When I think of femininity, I think of all the things my mother raised me to be as a young girl, a young woman, and now as a whole grown woman. Clean. Elegant and eloquent. Respectful, disciplined, and tactful. Poised, proper, and presentable. As I am writing this, it reminds me of Daphne Bridgerton in the Netflix series Bridgerton. While I am still all of the things I mentioned, I am naturally casual, organized, independent, strong, focused, righteous, adventurous, analytical, and linear. And because of all of these things, I am accomplished. I have to be these things – this is how I succeed in a gender-biased society. But because of all these things, I am masculine. Sometimes, I even curse like a sailor and walk out of the house looking like a hot mess too.
And – nothing about that is feminine. At least not in the traditional sense of the word.
When it comes to tapping into your divine feminine, there are levels to this shit. I never knew I leaned masculine, let alone what masculine or feminine energy truly was until I started my own spiritual journey. But in this moment, I am not here to share that story with you. I am here to tell you becoming more feminine is a level of consciousness, self-care, and inner work that you must be open to doing. It's layers of learning, unlearning, and shedding.
Question – Unlearn what though? Answer – thoughts, patterns, behaviors, and more.
So, sit with me as I break this down for you.
What Does It Mean to Be More Feminine?
We're told being feminine is in a woman's presentation. It is how we appeal to society physically and how we present ourselves. It's about our hair, skin, and the shape of our bodies. It involves our choices in make-up, clothing styles, and color choices. Let's stop right here – this idea of femininity is all surface level and a societal standard told to us by men. I'm starting to sound a little feminist, but I don't mean to be and that's beside the point. Feminine energy is more than just physical. We are also told that femininity is behavioral. It is soft, modest, submissive, gentle, nurturing, and warm. Again, a societal standard that still scratches the surface of what it means to be feminine.
This definition of feminine energy is old, historical, traditional, and biased. Divine Feminine Energy is so much more than what we are told.
It is purely magical.
What Is Divine Feminine Energy?
Divine feminine energy has always existed. It is a concept that stems from spirituality. ABustle article states that consciousness is divided into two sides – masculine and feminine. Both sides are needed to become our highest selves. The Divine Feminine is concerned with a sense of self. It's a powerful energy that is associated with creativity, intuition, community, sensuality, and collaboration.
When you tap into your feminine energy, it helps build stronger relationships with friends, significant others, and colleagues. According to an article frommindbodygreen.com, feminine energy refers to how you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process. Divine feminine energy is not associated with or tied to gender. Both men and women equally possess feminine energy.
Tapping Into Your Divine Feminine Energy
There are several ways to tap into your feminine energy. It involves a level of self-awareness, consistency, and commitment to daily practices. Here are some ways you can tap into your feminine energy below.
Put Some Orange In Your Life
Orange is the color of our sacral chakra. It is located below the navel and centered in the womb. Our sacral chakra carries our feminine energy. It's where our creativity and sexuality live. You can eat foods like oranges, cantaloupes, tangerines, carrots, and sweet potatoes to help keep the sacral chakra balanced.
Co-Create Your Life
Get creative – we are on this earth to live and experience but also to create. Women have been given the gift and power to create human life through our bodies. But why should it stop here? We can create through artistic expression. This means writing, painting, singing, poetry, music, and dance. I have said this before, but I'll say it again – author your own life. Create the life you want to live with all the elements you desire in it.
Feel The Shit Out of Everything
Honor your feelings – but not just the good ones, feel the bad ones too. Cry, scream, yell, or smile. Do all of it. Your feelings are a thousand percent valid. Part of divine feminine energy is allowing yourself to feel every single emotion. And to reflect and understand why these feelings are brought about. Allow yourself to process your feelings and listen to how you feel. Ask yourself what this person, situation, or event is trying to tell you or teach you. Trust your intuition – let your feelings make your decisions rather than your thoughts. Your body will feel the answer before your mind starts to think of an answer.
Indulge In Pleasure
Do more of whatever brings you joy. This could look like enjoying food, wine, candles, or a bubble bath. This can also look like a walk in the park, hiking, rollerblading, or an impromptu beach day. It's your responsibility to be the love and light in your life. It's only when you have found your happiness that you're able to bring happiness into other people's lives. We often mistake pleasure for an event we enjoy with a person or a group of people. Sometimes it is, and other times it doesn't have to be. It's OK to enjoy moments alone. And If you enjoy sex, there is nothing wrong with self-pleasure. By all means, explore your body and give yourself that orgasm. You need it.
Be Open to Receiving
It is true – what we put out into the universe is what we receive. So, be aware of your thoughts, actions, and how you move through life. Being open to receive also means when you ask for something, you will receive an abundance of it. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, favors, or support when it's needed. Equally, there is nothing wrong with receiving compliments either. Embrace the love and light that comes your way, and then return it tenfold. It'll come back to you in ways you didn't imagine before.
Watch Your Divine Feminine Transform Your Life
When you tap into your feminine energy, it enables life transformation. I am a living example, like many other women who have tapped into their feminine energy. It's a type of energy that is restorative, inspirational, and vibrant. It is gentle, warm, and playful.
Connecting with your divine feminine is a powerful journey that will help you discover your superpower, soul's purpose, and become more aligned with who you are. And once you learn these things and start to live in your purpose – consider yourself unstoppable.
You begin to thrive. Your dreams start to manifest. Your life unfolds the way it was meant to. The process of transformation is scary but necessary to shed the old to create the new in our lives.
We all have feminine energy, but we tend to let our masculine energy dominate. And balancing both energies is not easy. You have to constantly check in with yourself. Sometimes you have to put yourself in check too. Feminine energy requires you to build a relationship with yourself. And if you haven't heard this already, your relationship with yourself is the greatest relationship you will ever have.
So, are you ready to tap in?
I invite you to reawaken your divine feminine. I invite you to step into this journey of self-exploration.
I promise you won't regret it.
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
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Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Cardi B, who endorsed Harris, said she felt "really sad" after Trump's win and, in an Instagram Live, added, “I swear to God, I’m gonna f**k you up. Get away from me! I’m sick of you!” referring to Trump supporters.
The Aftermath of Kamala Harris' Loss
Supporters react as Democratic presidential nominee, U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris concedes the election during a speech at Howard University on November 6, 2024, in Washington, DC.
Brandon Bell/Getty Images
Shavon Arline-Bradley, president and CEO of the National Council of Negro Women (NCNW), told The Guardian that Harris’s campaign of inclusion and strong support from the Democrats’ most loyal voting block – Black women – could not withstand “the wall of white nationalism and racism and classism and sexism and misogyny.”
Another woman told the publication that when she “woke up on 6 November and saw that Trump had won the election,” she was “disgusted, disappointed, just annoyed, really annoyed.”
While feelings of disgust, annoyance, fear, anger, and anxiety might be quite justified considering the contentious nature of Trump’s campaign, his felonious background, his statements on foreign policy, and the violent behavior of his supporters, there are key lessons from Harris’ loss that can we all can be inspired by.
As Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, the first woman elected to become president of an African nation, wrote for AllAfrica.com, “Seeing Kamala on the campaign trail, strong and resilient, gave girls and women everywhere a vision of what's possible. Her journey reminded us all that setbacks don't define you; they shape you.”
“This campaign has shown that even when the ultimate goal is just out of reach, the courage to try again matters. Women are ready, willing, and more than capable. The path may be tough, but it is also wide open.”
Here are a few more reasons Harris’s loss shows the power of failure and how we can learn more from a failure than from success:
1. Failure builds resilience unlike any win could.
Oftentimes, tying the word “resilient” to Black women can seem like a problematic broken record, but the truth remains that resilience is a vital trait for leaders in business.
As actress, producer, and entrepreneur Issa Rae has said, “You didn’t fail. You’re still alive. Are you stopping? … You have an opportunity to continue. … I grow and I get better.” Before producing and starring in HBO’s Insecure, she’d taken a break from college to pursue shopping a script in Hollywood and going for that full-time and failed.
That was at least 20 years ago. She’d press on to launch her own YouTube show that later morphed into a top-rated iconic HBO drama. She and the Hoorae Media team have brought several other scripts to screen, with Rap Sh!t, A Black Lady Sketch Show, and Sweet Life: Los Angeles, to name a few.
2. Failure allows us to exercise our ability to pivot, innovate, and incorporate new strategies and approaches.
One good and pivotal example of this is Oprah Winfrey’s foray into launching a network. According to the Los Angeles Times, she famously said, “A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness,” a key notion when, during the early days of launching her network, the ratings were tanking. OWN just didn’t offer what was marketable or competitive at the time.
The network adjusted its offerings, adding reality TV and celebrity-focused programming as part of a larger plan to compete in the market. Today, it’s seen record ratings quarters and continues to offer top shows like Queen Sugar, Belle Collective, and the Love & Marriage franchise.
When the Lip Bar founder Melissa Butler appeared on Shark Tank in 2025, all five investors rejected her idea, calling the lipsticks “clown makeup” and “colorful cockroaches.” Butler took one of the judge’s more constructive feedback, becoming the face of the business, and more than a decade later, the brand is a multi-million-dollar company with an expanded line of cosmetics sold in large retailers like Ulta Beauty and Target.
3. Failure prompts a bold humility that allows for authentic connection with others and better servant leadership.
Oprah has also said, after Beloved was noted as a “flop” by her agent at the time, “It taught me to never again–never again, ever–put all of your hopes, expectations, eggs in the basket of box office. Do the work as an offering, and then whatever happens, happens.”
The best leaders know that they’re not the smartest in the room, must sometimes lean on and help others in order to truly be great in their role, and that humility is a quality that leads to sustainable success.
Think about these words from another woman who is a clear leader in her lane: “I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall,” tennis champion and investor Serena Williams told The National. “I have fallen several times. Each time I just get up and dust myself off and I pray, and I’m able to do better or I’m able to get back to the level that I want to be on.”
What Could Be Next For Kamala
While there are no confirmed reports of Harris’ plans once she’s officially out of office in a few months, there are many options for further civic involvement, advocacy, legislative change, and even another run in 2028. One expert points to the fact that the previous candidate, John Kerry, lost and came back as a cabinet member in the Barack Obama administration.
(It’s also worth noting that Shirley Chisholm, the first Black candidate to seek a major party's nomination for President of the United States, and the first woman to run for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination, continued serving in the House of Representatives after an unsuccessful bid for the nomination. In 1977, she was elected as Secretary of the House Democratic Caucus.)
Other experts say there’s the option of running for Congress or governor to make an impact in those roles. She could also start her own law firm or serve in other ways within the private sector.
If Harris is holding to the values and drive she exhibited in the 107 days she had to campaign for U.S. president, this isn’t quite the end for her legacy, and this so-called “failure” will only be a catalyst for an even greater movement toward service and advancement.
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