So you've got a job, and it pays the bills. You're not so concerned about being the best or getting promoted. You're just biding your time, giving the position just enough energy and attention to get by and keep it. Well, sis, this is a form of quiet quitting.
What To Know About Quiet Quitting
The term has made its rounds across the Internet, from TikTok to YouTube, to Reddit, to Lipstick Alley. But what exactly is it? How do you quit "quietly," and why is this something people are talking about?
With many becoming a part of that post-pandemic shift from the hustle mentality to the soft life movement, quiet quitting can be part of that journey.
What exactly is quiet quitting?
No, quiet quitting is not just never showing up at your job ever again, with no notice. And it has nothing to do with ghosting your company or shooting your manager a quick but politely written resignation email. It involves reducing your enthusiasm for doing your work and offering the bare minimum in terms of effort in completing tasks. It's not exactly slacking because you're fulfilling the duties your job requires, but there's no going above and beyond to be exemplary, innovative, or helpful other than doing the job you're paid to do and going home.
You've mentally checked out and just don't want to put in any extra effort toward thriving in your position or at your company.
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Why do people quietly quit?
The Great Resignation has led professionals to leave their jobs in record numbers during the aftermath of the pandemic, seeking more work-life balance, following their career dreams, and making more time for family and leisure, and those who might want to join that wave but can't for various reasons, are turning to quiet quitting. Researchers have found that the desire to quit or basically check out from even wanting to work for a company includes a "toxic" work culture as well as "failure to promote diversity," and "abusive managers."
Oftentimes, because of financial reasons, a quiet quitter won't actually leave their job. They simply can't just get up and walk out because they haven't yet found a better opportunity. They might also be pursuing a certain goal such as purchasing a home, financing a child's education, or supporting elders. They're building up their savings, using a job as a stepping stone, or simply aren't in a position to hit send on that resignation email.
Professionals have also expressed feelings of burnout, dissatisfaction or simply wanting to do other things, and they want to mentally focus on efforts to transition into a new job or lifestyle, so quiet quitting is also something they turn to in order to fill the gap while they're doing so.
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There's another side to quiet quitting as well: protest. Some professionals quietly quit because they don't feel valued and they want someone to know just how much value they actually dobring to the table. They withhold their best and no longer put in the additional work. It's like being in a lackluster relationship and refusing to do certain things you did at the beginning when your spouse seemed to cherish you. Instead of breaking up, you hold back, whether it's no longer sending those mid-day "I love you" texts, making homecooked meals, bringing them coffee in bed in the morning, or leaving little gifts around the house for no reason at all. In the case of a job, maybe you don't help that team member with the research for the next presentation, you're not coming in early, or you're literally clocking out at 4:59 p.m.
It may be a sign you need to actually...well, quit.
If you're finding yourself resenting your boss or job, coasting by with hardly any motivation, interacting with team members, clients, or customers with little to no enthusiasm, or finding ways out of even going to work, you might not want to quietly quit. It may be time to find another job or reevaluate what you want out of a career. The longer you stay at a job or in a position that's not advancing your intellect, skills, and life experience, the more disservice you're doing to your own mental well-being and career future.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak