The minute you decide to take control over your own life and happiness, you will be amazed at the results.
While there are some things in life that we cannot control--like bad weather, gas prices, or getting older--there are two things that you can control -- your happiness and your hustle.
In a recent interview with Glamourmagazine, Tyra Banks dished out several career tips and made me realize how important it is to be the boss in all aspects of life. As a woman of many titles, the media mogul is not a rookie when it comes down to being fearless and a true #girlboss.
Through her many jobs and business ventures, Tyra has always figured out a way to stay in control. She sets a great example for young women and is proof that when you know how to control your money, happiness, and learn how to hustle hard for the life you want, life becomes a little bit easier.
Check out a few career and life lessons that I learned from Tyra Banks, the queen of fierceness.
1. Know when to restrategize and reshape your personal brand
In the interview, Tyra discussed how becoming successful wasn't easy. In the beginning of her career, she had so many doors slammed in her face, but she used each "no" as a learning experience, and learned how to find other ways to reach her goals. Even after she became successful, Tyra noted that some people were still giving her a hard time. Later in her modeling career, she began to hear things like, "You're getting too thick," which for most models would have forced them to get on Kanye's workout plan and drink nothing but skinny detox teas. Tyra, on the other hand, took that criticism and found a way to use it to her advantage. She figured a way to restrategize her career around that criticism and found modeling gigs that weren't afraid of a woman with curves, like Victoria's Secret and Sports Illustrated.
Just like Tyra, we have to know when we should look into reshaping our personal brand when certain circumstances occur. When this happens, you should continue to stay true to your values, but should also figure out ways that you can improve your personal brand so that you are more marketable. For example, if I am an HR manager that is famous for successfully recruiting through job search engines, I have to learn how to restrategize and refine my recruiting techniques as the demand of the world changes.
2. Never Stop Studying Your Craft
When Tyra decided to choose the catwalk over college, her mom made sure that Tyra was driven and had a "can't stop, won't stop" attitude. In the interview with Glamour Tyra said,
"I [found] a fashion library in downtown L.A. I went and read magazines, watched tapes, and learned the top photographers. I was like, wow, there are big pearls at Chanel, and at Yves Saint Laurent they have hair slicked back in a chignon and red lips. So I went to Paris and put beads on my neck to walk for Karl Lagerfeld, and put on some red lipstick in the alley for Yves Saint Laurent's people. And I booked 25 fashion shows."
Tyra's success shows that she has always believed in the value of preparation. From the beginning, she worked extremely hard so that she was always prepared for anything that came her way. Even once opportunities began to knock on her door, Tyra had a bold and a fearless attitude. She took the opportunities by the horn, and gave each one all that she had, which in turn helped her reach the level of success that she has now.
[Tweet "Be prepared and be bold. "]
As professionals, it is important for us to stay on top of our game by sharpening our skills and learning as much as we can so that we are always prepared. Just like Tyra, once we receive the opportunity, we need to be bold and believe in ourselves. Too often, we wish so hard for certain careers, but then we fall into a level of uncertainty and a lack of confidence.
I remember when I received my first management job, I was extremely surprised because I was offered it even though I hadn't even applied for it. I originally applied for a lower level job, but apparently I was amazing in my interview so they offered something greater to me. When I got the call for the management job, I was so surprised and confused--like really, who in their right mind was trusting little ole' meto lead a team when I had zero experience and was still trying to figure out who in the hell I was as a person? The attitude that I had affected me in the first few months of my job, and it taught me that by playing small and not believing in myself, I was hurting myself the most. Just like Tyra, it is important to remain fierce and to believe in yourself at all times.
3. It's Okay To Be Vulnerable
Tyra mentioned that her Harvard Business School professor taught them that it is okay to be vulnerable. "Show emotions. If you feel like frigging crying, cry."
For Tyra, that piece of advice stuck. To her, it was more than being vulnerable, it was about being real to yourself so that you are not being someone that you are not. Sometimes when we hear the word "vulnerable" we associate that with being weak, but it is the exact opposite.
Vulnerability implies having the courage to be yourself. The best employees and managers know how to be vulnerable and they understand that vulnerability is what brings out our authenticity and helps us connect with others.
4. Never Be Afraid To Take A Break
When asked what she would tell her 25-year-old self, Tyra replied, "Take some time for yourself. You're still gonna be successful if you go on that vacation. I felt I had to sacrifice, that I needed to constantly go."
You should never work yourself crazy to the point where you are just going through the motions of life, but aren't truly living. Just like Tyra said, "you will still be successful if you go on that vacation." The world will not end if you take a little time out for you, to do things that youlike to do. Now I'm not saying that you should have a "treat yo'self" day everyday, but occasionally you should definitely have some "me" time.
[Tweet "Never work yourself crazy to the point where you are just going through the motions of life."]
5. There Is Power In Financial Freedom And Having Your Own
Tyra tapped into the importance of being in control of your financial freedom by discussing what she learned from her mom's experiences.
"My mom stayed with my dad for too long because of financial reasons. If she'd just had a little side hustle, a little of her own money, she would have left. So I encourage women to have what I call 'F.U.' money."
Tyra feels that we all need our own money to do things independently and to not feel constrained. Having this money gives us financial freedom and it keeps us in control of our lives. If you don't know how to take better control over your money, you will find yourself stuck in places or situations because you cannot afford to do anything else or go anywhere else. Taking control of your money means putting more than $20 in your savings account when you think about it. Taking control of your money means saving at least 10% of your income and also finding ways to invest and grow your money. With your savings account, treat it like it's another bill and pay this "bill" every time you get paid. If you are horrible at paying your bills, set up automatic payments and have the money for your "bill" deducted out of your paycheck, and sent to your savings account on a consistent basis.
Learning how to manage your money is one of the most important things that you will ever learn how to do.
[Tweet "When you have financial freedom and money saved, you won't feel confined to people, jobs, or situations."]
Tyra is definitely someone that you can look up to when trying to figure out how to be a boss and take control over your life.
Let us know below how you plan on taking control over your happiness, career, and finances!
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Eldest Daughter Syndrome had its viral moment online last year, and for good reason. The term gave language to the silent pressures so many eldest daughters tend to carry as a result of their birth order. Beyond that very needed conversation, birth order as a whole can offer insight into not only our traits and tendencies, but also how we show up in life, love, and even our work.
Below, we’re breaking down the traits most commonly associated with each birth order. Keep reading to learn what your birth order might say about you.
If you are the oldest...
Let's be real, being the firstborn often comes with a lot of responsibility. And it's usually not by choice. From early on, they’re the ones who set the tone, carry the weight, and take on the title of "the responsible one." Because of that, they often grow into reliable, high-achieving adults. But the pressure of being "the blueprint" and the one to "lead by example" can also be a heavy burden to bear.
Oldest child traits may look like:
- Natural leaders that take charge even when they didn’t mean to (read: she's bossy, but keeping it cute)
- High standards (for yourself and everyone else)
- Motivated, goal-oriented, and always chasing that next accomplishment
- Reliable and conscientious
- Perfectionist tendencies that can lead to burnout
- Struggles with being controlling or micromanaging
- Often cautious, craving stability over spontaneity
- Finds it hard to rest or ask for help
If you are the middle child...
Season 2 Netflix GIF by Gilmore Girls GiphyIn the grand scheme of the birth order lineup, the middle child can be the quiet MVPs. As the child who falls in the order "in-between," they’re used to being the one who keeps the peace while also fighting to stand out. But being the “in-between” can also mean feeling overlooked or forgotten. In some families, especially ones with toxic dynamics, the middle child may even take on the role of the "black sheep," while their siblings are seen as the golden children. Still, despite (or maybe because of) that, middle children tend to thrive socially and can read a room like the back of their hand.
Middle child traits may include:
- Top-tier peacemakers who can smooth over almost any situation
- Adaptable and easygoing (even when they’re lowkey screaming inside)
- Often feel overlooked or like they have to do the most to be seen
- People-pleasers who put everyone else first
- Social butterflies and community-minded, with strong friendships outside the family
- Can be rebellious when they feel boxed in
- Thrive when they’re allowed to define success on their own terms
- The ultimate go-between, translating vibes between generations, personalities, and moods
If you are the youngest...
Season 1 Ff GIF by FreeformGiphyThe baby of the family walks through life knowing how to charm, persuade, and perform. They often grow up with more freedom and fewer expectations, which fuels their adventurous and carefree side. But that same freedom can sometimes lead to entitlement, or a tendency to seek validation by being the "fun one."
Youngest child traits might include:
- Social butterflies who light up a room and don’t mind the spotlight
- Natural charmers, funny, flirtatious, and usually down for anything
- Can be a little self-centered or attention-seeking (but you still love them for it)
- Tend to keep things uncomplicated… unless they’re not getting their way
- Known to be manipulative when trying to get what they want
- Free-spirited and bold in their choices
- Often underestimated, but capable of big things when they focus
- Thrive in spaces that let them express, explore, and be a little extra
If you are the only child...
High School Drama GIF by HBO MaxGiphyOnly children can be the ultimate "one woman show" as they are often a mix of all the birth orders rolled into one. Without siblings, they learn to entertain themselves, advocate for their needs, and navigate adult conversations early. That independence can make them magnetic, mature, and deeply introspective, but it also comes with a deep craving for validation and control.
Only child traits can include:
- Mature and wise beyond their years, often viewed as old souls
- Conscientious and responsible, usually the go-to person in their circle
- Seek approval and validation more than they let on
- Natural leaders with big ideas and even bigger plans
- Can be sensitive and deeply affected by criticism
- Prefer structure, routines, and control (sometimes to a fault)
- Like things done their way (and don’t love compromising)
- Thrive in solitude but still want to feel seen and celebrated
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