I don’t know about y’all, but this is definitely the time of year when a lot of people in my world sound like a hot ass mess. Since springtime is the season when trees, grass, and flowers like to show out (literally) as far as pollen goes, it’s pretty common for folks’ immune systems to go haywire in response to it.
Not only that but neighbors are walking their dogs more often (dander), bugs are making an appearance (eye roll), and dust mites and mold spores are kicking up due to all of the spring cleaning that is going on. All of this can lead to sneezing, watery eyes, an itchy and/or runny nose, coughing, headaches — and so many other bodily reactions that my crew would rather do without.
First, a quick tip: while there are polarizing studies on how effective local honey actually is (due to the pollen that’s in it, it can serve as somewhat of an all-natural antihistamine for the local allergens in your area), there are enough solid studies (like this one here) around to at least give it a try if you don’t want to fill your system up with a ton of allergy medication.
Okay, but what if it’s your vagina (I’m going to be speaking of it interchangeably with your vulva, by the way) who is currently going through it? If you’ve never even thought to consider that Ms. Thang down below can have reactions to certain allergens as well, take a few moments to check this article out. Trust me, “she” will thank you that you did.
The Word for a Vaginal Allergy Is Vulvitis. Now What Exactly IS That?
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Something that oftentimes happens whenever an allergic reaction transpires is our body goes through some level of inflammation. Well, when our vaginas experience their version of an allergy, inflammation happens down there too. The technical word for it is vulvitis.
Vulvitis is what happens when the skin of your vulva (the outer parts of your vagina) ends up experiencing some level of inflammation (typically when your vagina’s pH level is thrown off) that can lead to irritation, swelling, itching, a shift in the type or amount of discharge, redness and sometimes even white patches and “scales.”
Although sometimes these symptoms can be due to things like an STD (which is why you should get tested every six months if you are sexually active), vaginal atrophy (due to menopause), eczema, or a yeast infection, oftentimes it’s due to common stuff that can be cleared up by making a few minor adjustments.
Now I will say that if it’s your first time experiencing these symptoms and/or you’re not exactly sure what the heck is going on, make an appointment with your physician ASAP. A urine and/or blood test will help to get to the root of the matter.
However, if you get a clean bill of health in those departments, your doctor may go through a process of elimination which will probably include the following seven things and how your vagina has been responding/reacting to them.
1. Fragrance-Based Body Wash
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Body washes. Even though a lot of them smell absolutely divine, the reason why your vagina may not like them very much is that many contain chemicals that can definitely cause your vagina’s pH balance to go haywire.
Does this mean that you can’t or shouldn’t use anything that could help to make your vulva smell better? Not exactly. The key is to find products that are as natural as possible, along with one that will cater to your vulva’s sensitive skin.
Treatment: As far as commercial brands of cleansers go, Healthline’s “The 11 Best Vaginal Soaps and Cleansers Approved by Gynecologists” and Cosmo’s “14 Best Feminine Washes, According to a Gynecologist” can help to point you to the right direction. If you’d prefer to make your own body wash, I’ve got you covered on that tip too. Check out our article, “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes,” and, as far as tips on which great-smelling essential oils are also pretty vulva-friendly, also read “10 Essential Oils That Are Great For Feminine Hygiene (And A Few Other Things).”
2. Period Products
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If there’s one thing that we can’t avoid, it’s our period (lawd, lawd). And while typically, vaginal irritation that comes from tampons is due to them remaining inside of you too long and pads are due to not changing them enough, some brands also contain chemicals that can be “vaginally triggering.”
Treatment: That’s why it’s always best to go with tampons and pads that are fragrance-free (especially if you have uber-sensitive skin). Or you can go with brands that are organic (a list of tampon suggestions is located here, and a list of organic pad options is here).
While we’re at this portion of the program, if you used to be a Honey Pot supporter but you never got down to the truth about where the company stands between being Black-founded vs. Black-owned (now), AfroTech (which is a great Black business news site) covered that around this time last year: “Did Beatrice Dixon Sell The Honey Pot Company? — Co-Founder Responds After Social Media Goes Into A Frenzy.” I’ve got friends who still use it and are huge fans. Anyway, just make sure you check the article out before making a final call — either direction.
3. Skinny Jeans
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Although all that I listed here are skinny jeans, anything that’s so tight that it causes a lot of friction and keeps your vulva from breathing can qualify, including thongs, synthetic underwear, spandex workout clothes (especially if you don’t take them off immediately after your exercise session) and wet swimsuits.
Treatment: If you’re like, “I hear you, but I’m gonna keep the tight stuff anyway,” at least make sure to take them off as soon as you get home and make it a practice to sleep naked as much as possible so that your vulva can get a break. Also, cotton underwear is better than synthetic; at least compromise in that department, please.
4. Condoms
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If a guy tells you that he doesn’t wear latex condoms because he’s allergic to them, while it might initially sound like game (and might be), it’s actually not a ridiculous notion (although stats still say that it’s lower than 10 percent).
So, how do you know if condoms could be the reason why your vagina is acting up (i.e., itching, swelling up, feeling dry during or after sex, and sometimes even hives or a runny nose?)? If your vagina is just fine until a condom enters you or until you are done having sex, that’s a pretty solid indication.
Treatment: Does this mean that you have to go raw? Unless you’re in a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship, please don’t. Thankfully, there are other kinds of rubbers that will get the job done. Polyurethane is a type of plastic that serves as a great latex alternative. So does polyisoprene, which is made from a synthetic polymer (it is more expensive, though; just an FYI). Then there’s the throwback, lambskin; although, because their spores are larger than other condoms, they’re not as great as the other options when it comes to preventing STD transmission.
As far as some of the best non-latex options that are currently on the market, you can do some of your own research by going here, here, and here.
Oh, and while we’re on this topic, it’s not unheard of to be allergic to spermicide, either. And while you should run this suggestion by your doctor before trying it, there is a vegan kind of spermicide that some people are fond of. It’s called ContraGel. You can read more about it here, and Walmart sells it here.
5. Certain Types of Bedding
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Believe it or not, something else that can bother your vagina is your bedding. One, because you might be using a laundry detergent that’s too harsh for it. Or it could be that the bedding you’ve chosen doesn’t breathe enough (especially if you’re someone who happens to sleep naked). Fabrics like polyester and rayon may be cheaper as far as your sheets are concerned, but they also trap in heat more which can cause you to sweat, which could trigger a yeast infection.
Treatment: When it comes to the laundry issue, look for the kind that is either eco-friendly or specifically made for sensitive skin (both contain a lot less chemicals). Another route that you could take is you can make some of your own; some recipes are located here, here, and here. Also, your bedding will feel cooler if you go with something along the lines of organic cotton, silk, or bamboo.
6. Sweets
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Something that your vagina contains is bacteria — some good, some bad. Usually, your vagina’s pH keeps the bad bacteria in check; however, when you consume too much sweet stuff, that can suppress your immunity and cause bad bacteria to take over, which could result in vaginal inflammation and a full-on yeast infection.
Not only that, but if you don’t get your sugar consumption under control (check out “Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?”), you could end up with a chronic yeast infection because just like your taste buds really like sugar, so does yeast. That’s why it’s a good idea to consume sweets in moderation. Many researchers say that men should have no more than nine teaspoons of sugar a day and women should have no more than six.
Treatment: As for how to deal with the sugar that may have already “taken over” your body — I’m pretty sure you know what needs to happen. A temporary detox can do wonders at restoring the balance in your system. So can reducing your intake of fast food, processed foods, and white foods like white pasta, white bread, and of course, white sugar.
7. Sperm/Semen
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This one is interesting because, yes, there are some people who are allergic to sperm/semen (the fluid that carries sperm). However, what is more common is your vagina/vulva needing some time to get used to new sperm if you’ve recently switched to a new partner (a new partner can temporarily change the way that your vagina smells too).
That said if you do notice that after the first few times of engaging in unprotected sex with a new guy, your vagina is still itching and/or burning and/or swelling up (kind of like a yeast infection minus the thick discharge), it could be that you’re experiencing what is technically known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity; it’s when your body does not respond well to the proteins that are in someone’s sperm/semen.
Treatment: Even if you mildly suspect that you’ve got a sperm/semen allergy, you shouldn’t self-diagnose it; ask your physician. If they confirm it, they might recommend that you use condoms more often or even that you take an antihistamine (no joke) about an hour before coming into contact with sperm. Sometimes having an EpiPen nearby can help matters too.
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There’s no way around the fact that your body having an allergic reaction to something can suck because the symptoms are typically super unpleasant. Just make sure that if what’s bothering you is your vagina (or your vulva), you don’t ignore it. A reaction is letting you know that something isn’t quite right. Hopefully, now you know what needs to be done in order to fix it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert