One of the things I've always loved about being a woman is the level of exploration that comes with our bodies and discovering what feels good. When it comes to coming, many of us have found and mastered clitoral orgasms, especially ones derived from self-pleasure. And while vaginal orgasms might feel more elusive to most women (studies show only 25 percent of women experience orgasms consistently during vaginal penetration), you might be surprised to learn that orgasms don't have to be either or, they can be blended too.
Vaginal and clitoral orgasms are among the most common orgasms, but sex experts suggest that there are actually 12. A blended orgasm is exactly what it sounds like -- an orgasm that is experienced from the stimulation of two or more types of orgasms. What makes these orgasms even more sought-after is how intense they feel.
According to sex therapist Dr. Donna, LICSW, M.ED, blended orgasms can be achieved by stimulating the parts of your body that are most prone to giving you an orgasm. "The most common way to get the blended orgasm is to stimulate the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time for a blended orgasm. BUT there are all types of orgasms, including anal, nipple and cervix. Some combo examples of blended orgasms include g-spot/clit; nipple/clit; nipple/g-spot; if you are into a good eargasm, then that can be added into the nipple, clit, g-spot, anus, etc. combos," Dr. Donna explained.
"Really, the possibilities are nearly endless."
My personal favorite? A one-two combo that consists of kissing (yes, you can orgasm through kissing alone) and clitoral stimulation, but I've also been able to achieve blended orgasm from a mix of g-spot/clit (especially in the spooning position, oh my God). My most recent experience with a blended orgasm involved me on my back with my legs open and his body positioned hovered above me with an adept knee placed at my wet heat.
The experience was new to me, but I used his outer thigh to rub my clit against while we kissed. And maybe it was our mutual high from the weed we smoked minutes before, but my senses were heightened and I was on fire. He drank my moans of ecstasy as I began to fall from the edge, crashing down with electric heat. The end result is galvanizing.
When you have an orgasm, you sometimes don't believe it can get any more intense than it already is, but it does. And it can.
What Is A Blended Orgasm & How To Have One
When You’re Solo Dolo...
The perfect segue into blended orgasm territory during your self-pleasure sessions is by using a toy that can stimulate the hit the g-spot and clit all at once. To do so, Dr. Donna recommends utilizing a rabbit, or a toy like it (I recommend this one -- thank me later). "Plus, it will leave a hand free to stimulate your nipples and breasts."
As with anything pertaining to sexual pleasure, a great baseline or foundation for having orgasms is discovering the hot spots you have through masturbation. I always say that it's difficult to teach a student lessons when you haven't learned the curriculum yet yourself, and that sentiment rings so true in the bedroom. "Know your own body so that you can teach your partner(s) how to get you there. Then experiment with the other types of stimulation and see what combos you can string together."
And once you know yourself and what gets you off like the back of your hand, you're ready for our next pointers.
When You’re Coupled Up...
Of course, adding a partner (or partners) will amplify the playing field, in addition to providing more methods to meet your blended peak. Dr. Donna suggests the use of toys here too - specifically toys that stimulate your clitoris while your partner puts in the work of bringing pleasure to your g-spot, anus, nipples, lips, or anywhere else that brings you to your climax.
As for optimal sex positions, Dr. Donna notes doggy style as a real crowd-pleaser for the blended orgasm prize. "I would say doggy style gives the best g-spot access while not interfering with toy use, or your partner can reach around and stimulate the clitoris. Reverse cowgirl is also a great position for stimulating multiple areas at once," she continued.
Equipped with these tips, you'll master the art of blended orgasms in no time at all. I know I did.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
How To Achieve A Simultaneous Orgasm
My First Orgasm Gave Me The Best Sex Of My Life
Self-Pleasure Changed How I Experience Sex
Featured image by Shutterstock
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
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Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
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What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak