To the excitement of many socially conscious readers, HBO has aired a long-awaited documentary: Say Her Name: The Life and Death of Sandra Bland.
Sandra Bland, a Chicago native, was each and every one of us. She was a 28-year-old daughter and sister, who graduated from a Texas HBCU, Prairie View A&M, on a band scholarship where she studied social justice issues. She was planning to use her degree in order to make her dreams of police reform and other areas of social justice for the Black community come true.
With the time that she dedicated to her video blog, Sandra would have surely been a woman to watch, but her life was sadly taken away from her. On July 13, 2015, she was stopped by a Texas State Trooper, falsely arrested on a felony charge, and faced a $5,000 bail on that fateful Friday evening. By Monday, she was dead and found hanging from a noose. It was implied that this nearly 6-foot tall woman, with a fire inside of her to change the world as she knew it, committed suicide in her jail cell.
Initially, this news induced a knee-jerk reaction from our community, urging the Black Lives Matter movement to acknowledge that police brutality was not only being experienced by Black men.
However, once footage was released of a justifiably irate Sandra speaking in defense of her innocence during the traffic stop, a question arose if somehow she brought her death upon herself. The outcome of the investigation of Sandra's death resulted in the officer who started the aggressive verbal confrontation being fired but not being charged with more than a misdemeanor. Her family was awarded $1.9 million in a wrongful death suit, which is more than many other families received who have fallen victim to losing their loved ones at the hands of those who are supposed to protect us. Her sister Sharon Cooper spoke with The Root about her beloved Sandy, sharing:
"She mattered to an immense amount of people; she had a village that genuinely loved and cared about her; and quite frankly, I think she's given rise to a generation of change makers. She's given permission to be unapologetic about being seen and heard and being treated with a sense of dignity. Because I do genuinely believe that that was what she was trying to show in that moment in her traffic stop is that she deserves to be treated with dignity just as much as majority counterparts."
HBO has released the explosive documentary, Say Her Name: The Life and Death of Sandra Bland, where we are able to hear accounts directly from Sandra family, legal team, and from law enforcement officials who will vividly paint a picture of the events surrounding Sandra's death. Eerily enough, there is narrative from Sandra herself gathered from her vlog "Sandy Speaks". Cooper explains:
"I think it's really eerie and ironic that she's able to narrate her own documentary; it's really something. She really leveraged social media for good, even speaking on topics that aren't even that popular and that make people uncomfortable. But change doesn't come from comfort; it comes from getting uncomfortable."
It is a relief to know that Sandra did not die completely in vain and her name will live on through our rage over the loss of her life. The family will likely never know the full details of what happened to her because of the misinformation and lack of information given to them. At the very least, we will be able to humanize Sandra and other victims who have become popular names and hashtags.
With injustices such as these occurring in our society, there can be a feeling of helplessness in our community. A question of, what now? To that I say, we keep her name alive.
We fight. We vote. We cry. We protest. We seek and spread more information. We let the feeling of loss resonate in our souls. We do anything in our power to not become desensitized to the loss of innocent lives, especially at the hands of those who are ordained to serve and protect us. We resist.
We #SayHerName.
Tune in to the documentary, which is now airing on HBO and HBO2, and click here to check out the trailer.
Featured image by Monica Schipper/Getty Images for HBO
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
