Here I am. Ready to discuss something that a lot of us think about yet aren't necessarily or entirely comfortable with discussing — the smell of our coochie. First, let me say that anything that has to do with what makes us a woman is something that we should be cool with talking about (straight up). Then let me add that before getting into these 10 points, if you are trying to make your vagina smell like a bed of roses or a fruit basket, that is never gonna happen. The reality is our vaginas house a ton of bacteria — both good and bad. This means that sometimes it's gonna smell a little on the sour side (like tangy-like). Other times, it may smell like a copper penny (like around our periods). Other times, it may mimic molasses; still not a big deal. The main thing to look out for is a fishy odor or an ammonia-like scent. If this is the case, that typically points to an infection of some sort (one you should see your doctor about).
However, if the smell you're currently dealing with is more in the lane of body odor (which usually happens due to a lot of trapped sweat which is why you should almost always wear cotton undies) or one that is just not-so-fresh, I've got a few things that can help to get things back on track, so that you can feel more confident about how things are looking — well, smelling — down below.
1. Balance Your Vagina’s pH
When it comes to this point in particular, I actually just recently wrote an entire article on it. If you check out "Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced" on our platform, you can learn more about what a pH balance actually is, things that can throw it way off and how to get it "back to the middle" (cue India. Arie). For now, I'll just say that when it comes to keeping your vagina smelling like it's supposed to, a lot of the other "hacks" that I'm about to share wouldn't be all that necessary if your pH level is straight. However, the following nine can play a direct and significant role in helping to make that happen, so let's keep going.
2. Eat Less of Sulfur Foods
Sulfur is interesting in the sense that it's a chemical in your body that helps your system to produce various amino acids. Because of this, it's beneficial in fighting dandruff, relieving allergy-related symptoms, lowering high cholesterol levels, clearing up acne, helping to unclog arteries and so much more. That's the good part. The downside is it can cause your vagina to smell not so great because sulfur has a bit of a bad egg smell due to some of the compounds that it oftentimes contains. For this reason, eating a ton of foods that have sulfur in it could make your vagina smell a little on the unpleasant side. So, if you're a huge fan of stuff like onions, garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, kale, eggs, walnuts, beef or turkey — while I'm not saying to go without these foods (because they are also really good for you), if you sense that your vagina isn't smelling so great, scale back and see what happens. Less sulfur in your system might just be the key.
3. Consume Kefir
Gee. I wish I had become a fan of kefir a lot earlier in life because, now that it's a part of my diet, I can really tell the difference.
If you're not familiar with what it is, kefir is a fermented food (in drink form) that has the texture and consistency of liquid yogurt yet a probiotic content (two to 10 billion colony-forming units compared to the mere 50 million that's in yogurt) that is totally off of the chain. This is good to know because, within your vagina, there is both good and bad bacteria. When the bad bacteria takes over, not only can that result in irritating health issues like a yeast infection, it can also cause odors from that area to arise.
So, whether you choose to drink kefir straight or do something like pour it into a smoothie, try and add it to your regimen. Like I said, I have and have absolutely no regrets.
4. Snack on Pineapples and Watermelon
Speaking of consuming things that will make your vagina smell better, anything that will help to give your immune system a boost is always a good idea — including foods that are loaded with Vitamin C. The reason why I specifically listed pineapple and watermelon here is because they both are great at promoting gut health (which also helps your vagina to smell good and healthy). Also, while your vagina will never taste like a pint of ice cream (it wasn't designed to), the extra antioxidants in both of these fruits can help it seem, just a little bit on the sweeter side.
5. Take a Neem Oil Supplement
Something else that you might want to consider doing is taking a neem oil supplement.
Neem is a natural herb that has some pretty potent antifungal, antiviral and antibacterial properties in it. This is good to know because, when it comes to your vagina, not only can it help to speed up the healing process of STDs such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes (it doesn't replace antibiotics, it just helps your system to recover faster), it can also help to protect vaginal infections from occurring — ones that could result in your vagina being not so fresh.
While some people like to soak in neem leaves or drink it in tea form, another route is to take a neem oil supplement. As a bonus, the fatty acids in it can help your skin to glow as it fights aging signs.
6. Use a Menstrual Cup
Although I used to wear them in college and a part of my 20s, on this side of wisdom, I'm not a fan of tampons. Like my mother used to oftentimes say, "that blood is designed to flow out". Indeed. As far as pads go, besides all of those fibers not being the best for the environment, they can actually be the cause of vaginal odor during our cycle. While I was in my 40s before I got a hold of a menstrual cup, it really has been life-changing for me. It's comfortable. There's far less leaking. And I don't smell a thing. So, if you've yet to try one, maybe this will be the lil' push that you need to at least give one a try. (By the way, if you have a high cervix like I do, the one that I adore on a whole 'nother level is the INTIMINA Lily Cup. Thank me later.)
7. Drink Mint Water
Something that your vagina is full of is mucous membranes. Basically, they provide a protective fluid inside of your vagina. In order for them to function properly, you need to consume the standard 6-8 glasses of water on a daily basis. If you really want to be intentional about your vagina smelling good, add some fresh mint to your glass. Mint contains antibacterial properties that reduce bacteria all throughout your system, your vagina included. Mint is also high in fiber which helps to keep you regular which helps to keep toxins out of your system — which is always good when you want to smell great in your nether regions.
8. Put Apple Cider Vinegar and Baking Soda into Your Bathwater
Something that I personally think kinda sucks yet "such is life" is the fact that hot showers and baths have a tendency to throw our pH balance off. So, what temp should your water be? From what I've researched, it needs to be just a tad above your normal body temperature which puts it at around 90° F and 105° F (32° C – 40° C). Anyway, on the days when you want to take a long soak (check out "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?"), it can't hurt to pour a cup of apple cider vinegar (the kind with the mother) and a half cup of baking soda into your tub. The antibacterial and antiseptic properties in the vinegar will flush out toxins and remove bacteria from your vagina (and vulva) while the baking soda will help to deodorize your genitals. For the record, you don't need to do this every time. Just when you notice that your vagina is a little "too tart" smelling, your vagina/vulva is irritated or you want to feel a little extra fresh.
9. Make a Peppermint or Oregano Oil Spray
Oregano is an herb that derives from the mint family. As far as your vaginal health is concerned, some people use it as a way to fight the overgrowth of candida; that's because it contains really potent antibacterial properties, the kind that fight "bad bacteria". That's why you might want to also make an oregano spray out of distilled water and pure oregano oil. Just fill a small spray bottle up and add 10 drops of oregano oil. If you're about to go work out, spray a bit of the combo onto your pubic mound (not directly into your vagina). It can fight odor-causing bacteria so that odors won't arise.
10. Practice Proper After-Sex Protocol
Sperm/semen can throw your vagina's pH levels way off which can also result in your vagina not smelling too awesome. That's just one more reason to go with a condom when you're getting it in (check out "10 Things You Should DEFINITELY Know About Condoms" and "10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable"). Yet if that's not how you get down, while it might seem all romantic 'n stuff to lay up with your partner for hours after climaxing (I mean, here's hoping, right?), it really is a good idea to follow a bit of an after-sex protocol which includes peeing right after sex and taking a bath, if you can.
An article that I wrote for the platform entitled, "Here's How To Care For Your Vagina AFTER Sex" can give you a play by play breakdown. I mean, it's not like he can't join you in the water if you want (check out "So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better"). That way, you can get a 2-for-1 deal — another round and a healthy va-jay-jay. Simultaneously. Dope.
To learn more about all things vaginal health and wellness, check out the xoNecole Women's Health section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
____
Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images