Sisterhood has always been an uplifting relationship to observe.
There is an unspoken language there, a bond like no other. In a sister, you find your best friend, your confidant, and the source of some of life's biggest frustrations all in one. And despite that, you wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world.
Your sister shares something that is truly unique to your bond.
And even if you aren't born into the bond like so many other sisters, sisterhood can be a kinship that knows no bounds. In some cases, water is thicker than blood and you establish your roots in close friendship circles, adopting women who know you and helped grow you into a sisterhood all your own.
From content creators and influencers, to entrepreneurs and musicians, we spoke with sisters that find strength, empowerment, and success in sticking together, while embracing their differences. Here's what these sisters had to say about their crafts, and more importantly, their love for each other.
Coco & Breezy
Breezy & CocoCourtesy of cocoandbreezy via Leighton Pope
Entrepreneur twin sisters Coco and Breezy had to learn how to embrace their uniqueness along their journey as business partners. They own an eponymously named retail eyewear company and are an innovative DJ and producer duo. As twins, they know a thing about being two peas of a pod, while embracing their differences, and how it's transformed their productivity.
"Our sisterhood is unique because not only are we sisters, but we are twins. We are twins that shared a cell phone until we were 19 years old. When we first started our business, we didn't really embrace our differences. Once we figured out our own strengths, it helped us become a lot more productive. We also have a rule and say that there are no feelings in business. We don't allow our personal emotions with each other to affect our business decisions. Being an entrepreneur can also be an emotional rollercoaster," the twins shared with us in a statement. "There have been a lot of up and down times during our journey. Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
"Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Coco and BreezyCourtesy of @cocoandbreezy
"I absolutely love and admire Breezy for owning her sexuality and outspokenness. When we were kids — Breezy was the tomboy. I remember the day she wanted to come out to our family and friends that she preferred to date women. I told Breezy, 'if no one accepts you, we can live our lives with each other.' Once she told everyone, she had the best support from our family and friends." - Coco
"Coco is such a very strong woman. She doesn't let anything stop her show, no matter what she is going through. It's been so amazing to see her growth and to be a part of it! I admire her sense for bullshit! Coco does not play, and she is an amazing observer. Whenever we are in meetings or just around new people, she is most likely more quiet than I am because she observes body language. She has saved us from a lot of BS people with that skill!" - Breezy
Thaina & Patrice
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
Social media bloggers and content creators Thaina and Patrice have a sisterly bond that has helped them grow as women and professionally as lifestyle influencers. Though Thaina is older than Patrice, their differences teach them about one another and has contributed to their growing success.
"The older sister is often the one that knows more because she's experienced more time on this earth by default. That isn't our experience. I learn from her as much as she learns from me, so we're friends as much as we're sisters. We share the same interests and share that with the world, together. I believe when people see us they can also see the respect and adoration we have for another, even through photos on the internet."
Patrice adds that their individuality enriches their experience as a team, and that their differences in opinions are distinguished in their style and helps keep their visuals consistent with their shared content. "[We've] learned to develop an understanding and respect for each other's individuality, while also recognizing that our combined attributes are what helps us stand out in a completely transparent way. This has helped us both personally and professionally."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
"I think people see her pretty face, love for makeup, and zest for life and underrate her, but those that really know her also Know that she has so many rich and beautiful layers to her. If she lets you in, one thing you'll learn is that Patrice has resilience like no other! She has overcome the type of things that could make someone bitter, yet she always looks for the bright side, keeps it pushing, and actively searches for ways to turn her pain into ways to give. If I had to pick one thing about her that I love most, I think it would be that." - Thaina
"I admire my sister's ability to connect with others. Thaina has always been a woman of impact. Her genuine spirit allows others to feel comfortable and rely on her for personal advice. She advocates for others without the expectancy of anything in return. Since Thaina was a child she always looked for ways to give and it is most admirable that she was able to carry such beautiful trait throughout her adulthood. I love her for it." - Patrice
OSHUN
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
A blood sister bond is a beautifully unique relationship, but having a best friend who might as well have come out of the same womb as you is inspiring too. Case in point, the divine feminine musical duo and soul "sistars" Thandi and Niambi. For OSHUN, sistarhood means to be connected by something that transcends a blood bond. It means that you are linked by the soul.
As a neo-soul hip hop group named after the Yoruba goddess, OSHUN douses the world in black girl magic, preaching a message of spirituality, love, and peace while doing so. Together OSHUN have birthed tracks such as 2014's "Stuck" and 2017's "Not My President." Most recently, they've released Bittersweet, Vol. 1. "Our sistarhood supports us as women and artists. It allows us to nurture ourselves, nourish ourselves, and nourish the world. It allows us to grow, to evolve, and to be supported in that evolution because we have each other's backs. We constantly affirm and reflect each other, which reminds us to respect ourselves and the divine feminine in every form. We're super blessed to have this bond."
When it comes to making professional decisions, OSHUN uses their differences and respect for one another to strengthen their bond in sisterhood and professionally. "Every decision we make, we make together. We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars. Because we're so close, we have to handle our professional choices with care because they impact both of us, not just one or the other. That's on a business tip, financial tip, and even sometimes emotionally. We make our decisions with a lot of respect for each other and we're constantly thinking about one another when making choices."
"We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Photo by Alberto Vargas (@avargasphoto)
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
"I love and admire how Niambi is able to visualize so far ahead in her path. She can see the future so well, and that allows her to plan in advance like a true boss. She knows what obstacles to avoid before they even present themselves. Her vision is so clear." - Thandi
"I love and admire Thandi's drive. Once she makes up her mind about something, she's motivated to make it happen. She wakes up each day with purpose, and she carries that energy into every space she enters. It's refreshing and reaffirming." - Niambi
*Featured Image by Leighton Pope
Who's the Solange to your Beyonce in life, and what do you love about her? Let us know in the comments down below.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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