We've all been there.
A tantalizing night of passion where you're riding your partner in wild abandon and both of you are at the edge of reaching that coveted climax. He gets distracted and guides your movements frantically as you ride your orgasm out, in effort to draw out his. And suddenly the pull out method for withdrawal becomes the Chris Brown, he can leave it in.
OK, OK, well maybe, it's just me. But I have no doubt that as a sexually active woman, you've encountered one or two scares during your lovemaking sessions. And it doesn't even have to be a shotty pseudo-contraceptive method gone wrong. It could be meds that you're taking that make your birth control less effective, you could have forgotten to take your pill altogether, the condom could have broken, or if your man has some of that black magic that allows him to ejaculate and keep going, you might be in need of a back up for the backup.
In any case, this is where Plan B comes in, more commonly known as the "morning after pill". The morning after pill is a single-dose emergency contraceptive, or EC, that women can use in instances where we need some last-minute protection to lessen the likelihood of conception after sex.
Here are a few other things you should know about the emergency contraceptive, morning after pill.
How The Pill Works
Pregnancy is never instant. It can be days (as many as five) between unprotected sex and actual conception as the sperm navigates through the reproductive system to get to an egg. Morning after pills delay that process, thereby preventing the union from ever happening. That's why the nature of the Plan B pill is most effective the soonest you can take one. Of note, the morning after pill is not an abortion pill so if you happen to take one and conception has already taken place, it won't harm your pregnancy.
Ulipristal Acetate vs. Levonorgestrel
Morning after pills can be found in a couple different forms. The most effective kind of morning after pill contains ulipristal acetate and is called Ella. Although not as easily accessible as other ECs available on the market, it is the most effective. Women can take Ella up to five days after having unprotected sex, with efficacy as strong on day 5, as it is on day 1. The catch is that you typically need a prescription in order to use this form of emergency contraceptive.
The most commonly and widely used morning after pill contains levonorgestrel and can be found over-the-counter in most drugstores (even Walmart and Target), with no prescription or consultation needed. These brands include Plan B One-Step and Take Action Emergency Contraceptive. These pills must be taken within three days in order to be effective, and unlike Ella, the sooner you take this pill, the better.
The Cost
The cost for a single-dose tablet of a morning after pill can range between $35-$50, sometimes more, depending on the kind of EC you go for. In times where it's been an emergency, I've personally gravitated towards OTC options, first Plan B One-Step, and then Take Action. Plan B is about $45, and Take Action is slightly lower at $35. With the same level of effectiveness, it was a no-brainer to go with the lower cost option. Next Choice One Dose lands at the lower end of that price range as well.
Because Ella needs a prescription, it might not be the best option out there for most women, especially when the name of the game calls for immediate action. Even still, if that's the route you go, Ella can amount to $50 or higher, not including overnight delivery costs that might be necessary for securing the pill.
As a just-in-case method to have on hand in your medicine cabinet, a generic brand called AfterPill can be purchased online for $20, not including shipping. That way if an accident happens and your budget is a little tight, you don't have to worry about how you will obtain an EC to prevent pregnancy.
Morning after pills might also be available at Planned Parenthood health centers and/or family planning clinics located near you.
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- Emergency contraception (morning after pill, IUD) - NHS.UK ›
- 3 Women Open Up About What It's Like to Take the Morning After Pill ›
- The Morning After Pill: What You Need To Know - YouTube ›
- Emergency contraception - Wikipedia ›
- Emergency contraception: Morning after pill and day after pill ›
- Morning After Pill - Plan B | Emergency Contraception | BirthControl ... ›
- Plan B (Morning-After Pill): Effectiveness and Side Effects ›
- 16 Things No One Tells You About The Morning-After Pill ›
- Everything You Need to Know About the Morning After Pill - Coveteur ›
- Morning-After Pill | Emergency Contraception | Cost & Info ›
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
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As the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
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Ouch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
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“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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