Let Go Of These 4 Dating Habits For A Healthier Relationship In 2024
Many people will agree that 2023 was a hot mess in the dating streets.
I have heard and read countless stories of women who were in years-long situationships or found out that their partner lived a different life than what they initially portrayed, not to mention the endless amount of ghosting stories were on the rise. As a result, 2023 left a lot of women emotionally and mentally exhausted when it came to dating. Some women even decided to throw away dating and relationships altogether due to their experiences.
Dating and relationships may not be a walk in the park, but I do believe that healthy relationships and positive dating experiences can still take place in 2024. Despite the toxic conversations taking place on podcasts, Instagram Lives, and other social media platforms, I do believe that there are both men and women who desire healthy love and dating experiences. Unfortunately, social media does not do a good job of broadcasting the platforms that are having healthy conversations around dating and relationships or highlighting the folks who genuinely desire it.
It is no secret that dating altogether has caused many folks to experience major insecurities, become depressed, or even hopeless in this area. If dating in 2023 has had a negative impact on your mental health, please do not rush into dating in 2024. Take the necessary time to process, heal, and get therapy if needed. Experiencing heartbreak is never something to take lightly. Therefore, take as much time as you need to heal and grow into a better version of yourself.
As we step into 2024, some individuals are still hopeful and emotionally healthy when it comes to dating and relationships. If you are one of those people who desire to experience a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it is crucial that you bid farewell to certain unhealthy dating habits from 2023.
1.Shifting from a scarcity mindset:
The pervasive belief in a limited dating pool has led some to settle for less than they deserve. Embracing a scarcity mindset often results in accepting the bare minimum, enduring minimal effort, and tolerating poor communication from a partner. Break free from this mindset, and avoid investing time in someone who only provides breadcrumbs of attention. Elevate your standards and seek a connection based on mutual respect and effort.
2.Avoiding situationships at all costs:
While we hoped to leave this behind in 2023, the temptation to engage in situationships may still linger, especially when physical attraction and a strong desire for a relationship are involved. However, it's essential to distinguish between genuine interest in a committed relationship and mere entertainment. Don't let the desperation for companionship hinder your path to finding a meaningful connection in 2024. Be intentional about pursuing relationships that align with your desire for commitment and shared goals.
When it comes to asking intentional questions while dating, one of the best tips I can offer is to inquire about what the individual is looking for and then patiently ‘watch’ for their response. It's common for excitement to arise, especially when someone expresses a desire for a relationship. However, it's equally important to pay attention to their actions. Consider words as an opportunity to open a door for a more thorough evaluation of what someone's actions truly confirm.
3.Having flexibility with your "type":
Debates often arise when it comes to being flexible with one's dating preferences. Reflect on whether your rigid adherence to a specific "type" has contributed positively to your dating experiences. Consider reevaluating height requirements, job titles, salary, and other superficial criteria that might limit your opportunities for genuine connections. While I am not suggesting that your standards are wrong, it may be worth considering if your current ‘type’ or ‘list’ is playing a role in why you're single.
In this reflective time, be sure to hold onto core values and beliefs as your non-negotiables and date from that stance. However, do not forget to be open-minded in other aspects to enhance opportunities for genuine connections.
4.Understanding silence won't bring satisfaction:
Effective communication is crucial, reducing confusion and unmet expectations. My therapist once emphasized the unfairness of expecting someone to meet your unknown expectations. In dating, being unapologetic about your needs is essential. While compromise is a must, sharing your values, like communication style, faith, and dating expectations, is vital.
When you're clear and honest about your needs, you give the other person an opportunity to make an effort to meet them. They may not be perfect, but the goal is to evaluate genuine effort. Muting yourself in dating can lead to accumulating resentment, heartbreak, and disempowerment in your interactions.
Remember, incorporating these changes doesn't guarantee an immediate relationship, but it positions you for a healthier one when the time is right. Here's to anticipating a relationship filled with health and devoid of unnecessary struggles in 2024. Cheers to a year of growth and meaningful connections!
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Joy is a 2x Author, Empowerment Speaker, and Strategy Coach. Her platform, Speak With Joy, mission is, "To empower and equip Women and Young Adults to speak with JOY despite life's circumstances in the area of FAITH, PURPOSE, and RELATIONSHIPS".
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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