I’ve always enjoyed the company of men. I don’t just mean on the romantic tip — I mean, I can talk to my male friends for hours on end. And dealing with male clients? Oh, I always gain a new insight or revelation. That’s why it truly does excite me whenever I get a pitch approved where I can pick men’s brains to see what’s going on in there.
When it comes to sex, specifically, some topics that I’ve already covered include “So...15 Men Told Me About What They LOVE During Sex,” “12 Men Share What Turned Them Out During Sex That Just Might Surprise You” and “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas.” And while those were quite fascinating and insightful, today, we’re going to approach sex from a bit of a different angle.
Although social media likes to act like men are only one-dimensional when it comes to copulation, I know that is a lie. At this point, I’ve talked about intimacy with a ton of guys who have not only stated that sex is so much better for them when an emotional connection is involved, but they’ve also expressed to me what the combination of really being into someone before actually getting into them (if you know what I mean) has meant as far as raising the bar in the bedroom is concerned.
And so, in the effort to buck all of the nonsense on the relationship side of TikTok (as far as the minds of men go), I decided to interview 10 guys on an experience of intimacy that impacted them in a way that it ended up not only physically unforgettable but emotionally hard to top as well. For obvious reasons, I left their relational status out (because it’s not a given that the experience was with someone who they are seeing now), and middle names are always used so that people can speak with ease.
Are you ready to see how just one experience can change everything for a man? Here we go.
GiphyAndrew. 33.
“Since no one is going to know that it’s me, I’m going to tell it how it really is. I’ve had a lot of sex, but no one has topped my first love to this day. She wasn’t the first person I’ve had sex with, but she was the first person I was totally into. Guys don’t bring it up much because it’s assumed that we just have sex with our d-ck and not much else, but when you love a woman? I mean, really love her and you’re able to be close to her in a sexual way? It doesn’t matter how good somebody else may be in bed; the way that you feel entering into someone you are crazy about makes it the best sex you’ve ever had. And since guys don’t fall in love often…it’s a rare thing.”
Roland. 27.
“The first time I had sex after a girlfriend of mine told me that she loved me; I think that has been my best experience yet. Some of you don’t want to hear it but men like to be loved on for more reasons than what we have or what we can do for someone else. The girl that I’m talking about was that kind of woman. She didn’t just tell me that she loved me; she gave me many reasons why. That took my guard down and made me trust her to the point where whatever — and I mean, WHATEVER — she wanted that night, she could get it. I haven’t thought about that time in a long time. I’m gonna ask my boys this same question at golf. It’s kind of deep.”
GiphyGalen. 30.
“I’ve only had one one-night stand, and I’m confused if it counts because it wasn’t casual. It was with a woman I met at a deli that I rarely go to. We ordered the same thing, so we went to get the food at the same time, we struck up a conversation. That turned into sharing a table outside, and that turned into drinks later that afternoon and then dinner. We couldn’t run out of things to talk about, which was weird because I’m naturally to myself, and it usually takes a while to warm up. Her mind was crazy in a good way; I just kept wanting to know more. We ended up at her house for coffee, and that turned into sex on her couch. I’m not going to lie — the first two times were quick. She hyper-stimulated me! We went out a few times after that and had sex, too, but things eventually faded because nothing could beat that first time. Sometimes it’s the person. Sometimes it’s the setting. Sometimes it’s the timing. That time it was all three. Haven’t beat it yet, and not sure I will. Damn.”
Ellison. 40.
“My wedding night, no question. Culture is crazy when it comes to marriage these days, but I was raised to take it seriously. Telling someone you love them is one thing, but pledging your life to someone else is next level. When I think back on our wedding day, it was a good day; people don’t like to mention how stressful it can be. I couldn’t wait to get alone and just be with the woman who I could call my wife. We did have sex before getting married but having sex with your ‘girlfriend’ isn’t the same thing as gettin’ it in with your wife. We belonged to each other, and our wedding night made that official. Every time I whispered ‘Mrs [so-and-so], it damn near got us both off.”
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GiphyGerritt. 25.
“Reconnecting with an ex. You have someone in your life who you know that if you had met at a later time, things would be better because you both would be in a better place? That was me and my ex. Nothing crazy broke us up but when we hooked back up online and then met up in person, the sex we had that first time? I have never experienced anything like it. I think it’s because we missed each other and were just meeting another version of ourselves at the same time. What a wild question to ask someone, girl? This shit is deep!”
Yusef. 47.
“It might be a bad comparison but it’s the one I’ve got. They say that the biggest problem with heroin is the high that you get from it the first time you try it; you won’t experience it unless you overdose, and by then, it’s too late. When your first time having sex is with someone who you love — it’s not even about all of the tricks. You both might even be virgins and don’t know what the hell is going on. The point is being so close to someone you love a lot…guys don’t fall in love a billion times like a lot of women do. It’s probably once or twice, max. And when you enter into someone you love for the first time? Men aren’t going to admit it but most of us spend the rest of our lives trying to replicate that experience again. Most of us never do.”
GiphyTorrance. 43.
“What an interesting question. I do have an immediate answer: it was with my best friend. We just broke up with our exes and got together to talk about how sick we were of their s-it. I don’t think I realized that I suppressed any attraction for my friend because she was basically always seeing somebody. After a few shots and some puffs, we were in my bed, and that was the best sex that I’ve had to this day! We had no walls, no secrets, and weren’t trying to change each other. No vulnerabilities meant no inhibitions. Next level sh-t.”
Shellie here: This actually reminds me of the Black indie movieASecond Chance. If you’ve never seen it before, it’s on Tubi. It’s cute.
Hawkins. 29.
“The first time we had sex after having our first child. Her last trimester was rough. Of course, after months of no sex, I was horny as hell, and then we had to wait the standard few weeks after she gave birth, and then she was going through some body image issues. She was self-conscious, but I didn’t care about how she looked. I missed it. I’ll admit that, at first, all I could really think about was how much I missed sex. But when I really thought about it and was like, ‘This woman gave me what no other woman has: a son’, she was sexier than she ever had been to me. Her body was different, but I didn’t care. She made a miracle happen. The lust caught me completely off guard. I couldn’t get enough of her that night!”
GiphyThaddeus. 34.
“It’s when my wife and I decided to call off our divorce, and we had sex that night. Lust is cool. Love is, too. But go through some things with someone, tough sh-t, and then come back together for no other reason than you choose to. That ‘I chose you’ sex? I felt like I damn near was gonna explode that night because I wasn’t just attracted to her; I really trusted her. We decided to spend the rest of our marriage trying to top that night. We sure as hell have been having a ball trying, I’ll tell you that!”
Rexell. 30.
“Game night with friends. When it’s couples, a game that displays who knows their partner best is almost always gonna go down. One night, we played three of those games, and my girlfriend and I won each one over some folks in the room who’d been married for years. I didn’t expect it to be a turn-on but the fact that we had learned each other so well and she kept up with some minute details about me had me almost hard, right there on the couch. Sex when you are known and connected is the best sex you’ll ever have. Good times, good times.”
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See…I told you that when it comes to intimacy, men are not “kiddie pool” shallow. Just like us, many of them crave some type of real mental and emotional connection because, even to them, it makes sex better.
Just a reminder to prioritize quality time with your partner.
It’s great for your relationship. It makes what goes down in your bedroom so much better, too.
10 men just sat up here and cosigned on it.
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Featured image by Giphy
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert