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So...15 Men Told Me About What They LOVE During Sex
I've got quite a few male friends. Also, because of what I do for a living, I have many male clients too. While there are a billion-and-one reasons why I'm actually grateful to be able to say this, probably my top favorite one is that I get to hear a lot of men's innermost thoughts — things that sometimes they are hesitant to say because they're not sure how we'll take it and/or things they've never really felt comfortable being very open about and/or — and yes, this happens — things they never get asked their thoughts on and so, they never bring those things up.
Interestingly enough, this is something that falls into the "Door #3" category. Do men talk about sex? Y'all already know the answer to that. Yet when I asked 15 of them (middle names were used; usually are) about what they actually adore about what transpires during the actual act, I found the answers to be "Oh, really?" enough to share with y'all. With their permission, of course. #wink
Chavez. 25. Single.
"This is my kinda topic right here. Damn, I can only mention one thing? Hmm. I think what I like the most about sex is right when I enter into a woman. The sound she makes, the way our breathing shifts and how our bodies flow — damn, that's my s — t right there."
Kiran. 33. In a Relationship.
"This question needs to have a qualifier — if you're in a relationship or not. When I wasn't only having sex with one woman, I liked the newness of learning about someone's body that I had never been with before. That's seductive as hell. Now, I love to find a 'new spot' on my partner. It's like pushing a button that you didn't know led you to someplace you didn't realize you wanted to go."
Glenn. 27. Single.
"Assertive women are what I like. Someone who is like, 'We're gonna do it this way and you're gonna like it'. Women who just kinda lay there are boring. But a woman who likes to switch up positions, doesn't mind doing some tying up and tells me when it's time to go another round…that's the kind of sex that I'm all about."
DeShawn. 39. Married.
"I like it when a woman knows the difference between when I ejaculate and when I cum. My wife is really good at that. When she is able to give me an orgasm, my favorite part is trying to 'one up her' by trying to give her at least three more right after. Going down on her is my favorite way to do that."
Harold. 42. Divorced.
"It might sound wild but the thing I miss most about my ex is our sex life. Let's not get into all of that, though."
"Let me just say that what I liked was her dirty talk — barely above a whisper, nasty as f — k and super confident. People always talk about how visual men are. Yeah, we like to hear s — t too."
Armon. 35. In a Relationship.
"There is nothing like opening your eyes and seeing a beautiful woman on top of you. She's looking you dead in the eyes with a smirk on her face and riding you like she's about to eat you alive. Damn."
Gideon. 28. Single.
"Two things that a woman can't fake are her vagina contracting and her body getting wetter. That's why I don't understand how men can't pick up on ladies that fake it. Anyway, those are my favorite things. When you are in a zone and you can feel that you're turning your lady on, that s — t is absolutely amazin'."
Merlin. 29. Married.
"You ever spoon until you both cum and then fall asleep spooning in the same position afterwards? When you are so connected that you can have an orgasm at the same time and then you don't want it to end, so you let your man stay inside of you and you fall asleep like that? Get someone you can do that with all of the time. Nothin' better."
Michael. 44. Married.
"I like how my wife smells. I don't mean when she has an essential oil on. I mean, just her regular scent. It's crazy because when we're having sex, it's like I want to get as deep into her skin as possible — just take her all in."
Patrick. 23. Single.
"I like the time before intercourse happens. You both know that's where it's headed but you try and build up the anticipation for as long as possible."
"I know I probably seem young, but I've been having sex for a while and learning not to underestimate foreplay is the ultimate sex hack. When two people make each other want each other, that's when the sex is really great."
Orrin. 32. Divorced.
"I like getting my head pulled in. You know you're doing a great job going down on a woman when all she can do is breathe really fast and pull your head in. Hell yeah."
Hayes. 48. Single.
"There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like the taste of a woman. Her mouth tastes one way. Her skin tastes another way. And her walls — there's nothing like it. I can just lick and kiss for hours and be perfectly content. What's crazy is while women might think it's for them, it's actually for me. Tasting a woman is what I love the most."
Kristopher. 32. Single.
"'Round three is what I love about sex. The first one is all about getting the stress out. The second is about building some stamina. Three? That's when it's all about just enjoying your partner. There's no rush. There's no pressure. You're just 'in it'. I like being in it."
Danyel. 40. In a Relationship.
"You know what I really like? Undressing a woman. I like lingerie but I honestly don't care what she has on. It doesn't matter how long I've been with her either. The build-up of seeing different parts of her body as I go at my own pace…it's like unwrapping a Christmas gift, damn near every time."
Everson. 36. Single.
"Whenever a woman trusts you enough to let you literally enter into her being, there is no higher privilege. Might sound like a line to some but it's the truth. Being one with someone whose energy and spirit you vibe with already gives you a climax before one ever happens."
"Will never know how to get enough of that."
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Exclusive: After Focusing On His Career For So Long, David Banner Is Now Ready To Find A Wife
During the Fight Night: The Million Dollar Heistpremiere, David Banner, who stars in the film, opened up about his weight loss and his desire to get married and start a family. At 50, David has accomplished many feats, from rapping, producing, and acting, and now he's ready for the next phase of his life. "I want to get married," he tells xoNecole.
"I'm tired. I want to find my wife, have some kids. We chase all of these esoteric goals, and sometimes we look back, and we left the things that really matter. I looked up one day, I had all of them, the music accolades, the film accolades, not all the ones that I want, but a lot of them. I had accomplished my goal, had chased my goal so long that when I looked up, I saw that I ran off and left everything else."
He also shares how working in the entertainment industry can sometimes affect his life and relationships with others. "We forget to be human beings, and people don't allow us to be human beings," he continues. "So, that's the reason why I said what I said, because I know what y'all platform means, and I want people to know that there are still some human beings that's up on that camera, and sometimes we hurt too."
Back in 2016, the "Like a Pimp" artist released the single "Marry Me" and shared in an exclusive interview with us how he is working on becoming his best self for his future wife.
"I just want to be the man that most Black women want to marry. I want to be a Black man that stands strong," he said. "I'm not perfect, but [I want to be the man] women want to marry and that kids want to be their father. I want to be that man. [When I die] I want people to say that that's a strong African man, I am proud that he's a part of my culture."
During our most recent interview with the "Get Like Me" rapper, he also revealed that he lost 35 lbs and dished on how important it is to take care of your body. "I have this thing that I want to be our children's superhero on the screen and off, and people always talk about mental health, but part of your mental health is what you put in your body," he says.
"People always talk about God. People always talk about the church, but the real church is your body, your temple. So I am treating my body and my temple as if God is in there."
Fight Night is out now on Peacock.
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