Sisterhood has always been an uplifting relationship to observe.
There is an unspoken language there, a bond like no other. In a sister, you find your best friend, your confidant, and the source of some of life's biggest frustrations all in one. And despite that, you wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world.
Your sister shares something that is truly unique to your bond.
And even if you aren't born into the bond like so many other sisters, sisterhood can be a kinship that knows no bounds. In some cases, water is thicker than blood and you establish your roots in close friendship circles, adopting women who know you and helped grow you into a sisterhood all your own.
From content creators and influencers, to entrepreneurs and musicians, we spoke with sisters that find strength, empowerment, and success in sticking together, while embracing their differences. Here's what these sisters had to say about their crafts, and more importantly, their love for each other.
Coco & Breezy
Breezy & CocoCourtesy of cocoandbreezy via Leighton Pope
Entrepreneur twin sisters Coco and Breezy had to learn how to embrace their uniqueness along their journey as business partners. They own an eponymously named retail eyewear company and are an innovative DJ and producer duo. As twins, they know a thing about being two peas of a pod, while embracing their differences, and how it's transformed their productivity.
"Our sisterhood is unique because not only are we sisters, but we are twins. We are twins that shared a cell phone until we were 19 years old. When we first started our business, we didn't really embrace our differences. Once we figured out our own strengths, it helped us become a lot more productive. We also have a rule and say that there are no feelings in business. We don't allow our personal emotions with each other to affect our business decisions. Being an entrepreneur can also be an emotional rollercoaster," the twins shared with us in a statement. "There have been a lot of up and down times during our journey. Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
"Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Coco and BreezyCourtesy of @cocoandbreezy
"I absolutely love and admire Breezy for owning her sexuality and outspokenness. When we were kids — Breezy was the tomboy. I remember the day she wanted to come out to our family and friends that she preferred to date women. I told Breezy, 'if no one accepts you, we can live our lives with each other.' Once she told everyone, she had the best support from our family and friends." - Coco
"Coco is such a very strong woman. She doesn't let anything stop her show, no matter what she is going through. It's been so amazing to see her growth and to be a part of it! I admire her sense for bullshit! Coco does not play, and she is an amazing observer. Whenever we are in meetings or just around new people, she is most likely more quiet than I am because she observes body language. She has saved us from a lot of BS people with that skill!" - Breezy
Thaina & Patrice
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
Social media bloggers and content creators Thaina and Patrice have a sisterly bond that has helped them grow as women and professionally as lifestyle influencers. Though Thaina is older than Patrice, their differences teach them about one another and has contributed to their growing success.
"The older sister is often the one that knows more because she's experienced more time on this earth by default. That isn't our experience. I learn from her as much as she learns from me, so we're friends as much as we're sisters. We share the same interests and share that with the world, together. I believe when people see us they can also see the respect and adoration we have for another, even through photos on the internet."
Patrice adds that their individuality enriches their experience as a team, and that their differences in opinions are distinguished in their style and helps keep their visuals consistent with their shared content. "[We've] learned to develop an understanding and respect for each other's individuality, while also recognizing that our combined attributes are what helps us stand out in a completely transparent way. This has helped us both personally and professionally."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
"I think people see her pretty face, love for makeup, and zest for life and underrate her, but those that really know her also Know that she has so many rich and beautiful layers to her. If she lets you in, one thing you'll learn is that Patrice has resilience like no other! She has overcome the type of things that could make someone bitter, yet she always looks for the bright side, keeps it pushing, and actively searches for ways to turn her pain into ways to give. If I had to pick one thing about her that I love most, I think it would be that." - Thaina
"I admire my sister's ability to connect with others. Thaina has always been a woman of impact. Her genuine spirit allows others to feel comfortable and rely on her for personal advice. She advocates for others without the expectancy of anything in return. Since Thaina was a child she always looked for ways to give and it is most admirable that she was able to carry such beautiful trait throughout her adulthood. I love her for it." - Patrice
OSHUN
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
A blood sister bond is a beautifully unique relationship, but having a best friend who might as well have come out of the same womb as you is inspiring too. Case in point, the divine feminine musical duo and soul "sistars" Thandi and Niambi. For OSHUN, sistarhood means to be connected by something that transcends a blood bond. It means that you are linked by the soul.
As a neo-soul hip hop group named after the Yoruba goddess, OSHUN douses the world in black girl magic, preaching a message of spirituality, love, and peace while doing so. Together OSHUN have birthed tracks such as 2014's "Stuck" and 2017's "Not My President." Most recently, they've released Bittersweet, Vol. 1. "Our sistarhood supports us as women and artists. It allows us to nurture ourselves, nourish ourselves, and nourish the world. It allows us to grow, to evolve, and to be supported in that evolution because we have each other's backs. We constantly affirm and reflect each other, which reminds us to respect ourselves and the divine feminine in every form. We're super blessed to have this bond."
When it comes to making professional decisions, OSHUN uses their differences and respect for one another to strengthen their bond in sisterhood and professionally. "Every decision we make, we make together. We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars. Because we're so close, we have to handle our professional choices with care because they impact both of us, not just one or the other. That's on a business tip, financial tip, and even sometimes emotionally. We make our decisions with a lot of respect for each other and we're constantly thinking about one another when making choices."
"We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Photo by Alberto Vargas (@avargasphoto)
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
"I love and admire how Niambi is able to visualize so far ahead in her path. She can see the future so well, and that allows her to plan in advance like a true boss. She knows what obstacles to avoid before they even present themselves. Her vision is so clear." - Thandi
"I love and admire Thandi's drive. Once she makes up her mind about something, she's motivated to make it happen. She wakes up each day with purpose, and she carries that energy into every space she enters. It's refreshing and reaffirming." - Niambi
*Featured Image by Leighton Pope
Who's the Solange to your Beyonce in life, and what do you love about her? Let us know in the comments down below.
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
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Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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