I’ve got a girlfriend (who’s been married for over 35 years, mind you) who is very low-maintenance when it comes to her vagina. In her mind, so long as she washes her kitty cat on a daily basis, she’s done her part. I mean, she never talks about having any “issues” down there (and we speak pretty freely), and she has been married for damn near four decades (salute!) — so, I guess the minimalist approach suits her and hers just fine. LOL.
Me, though? The more time that I spend on this earth with my vagina (and vulva), the more it fascinates me — and the more I want to learn about how to enjoy “her” better and more. And that’s pretty much why I keep cranking out “the more you know” pieces on the vagina…and her surrounding areas.
What’s up for today? Ten things that don’t really come up in conversation — when the vagina is openly discussed, that is — that may sound weird at first, and yet, they can actually bring a smile to your hoo-ha’s face (umm, so to speak) if you’re simply willing to give them a shot. Are you ready to see what those things are?
1. Pistachios
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Okay, so whoever likes pistachios, please hop into the comments and break it all down for me. There aren’t too many foods that I absolutely don’t understand, but that nut (and dill)? Uh-huh. LOL. Still, as a writer, I’ve gotta share more than what I like, and so, when it comes to a healthy snack, pistachios are actually pretty damn impressive. They’ve got a lot of fiber and a ton of protein and are a solid source of copper as well as vitamin B.
Plus, pistachios are packed with antioxidants, can help you to achieve/maintain your weight goals and they help to keep your cholesterol levels where they need to be, too. And why would your vagina not mind if you chomped on a few of these nuts? Something else pistachios can do is help keep your arteries in good condition so that blood is able to flow freely. If you know anything about what makes for a good orgasm, you know that excellent blood circulation plays a significant part.
2. A Metal Spoon
Can you guess what a metal spoon can do for your vagina? Well, if you can’t seem to find your favorite sex toy or you want to get a bit creative, a metal spoon can certainly come in handy. If you freeze it first, it can be pretty damn stimulating if you’re into temperature play, or if you add lubricant to it, the texture of the metal spoon, along with the moisture of the lube, could make for an unexpected orgasm — especially if you lightly tap your clitoris or move the spoon on it in a circular motion.
3. Kudzu
In Asia, kudzu is considered to be a type of arrowroot. In America, it’s a weed. Either way, if menopause-related symptoms are causing you to experience vaginal dryness, consuming some kudzu could help to bring about some relief. Plus, since some studies say that it’s also an all-natural remedy for inflammation and headaches — I mean, what could it hurt to at least give it a shot? (You should be able to find it at your local vitamin or health food store in capsule or extract form.)
4. Condom-Covered Food
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If you’ve heard that you should never put food into your vagina — the answer is yes and no. I mean, without getting too deep into it, a frozen banana (that has the peel taken off of it) caressing some spots ain’t never hurt nobody…so long as a condom was placed over it first.
Yep, therein lies the trick if you want to get a little creative with some of those edible aphrodisiacs. You can always cover them up with a prophylactic or two, add a bit of lube, and then dive in (again, so to speak). Just make sure that the food is a solid and that it’s well covered up first. The last thing you want to do is spend half of the night trying to dig out some banana strings, otherwise known as phloem bundles — umm, I heard. #wink
5. Tugging
One day, semi-soon, I will pen a piece about the various types of vaginal massages that are good for you. For now, I’ll just say that if you’ve never given yourself this type of massage before, you are totally missing out, sis. — including when it comes to tugging. Warming up your fingers and using your thumb and index finger to gently “tug” at your clitoris (or clitoral hood) and then allowing the skin to “bounce back” can provide a stimulating sensation that is a great stress release or an enticing form of foreplay…if you want someone else to do the tugging instead.
6. Pickles
Since 80 percent of your immunity is in your gut, it’s important that you prioritize its health; probiotics are one way to do that, and fermented foods are packed with them. The connection between probiotics and your vaginal health is they can help to give your vagina the type of “good bacteria” that can keep infections at bay. One type of food that can get you the probiotics that you need is pickles — fermented ones, that is.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Aren’t all pickles fermented?” the answer is actually, no. The other ingredient that can give pickles their tanginess is vinegar, so if you want a fermented one, look for pickles that say that on the packaging, or you can always ferment your own (instructions for how to do that are located here).
Hey, pickles also have antioxidants, are a good source of vitamin K, and are a low-calorie snack, so if you enjoy them, now you can feel really good about it.
7. Frankincense Oil
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Ugh.Ingrown pubic hairs are the absolute worst, ain’t they? Although doing things like exfoliating your skin prior to shaving your pubic region (if shaving is what you do) and replacing your razor blade after every 5-7 uses can help to keep ingrown hairs from becoming too much of a problem, if you’ve already got one, try applyingsome frankincense oil to it.
Thanks to its strong antiseptic properties, applying a bit of the oil to an ingrown hair can help reduce swelling, clean out any bacteria, and even lessen any discomfort that may be associated with the inflammation that comes from the bump(s). Just make sure to use it externally, not internally. Essential oils can burn like a mutha otherwise.
8. Cortisone Cream
So, what happens if, after shaving your va-jay-jay, some incessant itching follows? Honestly, one of the best remedies to bring you almost instantaneous relief is some good ole’ cortisone cream. It relieves itching, reduces swelling, and it can help to get rid of redness and other forms of irritation, too. Just make sure that you apply it to the outer part of your vulva; you can sting and further irritate your inner labia otherwise.
Oh, and if you’d prefer a more chemical-free approach, try a mixture of coconut oil and tea tree oil. Coconut oil’s antimicrobial properties and anti-inflammatory properties can help to soothe skin issues (including eczema), and tea tree oil can soothe itching and kill irritating bacteria on contact as well (although it’s not recommended that you use it to treat eczema; it is good for psoriasis, though).
9. Crotchless Panties
I’ve always found crotchless panties to be sexy. I’m not exactly sure why. Actually, now that I’m putting some real thought into it as I’m writing all of this out, I think it’s because I like the concept of lingerie so much, and crotchless drawers make it possible for you to be both dressed up and naked at the same time.
Plus, let’s not act like they don’t provide easy access (which makes them hella convenient), along with the fact that they allow your vagina to breathe without being irritated by popular lingerie fabrics like lace (which is always a good thing). Anyway, there goes my quick commercial for why every woman should own at least a couple of pairs of crotchless panties. Do you?
10. Peppermint
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If you’ve never brought menthol into your boudoir, why the hell not? Not only does it help to provide an incomparable type of tingling sensation, but menthol also has the ability to trigger the feeling of cool receptors in the body — which means that it can be another type of temperature play (who knew?).
What I personally like about peppermint (or wintergreen) especially is it can be great for the giver as well as the receiver as far as oral sex goes. For the giver, it’s a nice taste, and for the receiver, it gives all the feels. So, keep some peppermint candy by your nightstand. It’s a sweet (pun intended) move.
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There you have it — pseudo-quirky things that your vagina (and vulva) will thank you for.
Just try it and see.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak