

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, a slight tingling continuing up to my temples and inching up the back of my ears. I took another sip of water, trying desperately to keep my composure.
Inhale. Count to 10. Exhale.
I pressed my fingertips against my temples and then reached for my glass once more, hoping to feign my horror as dehydration, when in reality, I was trying to keep the tears from flowing.
Keeping it 100% real: receiving negative feedback hurts.
We have all read the quotes touting the importance of bouncing back, how constructive criticism makes us better and stronger, and the role of adversity in identifying areas for improvement… the list is endless. However, these supposed benefits aren't always realized when first delivered.
Upon receipt of a negative review, feelings of inadequacy, frustration, confusion, denial, and even hopelessness can rise to the surface. And it's okay to acknowledge their existence in your quest for a comeback rather than force them down.
Especially for my fellow overachievers, receiving negative feedback when you are already your biggest critic isn't always easy. But, just know that you are not alone. Here are 5 tips to help you get back on track.
What To Do After A Bad Performance Review
1.The 3 R’s: Reflect, React, Rebound
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We all learned how to stop, drop, and roll in response to a sudden fire as children. Now, the 3 R's are our response to professional fire drills. Upon receiving constructive feedback, take a moment to digest the information prior to responding or defending yourself (reflect). Be it 24 hours later, or during a scheduled follow-up meeting, streamline stated feedback into action items that you can address, seek clarification upon, and implement (react). Later, apply stated feedback and/or provide proof of adherence to begin the process of working towards more solid, positive future feedback (rebound).
2.Note Areas for Improvement
An extension of the first "R", reflect, be sure to specifically note which items you need to improve upon and ensure that you fully understand what changes are being asked of you. If your manager requests that you come in earlier, your next question should be: "What time?" Don't make assumptions. Ask for explicit examples of improved performance so you will know how to succeed and what benchmarks you're being judged against.
3.Implement Feedback
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After you know what is expected of you, do it! Even if it takes a while to get in the swing of things, remember that repetition and "practice makes permanent". Expectation setting and reshaping your own habits can be especially difficult when you work with managers who are particularly set in their ways.
Note: While you are trying to work your way towards more favorable reviews, this is often not the best time to try to force new ideas or changes to your team or boss, even if your suggestions are "right" or "more efficient". Know your manager and know your timing. Your opportunity to make a meaningful impact will come and will likely be more greatly appreciated when they trust the consistency and quality of your work.
4.Document Your Adherence
Keep your receipts, sis. Not only does documentation show good organization and listening skills, but in the event any questions regarding your improvement arise, it's always good to have clearly outlined examples of your behavior handy. In some situations, your documentation can be your lifeline. Don't let others put words in your mouth.
5.Proactively Seek Feedback
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You don't have to wait to be surprised during your performance review and feedback sessions. If anything, you should aim to not have any surprises during your review cycles. Be proactive and try asking your interviewers out to coffee or making a point to check in with your manager once or twice a week to assess how they feel about your performance. Sometimes small annoyances like your project turnover rate or time spent on your cell phone can manifest into job-altering assumptions from the viewpoint of your manager. Don't wait until it's too late. Check in early.
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Featured image by Getty Images.
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Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Gabrielle Union Dishes On Her Skincare Journey: 'It's Like Dating, You Just Keep Trying'
Gabrielle Union has always been known for her natural beauty. At 52 years old, she still holds the crown as one of Hollywood's most beautiful actresses and she's spilling her beauty secrets. During Vogue's Beauty Secrets series, the Riff Raff star shares her morning routine, which includes using multiple skincare devices for clear skin to lash serums.
Get all the deets below:
Cleanser
Gabrielle starts with a cleanser from U Beauty and follows that up with witch hazel (toner). "I was really lucky because I never really had crazy, problem skin," she said.
"Not until my hormones changed and it was like, 'is this acne? How do you get acne as a fully-grown ass woman?' But I found a way and I just had to start experimenting."
Exfoliator
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Next, she uses PCA Skin Pore Refining Treatment for exfoliation. "When I lived in Miami, I was like an oil slick, but in California where it's dry heat--I've also gotten a little dry in my older age," she said. "So I have to switch up my routine based on where I'm at."
The Being Mary Jane star also gave advice to those looking to improve their skincare routine. "If you see someone's skin that you like, 'what are you doing? What are the products? Tell me the routine,'" she shared. "I hope that it works for you, and if it doesn't, it's like dating. You just keep trying."
Retinol
"Some people have very strong opinions about retinol in the daytime, mainly because of the sun. For me it's kinda interchangeable, because I'm psycho about protection from the sun," she explained.
Facial Wands
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Gabrielle talked about her love for skincare devices. She uses Therabody Theraface Depuffing Wand to help push down the swelling and inflammation around her eyes. She then follows that up with Shani Darden Skin Care Facial Sculpting Wand.
Moisturizer
For moisturizer, she returns to U Beauty. "I started using U Beauty in September. I've never gotten more compliments on my face," she said.
Serum
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Next is PCA Vitamin B3 Brightening Serum and U Beauty The Return Eye Concentrate. "And with all the things I've used thus far, you have to commit to sunscreen because these products left without any protection from the sun will work against you," she said.
Lash Serums
"I don't know who else out there has a problem with TikTok Shop. I can't stop myself," she said. "The Babe Lash lash serum, the NuOrganic lash serum and I use one on one eye and the other on this one. And I just want to see which one is better."
Sunscreen
For sunscreen, she likes Allies of Skin The One SPF 50 Invisible Sunscreen Gel. "It just disappears right on my face," she said. Shen then ends her skincare routine with Winnie Harlow's Cay Skin Isle Lip Balm SPF 30.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image Vogue's YouTube/ Screenshot