
So, Experts Have Something To Say About Your Intuition's Accuracy

Recently, I found myself intrigued by the article "Women's Intuition: Myth or Reality?" Because I've witnessed women do some amazing and also straight-up crazy things, both under the guise of their intuition, I wanted to see what a professional had to say about it.
I must admit that when I first saw that it was a man who wrote the piece, I was tempted to give a bit of side-eye. But I must say, a lot of what he shared was actually quite insightful. The CliffsNotes were, because we as women are better at picking up on non-verbal communication cues (facial expressions, body language, etc.), and also because we're more open than men are on an overall emotional level, that makes us more tapped into what folks are thinking and feeling than (most) guys are. At the same time, the author also said that while this makes us more skilled at non-verbal communication, he wasn't completely sold on if "intuitive" was the word that should be used. Therefore, I decided to dig deeper.
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Next, I checked out what a neuroscientist had to share on the topic of whether or not we could trust our gut instincts or intuition. Keep in mind that it's a neuroscientist talking so it's not exactly black-and-white reading, but what did catch my attention was this—"Because intuition relies on evolutionarily order, automatic and fast processing, it also falls prey to misguidances, such as cognitive biases."
Meaning, like an article that I penned for the site on gut instincts a while back, relying solely on your intuition can cause you to be a pretty presumptuous individual. Impulsive too, if you're not careful.
Another article said that one reason why we shouldn't get too cocky about our intuition is because it oftentimes can be mistaken for overthinking. Here's an illustrative scenario. Your man sends three of your calls to voicemail one night, you see him two days later, confront him about it and he breaks eye contact as he stumbles through his words. You've been cheated on before, so your intuition is telling you that could be what's going on now. Once it gets to this point, oftentimes one set of people will immediately react while the other will "feed the monster", so to speak, and stew on it. They will set up a stalker IG account to see what their guy's been up to. They will Google track his whereabouts. They will talk to 10 different people and only retain the convos from the ones who agree with their hypothesis. They will mull over it all for days on end. So much to the point that, by the time they see their man again, they are in full accusation mode and totally ready to call it quits—all the while saying that they are following their intuition. Brother.
Why are a lot of people like this? Some are just uber-dramatic and/or have a lot of baggage that they are carrying around (cue Erykah's "Bag Lady" here). But for those who aren't, there is a bit of a scientific reason; especially when it comes to women. The reason why a lot of us overthink is because there's a greater amount of blood (which means nutrients and energy) that flows to the prefrontal cortex part of our brain; it's the part that is responsible for feelings like empathy, concern and yes, intuition. OK, so that sounds like we are designed to be intuitive, right? Kinda.
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According to even more scientific research in this area, it is true that we are able to make faster decisions when we rely on our intuition and oftentimes, those decisions are accurate. That's the good part. However, researchers also warn that sometimes intuition is nothing more than wishful thinking or projecting your feelings onto something—or someone. It's the someone part that made me want to pen this piece to begin with.
I don't know about you, but a lot of people I know who profess to do just about everything based on their intuition are also individuals who think they know others, even better than those individuals know themselves; that because they are so "intuitive", they are basically mind-readers. They know what their significant other really means, even if it is totally different from what they actually say. They know what their friend is truly up to, even if their friend has stated the complete opposite. They know all of what the future holds simply because they "feel it in their bones"—all because of their uncanny intuition.
If that is you, not so fast. Something that a therapist who has conducted studies and focus groups on mind-reading has stated is no matter how much we may pride ourselves on picking up non-verbal signs, unless we straight up ask for the information that we seek, oftentimes what we perceive is totally different from the actual facts; that most of us aren't as "in touch" with reading others as much as we think that we are.
That makes sense too when you think about the actual dictionary definitions of for "intuition". Did you notice how the first one (provided here) said that it's about having a perception of truth that doesn't include reasoning? Reasoning is "the process of forming conclusions, judgments, or inferences from facts or premises". Why should anyone feel overly confident about always operating from that space? They shouldn't. No one should. Folks do it all of the time, though. Unfortunately.
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An example that the therapist gave was showing up five minutes late to meet someone and the person not having a welcoming look on their face. While you may think it's because they are upset with you, it could be that they just got off of an unsettling phone call, their server was rude or they're simply not feeling well. Since your intuition is telling you that it's you, you may already be hyper-sensitive or on the defensive. That can make the energy of the meeting go all kinds of wrong. Only by asking can you know for sure what's up. Yet sadly, because a lot of people who lean so hard on their intuition don't ask, they tend to make quite a few mistakes when it comes to how they communicate with others (whether they choose to admit it or not); especially if they are operating from an anxious place or they think in a way that is biased.
So, what does all of this boil down to? Does intuition exist? Yes. Do women have more of it than men? When it comes to reading non-verbal communication, yes.
When it comes to assuming, presuming and reading people's minds, most of us are cockier than we need to be—and functioning in that space can do more harm than good. And no, a woman's intuition isn't always right. When we are anxious or biased, it can be wrong. Very wrong.
I already know. Some of y'all are going to be like, "Girl, bye. My intuition is totally on point." Maybe it is. Maybe it ain't. But when it comes to dealing with other people, how about asking them about what your intuition is telling you? That's one (humble) way to know for sure. Hmph.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Synthetic Braiding Hair & Chemicals: What To Know & What To Do Next
When I was younger, one of my favorite hairstyles was cornrows. I would get them long (as long as mom would allow me to get) with beads on the end. To get the length I wanted, I would add synthetic braiding hair.
Just like many other Black women I know, going to the hair store with my mom or other family members to grab a pack of kanekalon braiding hair was the norm. As I grew up and advanced, so did the hair industry.
Now, when you go to the hair store you are inundated with all kinds of hair textures, colors, and more. That’s why it was so upsetting to read the latest report about synthetic braiding hair.
Delmaine Donson/ Getty Images
A Feb 27 Consumer Reports article revealed that most popular synthetic hair brands that are used for braiding have dangerous chemicals such as carcinogens, lead and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The report stated that 10 of the brands were tested and all 10 had these chemicals. These brands included Shake-N-Go, Sassy Collection, and Sensationnel.
These chemicals include benzene, which is a carcinogen that has been linked to acute myeloid leukemia and unsafe levels of lead, which can cause kidney damage, brain damage, and cardiovascular problems in adults.
In children, it can cause brain and nervous system damage, learning disabilities, behavioral problems and even developmental delays.
James E. Rogers, PhD, director and head of product safety testing led the testing for synthetic braiding hair. “Our exposure and risk analysis found all nine products could expose a regular user of any of these products to a level of lead that could be concerning over time,” he said.
As shocking as this is, it also brought some clarity around why I’ve had issues with wearing braiding hair as of late.
Not only have I dealt with scalp irritation, I’ve even had breakouts on my back from the hair touching. Since then, I’ve started rinsing the hair with apple cider vinegar, and haven’t had that many issues. However, the report stated that ACV isn’t a “cure-all” and can potentially release harmful chemicals when rinsing the hair.
@javonford16 Replying to @Julianna Rebundle vid: @Javon Ford Beauty #blackhairstyles #braidinghair #blackgirlhairstyles @Consumer Reports
While the report sparked some outrage, chemist Javon Ford has a different view. In a TikTok video, he shared that the report was tested for oral exposure and not dermal exposure.
He showed a screenshot of an email he allegedly sent Consumer Reports questioning their decision to test this way. The email said, “the best model to use, in our view, is the ingestion model for the reasons given in the article.”
“While I understand they went with that model, I don’t agree with it because you’re not intentionally ingesting braids,” Javon said. The chemist also said that the amount of chemicals found in the brands is “conservative” compared to other types of products.
So what does this mean for us braid-wearers? If you still want to wear braids, but have some concerns, you can limit how often you wear them. Another option is wearing non-toxic braiding hair or plant-based hair. The only downside is that it's pricier than synthetic hair.
The Consumer Report also suggested checking for recalls, reading labels carefully, and reporting adverse effects. Hair isn’t regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, so it’s best to do your research when making purchases.
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Feature image by AzmanL/ Getty Images