Tyler Lepley first received acclaim for his roles in Baggage Claim co-starring Paula Patton and Tyler Perry’s The Haves and The Have Nots original series on OWN, which both premiered in 2013. Fast forward ten years later, the 80s baby’s acting receipts have extended to Katori Hall’s P-Valley as a series regular, and a role in Amazon Prime’s original series Harlem.
As Ian Walker, Lepley takes on the role of a passionate chef whose dreams drive him to make it in the Big Apple. Lucky for Lepley, his character’s aspirations are his day-to-day reality. The 35-year-old Philly-born actor spoke with xoNecole’s contributing features writer D’Shonda Brown for our xoMan series about his definition of Black love, the importance of putting Black female voices in the forefront of Hollywood, and love advice he would give his Harlem character.
“I think I would tell him that even though you run into obstacle after obstacle, following your heart is something that's worth following,” Lepley told xoNecole about relationship and love advice he would give his character. “Finding that love is something that is worth fighting for, even though it may feel negative at times. I think one thing that he would share with me is he would say, ‘You're right where you're supposed to be.’”
Seen in the media proudly as a partner to Miracle Watts and a father to their son Xi Lei Lepley as well as two other children from a previous relationship, the actor has been in the limelight for not only being a talented man but also one who wears his love for his new family unapologetically on his sleeve. But what does love look like to the episodic Tales actor? “To me, Black love looks like effort. When you love something, initially it can feel like it's a knee-jerk reaction,” he said.
“But soon, we'll figure out that the honeymoon phase in anything wears off initially. Then, we got to get into a place where we're committed to staying in a place that feels good. It takes effort. It takes time. It takes a higher emotional IQ.”
He added, “Again, it takes a lot of effort. It's something that's worth fighting for; something you got to be committed to. Not one foot in one foot out, just so you can bounce anytime. It feels hard, but truly to stay committed to it to see what it grows into.”
In the Tracy Oliver-written show Harlem, the heartthrob portrays Ian Walker and has been actively part of the cast alongside Meagan Good, Grace Byers, Shoniqua Shandai, and Jerrie Johnson since the first season debut in 2021. Now gearing up for the show’s highly-anticipated second season, Lepley reflected on how being part of the ensemble has allowed him to grow as a thespian and overall creative in the entertainment industry.
“I would say that the number one way that I have grown as a creative and also as an individual is to just understand how important collaborative efforts are when we're trying to get to a collective goal,” Lepley shared about the lessons he’s learned while being part of the Amazon Prime series.
(L-R) Mimi Valdes, Tyler Lepley, Jerrie Johnson, Grace Byers, Tracy Oliver, Meagan Good, Shoniqua Shandai and Juani Feliz
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for Prime Video
“As an Aries, as an only child, I'm very headstrong. I'm a leader. I feel like when a problem arises, I'll fix it, 10 [times] out of 10,” Lepley continued confidently. “However, in a family environment, family structure, in a group effort, you get some of that magic by listening to each other and helping each other, being the ear to listen to while also having something to say yourself. I would definitely say as a man and as a creative, understanding the dynamic of teamwork is definitely something I took away from being here at Harlem.”
With a show about a group of women navigating life, love, and personal growth in their 30s, and as a male protagonist in the show, Lepley gives flowers to the story arcs of Harlem for giving these strong Black female leads depth, strength, and interest throughout every episode that audience members can connect to. “One thing I've learned is that to have these Black women at the forefront is something that's not just welcome but something that's necessary,” he championed for the stories told in the show.
“I've been speaking about this time and time again, that I've never been more supported by anyone in life, more than a Black woman. The sense of strength, the sense of being able to feel safe in that space is something that's not only beneficial but something that's necessary and something that I really took away from being in this family that we call Harlem and something that I'll forever be grateful for.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Arnold Turner/Getty Images for Prime Video
RELATED
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images