Angela Benton has made a lot of changes over the last few years.
She's traded in San Francisco's Sillicon Valley, a place that she called home for over five years while building her company NewMe Accelerator, for scenic views of Miami's crystal blue waters. The technology company that used to run her due to countless meetings with budding entrepreneurs, investors, and tech industry disruptors is now running smoothly with little effort. Even her dietary habits have changed. She's trading in turkey for tofu in an attempt to transition to a vegan diet, though she admits that her fear of being hungry all the time is keeping her from fully embracing the lifestyle.
But the changes didn't come without a little push—a wake up call even. In fact, it was her diagnosis for early stage breast cancer that set of an alarm and nearly forced Benton to slow down and reevaluate her life. “What's funny is that things were changing in my life anyway, and things were just moving out of the way organically on its own," says Benton. “And now I guess I can see why."
Benton is the definition of a go-getter, something that followed her from her childhood days as a basketball player waking up with a Kobe state-of-mind of bettering her ball-handling skills from sunrise to sunset, but her entrepreneurial spirit came from her parents. Her dad was always working on projects while her mom dabbled with ideas of her own. But tech? That was something that wasn't initially on Angela's mind—boys were. At 16 she became a mom to what would be the first of three daughters. Not that being a young mother slowed her down any. She continued moving and shaking with the best of them—balancing school, a part time job, and night courses so that she could graduate early. At 20 she was married, and her second daughter was learning to walk while she working on her BFA in visual communications. And by 24, she had her third daughter and a MFA in graphic design to match.
Raising a family while juggling a career helped Angela master the art of management, catapulting her from a freelance graphic designer to a director of digital strategy where she worked on everything from web design to front-end development. As a minority in the digital space, she developed an interest of sharing the knowledge and experiences of Black entrepreneurs in tech, and in 2007 she launched Black Web 2.0 (now B20), and pursued her passion project full-time soon after.
On the career front Benton was winning. Black Web was becoming the go-to site for tech news and the mom boss was building her brand as a minority leader in the digital space.
But at home it was a different story. Her six-year marriage to her high-school sweetheart was no longer serving either of them, and at 26 she was signing divorce papers. “The marriage that we had was a period where we both grew as individuals during the marriage and then towards the end of it I think I probably felt like I had outgrown a situation. I looked at my life from a state of awareness and I'm asking myself what my feel is this it? Is this all that I'm supposed to be doing? I felt that towards the end of my marriage that I couldn't be who I was meant to be in the relationship."
"I felt that towards the end of my marriage that I couldn't be who I was meant to be in the relationship."
They parted amicably, and Benton continued to go full throttle in her career. In 2010 she launched her NewME Accelerator platform to help minority startups get the funding and knowledge needed to create successful businesses, such as how to get investors to fund their ideas.
“When you're talking to an investor and trying to pitch your idea, it's so important to say the right things and to say it just enough and not too much. A lot of entrepreneurs over talk and then some of [the investors] are not interested anymore because what an entrepreneur doesn't realize is that they've exposed the flaw in their business model, or they've exposed the flaw in their marketing just because they were talking too much."
To date, NewMe has helped startups raise over $20 million in venture capital funding. Meanwhile, Benton was racking up her own successes. In 2010, she was listed on Ebony magazine's Power 150 and in 2013 Goldman Sachs' 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs, in addition to features in Forbes and participating in a number of discussions about the evolution of the tech industry and entrepreneurship.
“There's definitely a lot more people of color in tech now, so I think that is for sure going to continue," says Benton. “The level that it's at is what I think is going to be interesting. I think we'll have a lot of smaller businesses, and that's okay. I think when people think of tech starters it's almost like they have to be a billion dollar company and if they're not a billion dollar company they're a failure, and that's certainly not true. The whole game of being an entrepreneur is having some kind of exit. That's what we're working so hard for, is to have a company acquire their company for some odd millions and now they can just chill and relax or work on another idea."
Her own wins attest to the amount of time and effort that is often required of entrepreneurs, but the no-sleep lifestyle that often comes with being a boss can sometimes take a toll on health. While Benton can't quite pinpoint the cause of her diagnosis, she's taking the necessary steps to ensure that she gets back to optimal health, and for once that means making herself the number one priority as she focuses on her health and takes the time to exhale.
“I think that my life is a little different from most people, because when you're in your 20s and before you have kids, you kind of have time to yourself; I've never really had that—at all. So that's kind of what I'm doing and it's also just on what I really want. And figuring out what I want, is what I want to change from where I was at last year then that's also okay."
The time alone without the stress of having to run a day-to-day operation has allowed her some much needed reflection on everything from her lifestyle to her relationships. “The whole cancer diagnosis is pivotal in my life and has made me reflect on a lot of things, why you meet certain people and why certain things happen in the way that they do. I've just gotten a lot of support from [my ex-husband], so I just feel like our relationship we are in each other's lives for whatever reason and I guess I'm always hoping that I have connections that are more like that than superficial. It's more about if the people, places and things around you are nurturing you. If it's nurturing you, then it should be propelling you to the highest version of yourself. If you're doing anything less than that then what's the point?"
"If it's nurturing you, then it should be propelling you to the highest version of yourself."
Openly sharing her journey from chemotherapy to cutting her curls with her social media followers has enabled Benton to continue empowering others even outside of the tech industry.
Through her vulnerability she continues to exude the same strength that has brought her the awards and accolades throughout her career.
“I just feel like women are so powerful. Not in a power hungry kind of way, but in the most humble way possible. We're a quiet kind of power."
Catch more of Angela Benton's story in her powerful new book, "Revival" in stores and on Amazon.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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