Many people will agree that 2023 was a hot mess in the dating streets.
I have heard and read countless stories of women who were in years-long situationships or found out that their partner lived a different life than what they initially portrayed, not to mention the endless amount of ghosting stories were on the rise. As a result, 2023 left a lot of women emotionally and mentally exhausted when it came to dating. Some women even decided to throw away dating and relationships altogether due to their experiences.
Dating and relationships may not be a walk in the park, but I do believe that healthy relationships and positive dating experiences can still take place in 2024. Despite the toxic conversations taking place on podcasts, Instagram Lives, and other social media platforms, I do believe that there are both men and women who desire healthy love and dating experiences. Unfortunately, social media does not do a good job of broadcasting the platforms that are having healthy conversations around dating and relationships or highlighting the folks who genuinely desire it.
It is no secret that dating altogether has caused many folks to experience major insecurities, become depressed, or even hopeless in this area. If dating in 2023 has had a negative impact on your mental health, please do not rush into dating in 2024. Take the necessary time to process, heal, and get therapy if needed. Experiencing heartbreak is never something to take lightly. Therefore, take as much time as you need to heal and grow into a better version of yourself.
As we step into 2024, some individuals are still hopeful and emotionally healthy when it comes to dating and relationships. If you are one of those people who desire to experience a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it is crucial that you bid farewell to certain unhealthy dating habits from 2023.
1.Shifting from a scarcity mindset:
The pervasive belief in a limited dating pool has led some to settle for less than they deserve. Embracing a scarcity mindset often results in accepting the bare minimum, enduring minimal effort, and tolerating poor communication from a partner. Break free from this mindset, and avoid investing time in someone who only provides breadcrumbs of attention. Elevate your standards and seek a connection based on mutual respect and effort.
2.Avoiding situationships at all costs:
While we hoped to leave this behind in 2023, the temptation to engage in situationships may still linger, especially when physical attraction and a strong desire for a relationship are involved. However, it's essential to distinguish between genuine interest in a committed relationship and mere entertainment. Don't let the desperation for companionship hinder your path to finding a meaningful connection in 2024. Be intentional about pursuing relationships that align with your desire for commitment and shared goals.
When it comes to asking intentional questions while dating, one of the best tips I can offer is to inquire about what the individual is looking for and then patiently ‘watch’ for their response. It's common for excitement to arise, especially when someone expresses a desire for a relationship. However, it's equally important to pay attention to their actions. Consider words as an opportunity to open a door for a more thorough evaluation of what someone's actions truly confirm.
3.Having flexibility with your "type":
Debates often arise when it comes to being flexible with one's dating preferences. Reflect on whether your rigid adherence to a specific "type" has contributed positively to your dating experiences. Consider reevaluating height requirements, job titles, salary, and other superficial criteria that might limit your opportunities for genuine connections. While I am not suggesting that your standards are wrong, it may be worth considering if your current ‘type’ or ‘list’ is playing a role in why you're single.
In this reflective time, be sure to hold onto core values and beliefs as your non-negotiables and date from that stance. However, do not forget to be open-minded in other aspects to enhance opportunities for genuine connections.
4.Understanding silence won't bring satisfaction:
Effective communication is crucial, reducing confusion and unmet expectations. My therapist once emphasized the unfairness of expecting someone to meet your unknown expectations. In dating, being unapologetic about your needs is essential. While compromise is a must, sharing your values, like communication style, faith, and dating expectations, is vital.
When you're clear and honest about your needs, you give the other person an opportunity to make an effort to meet them. They may not be perfect, but the goal is to evaluate genuine effort. Muting yourself in dating can lead to accumulating resentment, heartbreak, and disempowerment in your interactions.
Remember, incorporating these changes doesn't guarantee an immediate relationship, but it positions you for a healthier one when the time is right. Here's to anticipating a relationship filled with health and devoid of unnecessary struggles in 2024. Cheers to a year of growth and meaningful connections!
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage