If you’re someone who has trouble sleeping, let me ask you something real quick: do you have a nighttime ritual that you follow on a consistent basis? If you don’t, you should definitely consider getting one because there are plenty of sleep experts who vouch for the fact that doing things like setting a standard bedtime, disconnecting from electronics, taking a warm bath, doing some meditation, and reading before turning in can make all of the difference in the world when it comes to improving your quality of rest.
And while you’re out here being all proactive about sleeping well, why not show your vagina some love by implementing a nighttime routine for “her” too? When you’re tired after a long day, it might seem trivial on the surface; however, after reading this, I’m pretty confident that I can convince you to take giving your vagina some end-of-the-day TLC super seriously.
1. Give Your Vagina a Massage
A yoni massage might be what your vagina secretly craves.
Getty Images
Reading an article on a yoga website is what inspired me to make this point. Although it should go without saying that there is a myriad of benefits that come with getting a professional massage (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”), have you ever thought about why it’s a good idea to give yourself a self-massage on a weekly basis too? Not only is it a cheap and easy way to de-stress your mind, body, and spirit, but it also can help to detoxify your system and rejuvenate yourself.
Your vagina is no exception here. By rubbing your pubic mound, vulva, and the outer rim of your vagina, that can help to bring relief to minor discomfort, increase blood flow to that area of your body and help to boost your sexual self-confidence.
For the record, although masturbation and even vaginal mapping (check out “Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey”) can be seen as forms of vaginal massaging, to learn more about how to give yourself the type of vaginal massage that is basically designed to bring you nothing more than rest and relaxation, check out “A Yoni Massage Might Be Your Tantric Ticket To Sexual Healing;” there are some techniques in there that I’m pretty sure will make you want to follow through with this tip, just as often as possible.
2. Invest in a Humidifier-Diffuser and Put a Calming Essential Oil in It
Keeping your stress levels low benefits you and your vagina in the long run.
Getty Images
One of the best investments that I’ve personally ever made is buying a humidifier that doubles up as a diffuser. Humidifiers are bomb when it comes to keeping moisture in the air, reducing snoring, keeping allergens at bay, and so much more (check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”). Diffusers are cool because they can help to put essential oils into the air. Well, as far as your vagina goes, it needs moisture, and it can also have moments when it needs to chill out a bit (check out “Ever Wonder If Your Vagina Is Stressed TF Out?”).
Putting calming scents like lavender, clary sage, chamomile, orange, rose, bergamot, or frankincense into it will significantly increase your chances of sleeping (more) soundly — and that will only benefit you, your vagina, and every other part of your body in the long run.
3. Take a Magnesium, Calcium and Zinc Supplement
Supplements that keep the vagina healthy? Yes, please.
Getty Images
Something that my mother used to give me was a magnesium, calcium, and zinc supplement. Listen, if you’re looking for a natural way to bring your nervous system down a few notches, I can speak from very up close and personal experience that this will get the job done!
As far as your va-jay-jay goes, magnesium lowers oxidative stress and makes PMS (and menopause) more tolerable; calcium (especially if it’s combined with vitamin D) can reduce vaginal dryness, and zinc is not only a solid libido booster, it can also help to keep your vaginal tissues nice and healthy.
Personally, I prefer to take vitamins at night because, if there is any minor discomfort while digesting them, I sleep right through it. Plus, if you want to be calmer as you sleep, a nerve relaxant makes all the sense in the world, especially if/when it’s all-natural.
4. Drink Some Kefir
Maintaining your vagina's pH balance can be as easy as drinking more kefir.
Getty Images
Lawd, when it comes to vaginal care, if there’s one thing that I’ve learned that you damn near have to become your own chemist about, it’s maintaining your vagina’s pH balance (check out “Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced”). One way to do that is to take a probiotic; that’s because it keeps the bad bacteria that is (probably) inside of your vagina from overtaking the good bacteria. Plus, there’s plenty of science to support that probiotic intake helps improve sleep quality as well.
That said, if taking supplements aren’t really your thing, a nice workaround is drinking some kefir. Kefir is basically fermented milk (think drinkable yogurt that’s on steroids as far as probiotic content goes). If that sounds nasty, I’ve been drinking Lifeway’s brand for a few years now. It comes in different flavors and tastes pretty damn good. Now, if you hate yogurt…umm, a supplement it is, I guess. *Elmo shrug*
5. Rinse Your Vulva with Some Water
Whatever your personal wash routine, a little rinse never hurt nobody.
Getty Images
Some health experts say that water is all you need to cleanse your vagina. Others say that you should just make sure that you use all-natural ingredients (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”). A cleanser that I am a huge fan of is Boric Fresh PH Balancing Daily Feminine Wash with Boric Acid, Tea Tree Oil, Coconut Oil & Essential Oil. It is so soothing and non-irritating.
Anyway, whatever your personal wash routine is, do make sure that you at least rinse your vulva before turning in. With any luck, you’re about to get 6-8 hours of rest and so, the less bacteria you’ve got lurking around your skin’s folds, the better.
6. If You’re Shaving, Follow It Up with Some Witch Hazel
Prefer to shave? Get yourself a bottle of witch hazel.
Getty Images
If nighttime is when you do your vaginal upkeep, get yourself a bottle of witch hazel. It soothes skin. In a broader sense, it helps to speed up the healing of breakouts. It helps to treat psoriasis and eczema. It brings relief to a sore throat. It’s a strong astringent that contains anti-inflammatory properties. And because of that, it’s also a solid treatment when it comes to soothing skin after shaving and also helping to prevent ingrown hairs. It’s one of the best all-natural, inexpensive remedies for your skin from head to toe, no question.
7. Soothe Your Labia with Some Coconut Oil
Your vulva loves some coconut oil.
Getty Images
I won’t lie — coconut oil and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship. Although, when it comes to natural hair care, I know that some women adore it, it tends to leave my hair dry (although it is a nice soother for my scalp whenever it’s irritated). And even though others like to “seal their skin” with it when they finish bathing, I personally prefer plum oil (check out “Plum Oil Is The Oil You Should Ease Into The Fall Season With”).
Oh, but if there is one time when I will TOTALLY sing its praises, it’s when it comes to applying coconut oil to my inner and outer labia. The saturated fats keep those areas naturally lubricated, the lauric acid that it contains helps to naturally heal yeast infections (and even a couple of STDs), and it’s also full of antioxidants and has antimicrobial and antifungal properties too.
So, get in those nooks and crannies with some of it; your vulva will totally love you for it if you do.
8. Soften Your Pubic Hair with Some Fur Oil
Prevent ingrown hairs and nurture your pubic hair with this oil.
Getty Images
I’ve gotta admit that ever since I’ve become more intentional about literally nurturing my pubic hair, it has gotten so much softer to the touch. If pampering your own is something that you’d like to get more into, you honestly cannot go wrong with Fur Oil. It contains a blend of different lightweight oils that will moisturize your hair, help prevent ingrown ones, and leave that part of your body feeling smooth as silk. Is it cheap? Nope. Is it worth it? Absolutely, especially since a little bit tends to go a very long way. You can learn more about and cop some of it here.
9. Sip on Some Honeybush Tea
Drinking honeybush tea can do wonder for your body.
Getty Images
Now ain’t THIS a trip? As I was doing a bit of prepping for this article, even though tea is totally my thing (check out “8 Teas That Are Really Good For Your Vaginal Health”), I’ve gotta admit that my “something new” for the day is the fact that there is a tea out here called honeybush — and boy, if that ain’t a new word that I’m going to use to define vaginas, moving forward, boy! Anyway, honeybush is an herbal-infused tea that hails from South Africa (this just keeps getting better and better!).
Some of its health benefits include it being loaded with antioxidants (which can help to keep vaginal infections from becoming an issue), it boosts immunity, it helps to bring relief to menopausal symptoms, and it also can keep your skin — on every part of your body — nice and healthy. So, if drinking tea at bedtime is totally your thing as well, pick up some honeybush the next time you’re at a local health food store.
10. Wear Nothing Down Below
There are gonna be times when your vagina needs a break from wearing panties.
Getty Images
Even when you’ve got on the right kind of panties (check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”), there are gonna be times when your vagina is gonna need a break. Between being cooped up in fabric all day long and the moisture and bacteria that can get trapped in panties after hours of wear, going without drawers can be quite beneficial. That said, even if you’re not someone who would even consider going without underwear during the daytime hours (check out “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)”), at least try your hand and going to sleep without any panties on. There’s simply too much evidence out here to support that it can help to keep vaginal infections at bay; plus, sleeping naked is a great de-stressor as well.
11. Tell “Her” Something That You’re Grateful to Her For
When was the last time you gave gratitude to your vagina?
Getty Images
Question: when’s the last time you told your vagina that you were grateful to her? No matter how crazy that might sound, if you really stop to ponder what life would be like without her (hell, just on the sex tip alone!), she definitely deserves a high five (umm, so to speak). And since there are proven health benefits of expressing gratitude, in general (including the fact that it relieves anxiety, decreases stress levels, and improves one’s quality of sleep), before turning in, at night, audibly tell your vagina one thing that you love her for. Something tells me that making that a nightly practice could probably end up helping you out in the sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) department, too.
12. Listen to Some Natural Sounds As You Fall Asleep
Nature sounds can do more than just increase your quality of rest.
Getty Images
Although getting some z-z-z’s has never really been a problem for me, I will say that since I’ve been intentional about going to sleep with some rain sounds in the background, my quality of rest has increased in a major way. I’m pretty sure that it’s not by happenstance either because I once read a study that said listening to relaxing music for 45 minutes before turning in can affect your brain in a similar way that a sleeping medication would (the more you know). Know what else will do this? Sounds of rain, thunder, or nature.
YouTube is chock full of videos that will give you all kinds of nature sounds for hours on end for free (just go to the site and put the kind of sleep sound that you want into the search field). And since the less stressed you are, the more you decrease your chances of having a vaginal infection — anything that you can do to rest better would be a wise move, wouldn’t you say?
BONUS: Follow a Vaginal Pre-Sex Routine Too
Your vagina will appreciate the extra effort of prep before sex.
Getty Images
If you’ve ever wondered when the best day of the month is to have sex, reportedly, it’s the day before your period; your hormones are in a state where you’ll have the most intense orgasms then. The best time of year? Right now — fall and winter. Rain makes us hornier. Testosterone levels rise. Being indoors more makes it easier to make sex plans. And although science actually says that around 7:30 a.m. (I’m not sure which time zone…LOL) is the best time for sex, we all know that nighttime is when things tend to be more convenient.
So, as I close this out, if your vagina is gonna be getting some serious action tonight, put a pin in this article, save it for tomorrow and check out “Here's How To 'Pregame' Your Vagina For Sex.” She’ll appreciate your extra effort, and ultimately…so will you. Sweet sex…sweet dreams or…BOTH. #wink
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Westendon61/Getty Images
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock