Vaughn Hebron may be one of the leads of BET's hit series, The Oval, but the Baltimore-bred actor is the perfect leading man off- and on-screen. Though he plays Bartholomew "Barry" Hallsen, a young father to daughter Callie and son of the esteemed White House butler, Hebron's chiseled physique and abs for days are a tempting distraction from any lines he might be reading.
The Lafayette College alumnus attended his alma mater on a partial scholarship for Division I football where he became an active member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity. After graduation, he pursued a short career in pharmaceuticals, and in January 2017, he decided to give acting a shot by moving to Los Angeles. Who would've thought that two short years and a push of encouragement from his stepfather later, he would be booked as a series regular on one of the leading shows on BET?
xoNecole caught up with the actor about physical health as a factor in attractiveness, why he didn't date while he was in college, and his thoughts on the relationship between mother and son being a reflection of how a man will treat a woman. Take a look at our conversation below!
xoNecole: How do you believe Barry has evolved since we met him in the first season?
Vaughn Hebron:The Oval for Barry started like a regular day just going to help his father out at the White House—something that he's always done. He thought it was going to be a regular night and then he gets accused of rape, which is something he's never obviously encountered before, especially in a place that was so familiar to him. He managed to get off even though his life was almost ruined. Literally, within one day, his whole life just flipped and changed. As a young man, he was trying to better himself, get his own place, and out of his parents' spot just so he could grow into his manhood and be independent.
Pretty much until the end of the season, he's dealing with blow after blow of his reality being shattered, his baby being taken, and the people that he thought would be on his side really not showing the support he thought. That's what makes him lash out a lot and makes him do some reckless things. You start to see where a good guy—when faced with a lot of extreme adversity and hardship in such a short period—just cracks under all of that pressure.
Related to romance, in what ways do you feel you connect with Barry's story?
Well, I don't have baby-mama drama, thankfully. If I ever did, I'm hoping that she's not part of a crazy cult that's kidnapping kids and stuff. I surely hope not, but it's Hollywood so you never know (laughs). I think Sharon reminds him so much of his mother, and I understand trying to find your mother in your spouse and trying to find those good qualities that really love about your mother. At the same time, as Sharon talks about throughout the season, she never really had a close relationship with Barry's daughter. Barry and the way he lashed out at his mother is the same way he lashes out at Sharon a few times when he just can't trust any woman (laughs).
I have way better luck with women than Barry does. I do believe that he genuinely wanted the world with Sharon and wanted to be a good father. It's sad that extreme circumstances can really affect everything and everybody around you.
Speaking of mothers, I was always taught that you can tell a lot about how a man’s going to treat you based on how he treats his mother. How true do you find that to be?
I don't know if that's always true because mothers—as much as we love them and they're a God-sent blessing—they're not always perfect. Sometimes a mother can do something that really affects the relationship that she has with her son. I think the way that a man respects his mother and holds her in regard is what you can expect, yes. [However,] just because they don't have the best relationship doesn't mean that's gonna reflect in a relationship that a woman will have with a man.
My mother and I—of course, she's still my mother—but at this point, we kind of have more like a big sister-little brother relationship. We joke, laugh, and talk to each other like we really grew up together (laughs). It's so funny because that's my friend, and of course, I would never disrespect her or anything like that, but I will still have a real conversation and banter with her in a way some people might not ever go back and forth with their mother. That's just the relationship that we have with each other.
I think you have to gauge that and I don't always think it's a reflection. You know if he doesn't respect or at least know how to talk to his mother, then he might not know how to talk to you as a woman.
You’re the oldest of nine siblings. What has being this taught you about love and patience that can be translated into relationships?
What being the oldest has probably taught me the most is that everybody matures, grows, and comes into their maturation and who they are in their own time. What works for somebody or what standard that somebody has for themselves isn't going to be the same standard for everybody else. For me, by the time I graduated, I went straight into the workforce and I was pretty independent. I was also independent in college. For my brothers, it either took them a longer time to graduate or after they graduated, they moved back in with our parents. Everybody had a different standard of where their life was going to lead them and what they were going to do with themselves.
When it comes to relationships, it taught me that the standard you might've had for your ex, somebody you used to talk to or any other situation, you can't always bring that to this new person. You have to gauge where they are and see if where they are works for you or not, but you can't really compare them or try to hold somebody else to a standard where somebody else was at, especially if it didn't work for you. That kills me sometimes. A lot of times people will be like, 'I'm used to this. I'm used to a man doing this. I'm used to a man saying this," and I'll be like, "Well, are you still with that person?' (laughs). If it didn't work for you and if it didn't work out, why are you comparing this to something that didn't work?
"When it comes to relationships, it taught me that the standard you might've had for your ex, somebody you used to talk to or any other situation, you can't always bring that to this new person. You have to gauge where they are and see if where they are works for you or not, but you can't really compare them or try to hold somebody else to a standard where somebody else was at, especially if it didn't work for you."
Rowan Daly
That's definitely true. If it didn’t work back then and you keep trying to make that work, chances are that it may not work. Let’s just hang that up.
Yeah, everybody moves in a different way. Everybody has their own beat that they dance to. All you have to do is see if it works for you or if it doesn't. Trying to compare and hold somebody else to a standard that they don't even think about, I find it to be less effective most of the time.
You mentioned that straight out of college, you started working. How would you compare dating in college to dating while you’re working out in the real world?
Honestly, I didn't really date like that in college. I was on the football team, then I pledged and became a Que so dating wasn't really in the cards for me in college because I had other priorities. I would say if I did get close to somebody in college, we did little things like go to the movies, go out to eat here or there or we would hang out on campus. Everything was carefree and I don't think we were really looking towards the future with things back in college.
I've always dated older women, too, to be honest with you so when I graduated and started working, the women I dated after that just seemed to know where they were going or they knew what they were trying to work toward. It was one of those things where if I wasn't helping them, or if I wasn't on the same page, it probably wasn't gonna work out. They weren't really just trying to chill out and be casual with things. They were like, 'Look, if we ain't building toward a relationship or something more than just us hanging out, it's not for me.'
Dating after college became something like seriously dating, building, and progressing and not just a relationship where it's like, "This is my girlfriend and we do girlfriend-boyfriend stuff." We make each other better and we're working toward something long-term. The standards and the expectations went up.
What are the top lessons that the entertainment industry has taught you about dating?
The No. 1 lesson that I've learned out here is people have different priorities and you have to know what those priorities are before you take them seriously. What I mean by that is coming from Baltimore—the East Coast—everybody seems to be on the same wave. You graduate college, you go get a job, you become successful in that job, you find a woman, you make her your wife, and then y'all live happily ever after with your big house, some equity, some investments, and some kids. That's what everybody was on where I was from.
Over here, people have different priorities because people don't move to L.A. to get married. They move to L.A. to become movie stars, actresses, the next biggest model, or the next big R&B singer. Everyone has different priorities when it comes to being out here, so you have to know that before getting involved with somebody. Even if they say they're open to a relationship, if their actions show that you are not a priority and their job, clout, or image is a bigger priority, that's something that you have to make sure you understand so you don't end up getting hurt. You can't just assume that because somebody says they want a relationship—or they're acting like they want a relationship —means that they really want a relationship.
You’re also recognized for being really smart. You graduated with degrees in Economics and Business and a minor in Africana Studies. How important is it to you that a woman has brains?
It's very important to me because I love intelligence. I love a woman who's witty and smart, and because I'm a person that loves intelligence, I like going back and forth with people and having good conversations, debates and exchanges of thought. That's intimate to me. It can be very intimate, actually. That's one of the things that I cherish and appreciate when I talk to someone. If I can't have a real conversation with you and talk to you about some deep stuff, then it's just not going anywhere.
To add to that, one of the biggest things that I also appreciate is when somebody can teach me something and can add onto the knowledge I have and get me to think about things in a different way. If she's not intelligent, always learning or growing herself, or developing personally, she wouldn't be able to do that for me if she's not working on herself individually. I think that goes for anybody. If you're not bettering yourself and if you're not constantly feeding your mind and soul—pouring into yourself—how can you pour into somebody else? Intelligence and wit is something I value a lot when it comes to women.
Rowan Daly
"If she's not intelligent, always learning or growing herself, or developing personally, she wouldn't be able to do that for me if she's not working on herself individually. I think that goes for anybody. If you're not bettering yourself and if you're not constantly feeding your mind and soul—pouring into yourself—how can you pour into somebody else? Intelligence and wit is something I value a lot when it comes to women."
You’re not just brains. You’re also brawn! On your IG, we see the arms, abs and in 'GQ South Africa', you talked about fitness and working out.
A little bit, a little bit (laughs).
No, you do it. Don’t flex! How does working out and physical fitness play a role when you’re looking for a woman?
It plays a big role and it's probably gonna be the first thing I see. The physical appearance is probably the first thing I'm attracted to—it is what it is. I'm not saying she has to look like Beyonce or J.Lo, but I definitely need a woman who takes care of herself physically. If I'm putting so much time and energy into my body—and I'm not saying you have to do what I do— and you're not making sure you're not on top of your own body, physical fitness, and mental health, then there's gonna be an issue.
When it comes to diet, it plays a role in a lot of things—your mental health, how tired you are, your sexual health. Fitness is a universal thing, so I have to make sure you're on it because I'm going to be on it. Luckily I'm in an industry where they take their physical health and appearance pretty seriously, and it's L.A.. More often than not, I meet women who are already working out and taking care of themselves, so that's been a good thing.
You put in your Instagram bio that you are an “intellectual bad boy”. If you could put your perfect woman in three words, what would it be?
Wow, I really said that? (Laughs.) Intelligent, committed, and priceless. Oh yeah, that's a good one.
For more of Vaughn Hebron, follow him on Instagram or catch him on Tyler Perry's The Oval on BET.
*Some answers have been edited and condensed for clarity.
Featured photo courtesy of Rowan Daly
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Mastering The Art Of Talking Your Partner Through Orgasm: A Guide To Confidence And Connection
I have never been particularly good at dirty talk, but I love, love, love hearing it. Whenever I am getting close to “finishing,” I cue my partner, breathlessly stating, “Talk to me” or “Tell me you want it.” What I didn't know until more recently is that I am asking them to “talk me through it.” But what exactly does that mean? How can you learn to do it, or better yet, how can you get your partner to do it for you? (Go ahead and send them a link to this article, sis!)
In today’s world, the conversation around sex and intimacy is evolving rapidly. Platforms like TikTok have brought once-taboo topics around sex and intimacy into the mainstream. Recently, some of the men on TikTok have been sharing tips on "talking your partner through orgasm"—using verbal cues to guide your partner to and through their climax. It’s not just about talking dirty, but about being in tune with your partner’s emotions and body, enhancing both the physical and emotional aspects of the experience.
For Black women, who often find themselves at the intersection of societal expectations and personal desires, the need for open communication in sexual relationships is especially important. Many of us aren’t sure how to ask for the verbal affirmations that excite us. So let's dive into how you can master this art form.
What Does It Mean to "Talk Your Partner Through It"?
Talking your partner through orgasm can look (or sound) like a few different things. It involves using words and verbal cues to guide them to climax. Unlike regular dirty talk, which may be more about fantasy or teasing, talking your partner through orgasm is about being present in the moment, offering guidance, affirmation, or even instructions as your partner reaches their peak.
Marcqwuan, a sex educator and relationship expert, explains it perfectly:
“For me, talking her through it is a moment within a sexual experience where your partner is climaxing, and you use that special moment to communicate with your partner. Every moment is different.”
But this form of dirty talk isn’t one size fits all. It should be tailored to your partner’s desires, kinks, and needs in the moment.
But why do people go wild for this type of dirty talk? Whitni Miller, Sex Educator and Pleasure Coach, emphasizes, “For starters, it creates a sense of emotional closeness. A little positive reinforcement can make her feel like a goddess. Plus, words have power, and when you turn up the volume on verbal cues, feelings of pleasure can get cranked to 11. And who doesn’t want a bit more oomph as they approach the finale?”
Our senses play an important role when it comes to sexual satisfaction, and hearing your partner whisper sweet nothings while you approach your “O” can help make a lasting impression that keeps you coming back again and again.
Why Dirty Talk Feels Awkward (And How to Get Over It)
For some of us, the idea of dirty talk, especially in a moment as intimate as orgasm, can feel awkward or unnatural. We may not be able to think of the right thing to say or even hesitate for fear of sounding corny. The concern of saying the wrong thing or ruining the mood often holds people back. But most of these barriers are all in our heads.
Dakota Ramppen, certified sex educator, acknowledges these challenges, stating, “Some people get stuck in their heads wondering if what they’re saying is sexy enough or if they sound ridiculous. That hesitation kills the vibe.” But, be aware, your partner may not always want to hear your voice when getting close to their big “O.” Dakota continues, “If she’s in a zone and you’re too forceful or not saying the right things, you could break her rhythm.”
Part of talking your partner through it requires conversation outside of the bedroom, so you can be clear and confident about what they want. The other piece is intuitive and takes watchful practice.
Overcoming that awkward feeling involves communication and repetition. Before diving into talking your partner through orgasm, have an open conversation about what kinds of phrases or cues your partner likes. Witni says, “Adjust your approach based on her responses…find out together what makes her tick!” Start with words or phrases that feel comfortable to you and build from there. It also doesn’t hurt to have a few key phrases memorized (more on this in a few.)
After all, your partner won’t know if your sweet words are preplanned or improvised.
For Him: Tips on Talking Her Through Orgasm
Fellas, this part is for you! When it comes to talking your woman through orgasm, the key is to be present and attentive to her needs and body language. It’s not just about saying something sexy—it’s about creating a connection and supporting her as she reaches her peak. Here are a few tips to guide you:
- Be Affirming: Use phrases that affirm her pleasure, such as “You’re so close” or “You feel amazing.” These words can reassure her that she’s in control and that you’re fully engaged in her experience.
- Stay in Tune: Pay attention to her body language and sounds. If she’s speeding up, match her energy with your words, encouraging her to follow through. As Marcqwuan suggests, “If she can’t hear you, get closer to her ear and speak louder.”
- Use Sensory Language: Highlight the physical sensations she’s experiencing. Try saying something like, “I love how your body feels right now.” Describing what you’re feeling can heighten her own sensory awareness.
- Be Encouraging: Reassure her that her pleasure is your priority. Phrases like “Let go for me” or “I want to feel it” help her feel supported and free to enjoy the moment.
For Her: Talking Him Through Orgasm
Women can also take the lead in talking to their male partners through orgasm. The key is confidence and being in tune with your partner’s preferences. Whitni walks us through some tips:
- Confidence is Key: Own the moment and don’t shy away from guiding him through his orgasm. Your partner will likely appreciate your assertiveness, which can enhance his experience.
- Tailor to His Preferences: Use what you know he enjoys most. If he likes teasing or encouragement, lean into that. Dakota suggests: “It’s about creating a verbal map that gets him exactly where he wants to go.”
- Compliment & Tease: Build anticipation with compliments like “You feel so good” or “I love the way you move.” This will increase his arousal and bring him closer to orgasm.
- Encourage Surrender: Use encouraging phrases like “Come for me” or “Give me everything.” This can help your partner let go and fully enjoy the moment.
Universal Best Practices
No matter your gender or role in the relationship, there are universal tips that can help you master the art of talking your partner through orgasm:
- Positive Reinforcement: Affirm your partner’s pleasure with words like “You’re doing so good” or “Don’t stop.” Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and trust.
- Read the Room: Adjust your approach based on your partner’s reactions. If they’re responding well to your words, keep going. If not, switch things up. As Dakota says, “It’s about feeling where they are and matching that energy.”
- Be Genuine: Your words don’t need to be performative. Speak from a place of genuine connection, and your partner will feel that authenticity.
- Experiment and Have Fun: Don’t be afraid to try new phrases or approaches. Every experience is different, and what works today might evolve tomorrow.
Talking your partner through orgasm is a powerful way to deepen intimacy and create a lasting emotional connection. But it's not all about just talking! As Whitni shared, “And don’t forget your listening ears; tuning in to your partner’s needs will keep the experience flowin' and growin'.” It’s about more than just dirty talk—it’s about being present, engaged, and in tune with your partner’s needs.
So the next time you’re in the heat of the moment, don’t be afraid to use your words. You might just find that they’re the key to unlocking a deeper, more satisfying connection.
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Featured image by Wavebreakmedia/Getty Images