. Once they let you in, you'll be in for one of the most transformative, intimate romances of a lifetime.
Physical touch is one of Scorpio's favorite love languages. This sign enjoys the pleasure of foreplay and experiences that slowly build up to the big release. Take them out to a Tantra class, then try out what you've learned at the end of the night. As one of the most alluring signs of the zodiac, don't be surprised if you find yourself under your Scorpio's spell after the first rodeo. Their intuitive nature gives them the advantage of knowing exactly what your body needs. They are notorious for being one of the freakiest signs of the zodiac—both men and women likely having an interest in BDSM, anal, and a whole lot of latex.
Sagittarius & Their Love Language
This free-spirited zodiac sign can be a little hard to pin down, especially if you value stability and structure. As a mutable sign, Sagittarius prefers to explore the world, and their options—unless, of course, they can meet someone that is up to speed with them. Their fiery nature makes them passionate romantics who thrive off of adventure. You'll likely find them traveling around the world with their partner or enjoying various rendezvous with the foreigners they meet along their journey. The lively optimism of your Saggie will light up your world.
However, it's important that you're capable of offering this same positivity to them in their time of need through encouraging words of affirmation. As one of the dreamers of the zodiac, there always comes a time in which reality bursts their bubble, so it's necessary for them to have a safe space to lick their wounds before they're strong enough to get out into the world again. Spontaneity is a priority for this restless sign who likely enjoys sex in the car, outdoors, in the fitting room at the mall—basically anywhere they can do it without getting arrested. And even then, they may take the risk just so they can have an epic story to tell later.
Capricorn & Their Love Language
The boss of the zodiac typically likes to take the lead in love, if they even have the time for it, as they're usually more consumed with their plans of taking over the world. However, they could definitely use a sidekick to join them in their takeover. Capricorn has some lofty goals in mind and may need some help breaking down the process into concrete steps. That's where you come in. Acts of service go a long way with this ambitious zodiac sign. Offer to help them complete the minute tasks on their to-do list so they have time to focus on the more important stuff.
As an earth sign, Cappies value their business and financial security. Making an investment in their startup or putting some money towards their school tuition can put you in good standing with them. When it comes to their sexual needs, the Capricorn woman enjoys dominating her partner, settling for nothing less than their reverence. On the other hand, the traditional Capricorn male enjoys a more submissive lover.
Aquarius & Their Love Language
This free-spirited, intellectual sign craves a stimulating partnership both mentally and physically. As an air sign, Aquarius isn't typically into the emotional displays of affection. Instead, they value what they can learn from their significant other. Spending quality time with them, exploring their thoughts, and sharing your own personal experiences is something this sign thrives off of. Aquarius is associated with the 11th house, which has to do with society and humanitarianism.
Participating in acts of service that allow you to give back to the community can make a good impression on them. They also enjoy learning about different spiritual topics so take them out to a law of attraction seminar, meditation circle, or reiki center to show that you support their learning process. When it comes to their sexuality, Aquarius men appreciate receiving some creative nudes or a homemade flick of you partaking in some self-pleasure. As for the Aquarius woman, she particularly prefers more casual, no-strings-attached affairs, but within a commitment she'll be open to inviting another woman into the bedroom.
Pisces & Their Love Language
This sensitive water sign is a hopeless romantic just waiting to pour their love into anyone who's willing to receive it. However, their empathy often lands them in some pretty rough relationships where they end up carrying all of the weight in an attempt to heal or save someone. Pisces' association with the 12th house makes them a magnet for some of the most lower vibrational individuals dealing with issues of addiction, trauma, and mental illness. Over time, these types of relationships can start to wear down on this empathic sign—emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
If you're interested in pursuing a Pisces, be willing to carry your own emotional weight. They are often considered the "strong friend" so make sure to check in and spend quality time with them. Small gestures like holding their hand or giving them a hug can go a long way. When it comes to the bedroom, Pisces women enjoy extended foreplay and slow, deep sexual experiences that end in pillow talk. The laidback Pisces man in your life enjoys being dominated by his lover and he may even have a secret foot fetish as well so make sure to keep your toes well-manicured.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Originally published March 28, 2019
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert