Even though love is a universal concept, it is a unique experience for each individual. Successfully building and maintaining a healthy relationship requires you to learn your significant other's love language. You may be familiar with NY Times best-selling author Gary Chapman and his work known as The 5 Love Languages—a how-to guide about the five ways that people express and experience love. These categories include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Unfortunately, many people aren't familiar with their emotional needs or struggle with voicing them altogether. This results in dissatisfaction within relationships, often leading to resentment, if someone's love needs aren't being met.
Whether you're trying to win someone's heart, maintain a thriving relationship, or simply want to make a good impression on your boss, check out the tips below to help you gain (and keep) the key to their heart.
Aries & Their Love Language
Aries is considered the baby of the zodiac as this sign represents the birth of spring and the astrological new year. With that being said, it's important that you make the ram feel like they've got your undivided attention. They aren't necessarily needy as they do have a strong independent streak. It's not so much the amount of time that you spend with them but, more so, the quality of the experience. Aries loves to be on the go and this sign usually is a natural athlete. Take them out for a few rounds of paintball or go to your local arcade. Make sure to put up a good fight and don't let them win just because they like to. The ram enjoys dueling against a worthy opponent.
Even though they prefer to take the lead in a relationship, it's quite the turn-on if you do so from time to time. Your Aries man is likely to be super-machismo, so playing a role in his bondage and discipline fantasy will make an impression. As for your Aries woman, be open to role reversal. Allowing her to drive the boat lets her know that you trust her enough to get the job done.
Taurus & Their Love Language
A way to a Taurus' heart is through their stomach and their bank account. The calm, but stubborn bull, is ruled by Venus, the planet of love and money. Receiving gifts is their primary love language as this sign has an appreciation for the finer things in life. This doesn't mean that you have to go broke dating a Taurus. Even though they enjoy the material things that the world offers, this down-to-earth sign values consistency within their bonds, having a tendency to enjoy commitment due to them being a fixed sign.
Associated with the Earth element, Taurus is known for being one of the most sensual signs, making pleasure their top priority. Treat them to a fine dining experience or a weekend vacation at the wine vineyard. If your pockets are tight, don't worry! Taurus loves to be in the comfort of their home. Offer to cook for them or order takeout from their favorite restaurant. Set the mood by lighting some scented candles, running them a bath, then rubbing them down with warm oil before laying them down in their Egyptian cotton sheets. Keep in mind that this sign is big on receiving—with that being said Taurus men and women alike are big on getting some "face time".
Gemini & Their Love Language
Gemini is known to be one of the more free-spirited, flirtatious signs of the zodiac; their mutable energy makes them notorious serial daters. This can be a bit off-putting for people that prefer a bit more predictability but this playful sign can offer one of the most stimulating, adventurous relationships you've ever had. As a dual sign, associated with the twins, Gemini can portray multiple personalities, keeping their suitor on their toes.
Even though this sign may seem disinterested in commitment, they actually love companionship due to their duality. It's as though they're longing for their "other half", the one who gets them, throughout their entire lives. They need someone who can match their passionate curiosity about life but they also need someone to be their soft landing when they're burnt out from their explorations. Gemini is considered one of the most eccentric, brainy signs that will enjoy checking out an art museum or attending a poetry lounge where you can potentially pick up a cutie to join your midnight Ménage à trois.
Cancer & Their Love Language
The sensitive crab requires an emotionally nurturing relationship that makes them feel safe enough to venture outside of the protection of their shell. As loving as this sign is, they can be slow to open up and let others into their world. Once they do so, they run the risk of overly-extending themselves and being taken advantage of due to their kind, generous nature. Patience and quality time are required to build the trust of your Cancer but once they start feeling comfortable with you, you're in for one of the sweetest romances of all time. Naturally maternal, this sign prioritizes others over themselves to the point that they can neglect their own goals and needs.
You can show your Cancer some love by offering to do something for them as an act of service. Run an errand for them, cook dinner, or clean up around the house. They won't usually voice when they need help so it's important to be cognizant of how you may be taking too much from them. Cancer men are typically attracted to assertive women so dominating them in the bedroom is welcomed. As innocent as your Cancer woman may seem, you'd be surprised at how experimental she is.
Leo & Their Love Language
Pursuing the superstar of the zodiac isn't for the faint of heart or for the prideful. It's important that you make your Leo feel like they're basically the best thing that ever happened to you. This sign is notorious for its big ego but rightfully so, given the success that the Leo often experiences. You can always expect this ambitious feline to be in hot pursuit of his or her dreams. Although they can do well in a power couple dynamic, this sign usually likes to be in the spotlight while their significant other takes a lesser, supportive, yet equally important role.
Words of affirmation are one of the preferred love languages of the sun child. Compliments can go a long way but try not to overdo it to avoid coming off as a kiss-ass. Leo is typically an accomplished sign and their achievements should give you enough to brag about along with their impeccable sense of style. In the bedroom, your Leo man prefers to dominate his prey with choking, hair pulling, and slapping and the Leo woman is equally down for a bit of rough-housing as well.
Virgo & Their Love Language
When you're pursuing a Virgo, it's important that you display consistency and practicality in your approach. They're not apt to long, drawn-out social media affairs and would much rather book a flight to spend some time with their crush. If you live in close enough vicinity to your Virgo, spending quality time with them goes a long way. This ambitious sign is usually focused on their money and their business, so when they do make time for you, take it as a sign that they're really into you.
As one of the more structured zodiac signs, you can impress them by making the date night plans, buying their roundtrip plane ticket, or purchasing that vacuum on their Amazon wishlist.
Acts of service can also go a long way with this sign. Offer to spend the day helping them organize their office or make a trip to Whole Foods to restock their color-coordinated pantry. Although Virgo is known as the Virgin, both men and women of this sign are well-experienced behind closed doors. Virgo men typically like to dominate in the bedroom and your Virgo lady may be into recreating Maggie Gyllenhaal's provocative performance in Secretary.
Libra & Their Love Language
This Venus-ruled zodiac sign is associated with the 7th house, making them naturally relationship-oriented. You'll rarely find a Libra who doesn't have someone on their roster. As one of the most flirtatious signs, words of affirmation can go a long way with them. Don't just focus on their looks though. Libra is well-known for being one of the intellects of the zodiac, so complimenting their brilliant mind will win you some brownie points as well.
This sign is known for compromising due to their diplomatic approach to life. However, they can easily forget their own needs within love, often resulting in imbalances in their relationships. When you're pursuing a Libra, it's important to teach them the value of validating their wants and needs in the relationship. You can do so through acts of service and by giving them gifts. As a giver, the Libra man is a cunnilingus aficionado; while the Libra woman will be down to sixty-nine.
Scorpio & Their Love Language
As one of the most private signs of the zodiac, Scorpio can take a while to open up to someone pursuing them. They are deeply emotional but are typically good at masking their sensitivity. Patience is needed as they won't grant you access to their heart any sooner than they're ready to. Once they let you in, you'll be in for one of the most transformative, intimate romances of a lifetime.
Physical touch is one of Scorpio's favorite love languages. This sign enjoys the pleasure of foreplay and experiences that slowly build up to the big release. Take them out to a Tantra class, then try out what you've learned at the end of the night. As one of the most alluring signs of the zodiac, don't be surprised if you find yourself under your Scorpio's spell after the first rodeo. Their intuitive nature gives them the advantage of knowing exactly what your body needs. They are notorious for being one of the freakiest signs of the zodiac—both men and women likely having an interest in BDSM, anal, and a whole lot of latex.
Sagittarius & Their Love Language
This free-spirited zodiac sign can be a little hard to pin down, especially if you value stability and structure. As a mutable sign, Sagittarius prefers to explore the world, and their options—unless, of course, they can meet someone that is up to speed with them. Their fiery nature makes them passionate romantics who thrive off of adventure. You'll likely find them traveling around the world with their partner or enjoying various rendezvous with the foreigners they meet along their journey. The lively optimism of your Saggie will light up your world.
However, it's important that you're capable of offering this same positivity to them in their time of need through encouraging words of affirmation. As one of the dreamers of the zodiac, there always comes a time in which reality bursts their bubble, so it's necessary for them to have a safe space to lick their wounds before they're strong enough to get out into the world again. Spontaneity is a priority for this restless sign who likely enjoys sex in the car, outdoors, in the fitting room at the mall—basically anywhere they can do it without getting arrested. And even then, they may take the risk just so they can have an epic story to tell later.
Capricorn & Their Love Language
The boss of the zodiac typically likes to take the lead in love, if they even have the time for it, as they're usually more consumed with their plans of taking over the world. However, they could definitely use a sidekick to join them in their takeover. Capricorn has some lofty goals in mind and may need some help breaking down the process into concrete steps. That's where you come in. Acts of service go a long way with this ambitious zodiac sign. Offer to help them complete the minute tasks on their to-do list so they have time to focus on the more important stuff.
As an earth sign, Cappies value their business and financial security. Making an investment in their startup or putting some money towards their school tuition can put you in good standing with them. When it comes to their sexual needs, the Capricorn woman enjoys dominating her partner, settling for nothing less than their reverence. On the other hand, the traditional Capricorn male enjoys a more submissive lover.
Aquarius & Their Love Language
This free-spirited, intellectual sign craves a stimulating partnership both mentally and physically. As an air sign, Aquarius isn't typically into the emotional displays of affection. Instead, they value what they can learn from their significant other. Spending quality time with them, exploring their thoughts, and sharing your own personal experiences is something this sign thrives off of. Aquarius is associated with the 11th house, which has to do with society and humanitarianism.
Participating in acts of service that allow you to give back to the community can make a good impression on them. They also enjoy learning about different spiritual topics so take them out to a law of attraction seminar, meditation circle, or reiki center to show that you support their learning process. When it comes to their sexuality, Aquarius men appreciate receiving some creative nudes or a homemade flick of you partaking in some self-pleasure. As for the Aquarius woman, she particularly prefers more casual, no-strings-attached affairs, but within a commitment she'll be open to inviting another woman into the bedroom.
Pisces & Their Love Language
This sensitive water sign is a hopeless romantic just waiting to pour their love into anyone who's willing to receive it. However, their empathy often lands them in some pretty rough relationships where they end up carrying all of the weight in an attempt to heal or save someone. Pisces' association with the 12th house makes them a magnet for some of the most lower vibrational individuals dealing with issues of addiction, trauma, and mental illness. Over time, these types of relationships can start to wear down on this empathic sign—emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
If you're interested in pursuing a Pisces, be willing to carry your own emotional weight. They are often considered the "strong friend" so make sure to check in and spend quality time with them. Small gestures like holding their hand or giving them a hug can go a long way. When it comes to the bedroom, Pisces women enjoy extended foreplay and slow, deep sexual experiences that end in pillow talk. The laidback Pisces man in your life enjoys being dominated by his lover and he may even have a secret foot fetish as well so make sure to keep your toes well-manicured.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Originally published March 28, 2019
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A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Featured image by Anchiy/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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