Vaughn Hebron may be one of the leads of BET's hit series, The Oval, but the Baltimore-bred actor is the perfect leading man off- and on-screen. Though he plays Bartholomew "Barry" Hallsen, a young father to daughter Callie and son of the esteemed White House butler, Hebron's chiseled physique and abs for days are a tempting distraction from any lines he might be reading.
The Lafayette College alumnus attended his alma mater on a partial scholarship for Division I football where he became an active member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity. After graduation, he pursued a short career in pharmaceuticals, and in January 2017, he decided to give acting a shot by moving to Los Angeles. Who would've thought that two short years and a push of encouragement from his stepfather later, he would be booked as a series regular on one of the leading shows on BET?
xoNecole caught up with the actor about physical health as a factor in attractiveness, why he didn't date while he was in college, and his thoughts on the relationship between mother and son being a reflection of how a man will treat a woman. Take a look at our conversation below!
xoNecole: How do you believe Barry has evolved since we met him in the first season?
Vaughn Hebron:The Oval for Barry started like a regular day just going to help his father out at the White House—something that he's always done. He thought it was going to be a regular night and then he gets accused of rape, which is something he's never obviously encountered before, especially in a place that was so familiar to him. He managed to get off even though his life was almost ruined. Literally, within one day, his whole life just flipped and changed. As a young man, he was trying to better himself, get his own place, and out of his parents' spot just so he could grow into his manhood and be independent.
Pretty much until the end of the season, he's dealing with blow after blow of his reality being shattered, his baby being taken, and the people that he thought would be on his side really not showing the support he thought. That's what makes him lash out a lot and makes him do some reckless things. You start to see where a good guy—when faced with a lot of extreme adversity and hardship in such a short period—just cracks under all of that pressure.
Related to romance, in what ways do you feel you connect with Barry's story?
Well, I don't have baby-mama drama, thankfully. If I ever did, I'm hoping that she's not part of a crazy cult that's kidnapping kids and stuff. I surely hope not, but it's Hollywood so you never know (laughs). I think Sharon reminds him so much of his mother, and I understand trying to find your mother in your spouse and trying to find those good qualities that really love about your mother. At the same time, as Sharon talks about throughout the season, she never really had a close relationship with Barry's daughter. Barry and the way he lashed out at his mother is the same way he lashes out at Sharon a few times when he just can't trust any woman (laughs).
I have way better luck with women than Barry does. I do believe that he genuinely wanted the world with Sharon and wanted to be a good father. It's sad that extreme circumstances can really affect everything and everybody around you.
Speaking of mothers, I was always taught that you can tell a lot about how a man’s going to treat you based on how he treats his mother. How true do you find that to be?
I don't know if that's always true because mothers—as much as we love them and they're a God-sent blessing—they're not always perfect. Sometimes a mother can do something that really affects the relationship that she has with her son. I think the way that a man respects his mother and holds her in regard is what you can expect, yes. [However,] just because they don't have the best relationship doesn't mean that's gonna reflect in a relationship that a woman will have with a man.
My mother and I—of course, she's still my mother—but at this point, we kind of have more like a big sister-little brother relationship. We joke, laugh, and talk to each other like we really grew up together (laughs). It's so funny because that's my friend, and of course, I would never disrespect her or anything like that, but I will still have a real conversation and banter with her in a way some people might not ever go back and forth with their mother. That's just the relationship that we have with each other.
I think you have to gauge that and I don't always think it's a reflection. You know if he doesn't respect or at least know how to talk to his mother, then he might not know how to talk to you as a woman.
You’re the oldest of nine siblings. What has being this taught you about love and patience that can be translated into relationships?
What being the oldest has probably taught me the most is that everybody matures, grows, and comes into their maturation and who they are in their own time. What works for somebody or what standard that somebody has for themselves isn't going to be the same standard for everybody else. For me, by the time I graduated, I went straight into the workforce and I was pretty independent. I was also independent in college. For my brothers, it either took them a longer time to graduate or after they graduated, they moved back in with our parents. Everybody had a different standard of where their life was going to lead them and what they were going to do with themselves.
When it comes to relationships, it taught me that the standard you might've had for your ex, somebody you used to talk to or any other situation, you can't always bring that to this new person. You have to gauge where they are and see if where they are works for you or not, but you can't really compare them or try to hold somebody else to a standard where somebody else was at, especially if it didn't work for you. That kills me sometimes. A lot of times people will be like, 'I'm used to this. I'm used to a man doing this. I'm used to a man saying this," and I'll be like, "Well, are you still with that person?' (laughs). If it didn't work for you and if it didn't work out, why are you comparing this to something that didn't work?
"When it comes to relationships, it taught me that the standard you might've had for your ex, somebody you used to talk to or any other situation, you can't always bring that to this new person. You have to gauge where they are and see if where they are works for you or not, but you can't really compare them or try to hold somebody else to a standard where somebody else was at, especially if it didn't work for you."
Rowan Daly
That's definitely true. If it didn’t work back then and you keep trying to make that work, chances are that it may not work. Let’s just hang that up.
Yeah, everybody moves in a different way. Everybody has their own beat that they dance to. All you have to do is see if it works for you or if it doesn't. Trying to compare and hold somebody else to a standard that they don't even think about, I find it to be less effective most of the time.
You mentioned that straight out of college, you started working. How would you compare dating in college to dating while you’re working out in the real world?
Honestly, I didn't really date like that in college. I was on the football team, then I pledged and became a Que so dating wasn't really in the cards for me in college because I had other priorities. I would say if I did get close to somebody in college, we did little things like go to the movies, go out to eat here or there or we would hang out on campus. Everything was carefree and I don't think we were really looking towards the future with things back in college.
I've always dated older women, too, to be honest with you so when I graduated and started working, the women I dated after that just seemed to know where they were going or they knew what they were trying to work toward. It was one of those things where if I wasn't helping them, or if I wasn't on the same page, it probably wasn't gonna work out. They weren't really just trying to chill out and be casual with things. They were like, 'Look, if we ain't building toward a relationship or something more than just us hanging out, it's not for me.'
Dating after college became something like seriously dating, building, and progressing and not just a relationship where it's like, "This is my girlfriend and we do girlfriend-boyfriend stuff." We make each other better and we're working toward something long-term. The standards and the expectations went up.
What are the top lessons that the entertainment industry has taught you about dating?
The No. 1 lesson that I've learned out here is people have different priorities and you have to know what those priorities are before you take them seriously. What I mean by that is coming from Baltimore—the East Coast—everybody seems to be on the same wave. You graduate college, you go get a job, you become successful in that job, you find a woman, you make her your wife, and then y'all live happily ever after with your big house, some equity, some investments, and some kids. That's what everybody was on where I was from.
Over here, people have different priorities because people don't move to L.A. to get married. They move to L.A. to become movie stars, actresses, the next biggest model, or the next big R&B singer. Everyone has different priorities when it comes to being out here, so you have to know that before getting involved with somebody. Even if they say they're open to a relationship, if their actions show that you are not a priority and their job, clout, or image is a bigger priority, that's something that you have to make sure you understand so you don't end up getting hurt. You can't just assume that because somebody says they want a relationship—or they're acting like they want a relationship —means that they really want a relationship.
You’re also recognized for being really smart. You graduated with degrees in Economics and Business and a minor in Africana Studies. How important is it to you that a woman has brains?
It's very important to me because I love intelligence. I love a woman who's witty and smart, and because I'm a person that loves intelligence, I like going back and forth with people and having good conversations, debates and exchanges of thought. That's intimate to me. It can be very intimate, actually. That's one of the things that I cherish and appreciate when I talk to someone. If I can't have a real conversation with you and talk to you about some deep stuff, then it's just not going anywhere.
To add to that, one of the biggest things that I also appreciate is when somebody can teach me something and can add onto the knowledge I have and get me to think about things in a different way. If she's not intelligent, always learning or growing herself, or developing personally, she wouldn't be able to do that for me if she's not working on herself individually. I think that goes for anybody. If you're not bettering yourself and if you're not constantly feeding your mind and soul—pouring into yourself—how can you pour into somebody else? Intelligence and wit is something I value a lot when it comes to women.
Rowan Daly
"If she's not intelligent, always learning or growing herself, or developing personally, she wouldn't be able to do that for me if she's not working on herself individually. I think that goes for anybody. If you're not bettering yourself and if you're not constantly feeding your mind and soul—pouring into yourself—how can you pour into somebody else? Intelligence and wit is something I value a lot when it comes to women."
You’re not just brains. You’re also brawn! On your IG, we see the arms, abs and in 'GQ South Africa', you talked about fitness and working out.
A little bit, a little bit (laughs).
No, you do it. Don’t flex! How does working out and physical fitness play a role when you’re looking for a woman?
It plays a big role and it's probably gonna be the first thing I see. The physical appearance is probably the first thing I'm attracted to—it is what it is. I'm not saying she has to look like Beyonce or J.Lo, but I definitely need a woman who takes care of herself physically. If I'm putting so much time and energy into my body—and I'm not saying you have to do what I do— and you're not making sure you're not on top of your own body, physical fitness, and mental health, then there's gonna be an issue.
When it comes to diet, it plays a role in a lot of things—your mental health, how tired you are, your sexual health. Fitness is a universal thing, so I have to make sure you're on it because I'm going to be on it. Luckily I'm in an industry where they take their physical health and appearance pretty seriously, and it's L.A.. More often than not, I meet women who are already working out and taking care of themselves, so that's been a good thing.
You put in your Instagram bio that you are an “intellectual bad boy”. If you could put your perfect woman in three words, what would it be?
Wow, I really said that? (Laughs.) Intelligent, committed, and priceless. Oh yeah, that's a good one.
For more of Vaughn Hebron, follow him on Instagram or catch him on Tyler Perry's The Oval on BET.
*Some answers have been edited and condensed for clarity.
Featured photo courtesy of Rowan Daly
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
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When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
There is definitely a particular client who inspired this piece. I’ve been working with her for a while now, and so I’m used to her basically complaining about how she isn’t experiencing the kind of sex that she longs for. Thing is, I pretty much always ask her some variation of the same question: “How can a man give you what you want if you don’t know exactly what that is?” to which she pretty much always sighs and then deflects.
Y’all, soap operas, rom-coms, romance novels, social media, and porn have done an excellent (or horrific, depending on how you look at it) job of causing people to think that a great lover should be a mind reader or that they should be willing to do more work to please their partner than their partner is willing to do to learn what actually does please themselves. And to that, I say, goodness, how do you expect a man to “know your body” when you barely even do? And no, I’m not talking about masturbation. There are many other ways to bond with yourself than that.
Today, I’m going to share eight ways to do it. Because, if you want to sexually connect with your partner in a truly pleasurable and fulfilling way, it’s always a good idea to become a student of your own self first — so that you can be the best kind of teacher (if you know what I mean).
1. Meditate
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There are literally countless reasons why you should implement meditating into your self-care routine. When it comes to sex, specifically, because it helps to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, keep you in the moment, and make you more self-aware — this is why meditation tops the list for today, especially since deep and controlled breathing is a big part of what meditating is all about.
And since taking more oxygen into your system helps to make climaxing easier, increase blood circulation (which can intensify orgasms), and relax your pelvic floor muscles (so that sex is ultimately more pleasurable) —yeah, if you want to have better sex, you’ve got to consider meditating more often.
2. Figure Out Your Favorite Erogenous Zone. Then Find a New One.
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I’m pretty sure you know what an erogenous zone is; however, just to be sure, it’s the parts of your body that are the most easily aroused as far as sexual stimulation goes. Although it’s assumed that places like our breasts and genitalia are the peak ones, the reason why I once wrote “So, What If 'Typical Erogenous Zones' Annoy TF Outta You?” for the site is because it can’t be assumed that “predictable spots” will work for everyone. In fact, some health experts believe that there are at least 30 different potential erogenous zones on our bodies, including our scalp, ears, palms, the lower part of our back, the back of our knees, and others.
That said, next time you are in the bathtub, use your fingertips to gently touch various parts of your body. Pay close attention to which ones feel the most pleasurable or even potentially turn you on; then take note so that you can share it with your partner the next time the two of you are together. Because listen, even when it comes to masturbation, if all you focus on is “her,” you are seriously limiting how truly gratifying sex can be by now…branching out to other parts of your body.
3. Dance. Naked.
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Even if you don’t like to dance in public, do you at least dance alone sometimes? If not, you definitely should because not only is dancing good for your heart and bones, but it’s also a fun way to burn a few calories, plus it can do wonders for your sex life. Why do I say that? It’s because dancing has also been proven to decrease stress (remember, the less stressed you are, the easier it will be for you to get aroused), build up your core (so that you can increase your stamina), make you more flexible and help you to feel more connected whenever you are around other people.
And if you dance naked, that can help to increase your sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) because the more comfortable you are with your body, the more comfortable you will be to share it with your partner.
4. Massage Yourself. Also Naked.
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Speaking of getting more comfortable with your body, when was the last time you indulged in a sensual self-massage? No, I’m not using that as another term for masturbation; I mean a literal body massage that you give yourself.
If you never have before, the next time you get out of the shower or bath, wrap yourself up in a towel, warm up a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) with an aphrodisiac essential oil (check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm”) and then use your fingers or a set of massaging tools to massage your body, starting with your scalp and going all the way down to your feet.
Not only will this help to relax you, improve blood circulation, and bring more flexibility to your joints, self-massages are an effective way to give parts of your body that may not get a lot of TLC, the type of attention that they deserve — so that you can guide your own partner’s hands, lips, etc. to those very same spots…later on.
5. Make Sexy Sounds to Discover (More of) Your Sensuality
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If you’ve heard somewhere that most people hate to hear the sound of their own voice, there is actually some truth to that (by the way, if you turn your palms backward, push them behind your ears to move your ears forward and then say something, that is how others hear you on the phone, etc.). The science behind it is your voice travels through the air, which is known as air conduction. However, the way you hear the results vs. how others do can be very different — annoying even because it tends to translate as thinner and higher to your system.
This is a part of the reason why some people can be self-conscious about the sounds that they make during sex. Here’s the thing, though: Did you know that sounds like moaning can actually help to enhance your sexual experience, and panting can convey desire for your partner (check out “Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?”)? There’s nothing wrong with making sex-related sounds by yourself so that you can get more comfortable with the sound of your own voice.
Let me tell it, a part of the reason why it may be awkward during sex is your “sex sounds” are unfamiliar to even you…because you’re not used to making (and hearing) them (enough).
6. Get into Some Naval Play
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Belly buttons are sexy — hell, at least, to me, they are. That’s why, when I did some reading up on navel play, it made all of the sense in the world that it should be added to this article. For starters, there are a lot of nerve endings around that part of your body; so much, in fact, that some women even say that their clitoris is stimulated whenever their belly button/navel is touched, sometimes to the point where they are even able to have an orgasm.
So, even if it’s common for you to have your stomach touched or even kissed during foreplay with your partner, spend some time, alone, playing with your belly button too. Use fingers, feathers, ice, hot wax, sex toys — anything that feels pleasurable in that area to see what feels the most amazing to/for you. You never know — the orgasm that you’ve been waiting for all of this time may just be where your belly piercing is (because yes, there is such a thing as a belly button orgasm). Straight up.
7. Experiment with Tastes and Textures
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What do you feel sexier in: silk, satin, or lace? What’s your favorite “sex condiment”: honey, fudge, or whipped cream? When a silicone sex toy touches you, how does it make you feel? When it comes to foods that are considered to be aphrodisiacs, do you prefer red wine or coconut water? Have you ever slept alone on a bed that is filled with rose petals? If so, did it turn you on? What’s your favorite sex cocktail or mocktail? Have you ever even tried one before (check out “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too”)?
Before you decide to really get to know someone sexually, it’s important that you know yourself, so set up a solo sex date where you experiment with some of the things that I just mentioned. In the article, “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever,” I address different things to try as far as taste and touch because what might turn someone else on could be entirely different for you. The more you know about what arouses your senses, the better you’ll be at creating an atmosphere that is truly satisfying.
8. Put Yourself into Some Sex Positions (Alone)
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If you’ve ever wondered how many sex positions there are in the world, according to some Kama Sutra writers, there are well over 200. And even if you don’t believe that to be true, there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace (like these here, here, and here) that profess more than 50 exist. You know, I once checked out a sex survey that said that somewhere around 30 percent of people prefer the missionary position while another 30 percent prefer to go the cowgirl (you know, the woman on top) route and that couples tend to do that same position 60 percent of the time that they had sex.
Listen, although there is something to be said for, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” if you are bored in the bedroom, always applying that sex mantra could be why.
So, as I close this out, click on the link to one of those articles and practice getting into some of the sex positions that you’ve never tried before (also naked and, yes, alone). It’s another way to increase your flexibility and make you feel more at ease in your own skin — plus, it can make you confident enough to suggest something new next time. Something that you don’t have to stumble and fumble around doing because you’ve already practiced it. Your partner will be no less than impressed. #wink
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