Orgasms are climaxes and climaxes are the ultimate. So, hell yeah, I'm gonna write about them, just as much as I possibly can (for example, check out "10 Hacks To Help You Climax More Consistently", "10 Weird & Random Things That Can Prevent An Orgasm" and "What Is A Super Orgasm & How Can I Have One?"). Today, what we're gonna explore is the kind of orgasms that you can have that don't get nearly as much attention as they probably deserve. What I personally think is so cool about them is they are a clear reminder that there simply isn't just one way to cum and if you're open to discovering some other avenues, you might be able to see the mountaintop—you know, so to speak—a whole lot more often than you currently do. And who doesn't want to do that? Let's check out six "uncommon" orgasms, shall we?
1. How to Have a U-Spot Orgasm
So, what in the world is a U-spot orgasm? It's all about stimulating your urethra which is about gently touching the area that's around and above the opening of your urethra. If you're looking like, "Uh, OK but where exactly is my urethra?", it's an internal part of our body (a tube) that is located between your clitoris and vaginal opening.
Externally, the opening of your urethra is underneath your clitoris and above your vagina. It's literally the hole that you pee out of. When this tiny area is very lightly caressed with a finger or tongue—listen, there are absolutely no words to adequately describe how sensational it feels. There really aren't.
2. How to Have an A-Spot Orgasm
OK. This is the kind of orgasm that I already know some of you are gonna wanna throw one of your shoes at the monitor about because it's like a calculus-level one. However, since I can't think of too many things that are more fun than trying to achieve the Big O, it had to go on the list. An A-spot orgasm is what happens when the tissue that is located at the end of your vaginal canal, between your cervix and bladder is stimulated.
The way you find this lil' spot is you or your partner moves your finger about two inches deeper past your G-spot and—there it is. How do you know if you've reached it? Well, remember how the G-spot feels like a tiny walnut? Well, the A-spot feels really soft and spongy. If a finger moves along it gently in the motion of how a windshield wiper moves, you can end up with an orgasm that will blow your mind in every way.
3. How to Have a Kissing Orgasm
A part of the reason why I wrote the article, "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?" for this platform is because I enjoy kissing so much that those kinds of people seemed like polka-dotted unicorns to me. I'm serious—kissing is so pleasurable to me that I've even had an orgasm from doing it, a few times, before. TMI? IDC. IDC. If I had my way, everyone on this planet would experience at least one before leaving this earth!
While there is no real instruction when it comes to this particular kind of orgasm (which is also known as an oral orgasm), what most people who've had one will say is 1) it's easy to achieve with someone you have a strong emotional connection with; 2) it involves slow, intense and erotic kisses, and 3) the "goal" shouldn't be to have one. All you need to keep in the back of your mind is, if kissing happens long enough and the mood is just right (atmosphere means a lot with these orgasms too), a kissing orgasm can transpire when you least expect it. (I can certainly vouch for that!)
4. How to Have a Nipple Orgasm
A nipple orgasm is pretty self-explanatory. The reason why this is on the list is because, while it can be difficult for many women to have a vaginal orgasm (roughly only 25 percent of women do), if your breasts are a huge erogenous zone for you, this is one that you may want to try because it is very possible to climax, just from nipple stimulation alone. The way to achieve one of these is to deep breathe, slowly, as your partner first strokes your areolas (the dark part of your breast that is around your nipple), then works up to your nipples by stroking and then very gently pinches them. If he alternates the sensation of pinching and kissing them as you focus on your breathing, there is a really big chance that you'll have a nipple orgasm. Maybe even a few of 'em.
5. How to Have a Fantasy Orgasm
They say that the brain is the biggest sex organ there is and I would have to absolutely agree. Case in point—there is one guy who I used to sleep with who I semi-recently ran into. When he winked at me, I literally thought I was gonna throw up in my mouth. That's how disgusting he is to me—now. That's why it doesn't surprise me at all that there is something known as a fantasy orgasm which is also known as a mental orgasm. So, what is that? It's when you are able to climax, strictly from your own thoughts. If you're skeptical about this one, there is scientific evidence which reveals that thinking "dirty" thoughts actually causes your brain to light up in the same way as having your genitals stimulated. So, how can you refute having this type of orgasm unless you try it out first? (Get to fantasizing and definitely report back!)
6. How to Have a Hands-Free Orgasm
If any of these orgasms are a real challenge (at least to me), this one would probably top the list. A hands-free orgasm? It's exactly what it sounds like—it's the kind of orgasm that you try and achieve without using your hands at all? AT. ALL. Technically, oral sex could achieve this goal (I'm thinking that it would be pretty hard to engage in intercourse without using your hands). Still, try and think out of the box by engaging in some water play (showerhead, anyone?), tantric breathing or grinding on your partner while dancing to some of your favorite music.
When you really let your imagination go, there are all kinds of ways to experience this type of orgasm. Again, just remember that it doesn't count if your hands are involved in any way.
7. How to Have an Energy Orgasm
Speaking of tantric breathing, another orgasm that can be a cool experience is an energy orgasm. It's all about focusing on breathing, sound and movement (pretty much in that order) in order to climax. The thing that's interesting about this kind of orgasm is you've got to find the balance between totally freeing your mind of other thoughts while also fully focusing on cultivating sexual energy. Do this by dimming the lights in the room you plan to have your orgasm in; lighting a candle or applying a scent that you want to breathe in deeply; getting into a position where you can comfortably have an orgasm; taking some long deep breaths, and having your partner gently caress your genitalia as you're breathing deeply and swaying your hips back and forth so that your spine is able to feel a bit of a sensation. Then, as you feel more aroused, speed up your breathing as well as your hip movements as your partner intensifies his strokes. If all of this happens at just the right time, an energy orgasm is exactly what will happen. No penetration needed.
8. How to Have a Full Body Orgasm
Let's all be honest—whenever an orgasm happens, it feels like it resonates throughout our entire body on some level. Well, a full body orgasm is pretty much a more intense version of this. The best way to achieve one is to engage in the act of edging (which is when you get sexually aroused to the point of climaxing, but you don't allow yourself to completely get there). In between those times, have your partner focus on stimulating the upper half part of your body that has erogenous zones (meaning it could be your breasts or it could be your ears or neck; the point is whatever turns you on above your pelvis).
While he is consistently alternating between doing those two things, you focus on breathing deeply and totally letting yourself go. If that means saying the dirtiest words created or yelling, it doesn't matter. A full body orgasm requires consistent stimulation on your partner's part and total release of self on yours. And how will you know if you've had one? Let me put it to you this way—I don't think ANYTHING makes someone feel more pleasured, exhausted and totally outside of themselves as a full body orgasm. If it happens, you'll know. You'll both know.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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'One Of Them Days' Star Keke Palmer & Director Lawrence Lamont Dish On The Wild & Hilarious Buddy Comedy
You know those days when everything that could go wrong… does? Where all you can do is laugh, cry, and maybe call your bestie for moral support? Well, One of Them Days takes that feeling, cranks it up to ten, and delivers a comedy that’s as chaotic as it is relatable.
Starring Keke Palmer and SZA, this buddy comedy follows two best friends navigating one seriously outrageous day. Directed by Lawrence Lamont and co-produced by Issa Rae and Keke Palmer, the film brings big laughs, wild moments, and a much-needed dose of Black sisterhood to the big screen.
And with a cast that includes legends like Kat Williams, Vanessa Bell Calloway, and Abbott Elementary breakout star Janelle James, you already know the energy is on point. But what really makes the film shine is the chemistry between its leads.
“I didn’t want it to feel like a bunch of cameos. I wanted actors who embodied their characters,” Lamont shared. “Keke and SZA alone? They’re just dynamic. They really feel like besties. Even when the cameras weren’t rolling, I was like—should we still be filming this?Behind the Scenes: A Movie Made at Lightning Speed
Filming One of Them Days wasn’t just fun—it was fast. The entire movie was shot in just 21 days, which meant the cast and crew had to keep up with the action.
“We were moving at lightning speed, but I think we caught lightning in a bottle,” Lamont said. “One of my favorite scenes is the payday loan center scene. When I called cut, Keke and SZA were literally on the ground cracking up. They had so much fun.”
And that fun wasn’t just for the cameras. The film also brings a fresh take to Black-led comedies, proving that Black women deserve to be front and center in every genre.
“I want Black women to see that they can lead movies,” Lamont emphasized. “Not just be the co-star, not just third or fourth on the call sheet. Black women have fascinating stories, and they deserve to be the story.”
Keke Palmer: The Queen of Doing It All
If there’s one thing about Keke Palmer, it’s that she’s always working. But even with her long list of credits, One of Them Days is special—because it’s her first feature film as a producer. And she’s not doing it alone.
“Queen Latifah has always been so encouraging. She’s supported me creatively and in business since I was nine years old,” Palmer shared. “And then obviously, Issa—I mean, this is my first feature film as a producer, and when she had the project, she brought me on board. We worked on it together for six years. It takes one of us, wherever we are, to lift each other up.”
Why You Need to See This Movie
With its laugh-out-loud moments, ride-or-die friendship, and a fire soundtrack, One of Them Days is giving us the kind of fun, rewatchable comedy we’ve been missing.
“I remember going to see Superbad in high school, and we went three times,” Lamont said. “I want people to feel that excitement again—just going to the movies and having fun.”
So grab your besties, hit the theater, and get ready for One of Them Days—because if you’ve ever had a ridiculous, chaotic, what-the-hell-is-happening kind of day, this movie is for you.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Sony