

All that most of us want out of life is to be happy. *Cue Kirk Franklin*
As simple as it sounds, why does it seem so hard? It feels like this lifelong journey that makes it almost impossible to know if we've arrived. Yes, there are moments that make us happy, from good food to even greater friends and family. But in general, are we really happy with our day to day lives?
Sometimes we don't realize that we're not happy until we face an obstacle and wonder why it took such an emotional toll on us.
For me, I had to evaluate several aspects of my life. I was a people pleaser who cared way too much about what other people thought, and I was cock-blocking myself from living my best life. It wasn't until I got to a point where I intentionally started embracing a happier life that I started to actually live one.
1.What Makes You Happy? Do That.
Think about the moments when you were at your happiest in life. What were doing? What made you laugh? What was it about those moments that you enjoyed?
Whatever it is, do more of that.
As much as we want it to, happiness doesn't just come to us whenever we want, or even whenever we need it. Thank God for the unexpected and pleasant surprises that make us happy, but we have to be intentional about going after what we know will make us smile and laugh. Taking advantage of even the smallest moments that put a smile on your face and doing more of it will make a world of difference in your happiness.
2.Know That You Deserve It
You know those times when we cheer on other people like, "Yaasss! Go bestfriend, that's my bestfriend!"?
Is it just me or is it really hard to do this for ourselves? To some, having pride is somehow associated with being conceited. In reality, it's not bad to cheer yourself on at all. Not doing it brings on this subconscious theme that we don't deserve good things like other people do. This can definitely mess with your happiness.
So whether it's those small moments like when your eyebrows finally come out the way you've been practicing, or major life changing moments like getting engaged or earning a major promotion at work, don't hesitate to let yourself know, "She did that!" just like you would for anyone else. Start doing this and watch your happiness flourish.
3.Don’t Focus On Things You Can’t Change
The popular serenity saying about knowing the difference between the things you can and cannot change is some real stuff.
A lot of times the frustration out of life comes from trying to change things that we simply can't and then focusing on and complaining about it. I can't lie, a lot of the times it feels good in the moment to have a vent session. But if you come out of it feeling the same with no solution, it does more harm to your happiness than good.
The more we talk about a situation or person we can't stand, the worse that situation will seem to be. And the only thing that's getting impacted is your happiness. I've had to learn myself that the sooner we come to terms with what a situation really is, and that we have no power to change it, the happier we'll be.
To be clear, this doesn't apply to a toxic situation or even social change that we're continuing to strive toward.
4.Help Make Others Happy
It's like when you're taking a picture of a group of people and smile behind the camera as if you're actually in the snapshot. There's just something about putting a smile on someone else's face that makes us happy.
Of course, there's a heavy line between this and just living for other people and completely forgetting about yourself. It's really about service and thinking of ourselves less. As important as our own happiness is to our well-being, it's also essential to take moments to get outside of ourselves and invest in someone else's happiness. Doing this really has a crazy way of boosting your own joy.
5.Know That Comparison Kills
Clearly not literally, but comparison does have the potential to kill your happiness and your dreams. There have been so many times where I'm completely content with where I am in life until I scroll on social media and see someone around my age (or even younger) making moves that I haven't even fathomed. Yes, I can celebrate them, clap it up, and put the heart emojis under their posts. But at times, it makes me feel like I'm supposed to be doing more.
In actuality, I know I'm right where I need to be.
Still, when comparison creeps in, it can make anyone question so many things and have us going in a direction that's not for us. I've realized that celebrating others, especially women, when they reach their goals and do amazing things, doesn't mean I have to try and get in their lane. It actually makes me feel more confident about my own.
In essence, realizing the toxicity of comparison and being intentional about not letting it get the best of you, is essential to being happy.
6.Phone A Friend
Having a close-knit circle of friends and relationships is a major key to your happiness. They let you know you're not doing this thing called life alone.
As humans, we thrive off of friendships and relationships. Even if you're not a people-person, everyone needs at least a couple of good friends they can talk to about anything. With friends and family, you experience so many ups and downs together. But having them with you during the down moments and vice versa helps you live a happier life.
7.Live For YOUR Happiness
Big ups to all my people pleasers. I can't even say this used to be me because I still legit struggle. Making decisions that I know are best for me, that people who are close to me have an issue with, is not easy at all.
But at the same time, I know I'm not going to be completely happy until I do what I want in life. Whether it's a career, or even eating a burger, if it's not something that's dangerous and harmful to you, who cares what anyone else thinks about it? Life is just way too short to live it for other people; especially in making decisions you don't want to, just to make others happy.
When it comes to your own life, your happiness is what matters the most.
Featured image by Giphy
- 20 Simple Ways to Live a Healthy, Happy Life ›
- 10 Ways to Be Happier - Real Simple ›
- 15 Essential Habits for a Happy Life | Live and Dare ›
- 11 Ways to Live a Happier Life, According to a Psychologist (Hint ... ›
- 4 Ways to Live A Happy Life - wikiHow ›
- How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today ›
- 16 Things to Let Go to Live a Truly Happy Life ›
- 103 Ways to Live a Happier Life ›
- 15 Simple Ways to Live a Happy Life | HuffPost ›
Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
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Feature image by Peter Dazeley/ Getty Images