

Depending on what side of TikTok you’re on, you’ve been seeing an uptick in content about the 4B Movement. In response to South Korea having the world’s lowest birth rate, TikTok user @denimchromosome gave a brief synopsis of the movement on February 16. “Korean women are so done with Korean men that they’re literally just deciding to die out," she said in her post.
Decoding the 4B Movement
While the video is only 30 seconds, this user broke the movement down to its essence and sparked a broader conversation for people to fully dive into knowledge about the movement and why some Korean women have decided to fully commit to this push for gender equality and social justice.
What Is the 4B Movement?
The 4B Movement gained notoriety and prevalence in 2019 when a collective of Korean feminists decided they would no longer marry men (비혼 bihon), have children (비출산 bichulsan), date men (비연애 biyeonae), or have sex with men (비섹스 bisekseu). The name of the movement came from all four agreements, starting with the letter B in Korean. The women who have chosen to participate in this movement are doing so as a result of the blatant misogyny that exists in their society.
They are challenging the cultural norms of their country by removing themselves from the dating scene, ignoring the beauty standards and consumerism propagated toward women, and calling out the pay disparity in the Korean job market.
Go Min Hee, a political professor at Ewha Women's University in Seoul, told NPR, "Gender gap in education has disappeared with the declining number of children and growing attention to education.” As of 2003, women’s college enrollment rates in the region have surpassed men’s.
“But the income gap in the post-education labor market hasn't closed," she continued. South Korea has the largest gender pay gap in the developed world, as of 2022, women still made 31% less than their male counterparts.
In the same report, Jeong Han-Wool, head of the Research Institute of Korean People, shared “For a long time, patriarchal norms governed South Korean society. But those social norms dissolved with democratization, and I don't think we have established new norms that can fill the vacuum.”
Han-Wool said the 4B movement was ignited by the Me Too movement here in the U.S., which he said sparked a new wave of young feminists in South Korea.
While others don’t connect it directly to the movement, they do acknowledge that 4B emerged after multiple incidents of high-profile murders of Korean women, a rampant culture of revenge porn, and spy cam sex crimes were at an all-time high.
Additionally, there is blatant discrimination against women in the workplace; married women are often subjected to gender-based violence, and women are expected to take on the majority of household and child-rearing responsibilities.
The 4B Movement: Tackling Gender-Based Bias
sexual assaultDigital creator Ryan Carriger said, “Through amplifying the voices and the experiences of the movement, it can illuminate the far-reaching nature of gender-based bias and challenge the social structures that reinforce inequality.”
However, some, such as Anna Lee, have said that the Western media is sensationalizing this movement in South Korea. Despite the fact that reports from the country’s Ministry of Education support the quickly diminishing juvenile population, which many argue is a direct result of feminism. As of February 2024, 157 elementary schools throughout the country will have zero first graders. The lowest reported since the ministry began keeping records in 1970.
Likewise, because of the uptick in feminist voices, young men have shared their feelings of “reverse discrimination” and want the government to get rid of the Gender Equality Ministry in large part because it’s making the job market even more competitive.
Yet, this government entity focuses on more than career equity. One of its main purposes is to protect Korean women who are victims of gender-based crimes such as sexual assault and rape. Opponents of the government’s desire to dismantle this ministry believe it is a dangerous idea and will only lead to more harm toward women in the future.
As the online dialogue continues to build around the 4B Movement, many women from across the world are standing in solidarity with the women of South Korea. Some American women online are sharing a similar sentiment that they’ve already committed to the agreements of the 4B Movement in their personal lives without knowing it was associated with any deliberate social activism.
The 4B Movement: Decentering Men and Toxic Patriarchy
As many women’s studies scholars have found throughout history, to truly gain gender equality, you have to destabilize patriarchal systems and institutions. Activist, feminist, and author bell hooks once wrote, "Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. Decentering men is a central aspect of this movement." Judith Butler, a gender studies scholar, has further added that decentering men "does not mean erasing men or their experiences, but rather acknowledging that our social and political structures have been built around a narrow understanding of masculinity."
Yet, in true social media form, some of the discussions that are emerging online are demonizing, shaming, and insulting women who are choosing to distance themselves from men, that are collectively harmful to their overall well-being. Proponents of the movement are providing counterarguments to these videos.
Some people can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that there are women who would rather be single, have full autonomy over their bodies, and build a life that they want for themselves. Many naysayers of the 4B Movement are calling these actionsmisandry.
Carrieger disagrees with the notion that the movement is discriminatory against men and says, “Just as Black individuals have long fought against systemic racism and oppression, women have faced their own battles against gender-based discrimination and inequality.” He continues, “The 4B movement's call to challenge traditional gender roles and advocate for the empowerment of women reflects the struggle for equality that resonates within the Black community.”
The 4B Movement: Finding Common Ground for Social Justice
Historically, any oppressed group looking to gain equal citizenship in a society is always met with pushback, violence, shame, and blame. We saw it with America's civil rights and women's suffrage movements. We saw it with the anti-apartheid movement in South Africa and, most recently, with the women’s movement in Iran. This conversation could continue for hours upon hours, and the debates on whether women hate men could rage on for millennia.
The one piece of the conversation that some people are failing to address is that women, not only in Korea but globally, have decided they’d rather be single, child-free, and at peace than have to be subjected to constant trauma, discrimination, and abuse.
It goes without saying that not all men fall in line with patriarchal beliefs or disagree that there are toxic men in the world. However, this conversation is about a collective experience women around the globe share when it comes to their roles in a misogynistic world.
Even women who are in loving relationships and happy to be mothers have shared their understanding of why women would not want to have anything to do with men. Women standing up for themselves and not wanting to feel like second-class citizens isn’t an attack on men, but a call for them to be held accountable for their behavior, both past and present.
And for men to acknowledge that women play just as important a part in society as they do.
I’ll leave you with this quote from activist and scholar Angela Davis: "Decentering men is not about diminishing men or their contributions, but about recognizing that true liberation requires challenging all forms of oppression, including patriarchy."
This quote fully embodies the essence of the 4B Movement and similar movements that aim to decentralize men in our global society.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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