OK, so guess what penis means. Believe it or not, it's from the Latin meaning of the word "tail". Yeah, it's gonna be that kind of article today, y'all—an article that highlights some things about penises that I personally found to be pretty interesting, so I thought that some of you might dig them too.
Now let me just say that if you're a longtime reader of this platform, there might be a part of you that feels like this is a bit of déjà vu. To a certain extent, you would be right because it was actually around this time last year when I wrote "15 Pretty Tripped Out Things You May Not Know About Penises". You can pretty much look at this as a "part two" of that piece because one, knowledge is ever ending and two, there are some different points that I'm about to share with you now.
So, whether you're naturally curious about penises or you simply want to blow your man's mind with intel that he probably doesn't even know about his own member, here are 12 penis-related things that, on some level, just might trip you (or him) out.
1. Penises Have Three Tubes in Them
In life, nothing is really as simple as it seems. For instance, did you know that penises actually have three tubes/cylinders in them? There's the corpus spongiosum and two corpora cavernosa and they're all inside of a sheath known as the bucks fascia. The corpus spongiosum is made of up spongy tissue that surrounds a man's urethra; it helps a guy's urethra from closing up whenever he experiences an erection. That way, semen is able to come out of his urethra whenever he ejaculates.
The corpora cavernosas are also made up of spongy erectile tissue yet they have arteries in them. They are what help a man to have an erection because, whenever he becomes aroused, they fill up with blood and make his penis hard. After he ejaculates, blood leaves those tubes and returns back to other parts of the body. And just how much blood is in each erect penis? Roughly four shot glasses worth. Kinda crazy, right?
2. Penises Can Literally Deadlift
Contrary to popular belief, penises do not fall into the category of being a muscle. A penis is an organ that exists for the purpose of urination and sexual intercourse. And since it's not a muscle, how is it that a man by the name of Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng was once able to—wait for it—pull an entire truck along, just using his penis? A part of it is due to him working out his pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. Those muscles act like a sling which helps to keep all of a man's pelvic organs in the right place and position. And just how does a man work these muscles out? With kegels.
As a bonus, kegels can also increase blood flow which can give men a longer, fuller and stronger erection. It can also reduce the chances of him experiencing incontinence, including the dribbling that sometimes happens immediately following urination (you know, the kind that leads to pee on the toilet seat).
A brief walk-through on how a man can do kegels is located right here.
3. An Erection Can Get a Man All Up in His Feelings
Remember how in the movie Love Jones, Savon said that when a man has an erection, the blood from his head and feet go to his penis which means that he can't think or run? There actually is a bit of truth to that. A popular study from MIT and Carnegie Mellon University once reported that when men have a hard-on, they find pretty much anything that's presented to them to be sexually stimulating; stimulating to the point of even being willing to say they love a woman in order to get her into bed (which is why you shouldn't ask, "Do you love me?" for the first time during sex, y'all). It's also true that how a man is feeling at any given time can prevent erections from happening, especially when it comes to stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, relationship drama and low self-esteem. Bottom line, erections are connected to emotions…contrary to popular belief/assumption.
4. Penises Get Bigger During Fellatio
This one serves as more of a reminder because I actually mentioned something about this a couple of years ago in the article, "15 Super Random (& Weird) Facts About Sex". Anyway, if you want your man to get a little bigger, guess what would definitely help? Fellatio. While it might sound like some bullshishery that some random man made up, there is actually some scientific research to back up the fact that men who receive head experience larger erections than men who simply fantasize. I mean, when you think about how pleasurable oral sex is, I can totally see how this could be the case. Anyway, just another tripped out thing to put on record.
5. Erections Tend to Happen All Day Long (Kinda)
Ever wonder how many erections a man will experience before the end of his life? It's somewhere around 7,200. While a lot of these are due to sexual arousal, sometimes, they aren't. In fact, most men have somewhere around 11 erections a day; 7-9 of them are during the night while he's asleep (which makes "morning wood" make so much more sense). An ex of mine used to get one whenever he enjoyed a meal. So yeah, don't assume that every hard-on is sexually related. Oftentimes, it's not.
6. Circumcised Penises Can Be Safer. Sometimes Less Pleasurable Too.
As far as circumcision goes, nearly all Jewish and Muslim men in the world are circumcised. A lot of Christians are as well because it's mentioned in Scripture (Genesis 17). As far as safety goes, many health professionals are all for men going through this procedure because foreskin (what uncircumcised men still have) contains a lot of what are known as Langerhans cells. Something interesting about these cells is they are quite vulnerable when it comes to being infiltrated by HIV (more on this in a sec).
What's a trip about that fact is, at the same time, uncircumcised men tend to give their partners more consistent orgasms. The reason being is the extra bit of skin rubs against the sensitive nerve endings inside of our vaginas, creating a more intense sensation.
So, as far as if it's better or not to be circumcised, I guess it all depends on how you look at things.
7. A “Dirty” Penis Can Lead to HIV
Speaking of HIV, when it comes to this particular point, when I say "dirty", I don't mean a lack of hygiene. What I'm referring to is stored up bacteria that can collect on the tip of a man's penis, ultimately making him more susceptible to getting HIV. Long story short, something known as anaerobic bacteria can cause inflammation, draw the T-cells that HIV targets and up the chances for ultimately becoming diagnosed by the virus. This is just one more reason why condom-wearing is so important; especially for uncircumcised men because it's easier for the bacteria to lodge within their foreskin.
8. Some Men Suffer from “Penis Anxiety”
When it comes to body image issues, while I know that it's usually us who gets the most press, men experience it too, including when it comes to their penis size. Although the average one is around 5" and some change when they're erect, some men are so consumed by if their penis is large enough that they convince themselves that their partners aren't satisfied, even though 85 percent of women reportedly are.
If you've got a man who you sense is going through a bit of this kind of internalized stress, have him read, "BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go". Some women will get first in line to say that a big thang ain't all that it's cracked up to be. If all it is, is big and he doesn't know how to work it…it ain't.
9. Controlling Erections and Ejaculations Can Be Somewhat Difficult
There are a few different reasons why men typically have a—no pun intended—hard time controlling their erections and ejaculations. For starters, there are three different kinds of erections. There are psychogenic erections which come from fantasies, nocturnal erections which transpire while they are sleeping, and reflexogenic erections that happen due to some direct form of stimuli. Since a man can have a fleeting thought or rub up against something at any given time, you can see why erections aren't always in their control.
As far as ejaculations go, on the sexual tip, men actually go through similar phrases towards having an orgasm as we do—arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. However, it's wise to keep in mind that a man having an orgasm and a man experiencing ejaculation are not automatically one in the same.
Orgasms is about a series of muscle contractions, period. This means that some men can actually ejaculate without climaxing at all (which is why 1 in 4 men claim to have faked orgasms before; if you wonder why they would…if you've faked it before, why did you?).
Anyway, while edging can somewhat delay an orgasm, when a man is on the verge of ejaculation, it's pretty hard for him to keep it from transpiring. That is, unless he's become a master at retrograde ejaculation. That's kind of another article for another time, though (if you're curious, you can read more about it here).
10. Very Few Men Wear Condoms During Sex
I've heard folks—both men and women, by the way—say that if you really want to know a woman's "body count", you should take whatever she said and add three more people to the total. I'll let y'all debate over that on your own time. I'm just bringing it up because that's what came to my mind when I read that only one-third of men said that they wore condoms. The real catcher was even those who said that they don't do it all of the time (so that makes me think that even the one-third aren't being completely honest). With 45 percent of pregnancies in this country going on record as being unplanned and a whopping 376 million new STI/STD infections being diagnosed, worldwide, on an annual basis—chile, you'd better require a condom out here. That ridiculous "Meat 2 Meat" song that I've been hearing ain't worth it in the long run.
11. Cock Rings Are a Sex Toy Must-Have
Not too long ago, a male friend and I were having a conversation about cock rings. He had recently purchased one and was hesitant to try it. If you've got a man who is the same way, share with him that a cock ring the kind of sex toy that is able to help him to maintain a harder and longer erection; that it intensifies sexual stimulation and, if it's a vibrating one, a cock ring can also significantly ups the chances of him experiencing a blended orgasm with you.
Does something this good have a downside? Good question. If your partner is taking a blood-thinning medication, has a penile injury of some sort, is diabetic or has some sort of heart-related disease, a cock ring probably isn't the best idea. At the very least, he needs to talk to his doctor before making the purchase. Oh, but if he gets the green light, it's gonna be Christmas and the Fourth of July, simultaneously, in your house. Just you watch.
12. The Penis Has All Kinds of Spiritual Meanings
One more. As far as how a penis is perceived on a spiritual plane, pagans revere it as being a symbol of creativity while also being a connecting link between what's human and what's sacred (I totally get that). Ancient Hebrews viewed circumcision of the penis as an established covenant between God and man (which is why many Christians still choose to circumcise their sons to this day). The penis of the Hindu god Siva is referenced many times in sacred teachings that reference him and, to the ancient Greeks, the penis represented divine power and intelligence. Last year, when I wrote about how to give a man a lingam massage, I mentioned that in tantra, the penis is referred to as being a light wand. Hmph. Seems like almost everywhere you look, the penis has a profound spiritual meaning. Definitely something to think about the next time that you decide to…experience one. #wink
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Create a Budget. Stick to It.
GiphyBudgets, boy. I recently read that one of the reasons why they don’t work for a lot of people is because many folks don’t have a clue about how much money they spend on a monthly basis to begin with. SMDH. That said, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that a budget is simply setting boundaries/limits on your spending — and being intentional about moving in this fashion is always a wise move; especially when it comes to this time of the year…especially being that it’s typical for half of all Americans to take on some type of holiday season debt with 17 percent needing six (or more) months to pay it off.
Know what can prevent this kind of financial chaos? A SPENDING BUDGET. Tips for how to create one of your own this year can be found here.
2. Never Shop When You’re Stressed or Pressed
GiphyYou know how they say that it’s not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? Although the holiday season can be a stressful time, avoid shopping for gifts (or décor or food for recipes) when you are feeling stressed out or pressed for time. More times than not, that cultivates anxiety which could cause you to either purchase things that you don’t really want or to spend money that you don’t really have (P.S. If you’re relying on credit cards, that qualifies as money that you don’t really have. Just sayin’).
3. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses
GiphyKnow something else that can stress you out: trying to keep up with the Joneses. And y’all, now that we have social media, the reality is that envy is at an all-time high. That’s because it can be really easy to watch holiday engagements, holiday trips and folks bragging about the things that they’ve received in times past, only for you to find yourself wishing that you were them — or putting pressure on yourself and those in your world to keep up.
Listen, it is King Solomon who once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) and “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 — NKJV) and he’s considered to be the wisest man who ever lived (during his time — I Kings 4:30). Yeah, both of these verses are a spiritual reminder that whatever you are planning to do or give, do it out of the goodness of your heart — not so that you can low-key “outdo” the next guy.
4. No Need to “Tit-for-Tat”
GiphyThis one might be a bit controversial yet I’m totally okay with that. I don’t care what the occasion is, no one is OWED a present. A gift is a voluntary token of one’s appreciation or affection. That said, if you decide to give someone a present this year, don’t automatically expect something in return. If you get something, cool. If not, if you were giving for the right reasons, it really shouldn’t matter (RIGHT?). On the flip side, if someone decides to get you something and you don’t have something to offer in return, also cool.
Other than going to someone’s home for a holiday dinner or party, for anyone to feel like they should have something in hand because someone else does…that’s not giving, that’s competing — and that absolutely should not be the spirit that you are in (or around) during this time of year.
Again, a gift is not an obligatory thing. If you’ve always thought otherwise, it’s time to do some serious reprogramming.
5. Avoid the Pressure to Buy for Lots of Adults
GiphyLast month, Newsweek published an article that said it’s wise to not spend a ton of money purchasing gifts for adults. A financial expert in the piece said that it’s best to buy for kids because, more times than not, you’re going to get adults something that they already have a lot of, they don’t really need or they’re not going to use (beyond maybe regifting) anyway.
If you’re not feeling that insight, my take would be to exchange names and set a price cap for the grown folks. I say that because, I don’t think that people ever outgrow wanting something over Christmas. It’s just that the over-the-top energy should be reserved for the kiddies — and even then, the “4-gift rule” (want, need, read, experience) is probably your best bet for them…financially and otherwise.
6. Go for Thoughtful over Expensive
GiphyIt’s kind of wild how much close-to-torture folks send themselves through to purchase gifts that, a good 6-8 months now, most folks aren’t even going to remember. That’s why it’s also a good idea to purpose in your mind to get something thoughtful over expensive.
Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why Etsy continues to be a go-to for gifts (for every occasion) for me. It’s because you can oftentimes get things customized/personalized which ends up meaning so much more to people than something that you bought at a generic department store that might have a high price tag yet still lacks in sentimentality and deep meaning.
7. Use Coupons and Promo Codes
GiphyCoupons (and promo codes) are a slippery slope in the sense that…they remind me of when I used to go overboard while thrift store shopping. I say that because, just because I might find several bomb dresses for under $20, what am I going to do with 50 of ‘em (over time)? It’s just as much of a waste of money as buying couture if neither option gets much use.
And that’s kind of the thing about coupons and promo codes. Some people end up overspending because they rationalize that so long as there are discounts attached, it’s all good. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should forego coupons and promo codes altogether. The key is to put together your shopping list (and budget) and then use discounts specifically for those items. If you do this, you could save well over $1,000 annually (at least, depending on what you decide to buy).
8. Avoid Add-Ons
GiphyYeah. Dodge add-on expenses. Add-ons like what? The first thing that comes to my mind is a warranty. What’s the chance that someone is actually going to need that? Another example is paying for things to be “professionally” gift wrapped. Chile, throw that stuff in a gift bag with some tissue paper and go on about your day. All good.
9. Rethink Gift Cards
GiphyIf there is any time of the year when there is a noticeable hike in gift card purchases, now would be it. And although they are a convenient approach to gift giving, at the same time, many come with hidden fees, the full amount oftentimes goes unused (which ends up being a waste of money) and they do come with expiration dates that are oftentimes forgotten.
So, if you’re someone who likes to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping, resist the urge to impulsively pick up a handful of gift cards. Unless it’s to a place that you know someone is going to use within the next few months, they could end up in somebody’s kitchen drawer for the next couple of years. And what a waste that would be.
10. They’ll Get It When They Do. And That’s Okay.
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GiphyOne more. Although it is super thoughtful and proactive to get people their gifts in time for whatever occasion you purchased them for, if trying to reach that goal is going to require paying for rush shipping that is damn near as high as the price of gift or spending a lot of gas money that you don’t have at the moment to drive miles and miles away — take the pressure off to spend a ton of cash just to make sure that something arrives at December 25. Listen, through doing business with Etsy, I have learned that through this administration, there are all sorts of tariff issues going on and the USPS is slower than ever too, so paying more may not guarantee much.
The hack? Send a message that something special is coming…soon enough. The thought really is what counts (more times than not); plus, it builds anticipation of something good coming, even if it’s after all of the Christmas Day hoopla. And no one (with sense) is going to have a problem with that.
Now don’t you feel better? Happy Holiday Shopping, sis.
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