Recently, someone wrote me to ask one specific question: "How is it that you can keep finding content on vaginas to write about?" Heck, if I know, chile. For one thing, they fascinate me. They just do. Plus, I figure that since our vaginas are a part of us and everything from head to toe makes us special, it's important that we have as much information as possible when it comes to learning how to properly care for our genital region. And since we are well into the summer season and it's hot as all get out, there's no time like the present to bring up a few tips that can keep "her" cool, calm and honestly, drier.
Let's get to it. Here are 12 tips that can keep your vagina in great shape, no matter what you and "her" plan on doing from now through Labor Day (well technically, September 22, which is when the summer season ends this year).
1. Go Commando
Hopefully, you're already sleeping naked more times than not since it decreases stress, helps to keep your skin healthy, and can even boost your self-confidence levels. Something else that going to bed with nothing else on does is promote vaginal health. The reason why is that since our vaginas are naturally full of moisture and there is a certain amount of yeast that's inside of them, we have to be careful that we don't allow things to get too wet or it could cause the yeast to multiply which could lead to a pretty nasty yeast infection.
You see where I'm going with this, right? When it's hot, we sweat. When we sweat, it gets really wet down below. That's why, it really is okay — encouraged even — to go commando sometimes, even when you're out of the house. And what if you just can't imagine doing that? That's where the next point comes in.
2. Or Get Some Moisture-Wicking Undies
If for you, wearing underwear is an absolute must, invest in some moisture-wicking panties. These are the kind of undies that are made out of the type of fabric that actually pulls moisture away from your body instead of absorbing it. As a direct result, moisture is able to evaporate easier and quicker so that you don't feel wet all throughout the day.
If you'd like to check out some reviews on top moisture-wicking underwear that's currently on the market, First for Women has 11 of 'em that you can check out here. If you'd prefer to go a bit of the cheaper route, cotton (especially organic cotton) panties are a classic breathable fabric that works.
Oh, and if you're a thong kind of person, definitely avoid the ones that are made out of nylon, polyester or lace. If any kind of panty needs to breathe, it's a thong, so go with cotton or bamboo fabric, and definitely don't sleep in them if you've been wearing them all day long.
3. Make Your Own Vaginal Wash
I'm thinking that this probably goes without saying, but just for safe measure, there is no reason for you to wash your actual vagina (the canal/tube that runs from your vulva up to the entry of your uterus which is your cervix); it is self-cleaning which is why douching is an absolute no-no (the ingredients in douches tend to through your vagina's pH levels off balance). And while some health experts say that your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) only needs water to keep it clean, if you're like me and you want some extra back-up, it really is best to make your own vaginal wash. The reason why is because a lot of soaps are way too harsh and some body washes have too many chemicals in them.
If you agree yet don't feel like doing all of the work to make your own cleanser, Black-owned companies like Pangea sell vaginal washes that are pretty good (I've tried it before). Sites like Etsy carry all-natural homemade body washes too. Still, if you'd prefer to go about it yourself and all you need is a recipe, I've got you. Check out "Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes" that I wrote for the site a couple of years back. It will help to keep your va-jay-jay smelling and feeling fresh all summer long.
4. Up Your Vitamin C and Probiotics
Keeping your vagina in great shape means that you've got to stay on top of your immune system. One way to do that is to make sure that you get plenty of Vitamin C and probiotics in your body. Vitamin C is good for your genital region for a few reasons. It's high in antioxidants which can fight off free radicals and viruses. It contains micronutrients that can help to flush out harmful bacteria. It also helps to increase the acidic levels of your vagina, so that health issues like bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections are less of a concern.
As far as probiotics go, there is such a thing as "good bacteria" and "bad bacteria". Probiotics are loaded with the good kind which is a good thing because they can help to balance the yeast in your vagina, so that the bad bacteria doesn't grow to the point of giving you a yeast infection.
Foods that are high in Vitamin C include citrus fruit, berries, broccoli, potatoes, bell peppers, dark leafy greens and kiwi. Foods that are high in probiotics include fermented foods such as (sour) pickles, sauerkraut, yogurt, miso soup, sourdough bread, kefir and kombucha. There are also supplements for both that you can take. If you want to take a probiotic one, Garden of Life Raw Probiotics Vaginal Care contains 50 billion CFU (colony forming units ) and 38 different strains of probiotics which is pretty darn impressive.
5. Make a Lemongrass and Sweet Almond Oil Ointment
What if you're concerned about vaginal odor? Well, first let me say that if your vagina has an ever-so-mild musky or tangy scent to it, that is pretty normal. If it smells a little like a copper penny, especially around your cycle, that's typically not a big deal. Some vaginas smell sweet; also, no cause for alarm. It's only when it gets into the strong ammonia or fishy arenas that you should be concerned and make an appointment to see your doctor. Still, if sweat seems to make your vaginal region smell a little stronger than you would like, while you should leave your actual vagina alone, you can make a topical ointment for your vulva area out of lemongrass essential oil and sweet almond oil.
Lemongrass is dope because it has a citrus scent (perfect for the summer season), along with antifungal and antibacterial properties that help to fight off the fungus that causes yeast infections. Sweet almond oil is cool because it's a great carrier oil and has a way of soothing your vaginal walls. One-third cup of oil with 3-5 drops of lemongrass added to it and applied to your vulva area only, should do the trick.
6. Try a Little Bit of Vaginal Ice Application Therapy
If you tend to be more active during the summer seasons and all of that exercising, cycling, hiking and whatever else you're doing has your vaginal tissues feeling tender, inflamed, itchy or irritated, something that you might want to try is a little bit of what is called vaginal ice therapy. All it consists of is applying some ice to your vaginal region for 15-30 minute stints, an hour apart, a few times a day. It's a method that can provide instant relief while taking some of the swelling down. If you'd like to try this but would prefer an alternative to ice, you might want to test out Vagi-Kool Reusable Feminine Cold Pack. Just pop it into your freezer for 2-4 hours and it's ready for use.
7. If You Get Ingrown Hairs, Do More Waxing
Something that I make sure not to miss, every four weeks, is my wax appointment. The woman who holds me down in this lane was just telling me how she wished more Black women went the waxing rather than shaving route because it really does decrease the amount of ingrown hairs that we get — especially down below. This means fewer bumps and also fewer dark marks that the bumps can sometimes create. So yeah, I'm all about encouraging waxing.
That said, if you'd still prefer to shave, make sure you invest in a really good razor, gently exfoliate the area you plan to shave (it loosens up the hair), and then soak in warm water for about 15 minutes (it helps to soften the outer layer of your skin and your hair follicles), that you apply some shaving cream (it moisturizes and helps to protect your skin from the razor) and that you DON'T go against the grain of your hair's growth. All of this can reduce your chances of razor bumps (although waxing really is so much better, y'all; plus, you don't have to wax as much because it pulls hair from the root).
8. Soak in Some Apple Cider Vinegar
When your vagina's pH levels (which should be around 4.0-4.5, although it might be higher if you are going through menopause or are post-menopause) are out of balance, that can trigger an infection and/or odor. Believe it or not, something that can keep this from being an issue is apple cider vinegar. That's because it contains properties that are great at keeping your vagina at the acidic level that it's supposed to be. That's why it can be a good idea to take a bath that has 1-2 cups of the vinegar (make sure it has "the mother" because that's the kind that is the most potent) in it. If you soak for 20-30 minutes, 1-2 times a week, it can keep your vagina healthy, all year round.
9. Try a Menstrual Cup
I was late on the menstrual cup train (hate that because they are pretty awesome) and while I'm sold now, I must admit that I'm still a bit on the hunt for the perfect one. Nixit is a menstrual disc that is cool except it won't stay tucked behind my pubic bone (a YouTuber by the name of Vicky Logan has a great review that you can check out here). Merula XL holds a lot of blood but I need something with suction. Intimina is awesome because it's skinny like a tampon. June has suction and is cost-efficient (although it doesn't hold as much blood as others).
Anyway, I really could do an article on menstrual cups and discs at this point.
Bottom line here, though, is if you want to feel basically like you're not even on your period during the summer season, the right menstrual cup could very well be the answer to your prayers. So long as you get the right fit and dump out the blood every 8-12 hours, you can wear and do just about anything you want (including having sex) without worrying about any leaking or period blood smell. Plus, menstrual cups last for about 10 years.
They're awesome in every way.
10. Cop a Tube of Lumē
There's someone I know who, whether it was summer or winter, she pretty much always sweated through her underwear and ultimately her clothing. Sometimes, it would create an odor. Because we were pretty close, I knew it wasn't a personal hygiene issue. She simply sweated a lot and her sweat carried a stench. If you can personally relate and you've never been quite sure what to do, there is a product on the market called Lumē. It's an all-natural deodorant that is specifically designed for underarms and your genital region. Word on the street is it's a type of cream that can stop the smell of bacteria for around 72 hours. You can learn more about it here.
11. Or Apply Some Cornstarch
Speaking of absorbing wetness, something else that's super effective and pretty gentle on your vaginal region is cornstarch. Sprinkling a little bit of it onto the crotch part of your panties can help to keep the moisture in that area from drenching your panties; plus, it's so much safer than powder that has a talc base to it.
12. Don’t Stay in What You Swim in for (Too) Long
One more. If you plan on being at the pool or beach for the day, you should probably bring along some loose and breathable clothes to change into. Whether it's salt or chlorine water, on top of the material that your swimsuit is made out of (usually polyester or nylon which doesn't "breathe" very well), on top of your sweat, is definitely a breeding ground for a yeast infection to occur. So don't stay in 'dripping wet' anything. Dry off and change. You'll feel better and your vagina will too — all summer long.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert