Whew. It's already March and I'm assuming that a lot of you are asking the same question about 2021 that I am—where is the time going? Since the 20th of this month marks the official beginning of spring, I thought I would do a few articles surrounding spring cleaning. As you can tell by the title, this one is gonna be about spring cleaning your vagina.
I know. It might sound a little funny at first but trust me when I say that it's absolutely not clickbait. While I'm hoping that cleaning your vulva (you don't need to clean your actual vagina because it's self-cleaning) is a regular occurrence, what this is about to explore are ways that you can get to the baseboards of that area, so to speak. Like, you know how when you spring clean your house, you clean the baseboards? This is going to offer up 10 ways to give your vagina some extra special attention as you head into warmer weather and maybe even some "spring fever" opportunities. #wink
1. Up Your Vitamin C Intake
When it comes to what you can actually take in order to obtain vaginal health, probiotics are typically what come up the most often. They provide your body with more "good bacteria" so that the bad bacteria doesn't eventually lead to something like a yeast infection. Well, if there is a second place of things to consume to keep your vagina on the up and up, I think Vitamin C is the way to go. Not only is it loaded with antioxidants that can help to strengthen your immune system and keep free radicals at bay, Vitamin C has the ability to increase the acidity of your vagina so that harmful bacteria is not able to thrive. You can get this particular nutrient into your system by taking a supplement or you can eat foods like berries, peppers, broccoli, potatoes and citrus fruit to get a good dose of it into your system.
2. Take Some Chaste Tree Berry
If you've never heard of this particular herb before, don't feel bad. I do my best to share certain ones that don't come up in normal conversation because many have some really impressive health benefits. The awesome thing about Chaste Tree Berry is it can actually increase progesterone levels in your body. What's cool about that is the end result can lead to more regulated (and less heavy) periods, less PMS, a decrease in menopausal-related symptoms and, it can even help to increase your fertility levels (if you're trying to conceive) too.
That said, do keep in mind that herbs aren't candy. Some are quite potent. So, if this is something that you want to add to your regular diet, run it by your doctor first. Just make sure to avoid using chaste tree bark if you're pregnant. Also, it's important to keep in mind that it could take anywhere from 3-6 months before you start seeing some significant results.
3. Get Some New Cotton Undies
Tell the truth, shame the devil. When's the last time you bought some new underwear? If it was this time last year, that's close to being ridiculous because we're actually supposed to cop new pairs every 6-12 months. When you think about the discharge, period blood and even tiny bits of fecal matter that panties collect over time, you should want to get some fresh ones, anyway. As far as which ones, fabric-wise, are best for your vagina's overall health and well-being, breathable fabrics (like organic cotton) are the lick. As far as the kind/cut that you should go with, a lot of that is totally up to you. Just make sure to keep in mind that thongs can irritate your va-jay-jay and also trigger an infection over time and sometimes boy shorts are too much fabric. Bikini cut and hipsters are a happy medium. Please get the right size, though, because there is no point in having a breathable fabric if your panties are tight AF.
4. Balance Your pH Level
As far as spring cleaning goes, one of the best things that you can do for your vagina is make sure that its pH balance is right where it should be. For the record, a healthy vagina is supposed to be somewhat acidic and hovering somewhere around 3.8 and 4.5. The reason why it needs to be acidic is because that's what helps to keep the bacteria from turning into some sort of overgrowth. And what are the signs that your vagina is way more alkaline than it needs to be? If there's a dramatic change in color, texture or smell, those are dead giveaways.
One way to know for sure (if you don't have the money or time to see your doctor) is to take an at-home pH test. If it is a little "off", try taking a probiotic supplement, eating more fermented (like pickles and yogurt) and sulfur-based (like garlic and onions) foods, eat less sugar and lower your stress levels. If nothing improves in about a week, make an appointment to see your physician anyway. You may have some sort of infection that requires extra testing and/or a prescribed antibiotic.
5. Upgrade Your Sanitary Stuff
When it comes to my personal vaginal health and, what I call, "period convenience", something that has totally changed my life for the better is a menstrual cup. But if you would still prefer to go with tampons and/or pads, another vaginal spring cleaning tip that I would recommend is going with organic brands. Not only are they free of potentially irritating things like pesticides and dye that could lead to recurring yeast infections and BV or even certain diseases up the road, organic brands can actually help to lessen period cramps and prevent skin issues such as dermatitis.
If you need a little help in choosing which brands are best, Glowing Nest did a review on organic pads that you can check out by clicking here and Influenster did a review on organic tampons that you can check out here.
6. Clean Your Clitoral Hood
I've shared before that I once read about a woman whose clitoral hood was so swollen and irritated that her doctor ended up having to cut her hood off. Eww. The problem was there was so much hair, dried discharge, lint and overall gunk in there that the extra skin had to be removed in order to get it all out (whew). It got to that point because she didn't clean her clitoral hood.
I know it's not really something that we think about a lot but just to put everything into perspective—how would you feel if your man was uncircumcised and never cleaned his foreskin? A clitoris is a lot like a little penis in the sense that it's got a ton of nerve endings and it gets erect when it's aroused. And the hood of it? That is the foreskin. So yeah, once a month or so, dip a Q-tip in some olive, sweet almond or coconut oil, very gently push the hood back (as far as it will comfortably go) and rub the tip in order to dislodge what may be underneath. If your clitoris has been itching lately and you're pretty sure it's not an infection of some sort, it needing to be "spring cleaned" is probably the problem.
7. Schedule a Wax Appointment
It was literally this year that I started waxing. It started with my eyebrows because, for some reason, my threader seemed to be on a mission to thin mine out as much as possible. Yet as I became more comfortable with my totally bomb waxer, I decided that I was tired of literally bending over backwards to try and remove the stray hairs along parts of the inside of my butt (including what she calls the "coin purse" which is right where the crease of the butt begins). I had her do it instead. And man! It has been life-changing. It wasn't painful (just a little uncomfortable, but it's over really fast) and it lasts for weeks on end.
She's been trying to talk me into a Brazilian. I'm good on that. I like having grown woman hairs around my vagina. But what I will say is, as far as spring cleaning your vagina goes, if you want to tame some hairs or remove them altogether so that you can feel really clean and fresh down below, making a wax appointment is 1000 percent the way to go.
8. Condition Your Pubic Hair
Question. When's the last time you conditioned your pubic hair? I wouldn't be surprised in the least if it's something that you haven't exactly considered before but why wouldn't you do it every once in a while? Hair, anywhere, that is deeply moisturized can end up feeling smoother and being so much easier to manage. And in this case, if you happen to go with a conditioner that is high in vitamins A and E, it can help to unclog pores and prevent ingrown hairs.
The key is to make sure that you only apply the conditioner only where your pubic hair is and that you don't get any inside of your vagina (because that could irritate it). Let the conditioner sit for about 10 minutes and then rinse thoroughly. If you do this for about a week, you will notice a really big difference. (Feel free to add some Vitamin E oil at the end for some additional sheen.)
9. Sanitize Your Sex Toys
If you've got a stash of sex toys, now is a good a time as any to give them a really thorough cleaning. Make sure that you go with an antibacterial kind that is unscented because that will significantly decrease the chances of your clean toys irritating you once you're ready to use them again. If your toy happens to vibrate, wash it with a clean washcloth. If it doesn't, you can run it underneath some warm water and then clean it with the cloth. If your toys happen to be made out of glass, silicone or stainless-steel, you can actually boil them for 3-5 minutes in order to completely sterilize them. In any case, once you're done cleaning them, you can let them air dry.
10. Get Some “Naked in the Bed” Bedding
Definitely, one of the best things that you could ever do for your vagina is sleep in the buff. It's just one more way for your vagina to breathe since it's been cooped up in layers of clothing all day long. That said, one thing that a lot of people don't really think about is the kind of bedding that they should sleep naked in. Natural fibers are definitely the way to go. Organic cotton is great. So is bamboo. They are both breathable, soft and able to keep your body cool throughout the night. Hey, new sheets are supposed to be purchased every 2-3 years, so in the spirit of spring cleaning your vagina, why not get a couple of new sets this month? You'll adore it and your vagina will even more. Happy cleaning!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Message From A Mad Black Woman: Y’all Keep The Blue Bracelets, We’ll Take Our Rest.
Mere hours after the 2024 presidential election results made it clear that the United States would need to gird its loins for a second Trump presidency, a gaggle of women ran over to social media to announce that blue bracelets would serve as a new sign of solidarity. A safe space, if you will.
This declaration came about in response to Black women openly voicing their disappointment in both the election results and exit poll data that showed that not just white people, but Latinos and women of “all other races” had played a surprising role in the now President-Elect, Donald Trump’s reelection.
These exit polls quickly became the object of Black women’s attention and ultimate disappointment. Because while Black women went out and reliably voted for Vice President Kamala Harris to the tune of 91%, white women handed Trump 53% of their collective vote, Latino women 36%, and women of “other races” 46%.
On the night of November 5, 2024, Black women were left in shock. This shock would morph into disappointment, and the disappointment was a consequence of what, some would begin to argue, felt like, well, betrayal.
Like Rome, though, this heart-wrenching disappointment wasn’t built in a day.
Screenshot from "2024 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Set-Up
On Sunday, July 21, President Joe Biden announced that he would not be seeking reelection - a decision that followed the disastrous one-and-done debate against former president Donald Trump, the subsequent wavering of major donors, and growing calls for a new candidate to run on the Democrat’s ticket. Hours after Biden’s announcement, Vice President Kamala Harris would send Beyoncé's internet into a frenzy by announcing that she would seek the party’s nomination.
That July night, 44,000 Black women assembled via Zoom to stress test the limits of the meeting app, break historical fundraising records, and strategize - subsequently setting into motion a series of virtual meet-ups. As a result, more Zoom meetings cropped up, bringing together attendees connected through countless combinations of backgrounds, orientations, and genders.
One said meeting was held by and for 164,000 “White Women for Kamala” who’d come together to publicly declare that they’d regretted not doing more in 2016 and were ready to use their privilege for the sake of advocacy and allyship.
A woman wearing an anti-Trump button as she listens to Democratic presidential nominee VP Kamala Harris speak at a campaign event on Oct. 18, 2024.
Bill Pugliano/Getty Images
For months, white women made it a point to convince Black women that they were on board - ensuring us that they were ready to seize their second chance at pushing back on the pillars of the patriarchy. The same group who’d failed to answer the call of rejecting Trump’s racist, sexist, and xenophobic antics before swore, for months, that they’d seen the error of their ways and were looking for redemption. The alleged fix? Betting better. Doing more. Voting differently.
While there was an understanding undertone of apprehension from Black women, the rhetoric began to lend itself to hope — with some going so far as to lift the moratorium on cookout invites. There seemed to be a collective sigh. A brief moment of unity.
The Let-Down
Little did Black women know, they were about to be played like a fiddle by the same group who, like in 2016 and 2020, were more interested in their own self-preservation than in actual change. This short-lived hope was dashed on Nov. 5 as the true nature of performative allyship became evident.
Turns out, the Black women who’d served at the helm of the movement, bless their hearts, had been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Swindled. Like a modern-day Boo Boo the Fool. Believing the hook, line, and sinker, it was almost cute, in a tragic sort of way. They saw the potential, the hope, and the promise, drinking the red Kool-Aid, so to speak, eagerly awaiting the revolution.
The excessive blue hearts and social media commentary pledging solidarity had turned out to be performative or had over-indexed the voices of the 44% who were actually in solidarity. Either way, the seemingly overwhelming allyship wasn’t there, reminding Black women that while they are constantly expected to stand on the front lines for so many, rarely is there any ally who will actually show up for them.
A History of Short-Lived, Self-Serving Allyship
The 2024 election wasn’t the first time we’d seen this type of performative allyship, though. While a noble concept in theory, the kinds of allyship that have been displayed in many movements across The States have far too often missed the actual point. In fact, throughout U.S. history, allyship has actually been used more as a tool to bolster a single group’s positioning in the social hierarchy rather than genuinely advocating for the progression of marginalized groups.
Think back to 2020. Just months after the COVID-19 pandemic forced much of the country into isolation, remote work, the acknowledgment of essential workers as, well, essential, and, for some reason, bread-making. For 9 minutes and 29 seconds, the world watched, helplessly, as a powerless George Floyd was slowly pulled away from the world, drained by Officer Derek Chauvin's knee to his nape. In a traumatic 8 minutes and 46 seconds, the world seemingly changed.
Ira L. Black/Corbis via Getty Images
Protests quickly spread across the globe, and along with it, a wave of “allyship” swept across America. Large corporations, scrambling to answer the calls of Black employees, consumers, and investors demanding that they use their financial prowess to do more to prevent the next Floyd, almost instantly began releasing statements of solidarity, pledging donations to “racial justice” causes, and promising to promote more Black employees.
However, as quickly as these gestures showed up, most were forgotten, with almost all proving to have provided minimal impact on the groups they’d pledged to help. While some companies, like Target, increased their spending on Black-owned businesses, others faced scrutiny for their lack of substantive change.
A study by Color Of Change found that only 17% of companies that pledged donations after Floyd's death had fulfilled their commitments. Data compiled by theWashington Post found that two years after America’s 50 largest publicly traded companies pledged a collective $50 billion to racial justice causes, just 37 had disbursed a collective $1.7 billion. What’s worse?
Ninety percent of the pledged amount - or $45.2 billion - had been allocated in the form of mortgages, loans, and investments that the companies themselves would more than likely benefit from. These companies said one thing and did another and still found a way to benefit from the delta.
Performative Allyship: Civil Rights & Women’s Liberation Movements
This type of allyship is new, though. It didn’t take long for powerful groups to figure out that the simple appearance of allyship was, for the most part, good for business and the bottom line. For decades, powerful entities have publicly supported movements only to be later found to have engaged in discriminatory practices, highlighting the consistent disconnect.
During the Civil Rights Movement, companies issued statements of solidarity and even donated to civil rights organizations, but behind the scenes, they continued to segregate their workforces and refuse to hire Black employees for higher-level positions. During the Women's Liberation Movement, advertisers capitalized on the feminist moment by incorporating imagery and slogans associated with women's empowerment into their campaigns, while the underlying message of many advertisements reinforced traditional gender roles and stereotypes.
The difference between what is said and what is done has time after time exposed the shallowness of allyship, highlighting how it has mostly served as a tool for public relations rather than a genuine commitment to social justice and to the marginalized groups who are most at risk by the upholding of the status quo.
For two election cycles straight, white women posed as allies and still voted in a way that upheld the power structure that they benefit from - with many understanding that the survival of white supremacy is of more value to them than sexism and misogyny is a threat. In 2016 and 2020, 52% and 55% of white women, respectively, decided that they’d rather keep their position of second place in the social hierarchy than risk dismantling it and being forced to find a new place in society.
Latino women and women of “all of the races” followed the trend - blatantly ignoring the warnings of the same Black women who have not only been on the front lines of social justice but who are often called into the lead movements in communities that are not there own - increasing their support for Trump between 2016 and 2025 by 13% and 15% respectively.
Screenshot from "2020 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Blue Bracelets are Going to Be A “No”
On the night of Nov. 5, 2024, Black women watched their country look at a qualified, experienced, capable, and willing Black woman and say, “Nah, we good.” It was on this night that a group that had been denied democratic rights for centuries, but had still attempted to rescue American democracy far too many times, only to be let down, put away the warnings, and began issuing a new declaration - they were opting out.
Black women have decided to lean into rest and recuperation - uninterested in any additional work that will, more than likely, end in disappointment and betrayal. For many Black women, the suggestion to wear blue bracelets as a symbol of solidarity is patronizing and dismissive of a greater and more complex issue. It’s a way to absolve the women who let Black women down for failing to keep promises made while simultaneously positioning the wearer as morally superior.
It fails to address the historically deep betrayal that Black women have experienced at the hands of their country and, more specifically, their own countrywomen. The request reduces the fight for equality to a simple, superficial gesture when allyship isn’t aesthetic and Black women deserve more than a symbol.
While the blue bracelets may be the new fashion choice for white women attempting to set themselves apart, to symbolize that they were on the right side of history, for many Black women, it’ll always be difficult to trust. In fact, it may serve as a symbol of a hollow and fleeting promise for the Black women who have done the tireless and thankless work for justice and equality.
For now, Black women are choosing themselves. Anywhere between a few days and the next four years should be enough time to reset and recoup. And who knows, they may even find the excess capacity means energy to train as pilots, restart forgotten yoga practices, expand the business, or earn that second Ph.D.
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Featured illustration by nadia_bormotova/Getty Images