

On paper, I had every Black woman's dream. A six-figure salary. A flashy career in entertainment. But what most didn't realize is that I was severely burnt out. Corporate America had me working 70-hour work weeks, on average. I was juggling this while raising two small children. And as if that wasn't impossible enough, I was (and am!) an empath. I peep everything, intuitively pick up on vibes and easily absorb other people's energy and intentions.
Fast-paced environments that require lots of social interaction are extremely taxing for empaths and introverts, and that was my life for 10-12 hours each day! Every day, I constantly brushed off racist and sexist microaggressions, executed high-stakes presentations (despite being shy), schmoozed with celebrities and took on all of the last-minute, high-pressure projects needed to overcompensate for the deep insecurity that I felt inside about being a Black introvert.
Looking back, I was a train wreck waiting to happen. And happen it did.
At the height of my career, my once statement-making hair started to fall out in clumps. Then, the stomach issues, joint pain and random food allergies set in. Imagine being a young Black woman trying to convince your doctor that you're struggling with all of these random symptoms? Good luck!
Life has a funny way of forcing you to slow down when you refuse to slow down by choice; I was finally diagnosed with lupus and had to resign from my job. My doctor told me that my condition was likely triggered by my stressful lifestyle. Without realizing it, ignoring my true nature made me sick.
Although it was a hard pill to swallow at first, I recognize now that diamonds are forged through fire. Being diagnosed with lupus led to my spiritual awakening. If I hadn't gone through this crisis and discovered my passion for the metaphysical, my self-acceptance journey would have never begun. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Despite society making Black women feel like we need to constantly display super-human strength and resilience, I am proud to be an empath. My experiences have taught me to respect my deep intuition and my need for a quieter, more introspective lifestyle. These are some of my favorite metaphysical practices as an empath that keep me healthy, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
1.Crystal Healing
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According to Harper's Bazaar, crystal healing is a type of alternative therapy that involves using gemstones to bring balance to your life and mind. Healing crystals have been referenced in the Bible, by ancient philosophers, and were frequently used as healing and protective talismans in ancient civilizations like Egypt, Greece and Japan.
Each crystal emits a unique energy pattern and frequency. Carrying these crystals influences your own personal frequency and the quality of your aura in very specific ways.
Rose Quartz crystals are purported to attract love. Citrine is rumored to attract wealth. My personal favorite is Black Tourmaline. I never leave my house without it. It is highly protective and resistant to negative energy. It shields you from taking on the energy of your surroundings and the people around you - an absolute must-have for empaths, introverts, and highly sensitive people.
2.Acupuncture
According to PopSugar.com, acupuncture is the "placing of acupuncture needles at certain acupuncture points to treat a variety of ailments and pain, which are rooted in the blockage of energy." I have used acupuncture consistently over the past five years and for me it has significantly reduced bloating and joint pain and has improved my digestion. It has also promoted deeper sleep, reduced stress, and tons of other benefits that I swear by. I always feel incredibly refreshed and sleep deeply following my acupuncture treatments and try to schedule these in at least 1-2 times a month.
3.Mindfulness
According to MayoClinic.org, mindfulness is "a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment." The key to practicing mindfulness successfully is through allowing ourselves to be "fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed" by what's going on around us.
I practice mindfulness by taking a phone-free walk for at least 30 minutes each day and turning on my senses so that I can fully take in and appreciate all that is going on around me. Limiting your time on social media, turning off your phone, and doing one thing at a time (like eating with the TV off) are other ways to incorporate mindfulness into your life.
4.Astrology
Astrology is "the study of the influence that distant cosmic objects, usually stars and planets, have on human lives." Astrology boasts lots of legendary followers including Psychologist Carl Jung, Hippocrates, and bank tycoon J.P. Morgan who famously said, "Millionaires don't follow Astrology. Billionaires do."
Whether you believe in astrology or not, science has shown that the phases of the moon and planets have a profound effect on humanity, especially those who are already highly sensitive by nature. I notice that I am particularly tense and wound up during the full and new moon phases when lunar energy is super charged. Knowing my astrological placements and transits have also been extremely helpful and incredibly accurate in determining my energy patterns and experiences in the days and weeks ahead.
5.Feng Shui
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According to Invaluable.com, feng shui, "often referred to as the art of placement" is, in the simplest of terms, "about positioning different elements to optimize 'Chi,' or energy in your environment." It is based on the belief that your environment has a direct effect on your mood and experiences.
I am so fascinated by feng shui and have noticed that when I follow its basic practices, like making sure my living space is clear and clutter-free so that energy can freely move, my mood, productivity and energy levels are instantly elevated. Notice how you feel immediately uplifted after cleaning your room? Having clutter and clothes around can be extremely draining to empaths and highly sensitive people.
6.Reiki
According to Reiki.org, "Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by 'laying on hands' and is based on the idea that an unseen 'life force energy' flows through us and is what causes us to be alive."
When our "life force energy" is low, we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of feeling happy and healthy.
Reiki for me has been like therapy. The advice and energy that I receive from my Reiki practitioner is holistic and makes me keenly aware of the patterns and imbalances in my life. I try to schedule in a session at least once a month.
7.Taking Spiritual Moon Baths
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Rooted in ancient Ayurvedic practice, moon bathing is the act of tapping into the powerful energy of the moon to promote optimal physical and emotional health. There are a number of ways to tap into the energy of the moon - my favorite way is through my bi-weekly Moon Bath Regimen, i.e. taking a healing bath with crystals, essential oils, herb botanicals and a variety of sea salts.
When I take my baths, I use formulas that are specifically targeted to what's going on in my life at the time. I use Ylang ylang and Rose quartz if I need to boost feelings of acceptance and love for myself or to reconnect romantically with my partner. I use Green Aventurine and Eucalyptus essential oil if I'm feeling stagnant and unmotivated. Rhodonite is my go-to if I'm going through a tense situation like a break-up, or difficult work project. This practice has helped me so much that I created a company out of it.
Of all of my metaphysical and ritual self-care practices, moon baths are by far the most fulfilling and effective for me. I schedule them in twice monthly during the New Moon and Full Moon phases - with additional baths whenever I am feeling particularly heightened or over-stimulated. I view my ritual moon baths as much-needed alone time where I'm able to manifest positive vibes and experiences in my life.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Tracee Ellis Ross Is Still Living A 'Robust' Life Despite Sometimes Grieving Not Being Partnered
Tracee Ellis Ross sat down with former first lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson for their IMO podcast to have a candid discussion about dating, marriage, and family. At 52, the beloved actress is single, but is still open to finding her person. However, she realizes that she has to navigate dating differently, describing herself as a "unicorn."
“I’m a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman, so it's gonna take a unique person,” she explained. "And in the meantime, I've really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting."
Calling herself a "choiceful woman," she has had to push against culture norms and found that many of her experiences with men around her age were challenging due to the toxic masculinity they had been raised in. Many of their views about relationships conflicts with how she lives her life, so she tends to date younger.
“It's not just that I'm older. I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and who lives a very full, just robust life," she said.
Regardless if they're younger or older, Tracee has made it clear that she isn't settling and won't be in a relationship for the sake of having a partner. Even when loneliness creeps.
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. At all, I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better, it can’t just be ‘I’m in a relationship just to be in a relationship,” she said.
Fans have watched pieces of Tracee's life played out on social media and TV. Just one look at her Instagram, you see that the black-ish star lives her life to fullest and it's filled with fashion, family, and all-round fabulousness.
"Even though the grief does emerge, and that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I think I woke up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up one morning and be like I’m gonna mess this day up. So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”
She added, “And sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done—the courage that I’ve had to have, what I had to learn to how to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind. It's built a really beautiful experience around me and I have incredible friends."
The Black Mirror actress has spoken about dating before and has always stated that she doesn't allow singleness stop her from living her best life.
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