

All that most of us want out of life is to be happy. *Cue Kirk Franklin*
As simple as it sounds, why does it seem so hard? It feels like this lifelong journey that makes it almost impossible to know if we've arrived. Yes, there are moments that make us happy, from good food to even greater friends and family. But in general, are we really happy with our day to day lives?
Sometimes we don't realize that we're not happy until we face an obstacle and wonder why it took such an emotional toll on us.
For me, I had to evaluate several aspects of my life. I was a people pleaser who cared way too much about what other people thought, and I was cock-blocking myself from living my best life. It wasn't until I got to a point where I intentionally started embracing a happier life that I started to actually live one.
1.What Makes You Happy? Do That.
Think about the moments when you were at your happiest in life. What were doing? What made you laugh? What was it about those moments that you enjoyed?
Whatever it is, do more of that.
As much as we want it to, happiness doesn't just come to us whenever we want, or even whenever we need it. Thank God for the unexpected and pleasant surprises that make us happy, but we have to be intentional about going after what we know will make us smile and laugh. Taking advantage of even the smallest moments that put a smile on your face and doing more of it will make a world of difference in your happiness.
2.Know That You Deserve It
You know those times when we cheer on other people like, "Yaasss! Go bestfriend, that's my bestfriend!"?
Is it just me or is it really hard to do this for ourselves? To some, having pride is somehow associated with being conceited. In reality, it's not bad to cheer yourself on at all. Not doing it brings on this subconscious theme that we don't deserve good things like other people do. This can definitely mess with your happiness.
So whether it's those small moments like when your eyebrows finally come out the way you've been practicing, or major life changing moments like getting engaged or earning a major promotion at work, don't hesitate to let yourself know, "She did that!" just like you would for anyone else. Start doing this and watch your happiness flourish.
3.Don’t Focus On Things You Can’t Change
The popular serenity saying about knowing the difference between the things you can and cannot change is some real stuff.
A lot of times the frustration out of life comes from trying to change things that we simply can't and then focusing on and complaining about it. I can't lie, a lot of the times it feels good in the moment to have a vent session. But if you come out of it feeling the same with no solution, it does more harm to your happiness than good.
The more we talk about a situation or person we can't stand, the worse that situation will seem to be. And the only thing that's getting impacted is your happiness. I've had to learn myself that the sooner we come to terms with what a situation really is, and that we have no power to change it, the happier we'll be.
To be clear, this doesn't apply to a toxic situation or even social change that we're continuing to strive toward.
4.Help Make Others Happy
It's like when you're taking a picture of a group of people and smile behind the camera as if you're actually in the snapshot. There's just something about putting a smile on someone else's face that makes us happy.
Of course, there's a heavy line between this and just living for other people and completely forgetting about yourself. It's really about service and thinking of ourselves less. As important as our own happiness is to our well-being, it's also essential to take moments to get outside of ourselves and invest in someone else's happiness. Doing this really has a crazy way of boosting your own joy.
5.Know That Comparison Kills
Clearly not literally, but comparison does have the potential to kill your happiness and your dreams. There have been so many times where I'm completely content with where I am in life until I scroll on social media and see someone around my age (or even younger) making moves that I haven't even fathomed. Yes, I can celebrate them, clap it up, and put the heart emojis under their posts. But at times, it makes me feel like I'm supposed to be doing more.
In actuality, I know I'm right where I need to be.
Still, when comparison creeps in, it can make anyone question so many things and have us going in a direction that's not for us. I've realized that celebrating others, especially women, when they reach their goals and do amazing things, doesn't mean I have to try and get in their lane. It actually makes me feel more confident about my own.
In essence, realizing the toxicity of comparison and being intentional about not letting it get the best of you, is essential to being happy.
6.Phone A Friend
Having a close-knit circle of friends and relationships is a major key to your happiness. They let you know you're not doing this thing called life alone.
As humans, we thrive off of friendships and relationships. Even if you're not a people-person, everyone needs at least a couple of good friends they can talk to about anything. With friends and family, you experience so many ups and downs together. But having them with you during the down moments and vice versa helps you live a happier life.
7.Live For YOUR Happiness
Big ups to all my people pleasers. I can't even say this used to be me because I still legit struggle. Making decisions that I know are best for me, that people who are close to me have an issue with, is not easy at all.
But at the same time, I know I'm not going to be completely happy until I do what I want in life. Whether it's a career, or even eating a burger, if it's not something that's dangerous and harmful to you, who cares what anyone else thinks about it? Life is just way too short to live it for other people; especially in making decisions you don't want to, just to make others happy.
When it comes to your own life, your happiness is what matters the most.
Featured image by Giphy
- 20 Simple Ways to Live a Healthy, Happy Life ›
- 10 Ways to Be Happier - Real Simple ›
- 15 Essential Habits for a Happy Life | Live and Dare ›
- 11 Ways to Live a Happier Life, According to a Psychologist (Hint ... ›
- 4 Ways to Live A Happy Life - wikiHow ›
- How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today ›
- 16 Things to Let Go to Live a Truly Happy Life ›
- 103 Ways to Live a Happier Life ›
- 15 Simple Ways to Live a Happy Life | HuffPost ›
Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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This Moisturizer Comes With A Built-In Sculpting Tool—And It Lowkey Changed My Skincare Routine
Gua sha, essence, serums, moisturizer, and SPF are a few of the many steps incorporated in an everyday skincare routine. However, it’s easy to skip a step or two to save time.
And in my case, I’ve wondered how crucial it would be if I slack on an essence or gua sha routine, so my routine doesn’t feel as extensive. With skincare routines getting longer, I always appreciate a two-in-one product.
Now and then, the beauty industry releases a two-in-one product that makes life worth living again. One of those brands is REFY.
The Hype Behind REFY's Face Sculpt Moisturizer With Built-In Roller
The company shook the industry when it first released its REFY Glow and Sculpt Face Serum Primer With Niacinamide. Now they’ve come out with a moisturizer version of the product. The Face Sculpt by REFY is the world's first moisturizer with a sculpting piece attached.
The product aims to lift the skin while hydrating it at the same time. This is music to my ears, since it’s one less step I have to take separately and still get my facelift.
Face Sculpt by REFY is the "world's first facial sculpting moisturizer that instantly lifts, defines and hydrates."
REFY
Key Ingredients in REFY's Sculpting Moisturizer: What Your Skin Will Love
Before I try any product, I always look at the ingredients. It’s important to know what's going on with your skin. Doing this extra step can help you learn the benefits or risks you’re up against. I love that this moisturizer is filled with glycerin and provitamin B5.
Glycerin is incredible for deeply hydrating the skin, which is essential since I have dry skin. Provitamin B5 is an ingredient I rarely see in most skincare products. It’s excellent for calming the skin and reducing redness. This can come in handy on mornings when your skin is puffy and needs to calm down.
How To Use REFY’s Face Sculpt Moisturizer for Best Results
When applying the product, I learned that patience is key. Rolling the moisturizer into your skin won’t melt in as quickly as using your hands. I found this beneficial since it meant the moisturizer was slowly working its way into my pores, instead of forcing it in. I worked the “roller” in upward motions to ensure I got the face lift effect I sought.
Although the facelift didn’t come instantly, I knew it would come in time if I were consistent enough—four weeks to be exact.
REFY
Four-Week Facelift or Nah? My First Impressions
The website shows various final results after using the moisturizer for four weeks. Several women are posing with pride, showing off their final results. There was a slight difference in lifting for each face. In addition, their smile wrinkles have subsided.
I look forward to these results as I continue to use this product consistently. I encourage everyone to check out the results on their website, as they're worth looking into before you start.
After using this product immediately, I noticed a noticeable difference in hydration. The moisturizer created a luminous effect on my skin that I deeply appreciated. I also loved how much it helped with lymphatic drainage. Since I had to work in the moisturizer, the rolling motions helped smooth out my skin. Allowing for a depuffing effect before starting my day.
Final Thoughts: Is REFY's Face Sculpt Worth It?
I give this product a 10 out of 10. It's perfect for all skin types, but especially those looking for a subtle face lift. With patience and commitment, your skin can be perky and ready for the day!
Remember to roll day and night so your skin can stay plump.
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Featured image by insta_photos/Getty Images