What does your dream life look like to you?
Success looks different for everyone, including Devi Brown who believed success and happiness would come in the form of an amazing career in radio.
After the LA native secured her first internship at a local radio station, she felt as though she had found her home and quickly worked up the ranks in a field that she was very passionate about. Her work ethic did not go unnoticed, and by the age of 24, she was summoned to New York where she snagged a gig alongside Sway Calloway as the co-host of Sway In The Morning, as well as a stint on MTV's Hip Hop POV.
At the height of it all, she was also proposed to by her soulmate, NFL star Duane Brown.
She was living the dream. Or so she thought.
Although she had everything she could have ever imagined, she still did not feel happy.
"Unfortunately, at that moment in my life, I wasn't practicing enough self-care. I didn't feel as happy as I should be. At a certain point, I felt like I became a stress addict and I was wearing stress like a badge of honor."
In the newest episode of xoNecole's Living My Dream series sponsored by Toyota, Devi explains how she had to slow things down a bit in order to create a life she loved. She eventually left New York in search of balance, which ultimately led her to her true purpose.
Nowadays, success for Devi is just as much crystal therapy, journaling, and teaching other women healing techniques as it is rocking the airwaves at Houston’s 93.7 The Beat, creating her own line of crystals, and of course, being Mrs. Brown.
Click here to read Devi Brown's full feature story!
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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