So, as I was reading an article that Glamour published a few years back entitled, “The 12 Rules of Swimwear Shopping, According to the People Actually Doing the Buying,” it got me wondering about how much people spend on bathing suits and how often it is recommended that we should replace them. As far as the first point goes, it would appear that around one-third of individuals are comfortable with spending over fifty bucks on their swimwear. As far as how often they (should) get a new suit? It would appear thatsome experts say one summer season (three months) is each one’s shelf life.
Although some of this depends on how often you wear a suit and how well you take care of it, if you keep one for a couple of years, not only could it end up not fitting you very well, like the wear and tear of panties can end up not protecting your vulva and vagina as well as it should, the same goes for a bathing suit.
And that got me to thinking that since it is officially swimsuit season now, it would probably be a good idea to run down some rules for engagement as far as your suit and your vagina (and vulva, which is the outer part of your vagina) go. And so, if you’ve got a sec, I’ve got 10 hacks to keep in mind.
1. Remove Hair No Less than 24 Hours Before Getting into the Water
GiphyMy waxer tickles me and also grosses me out, every year, around this time. The reason? Swimsuit season. The gross-out factor? Hearing what happens when people roll in for appointments right before a summer holiday or vacation, only to (sometimes) come back with a nasty rash or hella irritated skin. The cause? Thinking that they can get hair removed and then get into the water (other than their own bathtub) on the same day. Why is this a big deal?
Because, as much as most of us probably don’t want to think about it, pools and oceans (and especially Jacuzzis) house germs, and when you get hair removed from your body, your pores become especially susceptible to them while they are open. And so,although some skin experts state that you should wait a few days to swim after removing body hair, my waxer says 24 hours is pretty solid, so long as your skin isn’t super sensitive or you don’t notice any irritation prior to getting into the water. Just make sure that you do wait a day, though. It’s worth the precaution.
2. Consider Putting a “Barrier” into Your Vagina
GiphyThat same (potentially) dirty water that can bother your skin can also irritate your vagina if you’re not careful. So, if you plan on being in the water for hours on end, something else that you might want to do is put in a “swimming tampon” or a menstrual cup — even if you’re not on your period. As unconventional as it might sound, it can help to keep the water from lodging up in your vagina and throwing off your pH balance. And well, the more your pH remains stabilized, the less you’ll have to worry about getting some type of infection later down the pike.
P.S. If you are a tampon user, make sure to go with an organic brand. More and more studies are coming out that certain popular tampons contain things like arsenic and lead in them. You can read more about that here.
3. Apply a Water-Free Moisturizer
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that you can spend time in the water and it could still dry you out. That’s because swimming pools containchlorine, which contains drying chemicals. Know what else can dry out your skin (including your vulva)?Ocean water (due to the salt that it contains). So, if you want to maintain a healthy amount of moisture around your vulva, apply a water-free moisturizer before getting into any water (you can check out a list of somehere); that way, you can be sure that the moisturizer you apply will not literally wash away as soon as you go swimming.
4. Shower Before and After Getting Out of the Pool
GiphySpeaking of what pools and ocean water can do to your va-jay-jay, another proactive way to keep them from bothering your vulva and vagina (too much) is to shower before getting into the water and immediately after getting out of it. Not only will that help the chemicals in swimming water to be more effective (protection-wise), but it can also remove the impurities that may be on your body (like sweat and small amounts of fecal matter), so that they don’t mix in with the water and irritate your genitalia later on.
5. Get Out of Swimwear As Soon As Possible
GiphyIt’s pretty common for a lot of us to get out of the water and allow the combination of heat and air to air dry our suits. The problem with that is that the hot weather and moisture of the fabric can create the “perfect storm” as far as a potential yeast infection is concerned. That’s why it’s always a wise move to get out of your swimsuit as soon as you’re done swimming. Your vagina will thank you. Trust me.
6. Give Your Vagina Its Own (Dry) Towel
GiphyIf you’re someone who really likes to be on the safe side as far as vaginal health is concerned, you should probably bring along a hand towel that will serve as a drying tool for your vagina. Listen, the cleaner and drier the fabric is that touches that part of your body, the better. There's not much more to say on this point than that. Moving on.
7. Wash Your Swimsuit After Each (and Every) Use
GiphyWhile certain folks say that you should only be concerned with washing your swimsuit after every wear if you’ve been in water that contains no chlorine, is ocean water (i.e., salt water), or if you’ve been lying out (and sweating) for a long period of time, I’m personally gonna advise that you wash that bad boy after every use. Your vaginal discharge alone is enough of a reason to treat your swimsuit basically like it’s underwear as far as proper hygiene goes — and would you go a couple of wears with the same drawers? Please say that you wouldn’t. LAWD.
8. Keep Some Pure Aloe Vera on Tap
GiphyI don’t know if y’all caught it or not, but last year, (supposedly) one of the biggest summer fashion trends was what is called the “Vagina G-string.” Basically, it’s a bikini with a bottom that has nothing but strings other than a teeny piece of fabric to cover your vulva up. In my mind, all I could imagine was extreme discomfort, in partdue to chafing. Chafing is basically what happens when things like friction can irritate your skin to the point where you may end up with a rash, some really dry or flaking skin, and/or an itchy and/or burning sensation.
Since everything from exercise and body weight to weather and clothing (including bathing suits) can cause chafing, it’s a good idea to 1) pick a bathing suit that fits the lower part of your body comfortably and 2) have some pure aloe vera gel around. Not only can it help to immediately soothe chafed skin, but it can also speed up the healing process if you happen to end up with some.
9. Beach Sex? Eh. Not So Much.
GiphyI once read that around 30 percent of folks have had sex on the beach. Uh-huh. As romantic as that might sound (to some of y’all), all I can think about is the hot-ass-prickly sand that could potentially get all up into my vagina. Yeah, no thanks. And listen, even if you try and pull a Beyoncé-Drunk-in-Love move and pull your swimsuit bottoms to the side, that doesn’t mean that you still won’t end up pissing your va-jay-jay off with said sand.
Hell, don’t take my word for it; even major news sites likeUS Health News says that sand “…can be difficult to remove and become a breeding ground for bacteria, yeast and other things that prime the vagina for infection.” So, take that to a private deck if you must be outside. Oh, and if the plan is to be in the water, apply some silicone-based lube first. Water-based lubricants are ineffective in actual water.
10. P.S. Yes, There Is Such a Thing As Period Swimwear
GiphyFinal point. If your period happens to be on the heavier side (especially during the first couple of days of your cycle) and you’ve got a vacation coming up that you can’t reschedule, don’t feel like you have to sit along the side of the pool or ocean and watch everyone else have all of the fun. Just like there are panties that are customized for periods, there is swimwear that also fits the bill. If you go to your favorite search engine and put “period swimwear” in the search field, you’ll see a variety of companies that carry really cute swimsuits for when it’s “that time of the month.” In fact, a good starting point would be Good Housekeeping’s “The Best Period Swimwear of 2024, Tested and Reviewed by Experts.”
___
You know,according to NASA, 2023 was the hottest summer that we’ve had in about 2,000 years, and yet, already, it feels like 2024 is gonna straight-up rival it. So, if spending a lot of time in pools or at beaches is at the top of your to-do list, now you know how to keep your vagina in good condition — as you turn heads in that fly-ass swimsuit of yours.
Have fun. Be safe. Take care of you…and her. #wink
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Masego Morulane/Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Victoria Monét’s Romantic Journey: A Deep Dive Into Her Dating History
Victoria Monét, the multi-talented singer-songwriter known for her sultry vocals and captivating performances, has been making waves not only for her music but also for her openness about her personal life. Best known for hits like "On My Mama" and collaborations with Usher, Monét's career continues to soar as she carves out a space in the R&B and pop landscape.
Alongside her musical success, her dating history has garnered attention, as she has been linked to several high-profile relationships, most notably with personal trainer and entrepreneur John Gaines, with whom she shares a daughter.
When it comes to her sexuality, Monét was hesitant at the beginning of her career to share she identified as bisexual. In an interview with Variety, she said, “I thought that conforming would make me go further. Being picturesque, straight… It almost felt like you didn’t want to add any more weights to your ankles trying to win a race. It’s like, you’re already a woman, you’re already Black — you’d better pick a struggle.”
In November 2018, the artist publicly announced her bisexuality in a post on X (formerly Twitter). This revelation empowered her to express her true self more openly through her music. Notably, in the 2019 duet with Ariana Grande "Monopoly," she sings, "I swerve both ways, dichotomy / I like women and men," boldly asserting her sexual orientation. Additionally, she composed the sensual track "Touch Me," the concluding song on Jaguar. This song is dedicated to her fellow R&B singer, Kehlani, with whom she had a relationship, and who is featured on the remix version of the song. More on this later.
Victoria’s music often reflects themes of love, sensuality, and freedom, creating a safe space for those who feel marginalized or misunderstood. By embracing her true self, both in her personal and professional life, Monét is a powerful voice of representation for queer women of color in the music industry.
Also, is it me or does Victoria Monét stay with a baddie? Let’s run back Victoria’s dating history by using some of her hit songs.
Touch Me: Rumors of Victoria and Kehlani Dating
For years, we have been speculating that Victoria and Kehlani had a lil something going on. Just this year, the “Ass Like That” singer confirmed their relationship. During a High Low with EmRata podcast interview with Emily Ratajkowski, she spilled the tea on her past relationship with Kehlani, working with Ariana Grande, and her love for R&B legend Sade.
The innanets were saying that Victoria’s fling with Kehlani started in 2020 when they recorded the “Touch Me” remix. During the interview, the 30-year-old revealed that she was expecting a child when she and the Kehlani worked together on a song that appeared to be about the "After Hours" singer.
While maintaining a neutral stance towards past romantic partners, Monét has refrained from divulging specific details about her previous relationship with Kehlani. She told Ratajkowski, “[We’re] friends. I kind of am like that with all of my past relationships. I really don’t like the idea of like, now someone’s dead to me, unless they did… I mean, some of my relationships ended where they did me wrong.”
Victoria went on to say, “But like, I don’t know. I just got over it, and I like to have that kind of an open connection, like, I don’t wanna kill somebody off and be like there’s a rule of me not to speak to them ’cause I feel like that takes even more energy to like, try to avoid people and trying to hate them.”
Breaking Point: Victoria Monét’s Relationship With John Gaines
In their romantic journey, Victoria Monét and John Gaines have consistently centered their attention on their small family unit.
Our first glimpse of Gaines came in Victoria's music video for "Moment," where the couple shared some incredibly passionate and sensual kisses.
Initially, they maintained a low-key approach to their relationship but later announced a significant milestone in December 2020: they were anticipating the arrival of their first child. Their daughter, Hazel, entered their lives in February 2021, completing their family circle.
Later that year, Victoria shared with ESSENCE, “We’re completely in love and enjoying our new chapter. [Hazel has] really got him wrapped around her finger, and I’ve seen him change in ways that I know he didn’t expect. She’s growing us up.”
Earlier this year, we found the family oozing adorable family vibes as they all took to the Grammy red carpet looking like walking mannequins. That night our queen took home three awards including Best New Artist.
— Victoria Monét (@VictoriaMonet) September 23, 2024
After seven months, the couple revealed in a joint statement that they had decided to discretely end their relationship. “We spent the last 10 months trying to respectfully and privately navigate the fact that we are no longer in a relationship. Though we still completely adore and respect each other, we are not a couple anymore.”
The announcement continued, “There was no infidelity, toxic behavior, or drama. We both just have some fundamental growing to do that would best be done apart so we can remain the best versions of ourselves for our daughter.”
We Might Be Falling in Love: Victoria’s Budding Romance with Stormzy
Word on the street is that the Jaguar baddie has moved on with a certain tall, dark, and handsome British rapper. Victoria was seen showing some major PDA with Stormzy earlier this month. The Sun released photos of the two embracing and kissing at Heathrow Airport less than a month after Victoria announced her split from John Gaines. According to The Sun, “the 6ft 5in star grinned as he gave Victoria a hug before kissing her on the lips.” An onlooker told the outlet, “Both Stormzy and Victoria looked absolutely smitten with each other.”
Ironically, Stormzy also announced his breakup from TV host beauty Maya Jama this summer, after rekindling their romance. The stars—who had previously dated from 2014 to 2019—acknowledged that they had attempted to make their relationship work, but it ultimately didn't, and that was an acceptable outcome.
"We've been laughing whilst drafting this because we never, ever, in a million years thought we'd be the couple announcing a breakup,” the former couple wrote in a joint statement. "But for the sake of clarity and, more importantly, to allow us the space and grace that's needed for us both to be able to navigate this next bit of our lives with peace, we thought it might be best to.”
Neither camp — Stormzy or Victoria — has confirmed the dating rumors but we all know a picture is worth 1000 words.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by TheStewartofNY/WireImage