I'm pretty sure you're well aware of the fact that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month definitely reminds us all about how necessary it is to perform breast self-exams. Also, if you're 45 or over, hopefully you've scheduled a mammogram (if you haven't had one already this year). Remember, although we are diagnosed with this particular form of cancer at a slightly lower rate than white women, the reality is our mortality is noticeably higher.
As I was reflecting on the fact that I am now in the age bracket where annual mammograms are important (gee, where does the time go?), it got me to thinking about something else that is important for all of us to do. Something that doesn't seem to come up nearly as often, but can be just as life-saving—vaginal self-exams. I try to give myself one about every 3-4 weeks or so. When's the last time you did it?
If the answer is "never", here are the reasons why you should, along with how to go about making it a routine part of your proactive self-care routine.
Why You Should Be Looking Down There More Than You (Already) Do
I'm not sure if it's a generational thing or what, but I find it to be interesting that whenever I ask the women in my life who are over 50 if they look at their vagina, they act like I'm speaking German; meanwhile, if I ask a woman in her 20s if she does, I darn near have to keep her from spreadin' it wide right in front of me. I have pried a little when it comes to a few older women by asking them what the big deal is with looking at their va-jay-jay. Usually they say something along the lines of, "I barely wanted to see my own baby being born" or (if they are down with receiving oral sex; some aren't), "I'll just let my man tell me if something is up. He's there more than I am anyway."
Me? I'm kind of a natural picker. I had to train myself to leave pimples alone. Every time a new age freckle pops up (a "gift" from my maternal grandfather), I almost immediately notice. And yes, I am neither hesitant nor ashamed to say that whenever I am doing my own up-close-and-very personal lady-scaping, I usually get a mirror to check out what's going on down below. It's not so much that I'm worried that something is wrong; it's just that I find my vagina to be really fascinating. Dope, even.
Now if you're someone who is like, "I may not be in my 50s but I don't have a desire to look at my hoo-haw either" and your main rationale is because "that's what pap smears are for", here's something to think about. Although there used to be a time when pap and pelvic exams (mostly to check for cervical cancer cells) were recommended on an annual basis, most health professionals now agree that if you are between the ages of 21-65, every three years is fine. For those of us who kinda sorta hate pap smears, that's good news. But OK, what about all of those months in between your visits to the doctor; especially if you are sexually active?
This is where a vaginal self-exam comes into play.
While there is nothing quite like the technology of medical equipment and the knowledge of a medical professional, performing a vaginal self-exam can help you to see if there is a noticeable change in your discharge, if there are growths (including bumps, sores or "weird-looking spots") or drastic changes in color when it comes to your clitoris or your labia majora (inner lips) or labia minora (outer lips).
If there's a part of you that is still giving push back by saying, "OK, but if there were issues like that, wouldn't I feel it?" Eh, maybe. Maybe not. But since some STDs including chlamydia and HPV are typically asymptomatic, and even bacterial vaginosis is asymptomatic in nearly half of all women, it can never hurt to 1) get used to what your vagina—well, technically your vulva; your vagina is the inside part while your vulva is the outside part—looks like when it's healthy so that 2) you are able to detect fairly early on if something appears abnormal in anyway. After all, when it comes to your overall health and well-being, early detection of anything always works in your favor.
How Do You Perform a Vaginal Self-Exam?
I really am hoping that I've compelled you to at least consider giving yourself a vaginal self-exam. Trust me, it's not that hard to do.
What you'll need is a:
- Handheld mirror
- Pillow
- Small flashlight
- Gloves for your hands (like the ones you would use to perm your hair with)
- Diagram of the vulva (you can look one up online or download this one here)
- Journal or smartphone
- Wash your hands thoroughly and/or apply a pair of sterile gloves.
- Remove all of your clothing from the waist down (some people like to do this after the shower, but you can't always detect your discharge that way; right when you wake up is probably your best bet).
- Whether it's on your bed or the floor, put a towel underneath you and then prop your butt up with a pillow.
- Pull your feet back towards your butt as far as they will comfortably go and spread your legs wide.
- Relax your pelvic muscle. Then, with your mirror, start inspecting, beginning with your mons pubis (the top of your vulva where most of your pubic hair is), then your clitoris, then your lips (outside and inside) and then the opening of your vagina and anus. Look to see if there are any noticeable changes that you haven't seen before (or if it's your first time, take note if anything alarms you). If there is, jot it down in your journal or smartphone (by the way, smartphones are pretty gross, germ-wise. You might want to clean it before conducting your self-exam; just to be on the safe side). Don't be afraid to gently pull back the folds of your vulva, to peek into your clitoris' hood or to even stick a finger into your vagina to make sure that your walls are a pinkish color and the texture is smooth.
- Once you are done, if something seems different to the point of slightly alarming, write it down and make an appointment to see your doctor. Again, the sooner you notice something "strange" and your physician is made aware, the sooner your vulva and vagina can get to feeling like their normal self (plus, it can prevent you from infecting someone else, even if you've got something as simple as a yeast infection). After getting the hang of this, it should take no more than 15 minutes tops.
After you've completed your vaginal self-exam, treat you and your vagina to a homemade strawberry and avocado smoothie (it'll help to keep your vagina's pH in check) or a nice pair of organic cotton undies (since you need to swap those out every six months anyway). You've taken super responsible measures to keep "her" happy. You've certainly earned it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
10 Things Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often
These Common Habits Are Actually BAD For Your Vagina
Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth
Feature image by Shutterstock
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Those myths that you keep telling yourself, and believe to be true may be what's holding you back, boo. Most of the time you're thinking these things on a subconscious level and may not even realize the damage that's being done. But once you gain clarity and call out your limiting beliefs for what they are, you'll finally be able to break free and reach new levels financially.
Let's dig into a few myths that have a direct impact on your money and are keeping you BROKE.
1. “Money is the root of all evil.”
Nah, this right here is a straight-up LIE! The truth is this: the LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil. When you think that money is the root of all evil, you're limiting yourself from keeping money, as well as receiving more of it. Without even knowing it, you might be scared of going after opportunities that will get you to the money.
Think about it. How can money be evil? Money is simply a resource that we control. Instead of believing and saying that money is the root of all evil, replace it with this supporting belief instead:
"Money is a resource and a means to do good and live well."
2. "I'm broke."
Broke is a mindset, boo. Your financial situation is shaped by how you think about money, which influences how you manage your money. Guess what? If you keep crying that you're broke, you're going to remain that way. All you are doing is reinforcing that limiting belief into the universe and your actions aren't gonna line up with what you need to do in order to get ahead.
It's imperative that you get a grip on this way of thinking and behaving, or else you'll never be able to break the cycle. I challenge you to think more in terms of abundance and believing that you can be wealthy. Are you up for the challenge?
3. "I can afford it."
You say that you can afford that pair of shoes and then turn around and realize that you don't even have enough money for gas the morning after. You can't just look at your checking account balance in the moment and think that everything is all good. Trust me, I've been there. This is where having a clear-cut, written budget comes in handy.
A budget is really just a spending/savings plan. It's a strategic system that lets you know how much money is coming in and going out every month. In reality, a budget can:
- Help you understand your financial situation and whether you can really afford something or not.
- Help you save for the things you want and do more of what you enjoy.
- Help you avoid getting caught short by bills you can't pay.
- Help you escape the paycheck-to-paycheck life.
4. "I deserve to treat myself."
GiphyHow many "treats" do you need, sis? If you really sit down and keep it 100 with yourself, do you really deserve those so-called treats? Are you taking care of your responsibilities like you should be? Instead of buying things that you don't need (with money you don't have) and labeling them as a "treat," you should be treating yourself by investing in your future and saving some coins.
If you spend all of the money that you earn instead of saving and investing it, you will never create the financial abundance that you do desire to have.
Here's a tip: Try putting both your short-term and long-term savings on auto-pilot so you don't even notice the money that you could be missing. When you don't have to look at it, you aren't tempted by any "excess" that you might have.
5. "I need to make more money and then I'll be better with my finances."
If you can't manage the little that you have now, what makes you think that you're gonna be able to manage more money? The more money you make, the more you're gonna spend if you don't get those habits in check early on. You're going to go right back to complaining about your finances and crying that you're still broke and in need of even more money. You'll never be satisfied. There will never be enough money. Remember, there are former millionaires who are struggling out here in these streets because they wanted to live a "fake fancy" lifestyle and ball out of control.
Start by being content with the income that you currently have and handling it with better care. Learn the ins and outs of sound financial management now, so that when you're finally blessed with more, you'll be able to manage it with ease.
I challenge you to start thinking better, which will ultimately lead to you doing better. It's time to prioritize your finances in a way that you haven't done before if you want to level up this year. It's time to activate your discipline. It's time to finally do something different.
Make the commitment to yourself and decide that absolutely nothing's gonna stand in your way of breaking that broke mentality.
What’s better than being in love? Building an empire while doing it. Watch Making Cents to see how real couples turn their money dreams into money moves.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on January 5, 2018