'I Encourage Women To Have 'F.U.' Money': What Tyra Taught Me About Financial Freedom
The minute you decide to take control over your own life and happiness, you will be amazed at the results.
While there are some things in life that we cannot control--like bad weather, gas prices, or getting older--there are two things that you can control -- your happiness and your hustle.
In a recent interview with Glamourmagazine, Tyra Banks dished out several career tips and made me realize how important it is to be the boss in all aspects of life. As a woman of many titles, the media mogul is not a rookie when it comes down to being fearless and a true #girlboss.
Through her many jobs and business ventures, Tyra has always figured out a way to stay in control. She sets a great example for young women and is proof that when you know how to control your money, happiness, and learn how to hustle hard for the life you want, life becomes a little bit easier.
Check out a few career and life lessons that I learned from Tyra Banks, the queen of fierceness.
1. Know when to restrategize and reshape your personal brand
In the interview, Tyra discussed how becoming successful wasn't easy. In the beginning of her career, she had so many doors slammed in her face, but she used each "no" as a learning experience, and learned how to find other ways to reach her goals. Even after she became successful, Tyra noted that some people were still giving her a hard time. Later in her modeling career, she began to hear things like, "You're getting too thick," which for most models would have forced them to get on Kanye's workout plan and drink nothing but skinny detox teas. Tyra, on the other hand, took that criticism and found a way to use it to her advantage. She figured a way to restrategize her career around that criticism and found modeling gigs that weren't afraid of a woman with curves, like Victoria's Secret and Sports Illustrated.
Just like Tyra, we have to know when we should look into reshaping our personal brand when certain circumstances occur. When this happens, you should continue to stay true to your values, but should also figure out ways that you can improve your personal brand so that you are more marketable. For example, if I am an HR manager that is famous for successfully recruiting through job search engines, I have to learn how to restrategize and refine my recruiting techniques as the demand of the world changes.
2. Never Stop Studying Your Craft
When Tyra decided to choose the catwalk over college, her mom made sure that Tyra was driven and had a "can't stop, won't stop" attitude. In the interview with Glamour Tyra said,
"I [found] a fashion library in downtown L.A. I went and read magazines, watched tapes, and learned the top photographers. I was like, wow, there are big pearls at Chanel, and at Yves Saint Laurent they have hair slicked back in a chignon and red lips. So I went to Paris and put beads on my neck to walk for Karl Lagerfeld, and put on some red lipstick in the alley for Yves Saint Laurent's people. And I booked 25 fashion shows."
Tyra's success shows that she has always believed in the value of preparation. From the beginning, she worked extremely hard so that she was always prepared for anything that came her way. Even once opportunities began to knock on her door, Tyra had a bold and a fearless attitude. She took the opportunities by the horn, and gave each one all that she had, which in turn helped her reach the level of success that she has now.
[Tweet "Be prepared and be bold. "]
As professionals, it is important for us to stay on top of our game by sharpening our skills and learning as much as we can so that we are always prepared. Just like Tyra, once we receive the opportunity, we need to be bold and believe in ourselves. Too often, we wish so hard for certain careers, but then we fall into a level of uncertainty and a lack of confidence.
I remember when I received my first management job, I was extremely surprised because I was offered it even though I hadn't even applied for it. I originally applied for a lower level job, but apparently I was amazing in my interview so they offered something greater to me. When I got the call for the management job, I was so surprised and confused--like really, who in their right mind was trusting little ole' meto lead a team when I had zero experience and was still trying to figure out who in the hell I was as a person? The attitude that I had affected me in the first few months of my job, and it taught me that by playing small and not believing in myself, I was hurting myself the most. Just like Tyra, it is important to remain fierce and to believe in yourself at all times.
3. It's Okay To Be Vulnerable
Tyra mentioned that her Harvard Business School professor taught them that it is okay to be vulnerable. "Show emotions. If you feel like frigging crying, cry."
For Tyra, that piece of advice stuck. To her, it was more than being vulnerable, it was about being real to yourself so that you are not being someone that you are not. Sometimes when we hear the word "vulnerable" we associate that with being weak, but it is the exact opposite.
Vulnerability implies having the courage to be yourself. The best employees and managers know how to be vulnerable and they understand that vulnerability is what brings out our authenticity and helps us connect with others.
4. Never Be Afraid To Take A Break
When asked what she would tell her 25-year-old self, Tyra replied, "Take some time for yourself. You're still gonna be successful if you go on that vacation. I felt I had to sacrifice, that I needed to constantly go."
You should never work yourself crazy to the point where you are just going through the motions of life, but aren't truly living. Just like Tyra said, "you will still be successful if you go on that vacation." The world will not end if you take a little time out for you, to do things that youlike to do. Now I'm not saying that you should have a "treat yo'self" day everyday, but occasionally you should definitely have some "me" time.
[Tweet "Never work yourself crazy to the point where you are just going through the motions of life."]
5. There Is Power In Financial Freedom And Having Your Own
Tyra tapped into the importance of being in control of your financial freedom by discussing what she learned from her mom's experiences.
"My mom stayed with my dad for too long because of financial reasons. If she'd just had a little side hustle, a little of her own money, she would have left. So I encourage women to have what I call 'F.U.' money."
Tyra feels that we all need our own money to do things independently and to not feel constrained. Having this money gives us financial freedom and it keeps us in control of our lives. If you don't know how to take better control over your money, you will find yourself stuck in places or situations because you cannot afford to do anything else or go anywhere else. Taking control of your money means putting more than $20 in your savings account when you think about it. Taking control of your money means saving at least 10% of your income and also finding ways to invest and grow your money. With your savings account, treat it like it's another bill and pay this "bill" every time you get paid. If you are horrible at paying your bills, set up automatic payments and have the money for your "bill" deducted out of your paycheck, and sent to your savings account on a consistent basis.
Learning how to manage your money is one of the most important things that you will ever learn how to do.
[Tweet "When you have financial freedom and money saved, you won't feel confined to people, jobs, or situations."]
Tyra is definitely someone that you can look up to when trying to figure out how to be a boss and take control over your life.
Let us know below how you plan on taking control over your happiness, career, and finances!
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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