In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Kamie Crawford is more than meets the eye.
Her first-ever wave came in the form of competing in the Miss Maryland Teen USA pageant. There, she represented the state of Maryland and ended up walking away from the night with a crown. Kamie also did so while making history as the first contestant from Maryland to ever win the competition. "I applied and the rest was history!" she exclaimed in a conversation with xoNecole. "Being Miss Teen USA was an awesome experience, but I got what I needed from it and moved forward with my life and career."
In addition to being a diverse shade and size in the fashion world as a model, Kamie has been broadening her reach and expanding her talents as an on-air host; a passion she's been nurturing into her purpose since her late teens. Most recently, she's gained credits with the E! Network and MTV's Catfish underneath her hosting belt, where her compassionate and "real recognize real" persona made her an instant fan-favorite among the lineup of guest hosts that have co-piloted Nev's show since long-time co-host's Max Joseph's departure.
Despite the yes's she's acquired along her journey, the pathway to being Kamie Crawford hasn't been one without uncertainty or doubts. "Before I made the transition, I had never felt more lost. I didn't know where my career was going, but I made the decision to put it all in God's hands and manifest TF out of everything. Once I did that, I got the email about Catfish. Sometimes you have to realize that there is already a divine purpose for your life – so while you're busy making plans, you have to know in your heart that the path has already been paved for you, you just have to follow it where it leads."
Since then, abundance has manifested by the droves and it all started with taking a leap of faith and transitioning to life in LA. Nowadays, Kamie is a master of her own destiny and is finding time to balance brand deals and TV segments with SoulCycle and Netflix and chill. Here's how.
What does the average day/week look like for you?
Every week is different, which keeps it exciting. I usually have one or two "admin days" out of the week to strictly just answer emails, send invoices for brand deals, work out contracts for upcoming projects, plan out potential TV segment ideas or jot down some goals. If I'm filming during the week (like I am right now), I have to block off days for travel/filming or time to coordinate looks for on-camera. I also have days set aside for taking meetings or running errands and because I'm a Scorpio, me-time is essential!
What are your mornings like? How do you wind down at night?
Mornings, I will admit, are not my strong suit. If I'm not filming early, I like to sleep as much as I can. I try to wake up around 9am and get my day started, walk my dog, get my Starbucks fix in. Sometimes, I work out, sometimes I don't. I'm working on making my mornings more productive! At night I love to catch up on Netflix or Ru Paul's Drag Race, hang out with my boyfriend and our dog. Maybe drink some wine – it all depends on the day!
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
Mondays and Tuesdays are usually the craziest just because there are so many emails coming in, but if I'm filming – I'm usually busy from Thursday to Monday. This is why I keep a physical and digital planner!
Do you practice any types of self-care?
SoulCycle is my self-care. I also just started boxing which is awesome, but outside of fitness I love to just detach. If I'm feeling stressed, I'll take a few hours and just be with myself and my own thoughts. I don't answer anyone's emails or calls and I regroup.
"If I'm feeling stressed, I'll take a few hours and just be with myself and my own thoughts. I don't answer anyone's emails or calls and I regroup."
What are some rituals you swear by in the name of self-care?
A scalding hot shower, a glass of wine and some great Chinese food usually does the trick for me!
How do you find balance with:
Love/Marriage?
I feel really lucky because my boyfriend and I both work in the entertainment industry. He's more behind the scenes, but he's always traveling with clients and we're coincidentally in the same place at the same time. One time I had to travel to Phoenix, AZ to film while he was in the same city for a music festival! It's always been like that and it really helps. It's also just great being with someone who gets the industry and my frustrations overall – we're constantly planning together and running ideas by each other, but even we have to set aside time with no phones and just enjoy one another.
Friends?
My best friends and I talk every single day. Group chats are a lifesaver! We're always connected digitally, but seeing each other often is a struggle just because we live in different areas now. Whenever we're in the same town though, it's like we never left. Low-maintenance friendships are key for me. We have to be able to pick right back up where we left off, even if we haven't seen each other in a few months! They're super busy and successful too, so we're all on the same page.
Exercise/Health? Do you ever detox?
I have spurts of being really super active and then I won't work out for like a week. I want to be better at that but if I'm not as active, I'm usually doing a better job at watching what foods I'm indulging in. I've done cleanses before, but I'm not really a fan. I own my faults and just try to make them better, but I don't like to put too much pressure on myself in that arena.
"Low-maintenance friendships are key for me. We have to be able to pick right back up where we left off, even if we haven't seen each other in a few months!"
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
A good cry helps! I can be a perfectionist at times and a strong manifestor, so when things don't happen as soon as I'd like, or at all, I can feel down. I allow myself to feel crappy and then I move on. I don't believe in wallowing for too long because things can always be worse and I am very blessed. If it's something I can change, I fix it. If it's out of my hands, I give to God and go to sleep!
What does success mean to you?
Meeting my personal and professional goals. Having people by my side who support me and love me for who I am and just being a good human. All the money in the world can't replace kindness and genuine happiness.
Ultimately, how do you find balance?
Prayer and downtime. Clearing my brain completely and then starting fresh with new ideas and a new perspective.
For more of Kamie, follow her on Instagram.
RELATED
Detoxes concentrate on drawing out bad toxins and energies and realigning us with our purpose. Usually, when my energy is low, or I experience constant uneasiness, I know I need to take steps to detox spiritually. Luckily, I remembered a Reiki healer who worked with a close friend years ago; therefore, I started there.
I checked in with Reiki Practitioner Tamara Angela (@loveandfaerymagic) for her top ten recommendations on how to spiritually detox. I appreciate Tamara’s advice because she uses Reiki as “maintenance, not crisis [management],” thus, helping me realize I can prevent “spiritual clutter” from progressing.
Reiki practitioner Tamara Angela
Photo courtesy of Tamara Angela
According to Tamara, "Reiki is a Japanese healing art. It [Reiki] comes with the understanding that we are all energy. And the way I describe it is Reiki covers you like your grandma’s prayer.” And we all know how vital our grandmother’s (or elders’) prayers are, especially growing up.
Ways To Spiritually Detox
Tamara explained that her nine steps all work together and detoxify your spirit and help you maintain the work you put into cleansing your spirit. We apply many of these steps to our daily routine, not realizing how crucial they are for our spiritual health. Each step ties into the other, and all are necessary.
When you do a spiritual detox it's important to remember, it’s a lifestyle. Start slowly to create the level of peace you want and build the stability you need. Tamara shares, “You can do all nine steps and still experience chaos. That is why it is important to have a baseline, a level of peace,” Tamara says. “You have to create a baseline of stability that you can revert back to. ‘I am used to this level of peace.’ Someone came along to disturb it, and now I have to fix it. Now, I can come back to these [steps] and remove that energy and know how to properly.”
1. Turn off your phone notifications and alerts.
Those notifications keep you tethered to constantly looking out for things (i.e. a text from that one person you should have kept blocked), thus, making it harder to calm your spirits. “Instead, choose a time in the day when you’re checking notifications,” Tamara recommended.
2. Get proper rest.
We experience different levels of sleep, and getting proper rest allows your body to reset. Raise your hand if your off day consists of running multiple errands. Often, we do not rest on our off days; “something” comes up. That “something” can be as simple as your favorite reality show.
Feel seen yet? I surely did. Sitting down and binge-watching a TV show does not allow your mind to rest effectively. For proper rest, Tamara suggested that classical and jazz music or white noise is okay, but nothing with lyrics.
3. Clear and calm your nervous system
When you are constantly experiencing things, sometimes you need to calm your mind down. For example, when something goes wrong with the Wi-Fi, we reset the modem. We should do the same when it comes to our bodies. Unfortunately, we tend to not think like that regarding our body and nervous system. “We are in a constant sensory experience," Tamara explained.
"You have six senses. That is how you experience the world. So, when you are constantly experiencing things, sometimes you need to calm down. Sometimes you need to remove something. Sometimes you need to be aware of how much you have taken in or have the capacity to take in.”
According to Apollo Neuro, an overactive sympathetic nervous system can cause issues like muscle tension, jitters, insomnia, etc. It can also lead to hyper-vigilance, the tendency to detect danger, even in its absence. By contrast, excessive tiredness, depression, and an overactive gag reflex can signal parasympathetic dominance. Fortunately, steps eight and nine emphasize easing an overactive nervous system.
4. Enjoy the company of good friends with laughter
“Laughter is a way to express emotion; it’s a great release. You are not in an inadequate space when you’re there [with friends].” As we know, laughter is good for the soul; it releases endorphins and helps you release things.
5. Purge your living space/get rid of clutter
Also known as “spring cleaning.” Constant mess or clutter is draining, and cleaning removes that negative energy. A great example Tamara uses is opening a window as it “can let out negative, stagnant energy. Many people do not realize that this practice is hoodoo-based.”
6. Unplug
Completely unplug or pick a day or time, and unplug. One way to do this is by turning off your phone. You cannot scroll through social media, talk on the phone, etc. Tamara recommended starting with 15 minutes and progressing from there.
7. Set boundaries
My personal favorite as I’ve gotten older. From a former people-pleaser, this is not an easy task. A lot of the pleasing we wrap ourselves up in is one of the main reasons we are spiritually drained. Setting boundaries is healthy; do things are your terms.
8. Do some Reiki
“Reiki energy balancing allows you to center yourself and clear that [negative] energy,” Tamara said. She further explained that it's like a church mother “laying hands on you.” Reiki is an energy healing technique that promotes relaxation and reduces stress and anxiety through gentle touch. Reiki practitioners use their hands to deliver energy to your body, improving the flow and balance of your energy to support healing.
Reiki practitioners are a conduit between you and the universal life force energy source. The energy flows through the practitioner’s hands to you. However, your Reiki healer does not always have to touch you for Reiki to work physically. “You can receive Reiki healing from long distances, like on the phone,” Tamara said. Instead, clients experience the energy through heat, cold, tingling, or pulsing sensations.
There are many benefits to Reiki. Reiki can:
- Promote relaxation, stress reduction, and symptom relief to improve overall health and well-being.
- Bring on a meditative state.
- Foster tissue and bone healing after injury or surgery.
- Stimulate your body’s immune system.
- Promote natural self-healing.
- Relieve pain and tension.
9. Breath/breathwork
“Breathwork is extremely helpful in moving any stagnant energy,” and that is why Tamara gives the people she works with a two-minute meditation that consists of breathwork. One breathwork exercise is placing your hand on your heart and feeling the movement of your heartbeat. Doing this technique for two minutes will recenter you and can be performed anywhere – office cubicle, home, etc. Even a deep belly breath, hold, then release is a great way to release stuck emotions.
“The process of inhaling brings in what we need, and that full exhale is letting go of what we do not [need],” Tamara said.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Johnce/ Getty Images
Originally published on April 13, 2023