
Everything You Need To Know About Enneagrams - The Ultimate Personality Test

Whether it's with Jesus, horoscopes, the Myers-Briggs test, prayer, or a heightened level of spirituality, it seems as though everyone is currently on the "self-discovery" train. And to be honest, I'm here for it! Knowing yourself gives you the opportunity to function at your absolute best.
For all of those who truly want to be provided with the tools to uncover their authentic selves, there's a new resource that's been all the rage on Instagram lately, and that's the enneagram.
The Enneagram is a self-discovery personality typing system that provides insight into who you are and why you operate the way you do. It teaches that there are nine distinct personality types in this world and that everyone identifies with one of the nine types. Have you ever wondered why you react to certain things the way you do? Well, enneagrams explain all of that, including the things you never knew about yourself. Talk about being in your business!
Though not a new personality typing system (the enneagram was discovered by a Christian monk in the early 1900s), it's still very much relevant and useful today. It literally offers you the key to getting unstuck by helping you peel back the layers that have shaped you in order to get to the core of who you are. Once you're self-aware, you're able to avoid the roadblocks that prevent you from your performing at your best.
After you discover your personality type and research it, you'll have tons of a-ha moments, with answers to questions you've always had about yourself. The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery beautifully explains that the purpose of knowing your type "is to develop self-knowledge and learn how to recognize and dis-identify with the parts of our personalities that limit us so we can be reunited with our truest and best selves. The point of it is self-understanding and growing beyond the self-defeating dimensions of our personality, as well as improving relationships and growing in compassion in others." I'm warning you now that enneagrams come for your WHOLE life all while helping you get yourself together!
It's also important to point out that no number is better than another number. Each type has amazing and not-so amazing qualities. Your type doesn't have to define you. You can choose this knowledge of self as a resource to break free from the weights that try to hold you down so that you can soar into the beautiful you that you truly are.
Finding Your Type
The nine personalities of the enneagram system are equally divided into three triads with the gut, heart and head triads. The gut triad houses type 8, 9, & 1; the heart is home to types 2, 3, & 4 while 5, 6, & 7 are in the head triad. The triads indicate what motivates you whether it's instinct (gut), feeling (heart) or fear (head).
The 9 Different Types
Type 1: the perfectionist is rational and idealistic.
Type 2: the helper is caring and interpersonal. generous, people-pleasing and possessive.
Type 3: the performer is success-oriented and pragmatic.
Type 4: the romantic is sensitive and withdrawn.
Type 5: the investigator is analytical, detached and private.
Type 6: the loyalist is committed and security-oriented.
Type 7: the enthusiast is adventurous and fun.
Type 8: the challenger is commanding and confrontational.
Type 9: the peacemaker is easygoing and accommodating.
Identifying Your Wing, Stress and Security Numbers
Okay, so I know you may have been a bit skeptical. I mean, how could this world that hosts more than a billion people only have nine distinguishing personality types? Sounds a bit insane, right? Don't worry, enneagrams dig deeper into your life than just giving you a number. No one is purely one type. There are also wings, stress and security numbers that further personalize your personality type. Because there's just no way that every one out nine humans are exactly the same.
Wings are the two numbers on either side of your number. You'll find that you identify with one of the two numbers more than the other, the number whose characteristics you mostly share is your wing. Most people describe their type as such, for example, "type 4 wing 5".
Stress and security numbers are the numbers you tend to embody when you are under stress or at your best. When you're stressed, you'll pull from the more negative qualities of your stress number, while you'll pull from the positive qualities from your security number when you're most secure. For instance, though you may be a type 3, you might act more like a type nine (peacemaker) when you're stressed and a type 6 (the loyalist) when you're at your best. A combination of your type, wing, stress and security numbers make up the fabric of your unique identity.
Discovering Your Enneagram Type
There are tons of tests on the internet that you can take to find out your enneagram. A great test is from the EnneagramInstitute.com which costs about $12 per test. You can also click here to take a free enneagram personality test.
To dive deeper into the world of enneagrams, some great Instagram accounts to follow are @brushandbarley, @enneagramandcoffee and @justmyenneatype.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Build A Personal Brand Based On Your Personality Type
What Exactly Is An Ambivert? How To Tell If You Are One
If You Want To Get To The Root Of Things, Try My One-Word Test
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Hailing from Los Angeles, Monique Love is a faith-based, lifestyle writer and founder of the digital magazine, WithLoveByLove.com. Through her writing, she encourages millennial women to boldly love themselves and Christ all while navigating the everyday world. For updates and her latest stories, follow her on Instagram @withlovebylove_ and on her site WithLoveByLove.com.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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